freya ridings, blackout.

Takeover is rather dramatic, if the community no longer wishes to be ruled by a monarch than so be it. All I know is that I'm taking down those Royals, only the Goddess knows what other skeletons hide in their closet.

Besides, ruling isn't something I'm dead set on. I do still believe that it is my rightful place because it is. I was robbed of it so if I were to have the opportunity to take back what is mine — I would.

However, I wouldn't go as far as The One Who Can't Be Named has taken it. There's no need to want my life and image to be picture perfect, I'm not running for Miss Universe. I don't care how I'm perceived, the community will take whatever I give them.

And had that been the two of us together — leading, then that is exactly what I would've given them. I wouldn't hide his past and I wouldn't expect them to even care because being Queen is not my top priority.

He was.

I shake the thoughts of him away as I make my way out of the Pack hospital, I begin to make my way to my car when my phone begins to ring. It's been a week since I've spoken to Motheo therefore around two since I sent him that message.

Once I'm comfortably sat behind the wheel I finally take my phone out of my bag and see the caller ID. I freeze, I hadn't spoken to him in weeks either.

"Alpha Khalil," I put him on speaker as I Bluetooth connect the phone to the car, so I can start it up and head on home.

I place it in its charging dock and start to reverse out my parking space, "Hey, Lerato. How are you?"

I try not to hold any animosity towards Khalil and Amir both, they had treated me with the worlds kindness before I met Raheem. So it was only fair I removed Raheem from the situation alone. I didn't want to be rude to the two people who really held me up after everything that happened with Motheo.

Although they reminded me of a much weaker time in my life I couldn't toss them aside.

"I'm really good, how are you?"

The main reason I would never be the one to call Khalil or Amir is because I knew I'd cave. I knew I'd ask about The One Who Can't Be Named and it would just pull me down again.

I hadn't figured out how to break the news about the Royals yet. I just knew I had to tell the community but I just wanted to have the last bit of normalcy before I did.

"I'm well," The conversation goes on for a bit as I near my house and I really feel the pang in my heart as the banter passes back and forth.

Soon though I hear him audibly exhale and before I get to ask what's the matter he's speaking again, "We miss you on this side."

I raise my brow, "We?"

I hope he just means himself and Amir, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss Dubai. I had the time of my life there.

Even before formally meeting Raheem I was so happy there, it was honestly the fresh start I need. The fresh start I still long for, I doubt I still belonged here but if I was ever to be Queen...

I pushed the thought to one side just as Khalil spoke again, "Amir, Raheem and I." He clarified.

I rolled my eyes at the insinuation of his brother missing me, "Raheem?"

I park my car in the drive way and hop out, pulling my bag out with me as I shut the door and lock it. I walk up to my front door and open it up with my key.

"He does miss you, Lerato, what he did wasn't the easiest of decisions. You know he has feelings for you."

"What do they matter if he can just walk away without having so much as a conversation with me first? What do they matter if he's just going to leave me the way Motheo did. What makes him so damn different?"

I hear him exhale rather violently as I hear a slight swooshing sound, "Are you kidding me? What makes him different!? Oh, I don't know maybe that he's not a innocent she-wolf killing, piece of shit, sorry excuse for a King? Maybe that he's not a liar, or just maybe because he thought he was putting you first.

"Yeah, it might have not been the best way to go about it but at the end of the day Lerato, he's nothing like that jackass King of yours. And you know that, don't demean him just because you're hurt."

It's time for me to do stuff violently as I throw my bag onto the couch, "Oh well excuse me for not pitying your scumbag, runaway, one way decision making brother! He made this decision, okay, and I don't give a shit if it's what he thought was best because it wasn't! It isn't! I've been through enough,"

My voice let me down as the words got choked up in my throat, "I've had not one but two mates leave me, two! Do you know what that feels like Khalil? Huh!? No, you fucking don't so don't you dare call me and tell me 'don't demean him just because you're hurt,' goddess, fuck you." I hung up.

Emotions overcame me once again as the sad reality sunk in, I was mate-less once again. I had been given two chances at love and neither of them worked out. Was I the issue? Was I just that unworthy of love, was I too much? Too broken, too fragile or just simply not worth it?

The last thing I ever expected was for Raheem to leave and over something so frivolous? My goddess, I could have never seen it coming. Especially not so soon after finding out who I am to him... or who I was supposed to be, I guess.

Maybe I didn't match up to his first mate.

Placing my hands at the back of my cornrowed head, I look up at the ceiling, "What's wrong with me!?" I cried out as though the Moon Goddess could hear me. As though she would grace me with her presence and explain to me why I didn't deserve a mate.

I put my head in my hands as I once again cried over this stupid predicament. I thought I was through with it but it's like the more I convince myself I'm over it and the more days pass whereby I think I am. The harder I cry once it catches up to me and reminds me that I'm not.

I pick myself up from the couch and slowly make my way to my room, hop in the shower and let the water drown away my tears. Feeling this way for the second time in a matter of months is heart wrenching.

I just can't believe my poor, distasteful luck anymore. I cover my face before I let out a scream that lasts as long as my throat will allow. I shrink to the bottom of the tiled wall and let the hot water scorch me.

When will I finally get my chance? When will I get to be happy?

—

Confession: I had actually written chapters 29 and 30 a while back and they were so so sweet but I chucked them aside and made him leave instead. 😗

Surely that last sentence is directed at me. 💀