I was curled up on Ethan's couch, anxiously biting my nails. How could I have been so stupid? I should have never assumed I would be safe anywhere, and now I've put Ethan and his family in danger. I couldn't do anything right, I was a liability. They always told me I should just put myself down, you know, be a martyr and sacrifice myself for the good of those around me. It was me they were after anyway, not anyone else, but they'd kill anyone just to get to me. And then when they find me, they'll murder me slowly and painfully, just so they could be sure I was suffering in the worst way possible. What more do they want from me? I did everything they asked, I spit out my pills today just like they told me to, why are they so mad?

"What are you thinking about?" Ethan asked from next to me, leaning forward, his attention diverted from the movie we had playing in the background.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I don't know," I murmured, my thoughts scattered just like the words that spilled from my mouth. Ethan looked completely lost, and utterly hopeless. He had a strange expression on his face, the kind where you try so hard to succeed, believing you truly could- until you couldn't. A look of defeat.

"Why don't we get some water and head to bed, alright? You must be really tired," he detangled himself from the blanket and stood, offering me a hand. I grabbed it and he helped me stand, and we walked hand in hand to the kitchen. He let go to leave me standing in the middle of the room, and I watched his back as he puttered over and reached up to the overhead cabinets.

"Here's your glass, Ivan," he said, holding it out to me. I shuffled forward to grab it so he could get his own glass, and turned so I could fill it with water from the fridge. I halted quickly as something caught my eye- a figure peering in through the kitchen window.

It was him. He's here.

I felt the glass leave my hand and smash onto the floor with a horrifying crash, but the voices in my ear and Ethan's panicked tone were like buzzing flies around my head.

Frozen in fear had never made so much sense to me as I looked at the figure looming against the side of the house, stalking it's prey. That man. The one who has been looking for me this entire time. I had been found.

He had no face, was around seven feet tall and wore a black suit with a wide brimmed hat. Everything was darker than the surrounding night, he was like a void in the fabric of reality. Darker than something nature could even conjure. The energy and emotions radiating from him were enough to paralyze me, and he didn't need eyes for me to know he was looking right at me. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. He was going to tear everyone apart and drag me to a place worse than hell itself.

"Is everyone all right?" I heard Ethan's mom say quickly in concern somewhere behind me.

"Mom, call Mrs. Clarissa. Something is seriously wrong," Ethan hurried out, and I finally registered him trying to pry me away from the window. I blinked rapidly a few times, and the man seemed to grow blurry and dematerialize into the surrounding night within a second. This was the end.

"Ethan, Ethan," I turned to him, tears streaming down my cheeks. He sat me down in one of the kitchen chairs, and I pulled the fabric of his thin white t-shirt into my fists. "I need to go. He's not here for you, he's here for me. You need to let me go, you need to save yourself," I pleaded, and Ethan just looked at me completely horrified, shaking his head as his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

He needed to listen to me- why was he not listening!

"You're safe here, Ivan. Just stay right here," he pulled a chair in front of me and sat down, cradling my head against his chest.

"She's on her way," said a voice, but I was so worried about making sure Ethan was safe, I didn't concern myself over trying to figure out who it belonged to. Was it real or in my head? "I'm going to clean up this glass. Stay over there, I don't want either of you to hurt yourself."

"I need to go," I reiterated impatiently, trying to pull away from Ethan.

"Ivan, I know you're scared, but I need you to trust me that you're okay. You trust me, right?" He sniffed, and I looked up to realize he was crying. I did that to him. I had never been so disgusted with myself.

Ethan's mom was dumping the glass shards in the waste bin when a loud rapping on the front door made me jump. Ethan just hushed me, as his mom ran over to open the door. Mrs. Clarissa was there with Benji and Mary, leaving them behind at the threshold to rush over to me. Ethan immediately stood and offered her his chair, to which she thanked him and sat down.

"Ivan, can you concentrate on my voice well?" She spoke loudly and clearly, making her own voice stand out amongst the others. She held onto my arm, squeezing it whenever she needed me to focus.

"They're all talking at once," I cry, angrily rubbing at my temples.

"I know sweetheart. You must be so scared. Why don't we go somewhere safe, where we can help you find some peace?"

"I don't trust them. I can't," I protest.

"Yes you can, because you trust me and I'll be there. You trust Ethan, and he can come along. Would that be okay? You'll feel better, I promise," Mrs. Clarissa negotiated. I nodded warily, and the woman who I was beginning to see as my mother stood, still keeping her hand on my arm. Maybe it was the cancer that finally made me realize that I thought of her as a mother I never wanted to let go; or maybe I was so fearful in this moment that I'd latch onto anyone just to have a comforting presence by my side.

"Ethan hun, can you go grab his shoes, please?" She asked sweetly, a strange juxtaposition to the current tense atmosphere that sat heavily in the room.

"Of course."

"Mrs. Matthews, I am so sorry about the mess, dear. Could I ask you to watch Benji and Mary, just for tonight? They're ready to go to bed, so I hope it won't trouble you too much."

"Absolutely. Don't worry about a thing, I'm only concerned with making sure Ivan is okay," Mercedes nodded quickly.

Ethan came over and knelt onto the floor to put my converse on, kissing my knee when he was done.

"Are you coming with us, Ethan?" Mrs. Clarissa asked, standing me up. I felt like a useless spectator, only able to watch what was happening around me and be manipulated by others.

"Yes. I'm not leaving him," Ethan stated with determination.

Mrs. Clarissa smiled. "Alright. I'm going to hand him off to you, then. You two can sit in the back."

I felt Ethan wrap an arm around my waist, following behind Mrs. Clarissa to her silver SUV parked in the driveway. After helping me scoot into the back, Ethan climbed in after me and immediately wrapped the blanket that was on the seat around me. The voices were just whispering to each other now, and I leaned my head against Ethan's shoulder. I was so tired, but the intense paranoia kept me up, my eyes wide and darting around outside warily.

"Ivan, can you tell me what happened? Did you see something that scared you?" Mrs. Clarissa asked from the front as I felt the car move.

"That man was in the window. He just came out of nowhere," I muttered, shivering as the image of him burned into my mind.

"Is he the really tall one? The one without a face?"

I hummed in acknowledgment. "Are we going to the hospital?" I leaned forward in my seat, which made Ethan grab my shoulders and pull me back. Mrs. Clarissa eyed me in the rearview mirror.

"Yes, love. We are," she confirmed.

I groaned, resting my forehead against the back of the seat in front of me. They're just going to shove me around and watch me, they wouldn't be able to do anything to keep me safe. I was so conflicted, I trusted Mrs. Clarissa, and I trusted Ethan, so why were they doing this to me?

"Is-is he going to have a seizure? His hands are shaking really bad. . ." Ethan's chest rumbled as he spoke, and I felt his thumb moving across the knuckles on my right hand. I was so close to falling asleep, but the voices were still so loud and obnoxious. I just wanted to cry and scream in frustration.

"It's probably withdrawal. I have a suspicion that he wasn't actually taking his medication this entire week," she sighed. "He hid it so well. I should've known, kept a better watch for symptoms. It just kills me to see my kids go through things like this," she sniffed, wiping her eye.

"It's not your fault, Mrs. Clarissa. You already do so much for them, and you're dealing with a lot right now," Ethan replied.

"That's real kind of you to say, Ethan," she said, giving us a watery smile. The car was silent after that, Ethan kept busy comforting me with gentle pets and encouraging words. After driving for a little while longer, Mrs. Clarissa turned the car off and spun around in her seat to look back at us.

"Let's get him checked in, I hope there isn't a long wait," she slid out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Come on baby," Ethan said as he fiddled with my seatbelt, Mrs. Clarissa coming around to open the side door. I knew I wasn't cooperating very well, judging by how much Ethan had to adjust his grip on me to hold more of my weight. I couldn't help but look around anxiously for that man. Not even a car could outrun him.

When we walked through the hospital entrance, Ethan guided me straight to a chair against the wall, sitting me down and keeping a firm grip on my arm. I chewed on my nail, bouncing my leg nervously and trying to figure out the best way to rip out of his hold and escape. Mrs. Clarissa came back with a clipboard, taking one look at me before sitting down quickly on the other side of me.

"Let me go," I turned angrily to Ethan, pulling on my arm for emphasis.

"Ivan, it's okay. We're just trying to help you," he tried to console. "How long of a wait do we have?" He leaned around me to look at Mrs. Clarissa, who was scribbling down as much as she could on the paperwork.

"I think around half an hour she said. Ivan, do you remember how to ground to yourself? Can you feel your feet on the floor? Name five things that are green?" She tried to meet my gaze.

Go. Run.

Save them.

You have to get out of here.

You can't let them get to you.

They're coming for you.

"How are we supposed to sit here for half an hour when he-" Ethan started in exasperation, but I wrenched my arm out of his grasp and tried to sprint to the exit. I had tunnel vision on that door, I could hear yelling, but had no idea who or where it was coming from. All I knew was that I needed to get out of here before they found me, and if that required running around in the dark barefoot and in pajamas, then so be it. I almost made it when my momentum was suddenly halted, my arms being pinned to my sides by someone.

"No, no, no, please let me go! I need to leave!" I pleaded with whoever was listening, using every ounce of energy I had left to squirm my way out of their grasp. A short nurse in baby blue scrubs strode up to me, smiling brightly and looking me in the eye. Her dark hair was in a high ponytail, and her tan skin seemed to glow under the fluorescent lighting.

"Hi there honey, I know you're really upset to be here and I totally understand that. I want to hear your concerns, so what do you say we go somewhere quiet to talk?" She said sweetly, and I couldn't help but feel calm around her. I started to settle down a bit, but I was still very unsure of it all, glancing nervously over at Mrs. Clarissa and Ethan, who were standing off to the side looking on intensely.

"Your family will be right there with you. They would never let anyone hurt you, right?" She looked over to them, as they nodded confidently and she looked back at me. "And you have my promise that I won't let anything hurt you either. Okay?"

I looked down and nodded. "I would prefer for you to be able to walk yourself, and I know you would too, but you can't be running off. Can I trust you with that?"

"Yeah. . ." I muttered, and I heard her tell the large person holding me to let me go, but he still stood close behind me as we started to walk further into the hospital.

"Well, that's one way to get to the front of the line," I heard Ethan mutter from next to me.

~

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