《Offline ✉ zauren》[5]
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but how do i know you're not an 38 or even a 50 years old man catfishing me
lauren
for god's sake i was just kidding i promise
i need a proof
z and this proof can be...?
a pictute.
a picture? ;)
i meant like a selfie you pervert
zaynjmalik has sent laurenj96 a photo. ()
mother of god
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- In Serial250 Chapters
Records Of Rebirth
Aurelia Ross was a normal girl who had it all planned. Her mottos were simple – stay out of trouble, get into university, take care of your siblings. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
8 828 - End1023 Chapters
Godfather Of Champions
This is a story about the pursuit of victory.— «I subscribe only to the theory of victory. I only pursue victory. As long as I am able to obtain victory, I don’t care if it’s total football or counterattack. What is the ultimate goal of professional soccer? In my opinion, it is victory, and the pinnacle of victory is to become the champions. I am a manager. If I don’t wish to lose my job or be forgotten by the people, there’s only one path for me to take, and that is to lead the team in obtaining victories, in obtaining championship titles!»The main character was not well-liked by people.— «⋯We conducted a survey which had been deemed by Manager Tony Twain as extremely meaningless. In a random street survey conducted, ninety-three percent of those surveyed chose the option ‘I hate Tony Twain’, while only seven percent chose the option ‘This person is rather decent, I like him’. It is worth noting that nobody chose the option ‘Who is Tony Twain? I don’t know him’. Mark, do you know why Manager Twain felt that our survey was very meaningless?» Parker, a reporter from laughed loudly and said when he was being interviewed by BBC.But there were also people who were madly in love with him.— When Tony Twain was forced to talk about the survey conducted by during an interview, his reply was : «I am happy, because Nottingham Forest’s fans make up seven percent of England’s population.»And he did not seem to care about how the others saw him.— «What are you all trying to make me say? Admit that I am not popular, and everywhere I go will be filled with jeers and middle fingers. You all think I will be afraid? Wrong! Because I am able to bring victory to my team and its supporters. I don’t care how many people hate me and can’t wait to kill me, and I also won’t change myself to accommodate the mood of these losers. You want to improve your mood? Very simple, come and defeat me.»His love story had garnered widespread attention.— «Our reporters took these pictures at Manager Tony Twain’s doorsteps. It clearly shows that Shania entered his house at 8.34pm and she did not leave the house throughout the night at all. But Manager Tony Twain firmly denies, and insists that that was merely the newest-model inflatable doll which he had ordered.He was the number one star of the team.— «⋯ Became the spokesperson of world-wide famous clothing brands, shot advertisements, frequented the fashion industry’s award ceremonies, endorsed electronic games, has a supermodel girlfriend. His earnings from advertisements exceed his club salary by seventeen times, owns a special column in various print medias, publishing his autobiography (in progress), and is even said that he is planning to shoot an inspirational film based off his own person experiences! Who can tell me which part of his life experiences is worthy of being called ‘inspirational’? Hold on⋯. Are you all thinking that I’m referring to David Beckham? You’re sorely mistaken! I’m talking about Manager Tony Twain⋯.»He was very knowledgeable about Chinese soccer.— «⋯ I’ve heard about it, that Bora gifted four books to his manager Mr. Zhu before your country’s national team’s warm up match. After which, the team lost 1:3 to a nameless American team from Major League Soccer. The new excuse that Mr. Zhu gave for losing the match, was that Bora gifted «books» (‘books’ and ‘lose’ are homophones in the Chinese language). Here, I recommend that you guys find out what that one specific book is. Which book? Of course the one that caused you all to score a goal. After that, tell me the title of the book. Before every match, I will gift ten copies of that same book to you. In that case, won’t you all be able to get a triumphant 10:0 win over your opponents every time?» An excerpt taken from Tony Twain’s special column in a certain famous Chinese sports newspaper.He was loved and hated by the press.— «He has a special column in at least four renowned print media, and he is able to get a considerable amount of remuneration just by scolding people or writing a few hundred words of nonsense weekly. While we have to contemplate hard about our drafts for three days before our boss is pleased with it. In an article inside his special column, he scolded and called all of the media ‘son of a bitch’, announcing that he hated the media the most. But every time he publishes an article, we flock towards him like flies which had spotted butter. Why? Because the readers like to read his news and see him scold people. I dare to bet with you, and Manager Tony Twain knows clearly in his heart as well, that even though he says that he hates us, he knows that the present him cannot do without us. Similarly, we also cannot do without him. Is this ultimately considered a good or a bad thing?» Bruce Pearce, a reporter from said with a face of helplessness when talking about Tony Twain.But no matter the case, his players were his most loyal believers.— Gareth Bale, «No no, we never had any pressure when playing on our home grounds. Because the pressure is all on the manager. As long as we see him standing by the side of the field, all of us will feel that we will be able to win that match. Even the football hooligans are like meek lambs in front of him!» (After saying this, he began to laugh out loudly)The reply from George Wood, the team captain of Nottingham Forest, was the most straightforward. «We follow him because he can bring us victory.»The legendary experience of Tony Twain, the richest, most successful, most controversial manager with the most unique personality!Debuting this summer.Thank you for reading.
8 340 - In Serial32 Chapters
Poisoned Chalice
Uploading schedule changed to Wednesdays and Sundays! 15-year old Ziyan needs to get the hell into heaven. A yaoguai devoured her fellow villagers and cursed their souls. She can reincarnate them only if she's a goddess. But the snooty gods, with their coveted powers, don't allow just anyone to join them.To save her people Ziyan enters the Baishi Competition, where she and a sky-full of cutthroat mortals must contend for the few slots of godhood.But victory won't come easy. First, she needs to convince (seduce) the warrior god Huayu into training her. Then she needs to rack up the kills by hunting yaoguai to prove her worth. Winning would grant Ziyan the reincarnating abilities of a goddess. If she fails, her villagers will fry in hell's oil vats forever. Ziyan is determined to succeed, until she learns yaoguai are just pawns doing the gods' dirty work. Faced with the true killers of her people (and armed with badass fighting skills), Ziyan asks herself, does she want to save only her villagers or can she overthrow this pantheon of assholes and rescue all those living under the yokes of gods? The thing is, when it's your destiny, it's your destiny. POISONED CHALICE is a YA xianxia fantasy based on Chinese mythology and Taoist deities. It contains elements of romance, adventure, and political intrigue.
8 414 - In Serial21 Chapters
We Can Run, Or We Can Die [Frerard]
It's 2018 and people think that the apocalypse has ended. Where cities, homes, businesses and humble towns once stood, now there lies only death, only destruction, only emptiness. Only the moans and the shuffles of the living dead. But in reality, it's only just begun.And for two lonely boys, once separated from each other by dead-town states and not even aware of each other's existence, it's far from being over.It's not about saving the world. It's about saving themselves.----------------------------------
8 280 - In Serial106 Chapters
Burnouts
Trust fund babies and the less fortunate coexisting through the turmoil of relationships, friends, drugs, and sex ... basically the normal 1990s teen antics.
8 168 - In Serial19 Chapters
I can't seem to let you go (A story I thought was Style but isn't)
Stan and Kyle had been together since 8th grade, but now as they make it to their junior year, Kyle can't help but notice something off about Stan. This is taken directly off of my AO3(Title is from a song called 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles)
8 158
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