A fire in my lower abdomen drags me from the comfort of unconsciousness, howls of pain the only noise I'm able to conjure up as I feel every jolt. My fingers grab for the untouchable pain, no one else seeming to be around as I am tortured from the inside. It hits repeatedly, jerking my body from one side to another before I'm finally able to let out the desperate screams I'd been holding back.

My fangs elongate. Body bucks as I hear the yelling coming from downstairs followed by heavy feet beating the floors on the way to my room. I can feel the Lycan getting closer, my pain only subsiding slightly but it's better than the raging fire.

Alarik throws himself through the doorway, knees hitting the ground beside my bed as he stares at me and I see him reaching outward. I practically beg for his touch, pressing into his hand with a long sigh. The pain leaves immediately, bringing me a sense of peace I never understood I needed until now. My body is still shaky, trembling hands gripping onto the male who's still giving me words of encouragement as I try to ground myself in this time.

As I prepare for it to come back but hope that by not breaking contact it never will.

"What's happening to me?" I question, voice raspy as it manages to escape my raw throat. Alarik observes me with hesitation, I can tell by the way he begins wrapping his arms around me he's trying to protect his neck in the position.

The puckering of his lips and endless scanning of those eyes tells me how worried he is for me, and by the look, he's giving me I doubt anything I say would be listened to. So, I don't bother fighting as the big Lycan moves into my bed, his breath quickening as his body pressed against mine, and just like that, I'm holding back little moans. Everywhere he touches feels like magic moving over me.

I move my fingers lightly over his thick biceps instead of pushing him away and think that maybe he isn't the worst dog to be held by. I'm sure there were the worst options.

"By drinking my blood, you've bonded us in an exceedingly small but significant way. I was in the cabin grabbing a few things when I felt you in pain, and anytime we have that much distance between us again you'll experience the same sensations."

My first thought is to blame him, but then I remember that I shoved my teeth into his neck. How dreary that I only have myself to hold responsible.

His warm hands move over my body, at first, it seemed comforting but now I can feel the sensual nature of his fingers as they try to learn each part of me. Did he not already know enough, he'd had me wet and pressed against him last night and now I'm laying beside him most inappropriately. I almost laugh at the thought, never in my life had I imagined caring about taking things slow.

"I've never had this happen after drinking someone's blood." He growls, irritated by my blatant explanation. Was I supposed to starve before meeting this jealous fool?

"We're mates. You'll never experience what we have with anyone else, especially not a human." He's disgusted by his own words, admitting into the air that his 'mate' has been with others looks painful for him. I roll my eyes, not impressed with the explanation but not risking questioning it by letting go of him.

I never wanted to feel that fire again. No amount of pride would have me putting myself in a position to bring it back.

"If we were mates, true ones, I'd be swooning after you and unable to stop me from jumping your bones. Instead, I'm laying here forced to touch you so that I don't possibly burn alive." I snap at him, and for a few moments, he seems to just take my words without a reaction. Those eyes staying glued to me in a dark, but hungry fashion and I spend the silence trying to see past his façade.

It doesn't last long, because without warning my body is beneath Alarik's large one. As he covers me, I become overly aware of every inch of us touching, the hypersensitivity that I had hoped wouldn't continue seems to be amped up. I'm holding back the urge to rip his clothes off and ride him into next week, to take every bit of pleasure I need from this perfect being.

Those long legs straddle me, his face right above mine while he burns holes into me with those eyes of steel. Hands are caging mine and pushing them above my head, pressing into the mattress with enough pressure to turn me on even more. Oh, this man was doing the worst of things to me, and I never wanted it to stop.

Heavy breaths fall across my face, his scent suffocating me in such a naughty way that I wonder if he can tell how turned on I am. If he could, he wasn't showing it. All I could sense was the irritation seeping from the Lycan. I enjoyed being able to get under his skin, even if it just so happened that he could get undermine as well.

"This is a very difficult situation." He rumbles, the sound going straight to my core. "You are what you are, and I being a Lycan—well it's new territory for everyone. I'll admit I haven't been the best version of myself since meeting you, but what you don't seem to get is that I'm not one of those little wolves that spent their teenage years waiting for a mate. I've lived centuries for you, only wanting these moments of intimacy with you."

If I had breath to steal, he'd have it in the palm of his hand, something inside of me lurching forward as his words soak into me and I don't fight the attraction towards him. For once, I'm allowing his kind words to take effect and I almost smile. Then he continues speaking.

"Imagine my surprise when I find the woman, I've waited my entire life for, smelling of a human male. A used-up vampire who's holding the mating bond in her careless, dead hands." My jaw falls, hurting filling my chest at his statement.

For the first time in centuries, I'm holding back tears, not from pain but disappointment.

His now silver eyes don't move from me, and although I try to fight it mine end up on his lips then eventually his hair. Styled in the same manner as so many warriors I'd grown up with, one I'd held a lot of interest in. None of them pulled it off quite as well as the male above me, however. The beast begins moving in, predatory in his ways as his beard brushes me and a small giggle escapes my mouth.

I regret the sound, struggling to get away from the sensations as presses more of his weight into me. My wiggling only seems to entice him more, and if I wasn't still pissed about his blatant disrespect of my sexual decisions, I'd have submitted to whatever dirty things this male wanted to do to me.

"You've choked me in front of hundreds of wolves and vampires, degraded me, and you expect me to give one fuck about your feelings? You want me to regret living my life while you were holding out for me, for someone who never gave one thought to you?" I let out a laugh, one that does nothing to amuse Alarik, but I don't care. "If I'm such a used-up whore, the nasty vampire that you claim me to be, maybe the rejection on my lips will put you out of your misery. You won't have to deal with—"

I see the red creep onto his handsome face, from embarrassment or anger I'm sure but his hands wrapping around my throat let me know I haven't made the dog happy. He isn't hurting me, even if he easily could, and for just a moment I imagine if we had met differently.

If the male above me was just some random hook up, instead of someone wanting to guilt me for my way of life. A man who had more expectations of me than anyone ever had.

I'm grinning smugly, knowingly worsening his anger while also semi getting off to his aggression. The most attractive man I'd ever met was on top of me, I couldn't crave him. I could see it now, the beast making me bend to his will with the promise of pleasure that those lips and hands could bring me. Such a wicked man that I wanted so much.

The turning in my lower stomach makes me clench my teeth, giving away my sense of distress as I try to clench my thighs closed to keep him from smelling my arousal.

I bite back the moan as I imagine him making me scream his name over and over, no matter how this man treats me I can't stop thinking about the passion we could have together. The greatness that would occur between the two of us was mind-blowing and scared me a little bit.

Why couldn't I just be angry with him?

Throw him away like I had any other man I'd been agitated with. When his nostrils flare and his eyes show realization his blush increases, an almost shyness coming over him at the scent of my arousal.

"Is the big bad Lycan embarrassed?" My voice is taunting, and I lean up to brush my lips along his strong jaw as I continue. "You didn't wait, did you? You just couldn't get it up, baby? Is that it? Am I stuck with a broken-"

He's roaring, the rage so clear in his expression that I feel myself freeze and a strike of fear moves through me. Perhaps I shouldn't have poked the Lycan. Alarik's true nature shows clearly, as he lowers himself against me, and that hardness rubs against my most sensitive area. Even with clothes separating us I'm amazed, more turned on than I ever have been as he tightens his grip on m throat. I lose my head a little, struggling against him and grabbing for his hands.

I scratch at him, scared that he's going to snap my neck.

"Don't sit here and mock me, when your desire is practically suffocating me. Now tell me, does it feel broken to you?" His words are whispered, the grip he has on my neck only lightening a bit as he stares into my eyes where I'm sure he can see my mixture of emotions. I want him to fuck me, but I also want to kill him with my bare hands—such a hard decision.

Alarik lowers himself more, pressing impossibly closer as his cock forces a sound of pleasure from my lips. He drinks it in, that silver gaze full of hunger as he watches my reactions to his sensual movements.

"You like it rough, don't you Little Vampire?" He moves one of his hands away before bringing his nose to the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply as a rumble moves through his broad chest. "One day, you are going to give yourself to me—fully. I won't be the one begging for this bond."

I receive a soft, but predatory kiss against my skin and I shudder.

His claws move down my throat, over my chest, and eventually land at the waistband of my pants. I'm trying not to grind my soaking core into him, but it's hard not to. My self-control is extremely poor today. Alarik is breathing me in as if I'm the air keeping him alive, and I adore it. He traces up and down my shoulder with his warm nose, now and then his tongue darts out to taste me.

"I thought I was coming to save you from death, but it appears I misjudged your situation," Leslie remarks amusingly from the doorway, the one I hadn't even noticed she'd entered.

On instinct I push the Lycan from me, his unsuspecting body easily falling away as I jump across the room and try to gather my thoughts. I was going insane, trying to get it on with the same Lycan I wanted nothing to do with. Oh, my this was a messed-up week.

My eyes don't meet those of the vampire or Lycan who won't stop staring at me. I'm beyond embarrassed, unable to find the appropriate explanation as I wait for someone else to speak. To sweep away the unsure feelings without making me face my issues, I didn't want to deal with this today.

Or ever.

"Is that...Eira! His boner is huge!" She screeches and I almost faint right there, my eyes darting towards the tent in his pants that I want more than anything to be pressed against me once again. She keeps going on, saying things that would make an actual sex worker blush as I begin leading her from the room. A soft growl leaving me as I seem overprotective of the sexy male who should only be seen like this by my eyes.

I'm less than gentle as I push her out the door and slam it, waiting a few minutes before turning sound to look at anything except for the Lycan whose dick is at full attention. He's laying on my bed again, taking up too much room as I ignore his existence. That plan doesn't work for long.

----------------

"Did your friend's wandering eyes spike a bit of jealousy?" He muses, I find myself rolling my eyes before settling them on the Lycan whose been making my life a living hell.

"Unlike you, I don't become jealous of people who don't belong to me." It's a muttered response, but by the way, his thick brows raise I'm sure he's heard me. I do my best to keep my mouth from dropping open as I drool over the sensual Lycan in front of me.

Pure male this one is, the hardness straining against his pants easily proving it.

"You test me as though I've ever needed to have patience in my life. I've never felt this helpless, which is crazy considering finding one's mate is supposed to be a grounding experience. This has done nothing but make me feel-"I interrupt him before he can finish, already predicting where he was going with this speech.

"I'm sorry you got a bloodsucking whore over the innocent lover you'd been hoping for, Alarik. I am. I don't need to have my shitty qualities and how much wrong I've done thrown in my face like this. I won't sit here and take it."

For a few minutes he just watches me, eyes narrowed with anger as he tries to figure out how to respond to my words. I can see his wheels turning, every option racing through him and I'm not sold on which I want him to choose. I liked his constant fight for me, somewhere deep down, but also craved the normalcy of the lonely life I'd lived for so long. If I accepted this fate it would mean change in every aspect, and I wasn't sure if that was ever a reasonable thing for me. Giving up my life for a bond I only felt in small doses seemed to be the better option for me.

"I'm going for a run, otherwise I will shift and tear this house to pieces." The male sounds defeated, frustrated, and quite done. My body freezes at his meaning, my fingers gripping him tight as he attempts to leave the bed.

The only thing keeping me from being in pain was about to walk right out that door, knowing full well what it would do to me. My frightened expression has him tearing away from me, only a flash of guilt crosses him before that stony look replaces it.

"You dare to be shocked by me leaving? This has been nothing but hell for me, and you expect me to stay and make you comfortable at the expense of my peace?" A cold laugh leaves his throat, and I find myself biting my lip to hold back the words I want to yell at him.

I hadn't been the best to him or anyone, but I didn't deserve this. The part that hurt was I knew I would've stayed by someone's side for this—if I controlled their pain to this level, I wouldn't leave them to face it. Not if I could stop it.

"Don't beg me for my heart after this, Lycan. I don't forgive those who hurt me, easily." My words seem to make him hesitate, he knows I'm being entirely sincere, and I almost believe he's going to stay.

When his large build swiftly makes its way from the room and the fire begins building once more, I know that just like every other male this one is prone to disappointing me. I call out for Leslie, hoping she's within earshot as I'm once again consumed.

The burning only solidifying my hatred for this bond, for the Lycan who put me in this position. I can hear her shouting for me, but I get to my feet before she bursts into the room. Slowly but surely, I make my way into the bathroom, falling to my hands and knees into the shower just as Leslie comes into view.

She doesn't speak, just drops down beside me and checks over my bond with her comforting hands. Little sounds of reassurance leave her lips, barely heard over my pain.

Only when I begin gagging myself does she attempt to stop me, not understanding my intentions until the red liquid is splattered around us. With every bit I throw up, the burning fades just enough for me to know it's working. By the time I'm done I have fully collapsed on the floor, Leslie helps me undress and bathes me. No questions asked.

This friendship was one thing that had kept me going since I'd changed Leslie.

Changing her had been agonizing for both of us, we'd been forced to relive her death. It had been worth it, the fiery woman wasted in such a horrific way would've been a travesty. The day I'd brought her back from eternal death I'd cleansed her just like this, soothed her hair back, and promised to rid the world of those who'd hurt her.

I'd scrubbed until she could no longer feel the old touch of unwanted males. Brutality stained her skin, but I slowly chipped away at its layers until she was able to begin her healing. Inside and out.

When my stomach was emptied and I was laying on the shower floor with only the memory of the pain that had just consumed me, Leslie begins tugging me upward. She's giving me a soft word, promising I'll be okay.

"Let's get you dressed..." She murmurs, drying off my now naked body before grabbing a large shirt and pulling it over my head. The material felt nice against my skin, but all I wanted to feel was the Lycan's hands-on me once more.

"I'll go grab a human, get you fed and let you rest—I'll be right back." I nod, standing in the middle of the room and staring after her as she opens the door to head downstairs. Silver eyes meet mine and I feel my chest tighten, guilt flashing through his gaze as it runs down my shaking form.

"Get two, I want to be full." I hiss out, sudden anger washing over me and filling me with a vengeful need in the pit of my stomach. The room wreaked of him, torturing me even further and making my fangs elongate as Leslie rushes from the room.

She shuts the door, leaving me alone to process a few of the feelings moving through me. I'm devising a plan as I hear them begin their argument, my thoughts quickly moving through as I decide on the different methods of hurting him.

A rejection? Sleeping with another man? No matter how many ideas I come up with I feel sicker with each option, my body not wanting to deal with the thoughts of causing harm to a man I'm supposedly bonded to.

"You screwed up, wolf." Leslie is heated, her words a mixture of taunting and anger.

"Don't pretend your friend isn't the most infuriating woman walking this Earth! What was I supposed to do?" Alarik growls lowly, the sound of his voice sends a jolt of wanting to my core. "You aren't bringing any more males to her, Eira is mine, and if she requires anything I can give-" My friend is laughing, which effectively cuts down anything else he'd planned on saying. I could imagine the look of displeasure on his handsome, serious face.