i had to get my mind off of things, i couldn't have the fact that Zion was trying to make it up to me after cheating on me with my best friend, floating through my head.

i threw myself up from the comfort of my bed and groaned as i made my way across the room and to my closet. because that's something i do a lot. i stress clean way to much. that's one of my best traits and worst in a way. my parents say it'll make me a good wife. but, it's so damn annoying sometimes.

i open the doors to my walk in closet and step inside, wincing at the mess. random boxes holding cds, mixtapes, and polaroids. i wasn't going to bother being tempted to see what was on those polaroids until i finished cleaning.

i started by picking up all of my random clothes that fell off the hangers and put them back in their spots.

once, i realized this was going to be a loooonggg cleaning session, i walked over to my bedside table and grabbed my phone and earbuds. i connected my earbuds to my phone and pressed play on a random song that was on trending and as soon as the song came on, i froze.

Solita started playing. Solita from the band PrettyMuch. Zion's band. i immediately unlocked my phone and pressed pause. sitting down on my bed and rolling my eyes in annoyance. it seems like the whole world is forcing me towards Zion and i'm not fucking interested.

i forget about the headphones and music. i'm no longer in the mood. i walked back over to the closet and suddenly lost the want to clean it. but, the box of all the polaroid pictures are still intriguing.

'fuck it' i think to myself and reach up for the box, grabbing it and lowering it to the ground. i sigh and prepare myself before looking through it, knowing that most pictures will be of Zion and me hanging out with all of PrettyMuch.

i reach into the box and aim for the bottom in hopes to find a picture from before Zion. i snake my hand around for a while before grabbing a random one and pulling it up through the collection.

i look at the picture and smile, it was a picture of me and trinity when i was eleven and she was eight. we were sitting at the poolside and both eating bright red strawberry popsicles, toothy smiles on our faces, us both in yellow polka dotted full body swim suits.

i was thankful it wasn't one that i knew i would hate. and right as i think that, i pull up a picture of me and Zion. he was holding me bridal style and he was smiling goofily while i kissed him on the cheek, we were at some sort of skating rink... our first date.

i groaned and shoved it back into the box, reaching around for another one and pulling it out. another one of me and Zion. we were both holding up peace signs and grinning. i was sitting on his lap by some sort of bar. i remember that one now, too. we were in hawaii on vacation for the summer. that was the time he first told me he loved me.

i literally screamed out loud, which wouldn't be a problem because i lived alone. i threw it back into the box and thought i'd try one more time before i called it quits out of frustration.

i fish around and grab one more, it was me and Zion AGAIN. but this time the rest of prettymuch has photobombed us. we were on a balcony during our trip to Italy and Zion was holding me by the waist and kissing me. the boys had their heads through the edges of the screen, sticking theirs tongues out and flipping the camera off.

suddenly, it was too much and i ripped the photo in half, grabbing the box and shoving back into the shelf and slamming the closet door shut.

so much for decluttering my damn closet. a box of polaroids

polaroids from hell.

—

no a/n note. just here

to say that this: is bad.

— clair 🤩