j. cole ft. miguel, power trip.

My brother is a lot of things and most of the things that he is involve things of intelligence. However, ever since he told Lerato that he hopes he's not her second chance? He's been as less intelligent as that line is. What was he thinking? I've been trying to understand for weeks now what he possibly could've meant by it.

It's not like I get much out of him anyway, the man is a brick wall. He says nothing and shows no emotion, it's like he lost Samira all over again. Which, I suppose he technically did but this time he did it himself.

He was uncontrollable after her death, I had to take over immediately. I had already been the Beta so it wasn't like I didn't know what to do. However, going from part time to full time was a big adjustment for me. There's so much I had to let go of just to run things.

With all the human tourist it's my duty to make sure none get harmed. I have to make sure all wolves are at their best behaviour. I have to make sure all the humans are good, no casual hunters and no wolf hunters.

There's so much that goes into this position and as much as I love it when I found out Lerato was his second chance. I was ecstatic, I thought I'd get my life back. I though Raheem would take back his position and I could just fall back, I didn't even want to be Beta anymore.

I wanted a life away from all of this but now, I'm stuck. Once again his actions leave a sizeable impact on my life. Walking into his room I find him sat on his bed his eyes looking out the window, which I must tell you is a better position than usual.

He hasn't done much since our return, I can tell I barely came back with any piece of him. He's really just a shell but his hardheaded nature won't allow him to just go back to her. I wish he would, whatever he thinks he's doing is stupid. Motheo is right there, she could easily fall right into his arms.

"Do you think I made the right decision?"

My eyes widen slightly, he had never asked me my opinion on the matter. Instantly shutting down anything I had to say on it, from that very first day I tried so hard to convince him to wait for her to return.

We had figured out that she was at her brothers when I had called the hospital. I told him that she had to be drugged to sleep but that did nothing to shake him. He was convinced this was the only way, a way that made no logical sense.

Lerato had never spoken of being Queen and when she wanted to join me on my takedown of the royals she was only interested in telling her truth. So why did he think abandoning her so she could reign would be a smart choice?

"No, I already told you it was the dumbest thing you have ever done. Lerato is your greatest blessing."

Even as far as we are currently, she still manages to make him better. When she asks about him his eyes shift and some form of emotion is finally recognisable in them.

He doesn't say a word but just listens in on our conversations. Waiting for her to say anything about him, anything at all.

Amir used to join in on the conversations but he hardly does now because Raheem will be there. He hasn't been the biggest supporter of my brother since our return. Honestly, I'm not either.

Amir claims it isn't right for Raheem to listen in on the conversations, he made a choice to leave Lerato and freeze her out. So, he should live with it. Between the two of us, he has voiced that he thinks it would probably get Raheem back to South Africa sooner if he didn't get to hear her voice.

I think he's right but I couldn't do that to my brother, he looks shitty enough as is. If hearing her voice can brighten his day even the slightest bit, then so be it.

My brother's eyes sink at my words, he let out a broken sigh, "Is that what Samira would think?" My eyes immediately soften, I hadn't even thought about what he would think she would think about this all.

"She only ever wanted you to be happy."

He shook his head, "And so she had to die in order for me to be? Then not only that but I had to paired with someone whose first mate was the devil that killed her?" I had never seen my brother so broken.

The conflict was clear in his eyes, we all knew how much he wanted Lerato. How much he cared for her, what we all forgot was how much this situation would be damaging him from the inside out.

"You didn't leave 'for her reign,' did you?"

He lets out a weak scoff, "No." He runs a hand through his dark hair that has grown far too long throughout the weeks.

"I panicked. For the first time since I met Lerato I had a dream about Samira when I was at the hospital. She was angry, she was so angry that I had forgotten her. I hadn't even thought of her since I met Lerato and she was hurt. I had never mentioned her before Motheo had, I had just... completely erased her existence."

He raised his head, trying to keep the tears at bay, "She couldn't understand why I would do that and I felt so guilty. She died because of me and I completely forgot about her! What kind of mate does that!? What kind of man? She loved me with every ounce in her and this is what I do in return? Fall for the mate of the man that had her killed?"

"Raheem, Lerato has nothing to do with that. She didn't even know."

"But I did! For crying out loud, even you were more apprehensive about Lerato in the beginning than I was. The shock on your face the night she found out I knew Motheo was clear. You couldn't believe I was smitten over her and that's exactly how I should've behaved. I should have at least tried to keep her at arms length."

A tear betrayed him, "Or at the very least mention Samira. I let her down, she was nothing but loving and loyal. She was the most perfect woman on this planet, how in the world the Moon paired me with two women as powerful and loving as them both is beyond me."

He stood to his feet, "So I figured, if I could let Samira down so dismally — I could do the same to Lerato and I couldn't stand the thought. So I left."

—

How are we feeling now? 🥺

You want more chapters in Khalil's pov in the future?

fun fact that i know most of you will hate me for: most of the times chapters get held up bc i don't have a song for the chapter yet. looooool, it's funny bc i know 99% of y'all do not listen to the songs anyway. lmaaooooooooo.