The sky was still dark, but it was getting lighter to the east as I got ready for the mission. I hadn't spoken to anyone since me and Wanda's screaming match in the kitchen, and they hadn't made an effort either. I re-checked my bandages on my ribs, and began to dress myself. I hadn't gone on a mission in nearly nine months, and I just had the shit beat out of me. I wasn't in much of a condition to fight- good thing I was going for the only purpose of being the not-so-grand sacrifice if this all goes to hell.

I walked to the back of my closet and slid open the panel, revealing my suit. Similar to Natasha's, with a few differences. Mine was navy blue, and made of a more breathable material. It had steel wiring through the material for extra protection, and straps across the waist. The pants were the same colour, with thin pockets lining the outsides, similar to yoga pants' pockets. The material was still more heavy duty than yoga pants, but only a little bit heavier. I worked my way through the legs, slipping my feet out through the bottoms, and laced up my boots. They had a gel-infused bottom to absorb impact and extra ankle support on the sides. I put a high-impact sports bra on and slipped the top of the suit on. I strapped up the waist and braided my hair, resting it over my shoulder.

I checked the mirror. My face was unrecognizable compared to two years ago. Two years ago I wasn't hollow-looking, and my skin had colour. Two years ago I looked like a young girl who made mistakes, would get grounded and do it all again. Now I look like a girl who makes mistakes and her brother dies because of it. A girl who makes mistakes and gets beat half to death because of it. I look nothing like the girl I was two years ago, and I doubt I ever will again. I shrugged at my thoughts and left to the pilot room where the team agreed to meet.

"Took you long enough." Tony said, annoyed as I entered the room.

"Gosh Tony, I apologize if I'm not racing around the room out of excitement to be sacrificed as bait for a group of people who hate me. Next time I'll light a fire under my ass just for you." He simply glared in response.

"Enough. Let's get this over with and try to get home safely," Steve said firmly. He had his Captain America voice on.

"Except for me," I say laughing. "We don't want me coming home at all, let alone safely" I laugh. "Fuck my safety." I look around. And take in everyone's expressions, most of them are guarded. "Oh come on. If every one of you is cool with pretty much sending me to my death, you owe me the decency to laugh at my jokes for coping's sake. You all suck." I rolled my eyes and exited onto the jet platform.

I ignored the uncomfortable silence behind me and made my way to the jets opening, hiking up the steep ramp and sat down on one of the benches. I leaned my elbows on my knees and stared at the floor as the rest of the team filed in. Steve and Natasha sat the in pilot seats and started up the engine. I strapped myself in for takeoff and waited.

I hated flying. I felt sick. I moved my arms to grip the ledge of the bench by my thighs and held tight. As I felt the surge of the jet lifting into the air my stomach did a fucking gymnastics routine in my body, and my throat tightened. I gripped the seat tighter, to the point where my knuckles were white. After a few moments of sickening motions, the jet levelled out and moved more smoothly through the air, and it was safe to stand up. I immediately got up and reached for the med kit. I pulled out two small tranquilizer pills and popped them each into my mouth, swallowing them dry.

"Murderer turned slut turned junkie?" I hear a sokovian voice from across the jet. I look up, and try to ignore it, waiting for the pills to kick in.

"Not a junkie Wanda, just taking something to help tune out your hellish voice," I say tiredly. I don't have the stomach to deal with her right now. I headed back to my seat and leaned my head against the wall, plugged my earbuds in and tried to sleep. We had an 8 hour flight, even in the jet before we reached the base. I stared off into the distance as I let my mind relax, and it seemed to be working until I realized that I wasn't staring into the distance at all, but actually a pair of steel blue eyes, that were staring right back.

Most girls would get butterflies at making prolonged eye contact with this beautiful pair of eyes, but considering the man they belonged to, I was simply unsettled. I immediately looked away, my eyes resting on a groove in the floor, but I still felt his stare drilling into my face. I did my best to ignore him. I felt the tranquilizers kicking in soon enough, and was nearly asleep when I head chatter, something I never heard when I was in the room.

(Small TW- SH)

"De ce este ea chiar aici? ea doar va sta în cale sau va sacrifica pe altcineva pentru a-și salva propria piele." (why is she even here? she's only going to get in the way or sacrifice someone else to save her own skin.) It was Barnes, speaking to everyone. I suppose they thought I had fallen asleep.

"Nu cred că o va face. nu ai auzit-o după ce a fost atacată. Cred că dacă ar crede că în sfârșit o vom ierta, ar muri bucuroasă pentru oricare dintre noi. Ea ar putea muri de lovituri în acest moment, i-ai văzut coapsele aseară." (I don't think she will. You didn't hear her after she was attacked. I think that if she thought we would finally forgive her, she would gladly die for any of us. She might just die for kicks at this point, you saw her thighs the other night.) Natasha was the one to respond. Keeping my eyes closed, I reached into my lap and clicked the volume button on my phone, turning my music up. I tried to be as subtle as possible, I didn't want them knowing I was awake, but I didn't want to hear them speak about me either. I eventually slept, thanks to the meds, and I woke up only and hour and a half before we landed.

- Bucky's POV-

I saw her turn her volume up, and I know she heard part of my conversation with Natalia. I didn't trust her, but I didn't trust Wanda either. And Natalia was right, when we spoke the other night after her attack, she had accepted a beating for 30 minutes at least with hardly fighting back, and then told us to go back to bed and to not bother taking care her. She had a strange face, but it worked somehow. When she had zoned out while staring at me, I took it as an opportunity to examine her face.

I had only seen her a few times prior and they hadn't been relaxed conversations, so I finally got to see her resting face. Her eyes were dull. It was unsettling. Even that night when she had walked in her from her date, with her makeup and fake excitement, her eyes looked dull. Her skin, now makeup free was pale and her cheekbones her sharp. She had deep circled under her eyes and no colour in her cheeks. She looked nearly dead. Her split skin and bruised face made her look like a car crash victim, it was unsettling.

I tried to picture her lively and excited, but couldn't seem to get past her eyes. It was unnerving to have her stare at me, until her face twitched as she realized that we were looking at each other. She proceeded to stare at the floor instead until her eyes dropped shut and she appeared asleep. For seven hours I chatted quietly with Steve or Natalia, occasionally speaking with another team member, but ever so often she would twitch in her sleep, or mumble something, or whimper. It was almost sad to watch, but then I remember what she did. Or what Wanda says she did. It was hard to trust someone who spoke to her sister the way Wanda spoke to Y/n, but Steve and Natalia agreed with Wanda so the story must have been true.

When she woke from her sleep, she jolted forward and heaved air into her lungs. She pressed her hands to her throat and closed her eyes, her face twisting in negative emotions. I observed her actions carefully, making sure to keep signs of emotions out of my own face. She was being choked in her sleep? The whole team but Steve and Natalia watched her uncomfortably as she came to.

"Do you want a oxygen ma-" Bruce began to offer.

"No, thank you I'm okay. Just nervous." He nodded quietly slightly at her response.

"Nervous about what?" She stared at him for a moment before letting out a half-hearted laugh.

"Um well for starters, I haven't fought anyone in almost a year, the last time I did my brother died, and now I'm being sent into a bloody snake pit as a sacrificial lamb in hopes of seeing another day, but then again I'm also nervous that I do survive and I have to deal with my own sister hating me even more for simply being alive. You want me to write all that down?" She laughed again and re-braided her hair as the rest of us stared uncomfortably.

"Prepare for landing ladies and gentlemen, into the snake pit we go," Natalia said over the small intercom system, and I swore I saw a genuine smile of Y/n's face at the snake pit comment.