《In the Sky with Diamonds » s. hyde》thirty nine
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The gang sat around in a classroom, awaiting their turn to take their yearbook picture. Donna and Lucy sat beside eachother on a desk while Jackie sat opposite of them and ran her hands through Kelso's hair.
Just then Hyde walked in, standing beside Lucy who propped her arm on his shoulder and rested her head. "Hey guys, Tommy Hedges just got his picture taken with a big old booger!"
Lucy scrunched nose, pulling back and looking up at Hyde in confusion. He shrugged and poked her nose, to which she rolled her eyes and smiled softly.
"So, why were you in Tommy Hedges' picture?" Eric acted confused before laughing, his twin snickering at the joke.
"So, wait. He had a booger, and you didn't tell him?" Donna asked.
Hyde shrugged, "He'll find out, it'll be in the yearbook."
"It's true. That's how I found out I was adorable," Fez smiled.
"It's how I found out my boobs had actually grown," Lucy nodded.
Hyde looked at her confused, "You needed a yearbook photo for that? It was pretty obvious to the rest of us" Lucy then scoffed, smacking his chest lightly.
"Okay, but seriously!" Jackie exclaimed, "The only thing more important than your yearbook picture is your yearbook quote!"
Kelso smiled excitedly, "Ah! I already got that covered. My quote's gonna be, What a long, strange trip it's been. Yeah, that's freaking profound!"
Eric sighed, "Kelso, every lame-o hippie in the history of time has used that quote."
"And their uncle!" Lucy chimed in, the twins nodding in agreement.
"Well, yeah. That's 'cause it's good!" Kelso defended.
"No, Michael, your quote has to be meaningful, so you can remember the good times when you're like, 30 with no reason left to live," Jackie insisted.
Lucy furrowed her eyebrows but nodded, "Yeah, and you can go back and look at everyone's photo and see that Pam—that they peaked in highschool!"
"Okay, hidden in Jackie and Lucy's extremely disturbing thought is a grain of truth. We need a really good quote this year!" Donna agreed.
"Well, all the best quotes are about things that mean a lot to you," Jackie explained, "Like for example: me, my hair, or my personality, or the sparkle I bring to your dull, grey lives."
"Kelso, take notes," Lucy joked.
Hyde added, "Or the feeling of relief we get when you leave the room."
"No, you know what? We need a quote that's about all of us. Like, maybe, like, how we all met," Eric suggested.
Lucy looked up as if in thought, "I was born, and then eight minutes later, my father met his greatest disappointment—Eric Forman!" The others chuckled and Eric held his hand over his heart.
"Remember how we first met?" Donna laughed.
Fez's eyes lit up, "Oh! Is this a sexy story?"
"It's really more sad than sexy," Donna said.
"Yeah," Eric nodded sadly.
"I make the story worse," Lucy whispered, reveling in her brother's embarrassment.
Hyde shook his head, "That's pretty much how it goes for you isn't it?"
"Yeah," the twins said, Eric in disappointment and Lucy in satisfaction.
❁
It's 1968, and the Forman's walked out of their house. Young Eric and Lucy in matching blue outfits both carried a plate of brownies.
"Okay, you two have the brownies for the new neighbors?" Kitty asked.
"Yes Mommy," Eric smiled.
Ever the Daddy's girl, Lucy looked at her father, "Dad, can't I have a brownie?"
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"No, sweetheart," Red, with a full head of hair, said seriously before leaning over to whisper, "I'll give you ice cream instead."
Kitty fussed over her hair while Red dreaded the meeting of the new neighbors.
"Well I just hope these new neighbors are better than the last one," Red sighed, "That Gus Griffin was a complete dumbass."
Just then, a young un-permed Bob came over, holding the hand of a young red head. "Hiya neighbors!"
"Well, hello, we were just coming to welcome you!" Kitty smiled.
"Looks like we beat you to the punchity-punch!" Bob joked obnoxiously, punching Red.
"Oh damn," Red sighed, Lucy looked up to her father and shrugged sadly—she could already tell this is what her father would consider to be a "dumbass".
"I'm Bob Pinciotti. This is my daughter, Donna. My wife Midge will be over later, her thumb is caught in something right now."
"Well, we've all done that!" Kitty smiled politely.
Lucy leaned over to whisper to Donna, "My brother got a marble stuck in his nose once," the blonde and red head then erupted in quiet giggles.
"Well, I'm Kitty and this is Red, and this is our son Eric and our daughter Lucetta!" Eric and Lucy handed the plate of brownies to Bob. "Eric, Lucetta, say hello to Donna."
Eric's eyes widened at the girl before him, his twin looking at him curiously out of the side of her eye. Young Donna furrowed her eyebrows, "What are you looking at string bean?" she asked harshly before punching him in the gut.
"Wow, you're strong!" Eric exclaimed, standing up from his doubled over position.
"You're my new best friend!" Lucy beamed, pulling the girl into a hug before they sat on the driveway and ate brownies, Eric staring at Donna wistfully from the kitchen door.
❁
The teens all laughed at the story of the legendary Forman-Pinciotti encounter.
"That's—yeah, go ahead and laugh," Eric said in defeat, "None of you got punched by Madam Manfist here."
"But you were creepy!" Donna laughed, "What can I say?"
Lucy nodded, "You were creepy. You're eyes were basically bulging out of your head."
"Forman beat up by a girl, seems like only yesterday. Oh wait! I think it happened yesterday too!" Hyde joked.
"You like that story Hyde?" Eric asked, "Maybe I should talk about the first time you and I met!"
"No!" Hyde yelled.
"Yes!" Eric insisted.
Lucy shook her head in confusion, "Wait, what the hell? Eric spill!"
"No! You promised!" Hyde yelled again, pointing.
Eric pointed back, "Yes! I'm telling!"
Eric quickly relayed the story of the time Hyde would walk with Eric home from school to ensure he didn't get beat up in exchange for a quarter. But as soon as Kitty saw the two boys—Hyde covered in dirt, they were given a bath together. To which, Hyde threatened to kill Eric is he ever told.
The entire time Lucy was basically shaking with laughter at Hyde's annoyance during the story.
"Now I have to kill you," Hyde shrugged once Eric was done.
"Oh my gosh, that's why you guys were wet when you came down to the basement! You didn't run through sprinklers!" Lucy laughed.
"How did you first meet Hyde?" Jackie asked curiously.
Lucy shrugged, "He came down and spied on me with Eric and then insulted my music taste and said it was about drugs and not me."
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"Like every modern romance," Hyde smirked goofily.
❁
Kelso was looking through a previous yearbook, "Oh my gosh, you guys, look at Eric's last year picture!"
Everyone jumped from their spot except for Eric to look at the yearbook. "Ah, the famous make-up covered zit," Hyde nodded.
"Look, I just wanted one year of clear skin to remember, and if that means breaking out the old powder puff, so be it," Eric shrugged.
The kids reminisced all the embarrass photos Eric had with his yearbook photo curse. Lucy just shook her head, her brother never seemed to have much luck with his photos.
"Hey! Those days are over!" Eric said, "I'm zit free this year and you want to know why? I have become a man." Everyone scoffed at his reasoning, "No I'm serious. I am man. I am zitless. Hear me roar! That should be our yearbook quote!"
"What about a quote from the happiest day of our lives?" Fez proposed.
"When was that?" Donna asked.
Fez smiled, "The day you met me!"
Fez then thought back to the time in 1976 when he was trapped in a closet because of some jocks when the boys were there to get him off the door's hook. After which, Fez became like a puppy that would remain forever loyal.
"Ah! I forgot about Captain Poo-Face!" Kelso said, walking away from the chalkboard which he erased to just say Ass Picture Day.
Eric defended himself, "I did not like Donna then! Damn!"
"Sure thing," Lucy nodded supportively "You just talked about her in your sleep all the time because you wanted to be really close friends."
"Hey Fez, remember how you wanted to be really close friends with Lucy when you first met?" Kelso laughed.
Fez gasped, "You son of a bitch!"
"What?" Lucy asked looking around, confused.
Fez looked down at his hands, "Well remember how we first met?"
"Oh yeah, how could I forget?" Lucy nodded.
❁
Lucy was walking with Jackie on their way to the girls' room, talking about Kelso and the football jock Jackie wanted to set Lucy up with. Once they came out of the stalls to wash their hands and freshen up their makeup they stopped short upon seeing a boy by the sinks.
"Um, excuse me?" Jackie spoke up, annoyed but mostly confused, turning off the faucet.
The boy turned around, "Oh hello ladies. How are you?"
"Fine, I mean my hair is a mess but I'm fine. What are you doing here?" Jackie continued.
At this point, Lucy couldn't contain her laughter because of the boy's persistent obliviousness.
"Well you see, I was hoping to get some candy from this machine but I put in my coin and nothing happened," the boy explained, gesturing to the tampon dispenser.
Lucy laughed loudly before composing herself. "Oh honey, that's not candy. But this machine is a bitch, it just eats your money anyways," she explained as she stepped over to the machine, shaking it roughly and getting a tampon.
She held it out to the boy who looked at it with wide eyed wonder before looking to the blonde. "You conquered the bitch machine?" he asked in awe.
Lucy looked to Jackie confused and smiled, "Yup."
"You two would be worshipped in my country. Especially your hair," he said turning to Jackie before turning back to Lucy, "And you, for your feet."
Jackie and Lucy smiled at the boy awkwardly, "Thanks?" They both said unsurely.
"I'm Lucy, this is Jackie," Lucy nodded to the girl beside her, who looked immensely uncomfortable and like she wanted to leave.
"My name is—" the boy continued to talk through the ringing of the bell.
Lucy smiled politely, "Nice to meet you,—" she too continued to talk through the garbled principle's announcement and recited the boy's name.
"Well that's great, but we have to go now!" Jackie said abruptly, pulling Lucy's hand while she dug through her bag, pulling out a chocolate bar and tossing it to the boy. The new boy caught it and looked back at the blonde in amazement as the door shut behind her, before ripping open the candy wrapper.
❁
"Let me get this straight," Lucy held up her hand, laughing quietly, "I gave you a tampon and a candy bar and that's what made you have a crush on me?"
Fez nodded, "Yes."
"Damn, you're a cheap date," Lucy said.
"I'm cheaper," Hyde shrugged, saying it under his breath so only Lucy could hear.
Lucy rolled her eyes, "I know babe."
"Wait, I thought Fez liked me when we first met?" Jackie asked confused.
Fez nodded, "I can't help that I'm attracted to all you beautiful women."
Kelso and Hyde swiftly got up and punched Fez in the arm before sitting back in their seats.
"You know what's the best? The way Kelso always manages to get beat up by Hyde," Donna nodded.
"What?" Kelso scoffed, "Name one time!"
The gang proceeded to go around and list the countless times Hyde had hurt Kelso—more specifically, his eye.
Jackie shook her head, "Those are terrible stories, I'm not even in them."
"That's what makes them good," Hyde taunted.
Eric came back from the bathroom, obsessively checking for any unwelcome guests on his face. "Okay people, please remain calm, I'm still zit free. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it!"
"Guys, stop goofing around!" Donna chastised, "We need to think of a better memory!"
"What about the day I met you? All of you." Fez said suggestively.
Fez then told about the time that he, Hyde, and Kelso accidentally walked in on Donna changing out of her robe; Kelso missing it because he was tying his shoe.
"Now that's a good memory...Or should I say mammary?" Fez joked.
"I don't want to remember that story," Kelso said disappointed, "It just reminds me that I'm the only one here who's never seen Donna's jahoobs."
"Well it's not like you never tried!" Donna exclaimed, recounting the many times Kelso would randomly burst in her room hoping to see her topless.
"Hey, speaking of boobs, Forman's growing one out of his forehead!" Hyde pointed out.
"Oh Eric, your curse has returned!" Fez exclaimed. Everyone rushed over to see Eric and the cursed pimple, Lucy digging through her bag looking for concealer.
❁
"People, we're losing focus here!" Jackie announced, while everyone obsessed over Eric's curse. "Well what is out quote going to be? And let's remember, our goal is to have it be about me."
"I can't think about anything right now except Forman's zit," Hyde shook his head in disgust.
"Anything?" Lucy challenged.
Hyde jumped up, "Well maybe a couple things."
"Well, if you want to know something even funnier than Eric's zit, you should hear about the day I met Jackie," Donna smirked. Donna talked about the time that Jackie bragged about being richer, Donna then throwing a ball at her.
"No, no, that's a stupid story, I want to remember the happy times!" Jackie insisted.
Lucy shrugged, "What happy times? We're in Point Place!"
"Maybe something romantic?" Jackie suggested.
Kelso stood up, "Oh, like our first date!"
The couple's first date dated all the way back to 1968 in the Forman's basement where Kelso and Jackie were playing doctor under the fort.
"Michael! That was not our first date!" Jackie said.
Kelso shrugged, "Yeah but I got further on that day than our actual first date, so that's the date I like to remember."
"I'm not making that my quote," Lucy frowned.
"Yeah, you made a great impression on my parents that year," Eric said sarcastically. Remembering the time Kelso came over pantless.
"Everyone can think of a quote! Why can't we?" Donna asked.
"It's not that we can't think of one, it's just everything has already been said!" Lucy sighed.
"Why don't we use Lisa Manning's?" Hyde suggested. "Hanging at the mall. Kahlua and ice cream. Bobby Sutton's a god. Yeah."
"God this is so sad. It's like, what have we been doing with our lives?" Eric asked.
"Now you know how I feel 24/7!" Lucy sighed, laying back on the desk.
❁
The only thing the gang could remember doing with their lives was sitting in The Circle. Even before it was what they used for their "recreational" purposes.
Even back in '68, when it was just used for innocent card games. Young Hyde turned to Kelso, "Hey, Kelso, who's got stronger powers? I Dream of Jeannie or Samantha from Bewitched?"
"That's easy, Samantha," Kelso said with zero hesitation. "Witches totally beat genies, 'cause witches can fly. Game over."
Innocent Eric brought up a valid point, "Hey, why does Jeannie wear those see-through clothes? It's gross. It makes me feel funny."
Young Lucy smiled in victory, "Well, while you guys have been having this pointless arguement, I won the game. You all owe me your desserts at lunch for a week!"
❁
Then there was back in 1973, the gang still in The Circle, still talking about pointless things.
This time, Hyde in x-ray glasses turns to the guys at the table, "No way is Samantha hotter than Jeannie. Hey, I heard they made an episode that never aired, where Jeannie gets totally naked. The government banned it."
Kelso, with googly-eyed glasses laughed, "All I know is, with one little nose twitch, Samantha's clothes could be off! And that's hot!"
Less innocent Eric, with disguise-glasses and mustache mods, "What if you didn't have to choose? What if you could be with both at the same time?"
"Is that legal?" Kelso asked dumbfounded.
"Hey man, if you don't get caught, everything is legal!" Hyde smirked.
Lucy took off her peace sign glasses and snagged Hyde's x-ray ones, "Yeah, see I didn't get caught stealing his glasses so it's legal."
"We literally all just saw you," Eric pointed out.
"Ah, but dear brother, you are not the authorities," Lucy smirked. "Also, I can see you have no brains, Kelso has nice abs, and Steven has a really small package," she smiled evilly as she pretended to use the x-ray glasses.
"Give them back!" Hyde said, reaching over to steal them back from Lucy, who was smacking him away.
❁
Even in good old 1978 the gang was still in The Circle. Lucy and Hyde still wrestling to get ahold of his aviators.
Eric, eating pretzels, now slightly baked scoffed, "Guys, this conversation is over. Yesterday, Samantha went back in time. That trumps anything Jeannie ever did."
Kelso, very baked spoke up, "Oh, yeah? Well, Jeannie can freeze time. So, Samantha would go back and Jeannie could just freeze her there. Who kicked whose ass then?"
Hyde, now in his aviators, "You know what would decide this whole thing? A little Samantha-on-Jeannie mud wrestling. I'd pay a dollar to see that."
"You guys are absolute pigs," Lucy huffed, shoving Hyde off his chair and taking his spot with a victorious smirk as she picked up the blunt.
Now The Circle had it's complete quartet of guys with the addition of Fez, "All I know is, Samantha helps Darrin at work, but what does Jeannie do for Major Nelson? Turns his boss into a monkey! This is not helpful."
Donna sat down beside Eric, her arm around his shoulder, "I gotta call Major Nelson's sexuality into question here. I mean, any guy who's got a half-naked genie, he's got her doing more than his laundry." She nodded as she took some pretzels.
Jackie now sat on Kelso's lap, "Hey, you know what would be best? Samantha's hair, Jeannie's pretty bottle room and Wonder Woman's accessories," she made gunfire noises as she held up her wrists.
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