When I left Talon's house, I felt a million different things, anger, disappointment, guilt, it was brutal. I sent Leonard home and told him I wanted to walk alone, I needed to clear my head. I could find my way home by myself right? I mean exactly how big can a pack really be?

I was wrong, I could not find my way back, after what felt like hours I made it out of the maze of houses in the estate. I mean how the hell do all the wolves have houses? Then what is the point of that massive pack house with four storeys and about eight rooms on each four, for who? I hope they didn't expect me to fill it with children, ooh the thought even makes me shudder.

Just as thought I had made it, I came out from what I assumed was the other side. I had never seen this place before, we had a mall? Hmmm we? I walked to it maybe I could find a phone. But even if I did, I don't know Leonard number or even Absalom at this moment. I'd die before I call Malik. I'm sure he was already going crazy looking for me. I still blocked him out of my head. Well it a punishment I guess, one for not giving me a tour of this extra large pack and two I don't have a phone. Not that I'll know how to operate it anyway. But he could always teach me.

It felt like I had been walking for hours, seemed that way as well the sun was high up and madly hot, but it made me realise how rich and self sustaining this pack really was. I passed some factories on my way, many restaurants and bars, even the pack schools. It was huge. But in that time I was trying to sort out my emotions as well, I've never felt as guilty as I did today. And meeting that Talon, made me resent myself even more. Did she have to be so blunt? Ugh I don't like her.

And I felt anger and guilt towards Malik. At first I was mad, it was because of him that I couldn't get to tell Aria I was a witch. But basically it was my fault for hiding it from the closest person to me. And the annoying thing is that no matter how much I tried to stay mad at him, I always thought about what Aria was suffering and I couldn't help but think, did I make him feel that way? And it should be worse right? If anything he said about being Lycan was true then he more sensitive than an average wolf, I should find more about him. I mean I didn't mean to intentionally hurt him, I was just thinking about myself at that moment. I was being extremely selfish. Just because I thought I didn't need him, didn't mean he didn't need me. I hate to say this but I think I'm glad he didn't let me go.

Oh gosh this feels like a stupid turning point right now lol.

Absalom must be thinking the same way as me. He did say he just wanted to raise his daughter and live the way he does. But you never know what's best for you if you don't try other things. Maybe if I could help him see that his life would always be better with Aria in it... I don't know. I really have changed, now I'm supporting the moon goddess?And I am so damn tried of walking. The sweat that had been dripping was now all dried out. I should have walked back what possessed me to send Leonard away?

I just kept walking the sun had already gone to the other side and the evening was cool and breezy, I cannot believe I have been walking this entire day. So much for no physical workout. By body aches so much it hurt to move my legs, I felt sticky and my feet was blistering. My entire skin hurt I was sure I was sun burnt. Ahh curse my pale skin.

Wait. Isn't that? Oh thank goodness. The pack house I made it!

"Oh gosh Luna?" I saw Leonard running down from the stairs to meet me.

"Leonard! Gosh I'm so happy to see you" I smiled. As he walked up to me and I held on for support as he led me to the pack house.

"Where were you? I was so worried, the Alpha has the entire pack looking for you." Trust Malik to be dramatic.

"I just got lost, really."

"My dear!" A familiar voice called out as I entered the pack house.

"Madam Louise" just the sight of her and I immediately felt a pang of hunger. I clutched my stomach as it growled. Everyone heard.

"Oh you poor thing, how about you go clean up and I'll make you something to eat." I nodded.

As I made my way to the stairs I stopped, no way in hell was I climbing that. I looked at Leonard, he shook his head "I'm dead if the Alpha finds out."

I rolled my eyes "I'm sure he'll understand, come on Lenny please."

He gave in and picked me up, bridal style, making swift movements as if Malik would pop in at any moment. Immediately we reached the room we were staying in, he dropped me and ran away. I giggled at the entire thing.

I entered the room peeled off my clothes and walked into the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I took a very hot shower, my muscles deserved it.

I wrapped a towel around my wet hair and wore a bath robe. I stepped out of the bathroom trying to make it quick so I could eat. I was so hungry.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!"

I jumped and screamed. This was a nice posture, one leg in my leggings and the other leg out, I was only in a camisole and struggling to get into the leggings. I toppled over and fell.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"I just entered" he replied and I noticed he was holding a tray. Food!

"I'm guessing that's mine?" I pointed to the tray, it had chicken and some fries on the side, oh Madam Louise really knew me.

He placed the tray on the bed and stared at me, I stared at the food.

"Iris, you're not gonna talk to me?"

I bit my lip, "I was exploring the pack."

"On foot, do you know how large this pack is? It could even make for a small state."

"Oh, oh I know, I learnt that the hard way."

"I don't understand, why did you block me out? I could have come for you. "

And just like that all the guilt I had been pushing away came back gnawing at me like the digestive juices that were currently chewing up my stomach walls.

I sighed, "I don't want to talk about it, not right now."

"Is something wrong? You know you can always tell me right?"

I nodded. "Can I eat now?"

"Sure I'll get you something to drink" he stood up and left the room.

By the time he was back I was already done eating. He put the glass of water down beside me and went in to shower. We didn't really say much to each other, I was more surprised that he just let the incident go but you could never be too sure with Malik.

A few moments later I fell asleep. When I woke up it was still dark, I was not in my room anymore, I wasn't with Malik anymore. Where the hell is this place?

************************************

"Looks like you've forgotten you heritage Iris?" Oh no! That voice, that chilling and numbing voice. Hunting my dreams and causing the hair on my skin to stand at attention. Mother.

And just like that I recognized where I was, how could I even forget for a minute. The still air, the eerie quiet and obscure darkness. I was in the midst of it all, again. There was no sound to be heard but even the silence creeped me out. Only her voice cutting through matter and space stood out allowing me place her location. I knew she was far away but audible enough to speak to an entire football stadium. She wasn't loud but she had the clandestine effect. Making you hear her in your head, twisting and pulling words to soothe and numb your inhibitions, she was like a drug without the sensation of euphoria. Making you aware of the situation without the will to remove yourself from her pull.

That's how she kept us in check. Gaslighting. Making you blame yourself for being inferior and weak, you blame yourself for not gaining love from her, she was a master. Lily couldn't hold a candle to her when it came to mind games. She was a manipulator, the real definition of a witch. And right now I was well aware I was trapped in her mind, but as usual I didn't know how to get out. After all these years she still had me stringed, pulling and releasing, playing around with my mind as she wished.

It was foolish to ever think I could run away when she had me so deep in her clutches.

"You little, perfidious twine" she spat "how dare you? You thought I wouldn't find out you spoke to the Moon goddess?"

I froze, I was terrified, shaking even. Everything I ran away from came crumbling back, flashes of her torture, the hate, fear it was horrible.

"And you had the insolence to send back a message? My you've grown balls! Let's see how does balls work for you now."

Say something damn it. I am stronger than this right? I can't run away and come back shaking like a lonely leaf on a windy day. What am I going to do now. Who am I Kidding I'm useless I've always been useless.

I just stood in the darkness, caged by her magic, unable to speak, unable to move. I really am worthless.

IRIS.

Oh my gosh! "Malik! Malik?!"

"Stop all that shouting nobody is coming to save you."

"I don't care, at least I have somebody" I pulled down the neck of my night gown to show her mark. "You see this, I don't belong to you anymore, never have."

"Ooh now she's so confident in her mate. It's too bad, have I taught you nothing? You still fell in love? You are really stupid."

"No mother, If I'm stupid then you are the same as me, isn't that right?" I finally found a weakness. I know her past, the reason she hates love, the reason she so cruel. At the end of everything she's just broken hearted.

"Are you mad?" She spoke from the darkness, I doubled over in pain, clutching my stomach. She was at it again, but I was used to this pain.

"Mother, I know about your tragic love triangle and the fact that I should probably stop calling you mother. It's sad isn't it? After everything your sister got it all. A family, power, the only thing you loved she got that to. And at the end you were left with nothing I know."

"STOP!!" she screamed in the darkness, I held my ears to lessen the impact on my dear ears. It shook me to my very core, I was covered in goosebumps, my body screaming for me to stop, every fibre of my being screaming for me to back away. Don't do it, she dangerous, she wicked, she's mother.

"You know nothing! You understand nothing! I will tell you Iris the entire truth, in this story I'm not completely the villain, it's not entirely black and white, You've heard my sister's version of things now it's my turn." Her voice sounded different, all the pain I felt was gone and a small light tearing away the thick foggy darkness that surrounded me. I saw my mother, sitting on the throne that was carved out way before I was born, in her temple. Nothing had changed, it was the same when I stood before her more than two centuries ago, it was Deja vu.

She was in her favoured purple fur robe that highlighted her silver hair. Her white eyes adorning the same blank look that felt as if they stared somewhere, not here. Her glowing skin and red lips, she was stunning to look at. In my opinion in comparison to the moon goddess, mother was a beauty. But hers was fierce and wicked, it held not purity or emotion. Nevertheless she was beautiful.

"My father always loved my elder sister more, thinking about only her wants." She started."When she was of age to be wedded she didn't want to marry any of the other gods, she wasn't in love with any she said. My father dragged us away from out family, our people to this strange land with disrespectful twines that disregarded us. I never wanted to leave I was happy there, but my perfect sister wouldn't be happy without love. We lived amongst mortals like normal people, then two men from the village fell in love with my sister, brothers. When the two brothers asked her to chose between them, she refused, saying she couldn't do such a thing. She didn't want to cause discord between them. So they decided by themselves to duel for her, the elder brother ended up killing the younger one and ended up killing himself when my sister refused to be with him for killing his brother. But those annoying humans blamed her for it, saying she manipulated them, the treated her like swine, like dirt under your shoe. I loved my sister back then so I couldn't stand her suffering. But my father was weak and he didn't do anything, I couldn't take it anymore, I killed all their cattle to protect my family to warn them, keep them from my sister. But what did they do? They banished me from the village, my own father, because I was protecting my family. While I was alone with no place to go the witches they understood me, they believed me when even my own father was ready to let me be killed. They saved me and taught me, treated me like one of their own, they gave me the greatest gift in the world, magic. Until I met the moon, he approached me with this charm and charisma. He showed me that even the witches were only using to get back at a grudge they kept with the gods. He made it seem the only one on my side was him. How could I not fall in love with him? He is the freaking moon. But everyone thought it was because of magic, but that's a lie I was naive and stupid and I fell in love with him. My magic screamed at me to stay away, warned me to stay with the witches but I was enamored and obsessed. I let myself fall in love. A foolish spell that made me the foolish little girl I was before. But even then he was playing me, twisting and playing with his words and actions I turned against the only people that didn't choose my sister, the only people that sought after my wellbeing. I killed the witches, all of them, because I was in love and the warned me against him. I used what they had gifted me with against them. And because of what? Love? He didn't love me. After everything, even after father banned both of us from being with the moon my sister still ran away with him. And father? He didn't do anything about it. I was infuriated. I felt betrayed and heartbroken, I hated both of them and I wanted to suffer as much as I did. So I disguised myself and slept with the moon to hurt my sister. I was going to kill him but then I found out I was pregnant. I gave up all my plans for revenge when I found about my child. I loved her with all my might, I was content if that was all I was going to get. But even life could not be so kind, my sister killed my child before it even entered the world. So I killed the moon. My father cursed us both, but I am the only one suffering a curse. I am the only one destined to die. My sister escaped everything with power from the moon but here I am. Waiting to be killed, by my own child."

"I'm not your child." I whispered.

"Of course you are Iris, I raised you, I gave you the most important thing in the world, magic. It was the only thing that did not abandon me, or judge me. Although I knew what you were I still gave it to you. And because of that whether you believe me or not, I love you."

I didn't know what to say anymore, I was confused. It's like I've been plunged back to the beginning. I had a resolve now I wasn't even sure who to hate. Mother might have been rash and angry but didn't she have the right to be? This is too confusing for me. But one thing I was sure of, mother wasn't capable of love. That's where the spell broke.

"Wrong use of words mother, you may be speaking the truth, I really don't care. If you had said does words when I was still here, it would have meant the entire world to me. Infact say to any of my sisters and they'll become putty in your hands. But don't lie about love to someone who has begun to understand it. I know what it means to love and you aren't capable of it."

"IRIS!"

It's his voice again, I can hear it.

She smiled, "well it was about time, let's see how that love works for you huh"

************************************

"Iris" I opened my eyes, Malik was standing in front of me. He didn't look very good, he had a black eye and spilt lip. His pretty face!

"Oh my gosh what happened to you?" I lifted my hands to touch his face. But he held them stopping me before I made contact with his skin. I frowned and gave him a questioning look.

"Iris, what the hell happened to you?" He asked, his tone filled with anger, pain, anxiety. I started to worry.

"I asked first" I snatched my hands away from his and folded them across my chest.

"Well you're answering first" I opened my mouth to argue until he turned me backwards, only then did I really notice my surrounding. We were in the woods, at the entrance of the pack. I looked up and saw smoke floating up from above the trees, it was coming from the pack. Unconsciously I ran towards the pack, Malik close behind me.

I froze when I reached the clearing. The entire pack was in chaos. Wolves running helter-skelter. The estate was on fire except for a few houses, there was a the defeaning sound of sirens, both fire trucks and ambulances. Many wolves were being transported on stretchers, and those that weren't as injured were being treated right there. I saw Leonard as he tried to administer first aid to some injured wolves. It was absolute disaster.

"What the hell happened here?" I asked Malik who was observing his pack in such chaos.

"You happened"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Iris you did all of this."