Jane pov...

I have been away for two months now. It's been a slow trip travelling through different states and looking at different things. It's sad to do it all by myself but I take lots of photos so that when Ma or someone gets my phone they can see all the fun things I have been doing. I have just arrived it Texas, it's been a slow journey between going to tourist attractions, exploring, relaxing and the fact I can only drive for a small amount of time before I get too tired and sore from doing the same thing.

I know I don't have long left as I am so tired and my body hurts. My appetite has dropped and I no longer feel like eating much which is what I was told was one of the signs that I'm almost at then end. I'm tired and in a pain a lot so I know things are about to get harder. I find a place to stay for the night and get a smoothie to drink before I go to sleep. I wake up and look at my phone, I have messages from Ma, Maura and Dr Kimpton. I look at respond to Ma and Maura first, it's mostly just good morning, where I am and what I have been doing. Ma, Frankie, Frost, Korsak and Maura have been taking turns with messaging me, I normally have a text from one of them a day. I found it easier to stay in contact this way. They were surprised to find out that I left to go on holiday but I explained to them about wanting to explore, have time to learn how to be me again and get away from everything that happened. They weren't happy I didn't say goodbye but made me promise to keep in contact. I message at least one of them each day and call when I feel like talking and hearing their voices.

I see the message from Dr Kimpton asking how I am going. I update him with everything and he calls not long after. We talk for a little bit before he suggests I go to a hospice care facility. He knows a facility here in Texas not far from where I am, it will make things easier as their will be someone to care for me when I need it as I won't be able to do it on my own. I think about it and accept the offer as it's what is best. I thank him and he will sort everything while I make my way there.

I get to the facility and am shown around before going to my room. I set my stuff up before a doctor comes he she tells me that she has seen my file and spoken to Dr Kimpton, they are here to help with anything I need. As I get closer to the end they can put me and a fluid drip to help when I can't eat and they can sort out medications to help manage the pain or any symptoms I get.

It's hard to think I will die here but this is the best thing for me to be comfortable for the time being. It's a nice facility with a few things to do and outside garden to walk around in. I get settled in and start to meet a few on the people here.

I spend my days watching tv, listening to music, walking in the garden, talking to others or lying in bed. Some days I feel better than others, on a bad day I struggle to do much and barely get out of bed as I am so tired. I'm not in any pain as the medication they have me on helps with that. I keep talking to the other back home but I have stopped talking to them everyday and now it's every few days, they know I'm in Texas but not exactly where I am.