"Hey," Ethan grinned as I swung into his car, placing my backpack at my feet. He had some music softly playing as he usually did every morning.

"Next," I said, trying to stifle a smile. Ethan gasped dramatically, feigning hurt.

"You don't like Grateful Dead?" He switched to the next song, a small smile playing on his lips. "Good call, I don't either really."

I laughed, "then why'd you play it?"

Ethan huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Because Ivy, if I were to only expose you to my superior taste in music, you would be heavily biased and that's bad science."

Ever since our first meeting over the summer, Ethan has been determined to figure out what kind of music I liked. Whenever we would spend time together, he made sure to play some music for me to judge. I even started to listen to music on my own time, and it was surprisingly effective at drowning out the voices I would constantly hear on an especially bad day.

As I pulled on my seatbelt and Ethan began to drive, I noticed something in his backseat. It was a poster, the words 'Chloe, you light up my world. Homecoming?' were written in large black letters, Chloe's name covered in golden glitter. Little stars were sprinkled all over the white paper. My brain short circuited a bit as I stared at the poster, my eyes then drifted to the red roses propped up in the car door.

"You're- you're asking someone to homecoming?" I stuttered. My heart started to beat into overdrive, a bitter taste in my mouth like I had chewed on a battery.

Ethan glanced at me, eyes narrowing at my face before focusing back on the road. "Yeah, Chloe Breckett, I met her in my English class. I don't know, she's really nice and her boyfriend dumped her right before homecoming, messed up right? So I just thought I'd take her so she wouldn't have to go alone."

I swallowed, my mouth becoming dry. I don't know what I was expecting. I wasn't planning on going to homecoming, and I wasn't exactly anticipating for Ethan to ask me, but a part of me was still painfully disappointed. My jaw clenched as I swallowed thickly.

"Wow. . . um, that's really nice of you," I attempted to keep the waver out of my voice, but I cringed internally at how pathetic and insincere it still sounded.

Ethan shrugged, resting his elbow on the door. "Doesn't the poster look nice? The girls helped me with it, and by helped I mean they pretty much did everything. I think the phrase is a bit cheesy, but what can you do?" He chuckled, completely unbothered.

"Right. . ." I mumbled, leaning my head against the passenger window.

~

"Sup loser," Vera grinned, sliding into the seat next to me. I raised my eyebrow at her, and shook my head.

"Why are you dressed like a fifty year old man?" I huffed.

"Oh you like it? It's my dad's old band shirt, it looks like ass and smells even worse, but it's edgy as hell, isn't it?" She grinned, tugging the hem down to stretch out the material.

I looked down at the black shirt, the words 'Pig Decapitation' were printed on the front in a blood red dripping font. "Definitely looks terrifying, isn't it a little cold out for t-shirts? It's almost October."

"That's what flannels are for!" Vera chirped, producing a crumpled up red flannel from her backpack that reeked of stale marijuana. Since becoming closer to Vera, I've discovered she's the biggest stoner in school, so this didn't come as much of a surprise.

"So, I saw Ethan drop you off this morning," she said while wiggling her eyebrows. I looked at her strangely, "you were at school early enough to see Ethan pull up?" I smirked.

She playfully shoved me, giving me a look that begged me for details. "He drives me to and from school everyday, he's done that since the beginning of the year."

"And you guys are still 'just friends'? Jesus what's the hold up?" She exclaimed incredulously. I sighed, crossing my arms on top of my desk. The poster kept resurfacing in my mind, the golden glitter and words asking Chloe Breckett to homecoming were burned into my mind, materializing behind my eyelids every time I blinked. It shouldn't bother me, he was just trying to be nice, right? Although, he did say he was into guys and girls...

"The hold up is he's asking a girl to homecoming," I grumbled.

Vera's head whipped in my direction, her eyes swam with so many questions that I craved the answer for as well. "He's what?" She hissed.

"I- I don't know. . . her boyfriend just broke up with her and he's trying to be a good friend. I really don't want to talk about it," I whispered, begging for the lesson to finally begin so I can focus on something else. I could feel Vera's sad eyes on the side of my face, no doubt sensing that I was trying not to seem crushed. "Hey," she said gently, touching my shoulder. "Let's go together then!"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "Vera, you don't have to do that. Go with someone you can have a good time with."

"And I can't have a good time with you?"

The teacher began to speak, but Vera continued to try to coax conversation from me. I pointedly put my finger to my lips, gesturing aggressively at the teacher, to which she gave me a dead expression, but relented and got to work taking notes.

~

I watched as Ethan stood at the bottom of the staircase to the cafeteria, poster and bouquet of roses in hand as Chloe raced down the stairs, rushing to give him a hug as the crowd of onlookers clapped and yelled. I looked away, feeling a little sick. Vera watched me in pity as I picked at my food, only to feel disgusted by it shortly after and dumping the tray into the trash. The indiscernible chatter in my ears was becoming unbearable with the level of noise in the cafeteria, and I subtly covered my ears with my hands, trying to feign a headache. It didn't help the voices in my head stop, but at least the noise level was more bearable.

I felt Vera firmly grab my wrist, hauling me up and walking me out of the cafeteria into the hallway. She dropped my backpack onto the floor as I leaned up against the wall. I slowly crumpled down onto the floor with my head in my hands, of course Ethan would choose her. How could a guy like me compete with a girl like that?

"Oh, Ivan. It's going to be alright," she soothed. I lifted my head slightly to glance at her, starting to laugh as I felt tears well up in my eyes. She looked concerned as I continued to laugh, but I couldn't believe it, I think I was experiencing. . . heartbreak.

"I can't believe it!" I gave her a watery smile, still laughing a little. "I'm crying over a boy. A boy."

Vera smiled a little, crouching in front of me. "Yeah, looks like it. Welcome to teenage angst Ivan, where we cry over stupid boys and stupid girls who don't treat us right."

I sighed, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie and starting to get myself together. "But he does treat me right, and I think that's what sucks the most." I gave her a worried look, "do you think he's given up on me? Because I took too long to sort my shit out? And now that I've finally come around he's lost interest?"

"I don't know, Ivan. Which is why we are going to homecoming together, and we're going to have a good time damn it!" Vera stood, offering me a hand and pulling me up off the floor. She slung an arm around my shoulders. "You have a tux right?"

I looked at her incredulously. She waved her hand dismissively, "of course you don't, what am I saying? You barely come to school with your hair combed. Well you better get on it! Homecoming is next weekend and I've got my dress, so whether you have a tux or not we're going!"

I stared straight ahead as we walked down the hallway, huffing as Vera kept rambling, not like I was paying attention.

"Ivan!" I heard a familiar voice call to me, heavy footsteps rushing up next to me, and suddenly my right side just got a lot warmer. "Oh, hey Vera. You weren't at the table? Where'd you guys go?" Ethan asked, that hundred watt smile on his face like it always is. Vera still had her arm around my shoulders, giving Ethan a cold glare.

"I see your homecoming proposal went well? Chloe huh? She's cute," Vera stuck her nose in the air, and Ethan had a very uncomfortable look on his face, and honestly, it felt good to see him sweat a bit.

I shrugged off her arm, telling her to get to class. She gave me a warm smile, wrapping her arms around me even though she was rigid as a pole, and I could almost sense the nasty look she was shooting Ethan over my shoulder.

"So you're going to homecoming too, right?" Ethan said as he watched the fiery girl disappear down the hallway, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah," I said confidently, eyes trained on my scuffed converse. "I'm going with Vera."

"That's great! You should join our group, we would love to have you and everyone's really nice."

To you maybe, I thought, but I simply told him I'd have to ask Vera about it. We walked to the locker rooms together, as we often did, and Ethan continued to search for something to say. "Ivan, you know Chloe and I are just going as friends, right?" He brought up sheepishly, thick eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"That's fine Ethan, you don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Yeah, well, I know. . . but you're my best friend and it seemed like a good idea, and now it feels kind of sleazy for some reason and I don't know-"

"Ethan!" I interrupted, turning towards him.

He stood directly in front of me with a deer in the headlights look, his hands squeezing the straps of his black backpack. "What?" He mumbled, not even registering the fact that he's in my locker block, across the room from where he's supposed to be right now.

"I have to change, and it's a little weird when you're standing right in front of me," I laughed. The same boy who nearly made me breakdown in the hallway was now bringing the light back into my life, but that's just one of the mysterious ways in which Ethan operates. With a sly smile, and a light blush dusting his cheeks, he backed up slowly, giving me a nod and retreating back to his space.

~

"I had to practically carry him to the nurse, I actually think he has a concussion, he almost puked on my shoes!" Ethan exclaimed as he recalled the event that had occurred in gym class earlier today. Some kid got dog piled in flag football, smacking his head hard against the gym floor, the sickening sound echoed throughout the gym, and Ethan was the designated babysitter to make sure he didn't pass out on his way to the nurse. I was content just hearing him talk nonsense, it was the end of the day and we were making the trek across the parking lot to his car.

"That's what you tryhards get," I grinned.

"How come you got to sit out?" Ethan pouted, twirling his key ring around his pointer finger. I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "I got a shot yesterday, sometimes they make me dizzy."

"You're still getting shots? Jesus what are you, eight?" Ethan scoffed, and I playfully shoved him, but he dropped the subject once we both noticed the teenagers surrounding his car.

"Ethan!" A short blonde girl suddenly shrieked, running over to him and reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. I stood there awkwardly, especially when all the eyes suddenly narrowed in on me. A baritone masculine voice was repeating 'hello, hello, hello,' as if he was actually acknowledging each individual within the group that stood in front of me. Although, with the number of times he was saying hello, you'd think fifty people were surrounding Ethan's car. I could feel my face become strained, forced to focus especially hard to tune out the voice and pretend I was not having a mental battle with a hallucination.

"Hey, Chloe," Ethan cleared his throat uncomfortably, craning his face away as he tried to gently unwind her arms from around his neck. "Uh, guys, this is my friend Ivan." I gave them a tight lipped smile and a small wave.

Hello, hello, hello!

"Hel-" I shook my head slightly as my resolve began to slowly chip away. "Hi."

"Oh! I think I've seen you around the halls," Chloe chirped, and the blond guy from our gym class, Chase if I remember, cringed and shook his head.

"Yeah, I think I've seen you around," I replied politely, although I was mentally banging my head against a wall. I still appreciated her kindness, and asked her about her dress. Vera said lots of girls liked when people asked them about their dress or plans.

"Oh you did it now, dude," Chase snickered, as Chloe described in great, almost painful, detail of her purple ball gown with tulle and glitter, but not so much glitter that it could give you a seizure, you know what I mean? But enough so it caught the light just right and-

Hello, hello, hello- hello? Hello?

Dear God.

"Hi, I'm Emma. Are you the one joining us?" Another girl came up behind Chloe, she had vibrant red hair, a subtle splash of freckles across her cheeks and a real motherly smile. Her presence was so comforting, I instantly found the tension in my shoulders begin to unwind.

"Uh, yeah, and my friend Vera," I said, remembering how Vera practically blew up my phone in agreeance to joining Ethan's group a few hours prior.

"Oh! Is she your date?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah, she is."

"How'd you ask her?"

"Well. . . she kind of asked me."

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? That's so cool! Good for her honestly, boys asking girls is outdated anyways."

"Okay, well I'm taking Ivan home, we can talk more about this later," Ethan rushed out, shrugging off his backpack and putting it in his back seat.

"It was so good to meet you Ivan! See you tomorrow!" Chloe and Emma waved, Chase giving me a terse nod of acknowledgement, staying true to jock fashion.

"They seem nice," I commented as I slid into Ethan's car.

"Yeah, they are," Ethan replied shortly, as though the subject of his supposed group of friends was rather fragile. "You want to hangout? We would have to actually do homework though."

"I'm not the one you have to worry about, you're the one that gets off track," I teased.

"Very true. So, is that a yes?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes, and how could I say no to that? I nodded, sending a quick text to Mrs. Clarissa to let her know where I was at. Usually I get a longer leash since I'm older, but after yesterday's scare, it's probably best to let her know.

~

I glanced up at Ethan, who was currently pacing around his room, dark eyebrows furrowed and biting on the chewed up end of a pen. I watched him for a while, my eyes moving back and forth like a pendulum while following his movements, and every time he paused suddenly and I think he's going to say something, he just continues. I focus back on my biology homework, and the second I'm finally able to ignore Ethan, he speaks up.

"So my mom told me about Mary," he rushed out.

I should've known this would come up. With a sigh, I close my textbook and turn my attention to the boy standing at the foot of the bed, eyes trained on the ground. "She didn't say anything bad, you know, just wanted me to be aware, make sure that if I was ever alone while the girls were over and Mary had a tough time that I wasn't ignorant."

I nodded slowly, choosing my words carefully, "sounds reasonable to me."

"I just. . . I've never heard of anything like that before? I mean, you live with her, what's it like?"

"Honestly, it's not any different than having a typical little sister. Sometimes she acts up like little kids do, but when Mary acts up it can get pretty explosive, often violent. She was abused pretty badly."

Ethan nodded in understanding and watched me very intently, which freaked me out a bit, but his curiosity seemed genuine. "Damn. Your mom is so amazing to take her in."

My breath hitched at him calling Mrs. Clarissa my "mom", but I didn't bother to correct him either. Ethan then sat on the bed next to me, his demeanor growing very solemn. "Were- were you abused?" He asked gently, his green eyes boring straight into my own.

I stared at him in shock, unable to even form words from how uncomfortable I was with this kind of attention. Ethan looked at me in horror, thinking he may have struck a nerve, but I shook my head and eventually answered.

"Um, well I was really young, I honestly don't remember."

"I'm sorry, that was so out of line for me to ask," Ethan started to scoot away and averted his eyes shamefully.

"No! It's fine," I reached out to him, my hand landing in his knee. We locked eyes for a moment, and once I finally realized where my hand was, I pulled it away into my lap. "W-why were you wondering?"

"Well, you know I was doing a lot of thinking about what I wanted to do with my life after high school, and I'm really interested in psychiatry. I want to help people and- I don't know, it's just fascinating to me, especially when it helps me understand why I'm such an idiot."

There was a short pause, before we both broke and burst into hysterical laughter. I put my head in my hands as Ethan bent over and held his middle. He wiped his eye, shaking his head as his laughter began to die down.

"That was the most I've ever seen you laugh, it's a good look on you," he spoke dreamily, before gathering up his homework that had flown astray in our bout of laughter, refocusing his attention on his textbook. I continued to look at him, how his fringe fell into his eyes a bit, his sharp jawline and strong nose. I thought about how he cares so much for everyone, how good it makes me feel to be around him, and at that point I knew- I had the biggest crush on Ethan Matthews.

~

I sense some competition on the horizon. What are we thinking about this new development? Leave a vote if you wish, I really appreciate it! :)