I wanted to thrash my body around. I was trapped in my own body. Had been for the past two months, I believe. I can hear everything. Feel everything. I just can't talk or move my body. 

Clara comes every day. Wyatt too. My parents too. They all talk to me like nothing's wrong. And I listen. 

It hurts a lot hearing her cry. I don't think she's ever been here and not cried. She sobs her heart out every single time. She's blaming herself for it. I can hear her say it. I hear her apologizing but I can't tell her that it's not her fault, it's mine. I got her involved in the first place. 

I think she'll be here soon for today. 

She stays the whole day. Sometimes, she stays the nights too. She sleeps while sitting on the stool, holding my hand. Or she lies down on the couch I know is here. Sometimes she even sneaks into bed with me, even though she was told not to. I like that she does it. She's allowed to be selfish. Perhaps I am too since I enjoy it when she hugs me like that. It doesn't hurt anymore. 

I've heard the doctor tell my father that I'm healed. All they have to do now is wait for me to wake up. I think two days ago, they took off the oxygen mask since I could breathe on my own. 

"You have to try." 

Wyatt. 

"You want me to talk more to him? To act like I'm happy so he has more motivation to wake up?" 

My girlfriend. 

"Yes! Doesn't it make sense?" 

That's strange. They're not in the room. How can I hear them? Wait a fucking second. 

Did I just get my powers back? 

Electricity, come on. It's the one time you can help me more than you hurt me. 

I felt a jolt in my fingertips, it went up my arm. And I heard the fluorescent lights flicker and spark. I could feel my finger twitching. 

"Okay, fine." 

The door opened and I stilled even more if that was possible. 

"Hey, Callum," they said in sync. 

I can heal again. I have that power again. 

I used all the brainpower I could muster to bring myself to heal and come out of this stupid coma that I've been stuck in for two whole months. I'm done with it. I want to be able to hug my mom and dad, hug Wyatt, hug Clara. Kiss Clara. Tell her I love her. Show her I love her. 

"You won't guess what happened today," Clara laughed. It was fake. She isn't happy. She sighed, stuttering for a while. "I'm sorry, I can't do it." Her hand tightened around mine. "I can't lie like this," she groaned. 

"Then don't. Be honest. Just please, say something that can force him awake," Wyatt groaned before smacking my thigh. "Wake the fuck up, it's getting annoying now, shitface!" 

Oh, just you wait. 

I could hear my heart monitor beep just a little faster. By no more than two beats per minute more. 

Callum, I love you. 

She loves me? 

"I love you." She's talking now. "Callum, I love you," she repeated, exhaling shakily. "Please, wake up. Please, I love you." 

"Pull out the 'baby,'" Wyatt mumbled. 

Can he shut up? 

She chuckled softly. "Baby," she sang, brushing my hair back. I could feel it. Her touch. Her love. I can feel it in the room. I can feel it in our connection. I can literally feel our tether. "I love you, baby," she said. I could hear her smile. I felt a kiss on my cheek from her side. 

"Maybe I should do that too," Wyatt mumbled. 

"To Daisy?" she asked. 

"What? Huh? No! To him." 

No. Wyatt. I know you can read my mind you fucking shit. 

He laughed before starting to poke my cheek. 

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you! You hear me? 

He hummed. 

I hear you, man. 

He can hear me! My thoughts! 

"He's—" 

Don't tell her, don't tell her, don't tell her! 

He stopped, listening to my thoughts. 

I want to wake up and get her reaction, please. 

He pinched my arm. 

Then hurry up. She breaking, Callum. She has been since that night. 

He should go. 

I need a minute with her. 

"I'm kind of hungry, I'll bring some sandwiches. You want any?" 

"I'm good, thanks," she said, sounding very sad. She sighed as the door closed behind him and her grip on my hand tightened. 

Can she please get in bed with me? 

"We haven't done this in a while, huh?" She lifted the covers and then climbed under them, hugging me, her head resting on my arm. She still thinks my heart hurts since the bullet was there. She thought about that last time she visited. "Why aren't you waking up, Callum?" she sniffled. "It's getting too hard. I can't keep coming here like this, it breaks my heart." She slipped her hand under my shirt. The heart rate monitor beeped frantically. "Seriously? You can feel that but you can't wake up?" 

I kept trying to open my eyes. Please, God. Please. This one wish. I've never prayed to the devil, don't make me do it now. 

My eyes flickered open. I was most certainly blinded for a good minute. 

"I told you I loved you just now," she whined, her nails scratching my abdomen soothingly. It felt like heaven. "And you haven't even woken up to say it back. Say it back," she huffed. 

I smiled. 

She hasn't realized I'm finally awake yet. 

"I love you." 

She froze. Her hand on my stomach froze. Her breathing stopped. Everything about her stilled. She quickly looked up. "You're awake!" she grinned the widest I have ever seen her grin. Or maybe it's just been a while. "Oh, my god," she laughed, sitting up and taking my face in her hands, squeezing my cheeks, pushing and pulling them together. Making sure I was awake. Then she started crying again. 

"Oh, please!" I groaned. "You've been crying every day for the past two months! No more of that, please!" 

She sniffled, looking at me. 

"I'm so sorry, Callum, I—" 

"I heard you. Everything you've said these past two months, I heard you. Now, you hear me. I hate not being able to talk," I huffed. "It is not your fault. I don't ever want to hear you say that again. If you do, I'll... break up with you. For real." 

She frowned, crying again. 

"No, no, no, I won't do that! I'll uh... um... I won't share a bed with you for a month!" 

"A month?" she whined. 

"A week," I groaned. "It's not your fault. I thought it was my fault for getting you involved in the first place. But after having nothing to do but think about it... it's neither of our faults. I liked you and I chose to show you who I am. That put you in danger, but that isn't my fault. You asked to have a night out with the rest of the students and a psycho ended up trying to kill you. I saved you, just got a little scratched up in the process, but that's not your fault. Everything is Atticus and his friends' fault. And they all got what they deserved if I heard correctly." It took more energy than expected, but I lifted my hand and wiped her cheeks. 

"I'm so glad you're finally awake, you have no idea how miserable I've been," she sighed, clutching my hand to her chest. 

"Say that again, it sounded good, " I smiled. 

"What?" 

"That you love me." 

She grinned again. 

"I love you, Callum Nikolai." 

"Again." 

"I love you," she nodded, leaning closer. 

"Again." 

"I love you," she said softly. "Your turn." 

"I love you. I'm in love with you. I love you." 

"Again," she giggled. 

"I love you." 

"And again." 

"I love you," I whispered. 

"Can I kiss you or would that hurt too much?" she smirked. 

"Totally worth it. Please kiss me." 

She leaned in, smashing her lips on mine. Clara Desmond, in all the time I've known her, has never kissed me so hard. With such intensity, so desperately, so... hungrily. She even deepened it and used tongue first. 

"I think I like the new Clara," I mumbled against her lips. "Sorry. I think I love her," I smiled into the kiss. 

"Okay, stop now!" Wyatt called out before opening the door. We both mumbled curses, breaking the kiss. "Welcome back," he nodded at me, kneeing my lower back before sitting down. 

"Ah!" I winced, kicking his leg. 

He also winced, rubbing his leg, shaking his head at me. Clara lay back down, throwing an arm over me and her leg over both of mine. "Ai, look at you," Wyatt huffed, stopping in his tracks when he went to bite his sandwich. "I'll throw up. On you." 

"I know you kissed Daisy and act like this with her, okay? Shove it," I scoffed. 

"You told him?" he frowned at Clara. 

She shrugged, kissing my cheek repeatedly, keeping her lips pressed there. 

"I called a doctor by the way. For your check-up. So please, continue with the romance until then," he rolled his eyes and then turned the TV on, paying attention to that. 

Clara squealed in delight, peppering more kisses on my face. 

"Babe!" I groaned, pulling back to look at her. 

"Baby!" she said mockingly, smothering me with kisses, squealing again. She seems to be over the moon about me waking up. Why wouldn't she be? I know I would die without her, I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her. She giggled, cuddling with me. "I love you," she whispered against my cheek. 

"I love you," I mumbled, staring at Tom & Jerry on the screen. I turned to look at her. 

She giggled, even more, kissing my face. My cheeks, mainly. 

"Wow, if I would have known that being in a coma is going to make you fall madly in love, I would have done it earlier," I scoffed. 

She grinned, squealing yet again and burying her face in my neck, kissing there before biting softly. 

I chuckled, turning onto my side slightly to hug her back a little. "You haven't slept well, right?" I asked knowingly. 

"Hmm," she mumbled, already sleepy. Crazy how she was squealing a second ago now she's sleepy. 

"Go to sleep. I want you sleeping here with me right now." 

"But your tests," Wyatt huffed. 

"Can wait. We're taking a nap, come on," I nudged him with my leg. 

He rolled his eyes, "Fine. Just don't mind me. I'm still watching Tom & Jerry." 

I rolled my eyes while smiling, turning my attention back to her. 

He went to the couch, closing the curtain around my bed. I faced her completely now, my hand slipping under her shirt. 

"I missed you so much," she said, half-asleep. 

"I missed you too, baby," I chuckled. 

She smiled softly and moments later, her breathing evened out and she stilled. I pressed kisses to her cheek while she slept until I dozed off on my own. 

Thanks, God. I promise never to become a satanist. 

Being a darkling is enough. Being cursed to never find my soulmate is enough. But even then, finding her, loving her, saving her, keeping her, having her. It's always going to be more than enough. 

I am a darkling. And I am surrounded by darkness. But she's that one flicker light that makes you push through. She's all mine. My love. My hope. My dream. My everything. My tether. 

She's my soulmate. 

Clara Desmond. I love you.

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