《I have so much to say, but you're so far away (Synyster Gates sequel)》Chapter 23
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“She’s fading! We’ve gotta get her in the OR stat!” The paramedic shouted to a nurse as we were running into the hospital.
“We have one prepped and ready, let’s get her up.” The doctor said.
The team took Kate’s gurney and loaded into an elevator. A nurse walked over to me as I watched the doors close.
“Sir, I’ll take you up to the waiting room.” She told me.
I barely heard her, but I nodded anyway. Kate was dying right in front of me and there was nothing I could’ve done. The nurse took me upstairs to a waiting room and then she left. I stood in the middle of the room for a moment before falling to my knees.
I started to sob heavily and I put my hands over my face.
“Please God, don’t take her from me. She’s everything to me and I need her in my life. I’d gladly take her place if you’ll let me, but please don’t take her.” I cried out loud to God.
Not long after, I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw Chase. I wiped my face and tried to pull myself up, but I had no strength in my body. Chase put his arms under mine and helped me into a chair.
“Brian, I want to apologize to you.” He said quietly. I looked at him and shook my head slightly.
“For what? If you would’ve have showed up who knows what would’ve happened.” I told him. Chase ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head.
“Brian, Aubrey is my sister. She told me this morning that she was going to try and win you over, but if I would’ve know exactly what she was going to do…” He stopped himself to wipe some tears that were falling.
I closed my eyes and put my hands on my head.
“Brian, I never would’ve let her go home if I knew Aubrey was going to hurt her.” He said quietly.
I just nodded but didn’t say anything. There was nothing I could say. The only thing I could think of was Kate. When she was taking that beating from Aubrey and when she stabbed her. God I would’ve given anything for it to have been me.
“Brian! What the hell happened?” Zacky called from the doorway.
I slowly brought my head up and I saw him wince. He ran over to me and put his arm around me.
“Awe fuck man, what happened?” He asked softly.
“Aubrey, she went fucking crazy. She made K-Kate-“ I stopped. Just saying her name made my heart ache.
“Aubrey made Kate tie him up and then they fought. Aubrey had a knife and she stabbed Kate in the stomach.” Chase finished for me.
Zacky inhaled sharply and sat up.
“Oh God, no.” He said. I nodded slowly and bent my head back down.
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I heard more footsteps and Zacky went to talk to them. I guessed it was Matt and Johnny.
“Brian, honey.” My step mom Suzy cried as she held me.
I figured someone called them. I held onto her tightly and started openly crying. Time seemed to pass so slowly as we were waiting for any kind of news. Everyone in the waiting room was silent. No one said a word. We left each other to our thoughts, which for me meant thinking of every time Kate smiled at me. Every time she laughed with me. Every time we made love. I don’t know what I would do if I’d never get to see her smiling face again.
“Mr. Haner?” A doctor said from the doorway. I jumped up and ran to the door.
“Kate, is she alright?” I asked as I put my hands on his arms.
He gave me a slight smile and patted my arm.
“She’s stable, for now. She’s lost a lot of blood but she should make a full recovery.” He said.
I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and just about fell to the floor.
“Thank you.” I managed to say.
He smiled and nodded.
“You can go see her if you like, but just you. She’s still unconscious though.” He told me.
Suzy walked over to me and put her arms around me.
“Go honey. She needs you now.” She said softly to me.
I nodded and the doctor led me to Kate’s room. The room was dark except for the light above Kate’s bed. I didn’t know if I should’ve been happy or sad when I saw her. She was covered in bandages and had a tube down her throat. I glanced at her heart monitor and it was beating slowly, but steadily.
“Oh baby.” I said quietly as I sat leaned over to kiss her forehead.
I collapsed into the chair beside her and picked up her hand and held it tight.
“Kate I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, I never should’ve let her move in. But please baby, don’t leave me.” I whispered to her.
Kate just laid there in the land of unconsciousness while I cried and stroked her hand.
“Kate, please honey wake up.” I said softly.
Still, she just laid there. I sighed and leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. Her heart rate monitor started to speed up and I sat up quickly. I watched as the monitor went back to normal, then I had an idea. I smiled and leaned down and kissed her again, this time I watched her monitor. When my lips touched her cheek, her heart sped up again.
“Thank you.” I whispered to her.
I knew she could at least feel me with her when her heart sped up and for now, that was enough. I pulled the chair closer to her and started humming softly to her. Sometimes at night if she couldn’t fall asleep she’d ask me to do that.
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Hours later, the doctor came in and started examining Kate. He leaned over her and gave me a smile.
“She’s doing well considering. If she makes it through the night, she should wake up soon.” He told me. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.
“Thanks Doc.” I said. He nodded and patted my shoulder.
“Is it alright if I send some of your family in?” He asked from the door. I nodded and he left.
“Hear that baby? You’re gonna be okay. Just hang on baby.” I whispered to her.
A few seconds later, Suzy came in. Her hands flew to her mouth and she rushed over to me. I stood up and she sat down.
“Oh you poor baby.” Suzy whispered to Kate.
“Brian, why didn’t you help her baby?” She asked me. I sighed and walked over to the window.
“Because Aubrey made Kate tie me up or believe me I would have.” I told her.
Suzy shook her head and held Kate’s hand.
“Brent’s friend that Aubrey was shot and is in the ER.” Suzy said.
My blood boiled. I clenched my fists together and faced the window.
“Brian, don’t even think about it.” Suzy said to me seriously.
I took a deep breath and walked back over to Kate.
“This is where you need to be right now. If you go to her, she wins.” Suzy said.
I nodded and sat on the edge of Kate’s bed.
“Suz, I feel like a horrible man. This is all my fault. The only reason she’s hurt is because I told Aubrey she could stay at our house. She’s been trying to get me to sleep with her the whole tour.” I spilled to Suzy. She shook her head and put her other hand on mine.
“Honey, you’re not a horrible man, you made a mistake. No one could have predicted that this would happen.” Suzy said softly.
I shook my head and touched Kate’s face.
“What if she hates me when she wakes up?” I asked quietly.
Suzy put her hands on my face and turned my head so that I was looking at her.
“Now you listen to me Brian Elwin Haner Jr. Kate is a wonderfully understanding woman. She is not going to hate you, she loves you very much.” She said firmly.
I shrugged and looked back at Kate.
“She threatened to leave me Suz.” I said. Suzy raised her eyebrow.
“Why? What did you do?” She asked. I rolled my eyes.
“I said Aubrey could live with us. Kate got pissed and told me that if Aubrey was living in the house, she wouldn’t be.” I said. I shook my head and wiped a tear from my eye.
“If I would’ve just told that bitch no from the beginning none of this would’ve happened.” I said quietly.
Suzy leaned over and kissed my cheek.
“Honey you need to stop beating yourself up over this. It was a mistake, but you’re human, you’re entitled to make them. What you need to focus on is this young woman fighting for her life right now.” Suzy said. I smiled weakly at her and kissed her cheek.
“Thanks Suzy.” I said. She nodded and gave Kate’s hand a squeeze.
“What are mothers for?” She said with a smile.
Suzy stood up and kissed the top of my head.
“I’ll send someone else in baby.” She said.
I nodded and she left. For the next two hours, Matt, Val, Zacky and Johnny all came in to sit with Kate and I. Chase was the last to come in.
“I hear she’s doing pretty good.” He said from the doorway. I stiffened at his voice and nodded.
He said and walked over to Kate’s opposite side.
“Look man, I want us to be able to have a conversation. Kate is just a friend, a good friend but that’s all. I’ve never slept with her or even wanted to. I’ve known since I met her that she was your girl and I would never pressure her into cheating. Plus, she’s crazy about you.” He said.
I took a deep breath and nodded.
“Yeah, we’re cool man.” I told him. I stuck my hand out and Chase smiled and shook it.
“Good. Aubrey is going to jail, obviously. The cops were looking for you, they’re gonna need your and Kate’s statements when she wakes up.” He told me. I nodded.
“Is she alright?” I asked quietly.
Chase looked up at me with one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, it was just a flesh wound. She’s already on her way to jail.” He said slowly.
I nodded again and touched Kate’s face.
“She’s gonna be alright man.” Chase said softly.
He stood up and walked towards the door.
“Brian, I’m sorry.” He said before walking out.
I sat still for a few moments, waiting to see if anyone else was coming in. When I figured no one was, I leaned over and kissed Kate’s forehead.
“Alone at last.” I whispered to her.
“I have so much to say to you, but you’re so far away from me right now.” I told her.
I looked up to the ceiling and sighed.
“Jimmy, you gotta help me on this one. If she’s up there with you please send her back to me.” I said in a raspy voice and with tear rolling down my cheeks.
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