i saw the phone ring. it echoed throughout my room. i groaned. it woke me up from a nap, one i was enjoying.

i threw my arm over my mountain of pillow and struggled to grab my phone off the side table. eventually, i touched it, only to accidentally knock it onto the floor. i groaned loudly and forcefully sat up.

i scramble to the other side of my bed and reached down to grab my phone, picking it up. i brought it up to my face and read the contact name.

'zion the bitchass cheater'

i rolled my eyes and pressed hang up. satisfied with my choice. served him well, the literal least i could do after he cheated on me.

it may seem like all that hate just flooded back in once it was coming out, but, that nightmare i had, snapped me back into reality. he cheated on me. you don't forgive and forget for that.

i hear a faint knock on the door and i internally scream. why is everyone trying to ruin my fucking day?!

i throw myself out of bed and walk over to the door, opening it to reveal the exact person i was just in the middle of loathing.

"What do you want, Kuwonu? you can't keep rolling up to my place and assaulting me." i say rolling my eyes and running a hand through my hair.

i grabs my hips and forces a kiss onto my lips. suddenly, i didn't want to care about what the hell the media would think and what my friends would think.

i kissed him back.

i wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. then, we parted and our foreheads lightly pressed against each other's. i was still on my tip-toes with my misfortunate height.

"i don't wanna have you playing hard to get. i just wanna have YOU, Lorin Reylizna Lopez." he whispers and i don't reply, i just stay in the moment.

"i can't have have you." i reply in a weak voice, my voice breaking as i said this.

"what do you mean?" he says and tilts his head, "i'm right here." he assures.

i look away, "you cheated on me almost two months ago." i say.

"i know. and i've told you i'm sorry. i know i've made excuses for it, but the only true excuse was... i was lonely." he sighs and shakes his head, "you were busy trying to build a name for yourself. i missed you." he admits and it made me wanna forgive him, because suddenly he made ME feel GUILT for HIM and how he CHEATED.

"i was with you, Z." i reply and frown, looking him in his cocoa brown irises.

"didn't feel like it." he says.

then i snapped, "i'm sorry. i just need more time. THIS is NOT the time." i whispered lightly and he nodded. he let his arms unwrap from my waist and i stepped off of my tip-toes and looked at the ground.

"just tell me when." he said and with that he left, closing the door behind him.

why do i keep giving in to him. he just tempts me and i hate it and love it. i can't do it. but i want to. and i just don't know what to do...

—

lotsa qute.

— clair 🐸☕️