Hyde and Lucy walked back to her house from The Hub, sharing a soda.

"So is Eric still a mess?" Hyde asked.

Lucy shrugged, "I'm not sure, didn't see him this morning, he seemed a little better yesterday." Eric had spent an entire weekend in bed, not even going to Funland after his breakup with Donna.

Hyde took the soda from Lucy to take a drink, "So I'm guessing we're not telling anyone yet."

Lucy sighed, "Yeah, it's probably best. It would feel wrong, Eric claims he sees Donna's name in alphabet cereal. And there's not just Eric, Donna is my best friend." She broke out in a mischievous smile, "Plus side, we an have a scandalous secret for a while longer."

"Ooh LSD, you're speaking my language," Hyde chuckled, pulling her closer with an arm around her waist as he passed her the soda.

❁

The gang sat in the basement, everything was surprisingly normal, Eric had finally gotten out of bed and shaved. Everything was as it usually was, except Donna was missing.

They were just fooling around, playing cards, Lucy trying to cheat when Donna walked in.

"Wow! Donna, you look great!" Jackie exclaimed, "What could it be? Oh I know! You lost 80 pounds of ugly fat!" She laughed, turning to Eric, "Burn, Eric, burn!"

"Okay, first of all, I weigh 130–40–9 pounds!" Eric kept changing his answer.

Lucy laughed, "Quit lying to yourself," Eric rolled his eyes while Lucy leaned forward to mouth "115," to Jackie.

"Yeah, you look good too Eric. You lost your one true love, so...Looking good," Fez complimented uncomfortably.

Donna spoke up, "Eric I found these records of yours and I thought you might want them back."

"Ah, the unpleasant exchange of possessions after the horrific break up," Hyde nodded while Eric got up to take the records, "Awkward for them, entertaining for us."

Lucy hummed, "You know, you'd be a pretty good narrator, you know the annoying one where the audience is like Just shut up already!" she teased with an innocent smile when he sneered at her.

"Whoa, shut up, Don Krishner's starting!" Kelso exclaimed, walking over the couch, stepping on Lucy in the process to get to the tv.

"Oh right, Paul McCartney and Wings are on tonight," Donna said, sitting beside Lucy.

"Oh my gosh, I've had this marked on my calendar forever!" Lucy squealed, Hyde unable to hide his smile as he watched her get excited.

Eric stood behind the couch awkwardly where all the girls sat, there were no more places for him to sit, "Okay, so...Okay, we're all here now. So, um, so Donna you're staying?"

"Okay," Donna nodded.

Eric cleared his throat, "What I meant to say was—Look, Donna, I don't think it's cool if it hang out here."

All three girls turned around to look at Eric like he was an idiot and Donna spoke up, "So what, you're like, kicking me out?"

Eric just shuffled his feet awkwardly and Donna sighed, "Wow, okay then, bye," she said before walking out the basement door.

Jackie huffed as she stood up, "Well, if you're kicking her out, then you're kicking me out."

"No, Jackie, no," Eric said with fake concern, "Oh wait I mean, bye!" he yelled.

Jackie stormed out and Lucy sighed standing up, "I'm gonna whisper some words of wisdom, let it the hell be!" she yelled before storming out, muttering "Paul McCartney is supposed to bring people together not tear them apart!" under her breath.

❁

"Well, that's not fair! He doesn't, like, get my friends 'cause he has some stupid, crappy basement!" Donna yelled, pacing in her living room.

"Right! You helped make that basement what it is today!" Jackie said.

Lucy nodded, "Without us there, that basement will fall apart!"

"Right! No one would even go over there before me and Lucy did!" Donna reminded them, "It smelled like feet."

"I still don't know why it smelled like that and that scares me," Lucy nodded, disgusted.

"Donna, you have to fight back!" Jackie insisted, "Okay, when a couple splits up, the woman deserves her fair share of the life she helped build."

"How much is that?" Donna asked.

Jackie scoffed, "All of it! Donna it's the law!"

Donna and Lucy nodded in agreement, "Jackie, you could be a killer divorce attorney," Lucy said.

"Thank you!" Jackie said excited.

"You know, normally this stuff would bug me, but now that I'm single and pissed, you're making a lot of sense!" Donna nodded.

❁

Everyone piled out of the El Camino at the Forman's house, about to go to the basement when Donna ran over.

"Psst," she whispered, "What are you guys doing today?"

"We're going to the basement," Fez whispered.

Donna nodded with a mischievous smile, "Hmm, sounds fun. But you know what sounds like even more fun?"

"Oh! Playing with a bunch of monkeys?" Kelso exclaimed.

"Well, yeah," Donna said confused before continuing, "But we got cable tv at my house which we all know has the potential for flashes of brief nudity. Nudity!"

The boys nodded in contemplation.

"Cable?" Jackie asked, "Oh! You are so going to win this breakup!" Jackie squealed.

Fez shook his head, "Now wait just a minute, Eric is our friend, our brother. We cannot just abandon him for nude boobs."

"Good point Fez," Hyde turned to Donna, "This nudity you speak of, we talking full frontal?" Hyde asked.

Lucy scoffed and slapped his chest lightly, rolling her eyes when he caught her hand and smirked down at her.

"Does it matter?" Donna asked.

"No, let's go," Hyde said, pulling Lucy along as she dragged her feet, hesitant since she didn't want to hurt her brother or her friend. Fez staying behind.

❁

Everyone sat crowded on the couch while Donna got more snacks.

"Oh! Look! There's a boob!" Kelso pointed excitedly.

"There's two," Fez gawked, eating a corndog, "Oh, wait, four! It's the motherload!"

"Oh, man, guy butt. Look away," Hyde cringed, covering Lucy's eyes with his hand. Jackie and Lucy shared a confused look.

"You okay?" Hyde asked in a whisper after seeing the unsettled look on Lucy's face.

Lucy nodded slowly, "It's just...I don't want anyone to think I'm picking sides."

"Don't worry about it, they'll get over it," Hyde shrugged and Lucy laughed at the simplicity of his words.

Lucy shook her head, "Yeah, you know—it's gonna be fine. Let's just watch cable and flashes of guy abs."

"You're checking out the guy's abs?" Hyde asked, confused and offended.

Lucy shrugged casually, "You're checking out the girls' boobs."

Hyde thought for a moment before nodding, "Fair enough."

Just then Eric came through the door, "Oh! There are all my friends! And my sweet, sweet traitor sister! Hey Donna, I found these socks of yours, so I thought I'd just, you know, run them right over." He handed the socks to Donna before climbing over the back of the couch, pushing Lucy as he sat down.

"Oh real mature," Lucy sneered.

"Says you," Eric hissed.

"Yes, says me you dillweed," Lucy bickered.

Everyone was squished on the couch more than before now, Eric smushed between Fez and Lucy, who was practically on Hyde's lap now.

"Eric you can't hang out here," Donna said, "It's really uncomfortable so..."

"Uncomfortable?" Eric asked with a fake smile, "Who's uncomfortable?" Everyone slowly raised their hands. "Oh fine," Eric sighed, getting up.

❁

Everyone sat back in the Forman's basement once Bob had annoyed them out of Donna's house.

"Welcome home friends! Who wants popsicles?" Eric smiled.

The boys raised their hands and Jackie turned to Kelso, "I don't feel good about this."

"Well, would you rather be at Donna's singing backup to Cha Cha D'Amore?" Kelso asked.

Lucy sulked in her seat, pouting, she felt like a child of divorced parents.

"Oh, well would you look who's here," Eric smirked as Donna stormed in the basement.

"That was a dirty trick, Forman," Donna accused.

Eric shrugged, "Well, I'd love to stay and talk about it but we're on our way to the movies."

"Fine," Donna placed her hands on her hips, "Then I'm taking them bowling Saturday."

"Oh! What a fun weekend!" Fez cheered.

Lucy cringed, "I feel like I'm in purgatory."

"Yeah," Hyde nodded, "Hey, you guys can't buy our loyalties with these little field trips. You're gonna have to start buying us stuff we can take home."

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Hyde out of the corner of her eye. But then the others sat down and took out a schedule so they could organize when they could split up time between Eric and Donna.

❁

After a chaotic weekend of back and forth between Donna and Eric, the two had finally worked it out to be in the same room as eachother—with some seating changes to the basement that had Eric and Donna as far from each other as possible and putting Fez on the dryer.

"Okay, this new seating arrangement should really work," Eric nodded.

They finally had a moment of peace when Bob burst in, "There you kids are, I think I finally remembered the punchline to the Italian midget joke!"

"You unleashed it," Lucy whispered to Eric.

"My mom made fish," Kelso jumped up off the couch and ran for the door.

"I gotta register for the draft," Hyde said, getting up and going for the door when Lucy grabbed his hand.

"Right, but you had to get your papers from my room," she said quickly, pulling him behind her.

"Oh right, this way," he nodded, quickly running up the stairs.

Jackie jumped, running for the kitchen. Followed by Eric who said he had to count his G.I. Joes. Anything to get away from Bob.

❁