"Did all of your family have that ink?" Alarik's fingers move gently over the back of my neck and his other hand is wrapped firmly around me. I lay on top of the large man and smile as he has no issue withstanding the weight of my body on top of his. My mate.

"Yes, my father was persistent that we all have it. The only reasoning I'd ever coerced out of him was that in battle, they'd be able to put our bodies together if we died or they would have an easier way of identifying us. My mother laughed when he went over those reasons and said he just wanted another piece of art on him. She hadn't been a fan of the ink that covered him, but I had enjoyed it because every piece told a story." His lips move to place a hard kiss on my forehead, and I find deep pleasure in the affection he gives. "I love stories."

It's a whisper, but I know he hears me, and I hope to hear all of the stories he has for me someday. We had spent the entire night in each other's arms, little talking had occurred and as I lay on his broad chest, I can feel my body experiencing exhaustion for the first time in ages.

I smile at the thought. We hungered equally for one another, and the mark on my neck would forever remind him of the submission I'd finally offered. I take a quick look at his skin, my smile widening as I note the puncture wounds that have healed but are still visible.

"Mine," I growl lightly, kissing his bare chest and holding him tighter. Every day should be spent like this, me against his body as those large hands explore my body and creating a desire that stirs in my belly.

"I always have been." Alarik gives me one more kiss before he begins sitting up, I move so that I am straddling his waist. I receive a wicked look before he pulls my face towards his, our kiss turning passionate immediately and sending my head spinning without effort.

I squeal as he moves to the edge of the bed and quickly stands, my body still wrapped around his as my mate's hands move to rest under my ass. This seems to be his favorite part of my body, or his favorite to grab that is and I can't hold back a moan at the friction his walking creates.

His hardness brushes my wet core, the growl that leaves him is felt like our skin meshes. Alarik doesn't speak or ever pull away as he prepares a shower for us, and images of our first-time meeting come rushing back. If only I'd known then what I know now, perhaps I could have saved us all a lot of trouble. But where is the fun in that?

When we step under the falling water, I grip him a little tighter, a pang of worry in my gut at the mayhem that could occur with the simple slip of a hand or foot. Alarik laughs gently at my obvious concern, his mouth pressing against my neck and murmuring something that I don't pick up. Before I can ask him to repeat himself, my mate is pushing into me and stealing away any thoughts I had.

Anything that didn't involve his cock filling me was worth nothing. I cry out at the sensation he's giving me, my body clinging to him and wishing we could live the rest of eternity like this. His soft words only enhance my emotions, the feeling of his claws digging into my flesh brings my desperate mouth to his neck.

My teeth sink into him easily, the taste of his blood filling my mouth only heightens what we feel, and his once slow thrusts become desperate. I let out another groan when one of his hands pulls away, only to descend on my wet and wanting flesh once more. The sound of his palm meeting my ass is heavenly.

"I love you. I love this. Fuck..." He is chanting the words over and over, his beast begging to come out to play this go around. I'm lost, pulling my teeth from his neck and pressing my mouth to his.

Alarik doesn't flinch away at the taste of his blood, instead, that skilled tongue enters my mouth with fervor before the wave of my orgasm crashes into me. My body clenches around his, bringing him to the edge of oblivion alongside me as he finishes with a beastly groan.

My shaky body continues to cling to his, even as I'm set on my feet and he begins trying to clean me. I relish in the attention, and once the soap has been washed away, I begin on him. Using my hands to scrub away the grime, but keep my scent mixed into his as the wat rains over us. We don't speak, but every time our eyes catch, he kisses me.

I have yet to get used to Alarik's incredible stamina, barely ignoring that the hardness between his legs has yet to lose its excitement. Even as we finish up the shower and turn off the water.

When I look up to see why he is waiting to leave the shower, I see he is staring down at me with a look that makes me feel so loved that I choke on the tears that want to spill.

How long had I craved something so similar? I'd looked for these kinds of emotions in all the wrong places and people. When I fully consider it, regretting my past is useless and will do nothing to help me move into a better future with my mate, but in a way...I do. I can't blame myself for the way I coped with my traumas and understood—especially with Leslie, that sex was used as a way to lose one's self. To distract yourself from everything and everyone.

She'd done the same thing after I turned her, once she understood control and didn't kill everything she bit, there was no human left unturned. Any male, or female for Leslie, that piqued her interest and was sexually willing...got to experience her.

We tried to fill in our broken pieces with pleasure, believing that through that we could find a savior. A way to become whole once again.

I'd calmed down with my deviant ways after my friend joined me but certainly had not stopped. My taste just narrowed a bit, and I began running a coven, so my time was always limited.

Although being a mother had never been an option for me in this life, it had felt nice to help the younger vampires when I'd been with them. The maternal instincts I always ignored were fed through them, taking care of their needs, and making sure that the ones who seemed so hopeless in their new and confusing lives found a way. It was not the most important part of their lives and was easily forgotten once they began living the rest of their eternities to the fullest.

But, if they were ever asked who showed them how to survive, how to find the normality in the strangeness that most of them had been forced into...I know they would say my name. I'd never found the love that I wanted, with vampires or humans, but I would be remembered in the way that a foster mother is.

Now I stand in front of Alarik and know that he's seen me in the same light I've seen so many before. I had been broken and desperate when he met me, a mess of a woman with little to no want for anything other than my preservation. My mind had been closed to anything, the wish for death a silent but always present reminder that what I had, and who I was, mattered none. I'd always felt so trapped in this heartless body, the one that men loved to touch and use. The one I allowed so many hands to guide as if that would help me find a way out of the pain that never seemed to fade.

I wanted the freedom that I'd thought would be taken away by a Lycan who had been too bold, so quickly. Alarik had scared the hell out of me that first day, and never really did stop making me feel that small ache of worry until recently.

Everything about the male overwhelmed me and looking back on our past I had been too caught up in my own emotions, and thoughts of what I deserved to give anything about him a chance. His anger had been well justified in most cases, and although my mate eventually overcame the jealousy of my past, I know it will never fully pass. Alarik did not still hold it against me, but the sins were still there.

I had been very aware that I did not merit this kind of happiness, that whether it was the Moon or any other god that put us together they'd been wrong. Still, through my thankfulness, I worry he will be stolen away when they realize our matching has been a mistake.

My sins, whether sexual or not, could not allow them to give me to someone like Alarik. He is a beast of a man and has surely taken as many lives as I had, but his own self held innocence was an honor I would never deserve. No female on Earth could be worthy of a male such as the one I'd been given.

My fear of losing freedom almost deprived me of the blessing that stands before me. Never had I known liberty like this. I rest my head on his chest and sigh, images of an old me coming back from what I hoped would be their grave.

My mate deserved to hear this. The story of the woman he'd fully given himself to last night, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to tell this again. Or at all. I hoped my throat did not close up as I prepare to tell him more about myself, things that not even Leslie knew.

A woman who'd been given sight into my mind, her eyes had witnessed that horror that was my family all those years ago, but she would never know of what I did after. Alarik would hear something from me, that no one else ever had. I'm the only one still standing to explain the years I'd spent being so much like the man I hated. Ivan and I would never be the same, our minds and want to kill always so much different. But that didn't mean I was not a monster similar to him.

The difference was held in our motives. One of us liked to watch the world burn around them, while the other wanted to be far from the other was just desperate to be away from the flames. Desperate to feel secure, to no longer worry. My time after escaping his coven had been spent ruining so many, in hopes it would save myself. I feel my bottom lip quiver as I hold my composure, my secrets having been held in for so long.

"You know the basics of what happened when I was turned..." I start the conversation off with my eyes closed and feel his bare body tense in my arms. I squeeze tighter, knowing that if I wasn't against him, I would lose the ability to speak.

"We don't have to talk about that, Eira. I'm going to find Ivan, and it will all be over, you will not feel unsafe any more." I laugh and shake my head, keeping my eyes shut so that he can't see the mixture of pain and unbelievable delight mixed within them.

My voice is threatening to break as I remember those minutes, hours...days, and eventually years of events after I'd left Ivan's coven.

After I fought my way out of hell and carried out the worst of actions to survive in the new state my body had taken on. The new hunger, the cravings of things that would make me cry harder than Ivan ever had—those things still haunted me.

A sinister monster that lurked in the back of my mind, that had told me for so long that I was not deserving of this kind of love. He needed to hear it all, to understand the horrors I'd given with my bare hands. The lives I had taken.

"Just listen...I've never told anyone these things and I want to feel like you know me entirely. I can't believe you genuinely love me until you understand who I have been even if that part of me is no longer here, today." My eyes open for a moment, peering upward to see the serious expression on his handsome face. I receive a quick nod before my lids shut once more.

"When I left the coven, I hadn't needed to kill vampires to escape or even fight them. Ivan had given me a lot of threats if I left, and after having put me through all that shit when I was human I could tell her never thought I would leave him, but that if I did...he'd thought I would come back. After I left, I had little idea of where I was and no idea what to do now that I wasn't a human. My memories of the land were foggy, and their coven had been a long way from where my family had lived.

I'd learned they had stumbled upon our camp on accident, they ran out of humans and had killed off the clans nearest them. Ivan would tell me about how they stalked a few of our men for weeks, waiting for them to lead the way to where we all had settled and then attacked after days of watching our people.

I was chosen specifically, not at random. When I started running, I didn't stop, even when I came across clans full of humans, I would not let myself try and find shelter or even eat. Every day that I was given away from him seemed borrowed, and when over two weeks had passed with no one finding me I had been on the brink of madness. My body was exhausted; the only reason I hadn't been starved enough to push me into relentless feeding was because of the amount of blood I'd consumed while with them. I drank and killed so many people so that I could have a chance at survival.

Then, I found a clan. At first, I just watched them at night, telling myself I would hurt anyone and at worst I could just steal someone away for a night. But the spot I'd chosen to stay hidden in was found, spotted by a man who had looked at me and known exactly what lay within."

Alarik brushes his fingers through my wet hair, pulling me a breath closer and urging me to continue. So, I do.

"Back then I didn't hide my teeth, they were my only defense, and nothing could make me put them away. When an arrow went through my chest, I didn't have the opportunity to run or attempt a getaway—I was dragged from a tree and those people tried to kill me. They had, no doubt, heard of the attacks on their kind. My kind. They were savages, but when I had the opportunity to sink my teeth into one of them it was all...so easy after that. Whatever was inside of me understood how to protect itself, and once it fed on one human it went after another.

Men, women...children. I didn't wipe out an entire clan as Ivan's coven had, but I killed dozens of people in a night. Most of them only dying for convenience, I didn't drain them all and the kids at the time had felt more like mercy killings. After that I was smarter about my stops, only killing and feeding on those who were far away from their clans. I'd throw their bodies into trees or a body of water. Conceal my presence and move on."

I can feel my body shaking at the memories of the monster I'd been, the lives I'd so carelessly taken. The one I'd taken last night had been just as easy, no remorse held for the loss of that female. So, like the vampire that had walked this Earth hundreds of years prior. Could I revert to those ways so easily?

"I know everyone in this pack has taken a life, maybe even hundreds of them but you need to know what kind of vampire you've mated. The Luna of your pack was almost no better than the male who created her. The one whose head we want on a silver platter, and I worry that one day you'll realize I am as deserving of death as Ivan."

Alarik does not speak right away, and I fear that one look at him will send me to the floor in a rush of tears and heartbreak. Even with the bond in place, my insecurities still seemed to hover around me—nothing in this life could fix the broken pieces inside of me. That was my job. When I feel his hands moving up my now dry body, eventually coming to rest on y cheeks I try not to move.

He pulls my face, making me stare directly into his eyes as soon as I open. There are no words of comfort, my mate does not ask any questions or insure me that everything will be okay. Instead, he just looks at me, taking in my features as I begin to do the same to him.

The Lycan does not seem displeased or thrown off in any way by my sudden information and I worry it means he is thinking of ways to simply leave. To prove to me that I am as unworthy as I believe. When those lips descend upon mine, however, I question my judgment and stay still as he tries to slide his tongue between my nervous lips. Alarik pulls an inch away.

"You are a creature that was built purely for survival, to live off others for the entirety of your existence. No one can judge a lion for eating the lamb, why would you be any different?" My lips meet his once more in a punishing kiss, one that tells him just how much his words mean to me.

Once again, my body is alive against his, and as we make our way towards the bed. I find comfort in his words, the way he holds me, and the feeling of his lips on mine. I let out a giggle as he promises me another round or two—knowing full well the pack will be left to their own devices until his hunger is satiated.

-----------------------------

My hand is dwarfed by Alarik's as he seems determined to keep a hold on me until we reach the field where a lot of our pack is training. We receive eyebrow raises and a few too many winks. Had my heart still been beating I would have received a nice red tint on my cheeks from the embarrassment of what these creatures had to have heard last night.

Even though we'd spent a few more hours in our room, making love until my throat was sore, my body was still begging to be against my mates. Every inch of me wanted to be filled by his scent. Loved by his lips, and hands. Worshipped.

My dirty thoughts are effectively cut off when a very amused Asger approaches, Valda right behind him as we come to a stop in the middle of the territory. I look around for a second, wondering why Leslie isn't here grilling me about my little sex fest last night. I knew once she arrived, I would be riddled with questions.

No one could mentally prepare themselves for that.

"You seem a little stiff today, vampire." The Beta gives me a shit-eating grin, but it quickly dies off when Valda's elbow hits him with a hard elbow. My mate laughs but I continue throwing a glare at him without any amusement to be shown.

"What he meant to say, was you look lovely today Luna." I throw her a satisfied wink, pushing further into the warmth of my male who is saying something aggressive to his second in command.

Their back and forth banter becomes entertaining background noise as I continue my search for my black-haired friend.

"Leslie went to help a few of over men patrol the edge of the territory. She shouldn't be much longer." Valda eases my worry, knowing the vampire she would soon enough find some handsome male to sneak away with. "How are you feeling?"

I release a small laugh at her question, my eyes moving over to the large males whose lips had touched every inch of me last night. The tug on my heart has me shrugging as I watch him begin interacting with other pack members. Alarik seems happier than ever, and I'm thankful I can bring that feeling to someone I certainly do not deserve.

"Like I wasted the last few centuries of my life when I could've had him between my legs." Her abrupt squeal of laughter catches the attention of most of the Lycans around us, her face turning red at the obscene statement. I snicker and blow a kiss when Alarik narrows his eyes at me.

"That is too much for my innocent—" A scream cuts through the laughter and friendly conversation around us.