"Please just stop! You upset me and I don't care if it was a joke or not!", Sapnap snapped, "I just wanted to share a story with chat and all you could do was make fun of it, you always do that. And after you say it was just a joke, but it's not! A joke shouldn't make me feel like I shouldn't talk or like I'm just a fucking side character in my own life"

Karl saw tears in Sapnaps eyes, regret filling his veins. He fucked up. He went too far.

Sapnap looked away, took a deep breath and walked towards the door.

"I'm sorry for yelling.", he opened the door, "I love you, I really do, but it's so hard to just ignore the way you treat me sometimes. I need time, okay? I'll go home now, I don't know for how long, but I need space to think about this. To think about us."

Karls heart cracked, tears formed in his eyes. "Please don't go. We can talk this out, I'm sorry", he ran over, hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, let's talk about this, don't go when you're angry."

Sapnap didn't hug him back just swallowed hardly, as if to force away his tears.

"We can talk about this, we can talk about everything. You can still go when we found a solution, when we found out how this never happens again and how I can apologize properly.", Karl tried again, "Tell me how I can do better, please"

Sapnap sighed, nodded. "Fine."

Karl pulled him to the bed, sat down with him and wiped away his tears. "Okay", he took a deep breath, "I went too far with my what I thought were jokes and I hurt you. I'm sorry and I want to know, when did it go overboard and how can I do better?"

"It-", Sapnap stopped and Karl saw how he was on the verge of tears, he sobbed, "It just hit a weak spot. When your worst fear of being boring and taking up too much space is just supported by the person you love most- it- it hurts so much"

Karl pressed his lips to a line, nodded.

"Can I hug you?", he asked and Sapnap shook his head, "Okay"

He sat there, waited for Sapnap to continue.

"I always was a nobody and now? Now I'm finally confident enough to talk, to accept that I deserve being listened to and to take up space, but those thoughts of not being worth the attention and the space are still there. They won't go away any time soon and having you look me talk and thinking yeah, let's make fun of what he has to say gives me even more reason to think that my thoughts have a point. Because I love you and seeing that someone I love-"

He stopped again, buried his face in his hands and sobbed, whole body trembling.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm so, so sorry", Karl said, "I really just thought it would be funny, but I went overboard, it wasn't funny. I don't actually think you're not worth being listened to. You're so worth it. You're worth every bit of space, every second you talk. I know a simple sorry won't fix this, but I need you to know, that you're worth it. That I didn't mean to make you feel like the things you have to say are unimportant. I could listen to you for hours on end without getting bored. I love you so much and I hate that I made you feel like I don't or like I didn't appreciate you. Please, please forgive me. I know it's probably not easy, but I really hope that you can forgive me at some point."

Karl had tears streaming down his cheeks too by now, picked on a loose thread on his shirt and looked at Sapnap with sorrow.

The brunette met his gaze, took a deep, shaking breath. "Promise me you won't do it again. I don't set a lot of boundaries, but this one is very important to me", he said, "I want to be with you, I really do, but I can't when you continue making me feel bad."

"I promise, I promise I'll never say something like that again and please, tell me when I go to far immediately next time. Tell me to knock it off, I will. I promise."

Sapnap nodded, opened his arms and Karl quickly hugged him. "You matter, you're so worth it", Karl whispered in tears, "I love you"

"I love you too", Sapnap replied and pulled him closer, "I'm glad I didn't leave immediately. Thank you for not letting me go" "Thank you for staying"