Chapter 10: Realization

“You really think Kieth will be good for criminal?” Warren asked, looking over the kid's file. He was pretty young, still young enough yet to not be sure what exactly he wanted, but Brooklyn had only good things to say about him. He was hard working, he was respectful, he was always on time and incredibly thorough; he sounded like a mythical twenty something year old to Warren.

They were in Brooklyn's car, she was behind the wheel and driving with a peaceful smile on her face as Warren sat beside her. The polite conversation had veered off towards work, to Warren's frustration, which made Brooklyn think of Kieth and decided to pass his file on to Warren to pass to Jack along with his request for a transfer.

The day had started out easily enough. The night before, as they left work for the week, Brooklyn had requested they go out. They hadn't been on a date since their first and she wanted to go on another. Warren had agreed, wanting eagerly to fix whatever it was that had broken between them, and had even gone to sleep rather hopefully.

He had been plagued by nightmares about Josh but nothing overly unusual and he woke up feeling excited and eager to work out their problems.

She had picked him up, insisting that the location of their outing was a surprise and Warren, trusting her, had got into the car and let her lead the way.

However, he had been put out to see that the polite facade of the last few weeks was still in place. Was nothing, he wondered in frustration, ever going to be normal again? Still, he did nothing to change it and kept up his own smile while inside there was a personal storm brewing. He couldn't help but feel that if the date didn't go well, he wouldn't get another chance to make it right. But every time he opened his mouth to say something, to apologize, to tell her how pretty she looked, to say anything that didn't qualify as friendly chit-chat, he found his voice stuck in his throat and the words didn't come.

Brooklyn, beautiful, serene, lovely Brooklyn, didn't seem to notice as she drove. Her face was as calm and carefree as ever. In fact, he took a moment as her attention was diverted by a car in another lane to look at her, she even looked happy. There was a sparkle of hope and joy in her eyes that she either wasn't doing well at disguising or he was getting better at seeing.

“He'll go crazy if he has to spend his life locked away in a library.” Brooklyn answered him. “If he really doesn't like it, he can always come back. I'll be happy to have him if Jack doesn't want him.”

“I'm sure Jack won't mind.” Warren closed the file and tried to focus back on their date. Tell her she's beautiful, he told himself fiercely. You can do at least that without blundering like an idiot! She deserves at least that...

However, despite his internal battle, the words refused to come.

So lost was he in his inner argument with himself that he didn't notice until Brooklyn pulled into the parking lot where she was taking him.

Warren's mouth fell open slightly as he saw the words 'Paradise Cemetery' carved in a plaque beside the open gates to the city cemetery.

“Come on.” Brooklyn said, climbing out of the car as if nothing had happened.

Warren, following the order more out of habit than anything, opened the door and stepped out. Behind him, he was vaguely away of Brooklyn opening the truck of her car and reaching in it to grab something. A moment later, she was at his side, a bouquet of fresh flowers cradled gently in her arms.

She brought them up to her nose and took a deep breath of the sweet scent coming from them. Then, with a smile, she passed them onto him.

“Here.” she said as if nothing was amiss. “ The purple ones are hyacinths, the red ones are geraniums. It seemed only right that we bring some flowers. I wasn't sure what type so I got these, I like the colors. Bright and pretty, don't you think?”

“Brook...” Warren tried to say something but, just as before, the words refused to come. He wasn't even sure exactly what he was trying to say.

“Come on.” Brooklyn took his arm, her grip was firm but sweet telling him clearly that she knew this would be painful for him but she was most certainly not letting him get away.

She pulled gently on him and he followed mostly because she told him to and, for Brooklyn, Warren would do anything.

Still...

Warren felt his heart start beating quickly, racing as if attempting to compensate for the unbeating hearts all around him, as she pulled him up the path.

Shouldn't it be raining or something? He couldn't stop the irrational thought. Cemeteries were supposed to be dark, unhappy places. He wasn't supposed to be able to see such a bright blue, happy sky shinning down on a place that felt so...strange. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but surely the place that housed the dead should be more solemn.

The snow of the previous weeks had melted away leaving the land around them clear and somehow vibrant.

There was something wrong with that, Warren thought, swallowing convulsively. The word 'vibrant' shouldn't be used to describe the place of the dead.

Brooklyn led him forward without hesitation, needing no directions as if she had already been there. The smile on her face was respectful though there were no mourners around at the moment to disturb.

“Brook, I don't think...” Warren tried again. His skin was crawling as he looked around him. It wasn't the knowledge that he was surrounded by the departed, that didn't bother him at all. It was more that he was sure exactly which grave she was leading him to and he very dearly didn't want to go.

She said nothing, not like she was ignoring him but more like she wasn't going to let his objections stop her. She turned off the main path and began winding their way through the tombstones.

Warren looked at them as he passed, trying to get him mind off of where she was taking him. He wasn't fighting her, he couldn't bring himself to deny Brooklyn anything even something he didn't want, so he was trying to distract himself.

Gravestone after gravestone passed, she was moving him too quickly for him to read any of the names, but he was noting the differences between them. There were some that were paired off, for married couples, there were elaborate statues for some and others that were just simple names and dates. He saw full dates, he saw some that were just months and years. Full names and last names only. He was being careful to step around the front of the graves. He hadn't been to a cemetery before, he wasn't sure of the etiquette, but it felt sort of rude to just be walking over these people.

“Here.” Brooklyn stopped suddenly and Warren took his graze from a gravestone that was paired off though only one of the couple had been buried and suddenly found himself looking down at the simple plaque that marked Josh's grave.

The gravestone hadn't come yet and the small plaque bore only his name, Joshua Davis, as well as the years of his birth and death.

“Brook...” Warren tried again but found the air in his lungs didn't feel like enough anymore.

“You need to face this.” she said, reaching up and pushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. “If you can't face this, you'll never be able to move on.”

“Brook...” Warren felt stupid for being unable to say anything else but she was the only comprehensive thought in his head and was, therefore, the only thing he could voice.

“I'll give you space.” Brooklyn reached up and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Take your time, we have all day.”

Warren wanted to grab her, stop her and pull her back, but he did nothing as she walked away from him and back to the main path.

He watched her walk away, suddenly torn between following her order and going with her to make sure she was safe. There was still some guy out there who wanted her dead, he couldn't just let her leave.

But she stopped once she reached the main path and turned back and smiled at him telling him without words that she was going to wait right there until he was done.

Warren blinked, then turned his head back to Josh's plaque, his grave, and suddenly felt very inadequate.

Because he had nothing else to do, he kneeled down and set the flowers at the base of the plaque.

“Um...” Warren cleared his throat. “I guess...Brooklyn is trying to accomplish something here. So...People talk to graves. Right?”

He looked at the plaque, the plain words unchanged as a cool breeze blew gently through the cemetery making the grass wave in its wake.

“Sorry.” Warren said suddenly. “I'm sorry, Josh. I...I failed you. If I hadn't left you that night, if I just stayed, you...”

He trailed off as he realized what he was trying to say wasn't true. It wasn't like Warren had left him alone and he had been kidnapped, Josh had walked right into their enemies hands. He had known exactly what he was doing, or he knew what he was trying to do anyway. He had left the address for Warren to find, didn't he?

“...Never mind.” Warren shook his head. He looked over at Brooklyn. She hadn't moved and was looking away respectfully, giving him some privacy.

Another breeze swept across the grounds and Warren tilted his head back, letting the air brush gently across his face and he couldn't stop the small smile that appeared as he realized what it was about the place.

The cemetery was, there was no other word for it, peaceful.

It didn't feel like a place of death, it was calm and tranquil. The entire area just felt so calming. There was nothing there that made Warren think of death. Instead, it calmed him down and, as the breeze rustled his hair and the trees alike, he felt his heart beat returning to a normal speed.

“I still love her, you know.” he found himself saying, thinking back to the last real conversation they had had.

Before they had begun ordering their Chinese Christmas dinner, Warren had been professing his love for Brooklyn to Josh. Josh had been rather pessimistic about it but Warren had known, even then, how much Brooklyn meant to him. As a haltija, it he felt things differently than his human friend and hadn't been able to explain to him what he felt for Brooklyn or how real it was.

“I still plan on marrying her.” he continued, warming to the subject. He wasn't sure what you were supposed to say when you visited a grave so he was just going to go wherever his emotions took him. It didn't surprise him at all that they took him right to Brooklyn. “I haven't asked her yet, don't worry. I plan on giving it a bit more time. But...still...I thought, for a while I was sure, that my vaki was changing to her. It's happened before, you know. Not to me, of course. Vakis can change but, when I failed you, I...I...”

Warren trailed off. He had been sure before, so sure, that losing Josh had snapped his focus back to MCRC, but had it really?

Or maybe, more likely, his vaki had changed the moment he set his eyes on Brooklyn. He could still remember the moment so clearly as if he was the one with a photographic memory. He had walked into her library, he had seen her coming from around a bookshelf. He had been thinking at the time how much he didn't like the smell of old paper that was always so prevalent in a library when he had seen her. It was like getting punched in the gut and waking up from a dream all at once. Everything had suddenly seemed so clear and bright and beautiful. Looking at her, seeing her smile at him, it was as if he was a blind man seeing the light for the first time and the blinding beauty had left him speechless and, more, thoughtless.

What if, he realized, his heart, and his soul, had been with Brooklyn from the moment he had seen her walking at him in that library. If his vaki hadn't connected him to MCRC since that day. He didn't notice Josh acting weird, he didn't consider that something might be attacking them from the inside, because his vaki wasn't pulling him towards MCRC, and by extension Josh, at all.

He stood back up and let out a deep breath. And with it, so suddenly he blinked in surprise, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

The guilt he felt from losing Josh wasn't because he failed his vaki, his reason for existing. The guilt he felt was just plain old, every day guilt of losing a friend that he couldn't have saved.

And, somehow, that made everything better.

He wasn't a failure as a haltija because his loyalty was no longer to MCRC. He belonged to Brooklyn now, he had from the moment he had set his eyes on her. The reasoning wouldn't be enough for a human, but for a haltija it made all the difference.

He laughed once, without any real humor as the relief flooded his body so strong it was like a drug. He wasn't a failure. He had done nothing wrong by his vaki. The only thing that mattered to him was his vaki and she was was standing only a few dozen yards away, perfectly healthy.

And in danger.

The words flashed into his brain and the smile slipped off of his face immediately.

“I'm sorry, Josh.” he told the plaque. “I'm sorry for what happened to you and I'm sorry I wasn't able to do anything. But I'm a haltija, and my vaki needs me now. I can't stay here”

He turned away from the grave and marched back to Brooklyn, his mind working quickly.

What was wrong with him? How could he let her be so far from him in the open with a known enemy clearly after her life. That was completely unacceptable. He had let his guilt cloud his judgment, cloud his mind, but he felt like himself again.

And he had been letting her go home alone! He hadn't even bothered to check out her house himself. It wasn't that he doubted Jack's ability, but he should have done it himself.

“Are you finished?” Brooklyn asked as he approached. He saw the uncertainty come into her eyes as she saw his face. What did she see there, he wondered.

“I'm finished.” he said, his face determined. “I've realized something.”

“Oh?” Brooklyn said. The sound was carefully neutral allowing him to interpret it as a statement or a question as he chose.

“Yeah.”

Without asking for permission, Warren reached out and pulled her close. Brooklyn made a small squeak of surprise as his mouth closed over hers and he began kissing her with abandon.

The surprise only lasted a moment before she was wrapping her arms around him. Not like she was kissing him back, though she was trying, but more like a woman trying to weather the storm. Warren, for this moment, didn't care about being sweet and romantic and gentle. He held her tight and just took.

Brooklyn had never been kissed like this. Seeing him walk towards her, a fire she didn't recognize burning in his eyes, she had naively assumed he was mad at her for bringing him here. She hadn't been able to identify it as the need it was until he was holding her so tight it almost hurt and was moving his mouth against hers doing more for himself than for her.

And it felt incredible. No man had ever needed her so much that he just took without care, that he dominated her like this. Warren himself had always been so gentle. She had enjoyed that, make no mistake. But having him bury his hand in her hair, pulling it out of its bun and letting her hair fall free, grabbing her head and tilting it back to give himself better access, having him putting his leg between hers, letting her feel every curve of his hard body, making sure she couldn't mistake a single thing he was doing for anything less than exactly what it was, that filled her with a strange sense of feminine power.

After what felt like an eternity, yet still wasn't nearly long enough, Warren lifted his head and looked down at her. They were both breathing hard. Her eyes were clouded with desire, his were burning with passion and need.

“Come on.” he said grabbing her hand, holding it like they were in high school, and pulling her along the path.

“Where are we going?” Brooklyn asked, licking her lips. They felt bruised and puffy and amazing from the force he had been using.

“We're going to your house.” he said simply. His words were gruff but he kept his strides short enough for her to keep up and put his hands, including the one that held hers, into his coat pockets. It was a strangely intimate gesture and Brooklyn felt her pulse jump at his words.

“You don't need more time?” she asked, not really putting up a fight.

“I've had all the time I need.” Warren said. He looked down at her and smiled, showing her that same playful, happy Warren she remembered and she beamed. Her face was red from the kiss and the cold and her hair was messed up. He hadn't seen her with her hair completely down before. He decided that that messy hair, bright eyes, red lips and cheeks were all a sight entirely too sexy for her own good. He suddenly felt fiercely glad that she made herself look so conservative around everyone else. He wanted to keep this sexy woman all to himself. No one else should get the pleasure of seeing her like this.

It wasn't until they had got back to her car, she had turned it on and was preparing to pull out, that Warren reached across the middle consul and placed his hand on her thigh, that the meaning of his words hit her.

She gasped in surprise. “Oh, you mean you want to...my house...”

Warren smiled again, a strangely predatory gleam in his eyes. “Yes. Your house.” he said simply as he ran his hand up and down her leg, a caress that was all the more powerful because of the look in his eyes.

“Oh...okay...” Brooklyn said, her voice breathless. She tried to ignore his touch as she pulled out of the cemetery parking lot and back onto the road.

She might as well have tried to ignore the car for all the good it did her. He stopped moving his hand as she drove, but he left it right there on her thigh. All too close but not nearly close enough.

She felt her heart racing, her mind was tripping over itself as she tried to think but it was taking all of her concentration just to keep herself under the speed limit.

Her body was humming, she was suddenly hyper aware of Warren. Every single move he made, even as he just shifted his weight in his seat, she found herself focusing on that more than the road.

Looking back, Brooklyn was amazed she managed to find her house without incident. Her entire body, most of her concentration, had been on Warren. She wasn't a virgin, but that didn't follow that she was all that experienced either, and the anticipation of what was coming broke her concentration in a way nothing else had before.

“This is it.” she said pointlessly. Hers was the only house in the area but she felt the need to say something, anything.

“It's nice.” Warren said honestly, climbing out of her car.

Nervously, surprised to find her hands shaking, Brooklyn followed suit and led the way up the front path to her door.

“I'm sorry about the mess.” she said mechanically as she opened it and stood aside to let him in. How did he manage to look so assured of himself? It wasn't arrogance, not really. It was the confidence of a man who knew exactly what he wanted.

A man who knew how to get it.

Warren looked around as Brooklyn shut the door, hitting the code on her alarm system to turn it off as she did so. She was incredibly glad for her memory because she wasn't sure she would have been able to think of the codes in that moment without it.