Traffic was horrible. I got stuck in rush hour on I-10 heading out of town. It didn't really start moving until I hit Riverside. By then, I needed to stop for gas and pee. Grabbing a soda and some red vines, nutter butters and a banana, I was back on the road.

The road gave me time alone to think about everything that has happened. I was so utterly wrong about Hunter and Aiden. Although I made my apology to Hunter and the girls, I still had some apologies to make. The guys seemed to understand as well but they are right about something. I owe Aiden an apology and explanation for my behavior, even if there's something nagging me.

He still has a girlfriend and I don't do that

An apology doesn't mean I'm going to go back to the way it was. It only means I won't hurt him more than I have. From what Hunter said he was pretty upset about everything. I don't want that on my conscience and there's no reason we can't be friends.

I do think I should find another tutor. I'm not sure that sitting on his bed, as close as we have been is a good idea. Tempting fate could be detrimental to my heart. And honestly, the only one worried about my heart is me. And then there is the issue of living at the apartment.

I'm still not sure how I got so lucky to be there but as with most things, luck runs out and I have to face reality. It was too good to be true, I knew that from the beginning but I enjoyed seeing how the other side lives.

I'm used to going without, having limited resources and budgeting my way. That's not what the Bradford Drake's family does. I'm not sure those girls know the word budget. And Aiden just bought a laptop because a stranger needed it.

He does have a good heart. And what I said was cruel. He is a good person. I might not agree with his moral compass but he does have a heart. A very sweet heart but he has a girlfriend. I have to remember that.

The lights flash past me as the evening has dimmed into night and the road has opened in front of me. Usually I like to drive. I used to drive off my temper at home but there weren't the problems on my mind then, that I have now. And this isn't a temper I'm struggling with but something else.

Something deeper, simmering just below the surface

I keep coming back to it. The last kiss we had was mind blowing. My body was flooded with power and fire that chased through my veins and took me to another state altogether. I've never felt so out of control, yet so powerful. There was something shockingly arousing, volatile about Aiden.

Something I still want

Touching my lips, I can just imagine the feel of his lips on them. The jolting energy of his hands on my skin. The way they laced into my hair and galvanized my will.

The blast of a horn shocks me out of my thoughts. I need to keep my mind on the road. Aiden isn't an option for me. I know that. I don't see that changing over a week. I just need to make a plan to move forward from here.

By the time I got to my father's house, it was almost two in the morning. Of course, my Dad wasn't asleep yet. Sometimes I wonder if he ever sleeps. But the front porch light is on and I can see the yellow glow of the light from the kitchen. He must be making a late dinner.

I hope he checked his messages. It's not like he gets a lot of calls on his cell. Usually it's just me, or the creditors who want to get paid. He tries to do his best. But he can only pay so much. Being poor is hard in so many ways.

We've struggled as long as I can remember but we've always had each other. There have been times when we were flush and had the most amazing Christmases and then there have been times when we didn't have enough for presents and could barely swing food. He always made sure I had a roof over my head and food on the table. He made me appreciate the things that are important. Most of all that family matters.

Maybe that's why I don't fit in. I've always been treated like an outsider. I didn't dress like other girls. We couldn't afford the fancy clothes or name brands. I didn't go to the places they did, because we didn't have the money to go out much. I wasn't a cheerleader or homecoming queen or anything like that. I'm smart and I'm shy, books thrill me, science interests me and the law challenges me.

None of those things drew attention to me

Slipping my bag from the back seat, I trudge up the steps of the house and open the door. The smell of my dad's chili fills my senses and suddenly my stomach growls, as the spicy sauce makes my mouth water. Dropping my bag at the foot of the stairs, I walk back into our little kitchen.

"Smells good, when do we eat?" I get his attention from the books on the table and watch him look up over the rim of his glasses to focus on me.

"There she is!" A big grin appears on his face as he pulls off his glasses and stands up with his arms outstretched for a hug.

His lean body is still dressed in his clothes from the diner. The salt and pepper hair is tousled from his own fingers messing it up. The serious, deep dark eyes are just like mine. I didn't inherit his straight thin nose or his thin lips but I got his cheek bones and his coloring. Most people say I look more like him than my mother. I don't remember what she looks like now. I don't really want to.

"Hi daddy." Going into his arms as they fold around me and all my troubles melt away. I'm home.

"I got your message, sugar. I thought we agreed that you would stay at school until winter break. What changed?" He kisses the top of my head and we walk into the family room and sit together on the couch.

"I got a job at a little diner by campus. I can't take time off, so I figured we could spend Thanksgiving together instead. I can help at the diner and take care of the books while I'm here." I offer without looking at him. If I do, he'll see there's more to it than this.

"Uh huh." His response is minimal at first and I can see he's pondering my answer. "Honey, are you having problems at school. I know you too well, sugar. You don't make friends easily and I can see by the look on your face that there's more to it. Did you fight with your roommates?"

"Can we eat? I'm starving!" Getting up I go back into the kitchen and spoon out two bowls of soup and cut off chunks of my dad's freshly baked bread. Dad joins me but says nothing more on the subject.

Sitting across from me, we eat in quiet comfortable silence. I avoid his eyes and peruse his books on the table. One on business accounting for dummies, tax liabilities law for Arizona and the latest John Grisham novel. By the look of the stack, he'd given up on the tax book for entertainment. I can't blame him. I don't like tax law either.

"Are you having problems with the financials?" Now I'm worried that me being gone is too much on him.

"No, sugar. I'm just trying to keep up with my girl. You aren't the only one who likes to learn in this family." He takes his glasses off the table and cleans the lenses with the end of his tan cardigan. His light blue shirt has seen better days. I can see he's lost a button again and safety pinned it together. "We're okay, honey. We could be better but there's a roof over our head and hot chili in your belly. I picked up a turkey breast for us and your favorite deep dish pie you like will be ready tomorrow, or today I guess. Fran's making one fresh for you."

Fran has worked for my dad for years. I've always thought she stays with us because she has feelings for him. She's talented enough to definitely cook somewhere she can get paid better. But then Fran has always said my dad is the best boss. He pays his staff more than he takes for himself and each one of them are loyal to him. She's absolutely right.

I still think there's sparks

"Mmm. I'll come in tomorrow for prep. You're going to be swamped for lunch. All those early Christmas shoppers are out." I tell him as I scrape the last of the chili from my bowl."Then I'll do the orders for next week and the schedule."

"You're avoiding the subject, Riley. What happened?" His arm stretches across the table and his hand links with mine.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. I just needed to be here. I need you, daddy but I'm not ready to talk about something I don't quite understand. I'll talk about it when I get my head around it, okay?" Pleading with my dad, knowing he will give me the time I need to figure things out.

Getting a nod and a squeeze from him, I burrow into his hug and breathe him in. My dad has a way of calming me down and holding me up. He's my rock and I don't know what I would do without him.

Saying good night, we take the stairs up and part as he goes to his room and I go to mine just across the hall. This small shoebox of a house is not much but it's home. I grew up here, my childhood is here, my adulthood is here. We may not have all the materialistic stuff and we might struggle to make ends meet at times, but we have what's important. I couldn't imagine calling anywhere else home.

Sleep would be nice, but is just out of reach for me as I close my tired eyes and my imagination takes hold. Rolling over to snuggle my pillow, my mind drifts to Halloween night again.

He followed me back to the apartment. He made sure I was safely in before he went back. He didn't push me but gave me space and kept me safe. And Aiden has a girlfriend that lives on the other side of the country. And I've told him to forget me.

I need to do the same.

The sun rises and so do I as the bright sun lights my room. A hot shower and some coffee can take the edge off the crankiness and wake me up but my quandary still exists. How do I make amends but keep away from him?

"Morning, sugar. How'd you sleep?" Dad greets me in the diner kitchen with a cup of coffee and a hug. "You didn't sleep, did you? Honey, I'm right here for you."

"I know Dad. Just not ready yet. I'll start prep." Moving to the big refrigerator, I pull out what needs to be chopped, sliced and diced.

With my arms full, I carry my work load to the long stainless steel table and grab several containers for the vegetables to be iced in. I line them all up and get to work. I want productive work. What I know, what's familiar. I pull knives from the magnetic board and with deft ease begin.

I hear voices around me. Staff arrives quickly after I zone out, customers begin coming in, hungry to get their meals and start their day. I'm in mode for four hours before there's a morning lull. Just long enough for me to get a sandwich and soda then go into the office to start on the books.

Dad is working side by side with Fran. They have a system that works for them. An easy routine that works in the small area so they don't step on each other. The small touches and shoulder rubs from Fran don't get past me. Neither do the winks and smiles my dad makes at her. There's something between them that wasn't there before I left for school.

Something good for him, I just don't know what that means for me. Does this mean that things change in our relationship or in our home? It's been just dad and I as far back as I dare remember. A woman has never been in our life. So how much of my dad will I lose?

Last night I got an earful from every male in the family. I've made a mess of things and even though my family will give me a good talking to, bestow their opinions on me, but in the end, how I fix my screw up is up to me.

The bandage was ripped off and the wound was opened up. With the guys telling them about Riley, I had the unhappy pleasure of backtracking and telling the family the rest of the story. No lies, no more hiding, everything, every ugly detail had to be bared.

I explained everything about what has happened with Leighton. From the fighting since last summer to the phone call when she lied. I'm as much to blame as she is. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. We've grown apart and want different things from this relationship and honestly the distance between us is just not working.

"You went to New York a few weeks ago and went out with us. Aiden, you should have addressed this then. You were face to face with her. You could have just cornered her." Dad reminds me of the trip I made because Leighton forced the issue.

"She wouldn't give me a chance to talk. I tried to tell her I wanted out several times already but Leighton kept changing the subject or interrupting me. And I got pushed into that trip. She told me she'd already talked you and mom into going. I planned on ending it that night, I just couldn't." I struggle to make eye contact with anyone.

It sounds like a lame ass excuse now.

Who am I kidding, it is a lame ass excuse. I admit, I could have handled that trip better. I tried to talk to her about this but gave in. I was there and I didn't know what to do to stop her from pushing this farce along. The worst part was that I'm guilty of having sex with her that night. It was hard to say no when my girlfriend was grinding on me and kept her mouth fused to mine.

Hindsight really is twenty-twenty vision, that I've learned several times lately.

The guys each begin to vocalize their opinions. I should have ended it over the summer. I should have ended when we graduated high school. This intervention should have happened months ago. I'm just like Uncle Blake, Jake and Lance. And the ever popular thought: I need to grow a set, that one everyone seems to agree on. Especially me.

Feeling like I've really blown this, my shoulders fall with my chin to my chest. My eyes stay on the fire as the voices around me turn into a blur of background noise. I hear it but I'm just not listening anymore.

The consensus was that Leighton had to go.

"Son, is this Riley worth fighting for?" Grandpa Jim's hand rests on my shoulder getting my attention. Everyone suddenly got quiet to hear what I had to say. "Was it exciting because it's wrong or something else?"

It wasn't even out of his mouth, and I knew what he was asking me. Do I think I stand a shot with Riley if there's nothing in my way? Did I feel something that I think could be bigger and better than what I have? Do I want to see what that connection is, what those butterflies mean? Am I willing to do what I have to, not just to get the girl, but keep her?

I understood the question and I didn't have to think about it. I didn't hesitate to answer him. I knew in my gut what I wanted. "She's worth it."

"Then you know what you have to do." Jim gives my shoulder a squeeze and pats it with a chuckle. "A word of advice from an old man who has been there. The women in this family are a species all their own. Just like your mama and grandma, they are forces to be reckoned with. If she makes your heart race, your stomach quiver and your mouth water every time you think of her, then you find a way to get her and don't you let go. You'll never be lucky enough to find another woman who makes you feel all that and more."

"He's right." Jake spoke up from beside Matt. "I remember how I felt when I thought I blew it with Grace. It nearly killed me."

"Shit.. you were nothing compared to the shit Blake did every time Em rejected him." Tyler winks at my aunt and raises his beer to her.

"That's true. Blake dove out of a moving car twice, trashed I don't know how many bars, and some of the women.. " Derrick stopped by getting a punch in the arm from Blake.

"Not helping here, Dude." Blake tells him then turns to me. "Look, the decision is up to you. But if what Jim said is true for you, then you have to try to win her over. I'm not going to say getting her will be easy but it will be worth it."

I understand what he was telling me for the last year now. Leighton isn't my end game. "I want Riley." It was just that simple. "I don't want to hurt Leighton. I just don't see us going anywhere. If she still thinks that I love her... I have to figure out how to tell her." Blake nods in agreement.

"She knows." Emma, who's been very quiet this entire time, comments to no one in particular while handing over a s'mores. "She knows you want to end it. She just doesn't want to lose her meal ticket." All of us look at her like this is news. "This isn't rocket science, guys. Do you know how many times I saw the same bull happen with these guys when we were your age? She's just like the groupies that hung around Blake and Derrick. They see dollar signs, not a person. Don't give her the chance to talk. You have to take control, Aiden."

"Just send her text. 'I'm done with you'. That should do it." Roan grumbles, getting a shove from Sawyer and a head shake from Harper.

He's the youngest of the guys and is still learning how we do this. He doesn't get along with his family, so our connection here is foreign to him. Reese and Molly didn't want to lose him or hurt him when things became a struggle. They felt we could show him how family can be without him feeling the resentment towards his father. So far it's helped with the guidance of Matt and his uncle Dillon.

"It would." Matt adds drinking his beer. "But that's not how we handle things. Leighton may be a pain in the ass but she has feelings and you have to remember that. Just treat people the way you want to be treated. It's just that simple."

Matt is still the conscience of this family, just like Emma and Chels are the heart and Blake has taken on the patriarch role. Grandma is the best of all of us and has given each one of us a piece of her. The family has many working parts. All moving together to make this family a whole. When one piece of the whole is broken, it affects all of us. Which is why we don't let each other down.

By the time I hit the pillow, I had a lot to think about. We have a plan, one that I would move on first thing in the morning. Blake said he would talk to grandma while I got things lined up and he loaned us the plane to get to Arizona and back.

This had to work.

"I expect to see you boys bright and early Thursday morning!" Emma says as Grandma finishes up cooking breakfast at the stove. "You are not out of kitchen duty. I don't care if you have practice Friday morning, I don't care if we are heading to the school for the game on Saturday. You will be here, on time for once, am I clear?!"

"Now sweet pea, these boys have their game plan. Don't you, honey?" Grandma pats my cheek and winks, smoothing out Emma's ruffled feathers. "Blake wanted to see you before you go. Oh, here I almost forgot to give you the address. I've made arrangements with the foundation for Riley as soon as Blake told me. They're issuing her an emergency fund for living expenses. That should alleviate some pressure on her. You let me know if she needs anything more."

"Thanks Grandma. It'll probably be better if it comes from the foundation and not me though. I don't think she'll accept it if I give the news." I think she'd actually throw it back in my face.

"Well she's got her pride after all. That's good. She feels better when it's earned than handed to her. I'm beginning to like her." Grandma smiles then tucks a little something in my pocket.