Waking up in your own bed is probably the greatest feeling ever. Well, that and waking up in your own bed next to an amazingly beautiful woman. As I watched her, fast asleep wrapped in the sheets, I found myself smiling. After everything we've been through this past month or so, I couldn't believe that she was still beside me. But here she was; snoring softly and fidgeting to get the sun out of her eyes. I have never felt this much love for someone except for the first time I held Abel in my arms. No one, not even Tara has made me feel this way.

Carefully, I leaned over and pressed my lips to the top of her head. She rolled over and smiled sleepily at me.

"Good morning." She said.

I smiled and kissed her lips.

"Mornin' darlin'."

Her eyes roamed my face and down to my bandaged shoulder. She propped herself on her elbow and looked at me seriously.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

I kissed her again and tucked her hair behind her ear. I held back a chuckle as I did. She had incredible sex hair.

"I'm fine babe." I assure her.

With her free hand, she reaches up and lightly touches the bandage. Then she moved down to the purplish bruises along my side. A laugh rumbles in my throat and I catch her hand.

"That tickles." I say.

McKayla grins wickedly and starts to light brush her finger tips up and down my side. I laugh again and jump slightly. The sudden movement caused a flash of pain to run up my ribs. I winced and catch her arm. She gasped and sat up straight. The sheets fall down and she is sitting up in bed, naked.

"Jax, I'm sorry. Are you alright?" She says, alarmed.

I smile at her and bring her hand up to my lips and kiss it.

"I'm fine, relax." I tell her.

I kiss her hand again, slower this time. My eyes traveled up and down her exposed breasts. Mckayla chuckles and wiggles her hand out of mine.

"Didn't you get enough last night?" She asks playfully.

I lean down and start kissing her neck softly.

"I'll never get enough of you, babe."

She moans softly and I roll on top of her.

The party was in full swing. We decided after I got out of the hospital to push Abel's party back a few weeks. McKayla and Gemma did a fantastic job. They turned the whole back of the garage into a petting zoo. All of the guys came out, even some from other charters came down with their families to celebrate with us. Opie was behind a grill cooking up some burgers and hot dogs. I handed him a beer and we clinked them together.

"Great party, bro." He said as he flipped a burger.

I nodded and took a sip of my beer.

"Ya, if it's one thing my mom is good at it's throwing a party." I said.

He nodded and took a drink. I left him to cook and walked over to a picnic table. I sat with my back against it and watched McKayla with Abel. She had him balanced her hip and was letting him pet a horse. He was giggling and so was she. He was so happy with her. And she loved him like he was her own kid. Watching the two of them together, I realized this is what I wanted. This was my family. This was everything I needed.

Gemma walked over and sat down beside me. She lit a cigarette and handed me her pack.

"She's good with him." She said, letting out a puff of smoke.

I nod and take a cigarette out of the pack.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked me.

I waited a few seconds before I answered her.

"I want it to always be like this." I tell her.

She follows my gaze to McKayla and Abel and then looks at me seriously. I kept talking.

"I love her, Ma. And for whatever reason she loves me too. Hell, she was almost killed twice because of me but she's still here. She loves Abel and treats him like her own kid. I don't want anything else but this."

Gemma studied me for a while. She glanced over my shoulder and swore under her breath.

"Well, you better remember that." She said.

I raised my eyebrow and turned around. Tara Knowles was headed right for us. Her long dark hair was resting around her shoulders and her eyes were set on me.

"Shit." I said under my breath.

Gemma glared at her and got ready to stand. I put my hand on her knee. I swear I could practically hear her growling.

"This is a private party Doc. I suggest you leave, now." Gemma said harshly.

Tara glared right back at her. They have never gotten along. Even when Tara and I were in high school, Gemma was threatened by Tara. She was always afraid that she was going to take me away from her. I glanced behind Tara and noticed that McKayla and Abel were gone. I let out a small sigh of relief. Tara turned away from my mother and faced me.

"I need to talk to you." She said. She was trying to be cold and unattached, but I could tell something was up.

Gemma stood up.

"What part of 'leave now' don't you get?" Gemma spat at her.

Tara ignored her and looked at me expectantly.

"Jax, please?" She asked. This time, I heard her voice crack.

"Are you looking to get your ass kicked?" Gemma said almost shouting.

Tara finally turned to Gemma and crossed her arms.

"This is none of your business." She said firmly.

Gemma squared her shoulders and put her hands on her hips.

"It's my son honey, everything is my business." She said.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Gemma.

"I got this." I tell her.

I take Tara by the arm and lead her into the clubhouse. We walk to the bar and I winced as I sat on a stool. Tara noticed and turned into a doctor.

"Are you still in pain?" She asked.

I shrugged and leaned back on the bar.

"I'm fine. What's going on?" I ask her.

If I have learned anything in the 10 plus years I've known Tara Knowles, it's how to tell when she's nervous. She starts to fidget and pace and avoids eye contact with me at all costs. This was a level 10. She was standing perfectly still. Her hands were knotted together and her eyes were glued to the grungy floor.

"Tara," I say softly. At the sound of her name her head turns towards me.

"What's wrong? Are you in some kinda trouble?" I ask her.

Finally, she looks up at me. Tears are welling up in her eyes and she bites her lip.

"Jax, I have something really important to tell you." She said.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

She was trembling now. I could tell she was thinking of how to tell me, whatever it was she needed to tell me. I was beginning to lose my patience. Instead of being with my son at his birthday party I was sitting in my club house staring at my ex- girlfriend.

"Just tell me Tara." I say a little harsher than I meant to.

"I'm pregnant." She said just above a whisper.

Everything stopped. I swear even my heart did because I had to gasp to catch my breath.

"W-what?" I manage to spit out.

The tears finally fell from her eyes and she stood in front of me.

"I just found out, but you don't have to worry about anything. I'm taking care of it." She said quickly.

I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. Pregnant? I was so drunk the night we slept together I must have forgotten to put a condom on. How could I have been so stupid?

"I needed you to know, Jax. I couldn't do it without you knowing about it first." She went on.

Couldn't do what? I looked up at her and caught her hand that was hanging by her side.

"Tara what are you talking about?" I ask her. This time it was my voice that was cracking.

She couldn't look at me. Instead she looked down at my hand holding hers.

"I-I have an appointment at a clinic in Lodi tomorrow..." She doesn't finish and she doesn't have to.

I let out a huge breath, like I've been kicked in the gut and I know what she's doing.

"Jesus Tara. What are you doing?" I say.

She snatches her hand away from mine and turns her back.

"Jax, I'm having an abortion. I can't raise a baby on my own and you're finally happy with someone else. I can't take that away from you."

My mind was racing. The only thing Tara has ever wanted was a family. That was one of the reasons she left Charming. She wanted me out of the club and she wanted to get married and settle down. Now she's actually pregnant and she's ready to just get rid of it just like that? I couldn't let her do that.

"It'll be like it never happened. We don't ever have to talk about it again. I just couldn't go through with it until I told you."

I closed my eyes. McKayla's face flashed through my mind. This was going to kill her. I stood up and walked in front of Tara. I took her hands again.

"Tara, I can't let you do this." I said just above a whisper. I couldn't say it any louder because of the fist that was in my throat.

She shook her head and more tears spilled from her eyes.

"Jax," I shook my head.

"Tara, this is all you've ever wanted. I can't take that away from you."

Tara doesn't say anything for a while. She looks down and then slowly up at me.

"What about McKayla?" She says finally.

I try and swallow the fist in my throat down.

"I'll figure it out. Promise me you'll cancel the appointment?" I ask her.

She looks at me, her eyes full of questions, but she just nods. I pull her close and put my arms around her. A familiar warmth fills me up and I force myself to let her go.

"You should get out of here, I'll call you tomorrow." I say.

She nods and wipes her eyes.

"Go out the back door so Gemma doesn't see you." I add.

She nods again and just stares at me for a while.

"Jax, I- thank you." She said.

I don't say anything. I don't even nod. I just watch her walk out the back door of the club house. How the hell am I supposed to tell McKayla, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with that the woman I cheated on her with is pregnant and I'm making her keep it?

"Jesus Christ."

.