Lucy walked out to the driveway, towards Eric, Hyde, and Fez standing by the Cruiser with a purse in hand.

"Then let's haul ass to Canada!" Fez exclaimed.

"Fez, shh, if my Dad finds out that we're going to Canada—uh, for beer, no less—he's gonna start killing people okay? People like us," Eric warned.

"Oh little brother!" Lucy sang.

Eric sighed, "Son of a bitch."

"There's no way you were thinking of leaving without inviting me, right?" Lucy asked sweetly.

Eric turned to face his sister, "Of course not Luce!"

"Good! 'Cause I already have my stuff!" Lucy exclaimed, shoving her purse towards Eric.

"Uh, how'd you know?" Eric asked confused.

Lucy walked over by Hyde, who put his arm around her shoulder, "Steven invited me since obviously you weren't going to."

"Huh," Eric narrowed his eyes, slightly confused, "Fine whatever, just keep it down we don't need Dad on our ass," Eric reminded them.

Just then Kelso came running through the garage, "Alright! Canada! Whoo-hoo! Beer!" he yelled before blowing an air horn.

The four looked at him in annoyance, "Kelso you're not going," Eric said.

"What? Why not?" Kelso whined.

"Because this is a risky mission, you tend to screw these things up," Hyde said.

Lucy nodded, "We should start a pool on how quickly Kelso can screw things up!"

"Is five minutes too soon?" Fez asked.

"It's never too soon Fez!" Lucy smiled.

"Hey, that is a damnable lie!" Kelso defended himself.

"Okay," Eric said stepping forward, "Kelso, remember that time we were going to put a flaming bag of dog poop in front of Principal Pridwell's door and...you lit in the car on the way over?"

Kelso nodded, "Yeah, I wanted to see it all flamey."

"And then you panicked and stepped on it?" Eric continued.

"Eric, it was on fire!" Kelso yelled dumbly.

"Point proven," Lucy nodded.

"Not going," Eric agreed.

Kelso began to bargain, "No, no, no, fine, I won't use the air horn, and I'll pay for the gas...and the beer."

Hyde, Lucy, and Fez looked at Eric expectantly before he said, "I can't stay mad at you, come on, you big lug!"

"The trip wouldn't be right without everyone's favorite lovable idiot!" Lucy exclaimed.

The teens went to pile into the Cruiser only to see Leo sitting in the back. "Hey dudes! Dudette!" Leo greeted.

"Did you invite him too?" Lucy stood on her tiptoes to whisper.

"Nope," Hyde shook his head, "Leo, man, what are you doing here?"

"Sitting, what are you doing here?" Leo countered.

"We're going to Canada to buy beer," Hyde said nonchalantly.

Leo nodded, "Canada, cool. I spent some time up there during 'Nam."

"Oh, conscientious objector, huh?" Eric asked.

Leo shook his head, "No, I didn't mind. Hey, road trip sounds good, man. But I don't want nothing to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man."

"It's so much funnier that you don't see the irony," Lucy shook her head, smiling.

"Okay, let's get going," Eric sighed.

"We're gonna run out of seats," Lucy whined.

Eric shrugged, "Well you could, I don't know, not come."

"Oh, that's a great idea," Lucy feigned agreement, "I guess while I'm at it, I could always, I don't know, send Dad after you like a bloodhound."

Eric laughed nervously, "What are you talking about? Get in the car you silly..." his fake smile fell.

"Oh don't tell me Crap Shoes is coming," Leo complained, looking towards Kelso.

"The bag was on fire!" Kelso defended himself once more.

Lucy just laughed at the stupidity of her friends as she shut the door, sitting beside Hyde in the back.

❁

The gang had made it to Canada without much problem, they even got the beer without a hitch.

As they were at a resting point, the guys admiring the load of beer they got, Lucy and Hyde slipped away to go unbothered by the others.

"Thanks for inviting me on the trip," Lucy mumbled in between kisses, a smirk on her lips.

Hyde laughed slightly, "Well yeah, you know scenery and...stuff," he trailed off, breaking the kiss to place kisses along her neck.

And then they heard the rustling of trees as Kelso yelled, "Guys!"

The two broke away quickly, Lucy huffed, fixing her hair, "Dammit Kelso what?"

"I've peed in two countries now!" Kelso announced

"Wow Kelso that's great," Hyde said monotone.

"Come on, I'm gonna go tell the others!" Kelso said, running off.

Hyde and Lucy looked at one another before walking off, his arm around her waist.

"Hey Steven guess what?" Lucy asked, mockingly.

Hyde laughed, shaking his head, "What?"

"We've made out in two countries!" Lucy smirked.

Hyde just rolled his eyes, pulling her closer to kiss the top of her head.

They met up with the others just as Kelso revealed that he whizzed in two countries, the others equally as unimpressed.

"Alright, let's get going," Hyde said, shutting the trunk to the Cruiser.

Eric nodded, "We were just waiting on you guys, where'd you run off to?"

Lucy shrugged as she adjusted her skirt, "Scenery and stuff."

"Huh," Eric said, suspicious again.

Hyde nodded, "But were almost at the border, so everyone's got their id's right?"

"Hmm," Eric said, still studying his twin, feeling as if she wasn't telling him everything.

Everyone quickly checked their pockets and Lucy peeked in her purse in the backseat, everyone nodding.

Except for Fez, "Oh no! I think I lost my Green Card!"

"Damn! Fez, where's the last place you had it?" Eric asked.

"If I knew that, I would have it now, you son of a bitch!" Fez exclaimed.

"Hey, Fez, take it easy," Kelso said calmly.

Fez yelled, spinning around, "No, you take it easy! They're going to throw me in Canadian jail! Have you seen Midnight Express? It's like that but with hockey sticks!"

"Great, now we're screwed!" Hyde sighed.

"Oh boys, what do you think I'm here for?" Lucy asked.

After some difficulty and flexibility on Fez's end, Hyde replaced the last pack of beer, blocking in Fez who was now covered with a blanket.

"What if I can't breathe?" Fez asked worriedly.

Leo tried to reassure him, "Just take a deep breath, man, and visualize yourself breathing."

"Leo, man, that only works with goals and aspirations," Lucy reminded him.

"Then tell him to aspire to breath!" Leo shrugged.

Hyde shut the trunk once more, "Alright, when we get to the checkpoint, everyone just act cool. And by everyone, I mean Mr. Crap Shoes!"

"It was on fire!" Kelso said the third time that day.

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows, "Does that make it a literal burn?"

"Hey! Do not use those against me!" Kelso said offended.

❁

They pulled up the checkpoint, everyone wondering if their plan would work or if Kelso would screw it up.

"Alright, just act cool. We got nothing to hide," Hyde reminded them.

"You got something to hide, eh?" The border patrol asked, leaning down to the window.

"No, no, uh, he said we've got nothing to hide," Eric clarified.

"Well, around here we don't make a point of saying we got nothing to hide if we've really got nothing to hide," the patrol said, suspicious.

"Wow, cultural differences, wow," Eric played it off.

Lucy nodded, "Yup, that's us, silly Americans!" she tried to stifle her nervous laughter, Hyde patting her on the back as she pretended to cough.

"We're all Americans! Every one of us!" Kelso said.

"All right, move along," the patrol nodded.

Everyone sighed in relief before a bottle cap popped.

"Stop right there," the patrol demanded, opening the trunk and moving the blanket to reveal Fez.

"Hey!" Fez greeted nervously, "You found me! You win a beer!"

❁

The teens and Leo sat in small room around the table, being detained.

"See? Beer is evil! I'm not going to say I told you so, man, but I will say this—I told you so, man," Leo nodded, walking away.

"Wow, so helpful Leo!" Lucy said sarcastically, resting her head back in her hands.

"Beer never hurt anyone, my friends," one of the guards said, "You're well within the legal limit on that."

The other chimed in, "But, you're well over the limit on foreign kids you can smuggle out of this country."

Kelso stood up, "Well what is the legal limit on that? We only had one foreign kid."

"The limit is zero, you hoser," the man quipped.

"Damn it," Kelso sighed.

"Hey, I'd keep a civil tongue in my head if I were you. We could throw you in jail right now! We're the Mounties, we answer to no one," the guard threatened.

"Look," Eric began to explain, "Fez just lost his Green Card. We just—We didn't want any trouble."

"Lost Green Card? Seems a little convenient, eh?" the taller guard questioned.

"You got us," Hyde spoke up, "We're here to take over you're country."

Lucy rolled her eyes at the boy beside her while Eric laughed nervously, "I know it seems funny when you say stuff like that, but um don't!"

"No one leaves until we get answers, eh?" One of the men said, leaning down.

"Eh?" The other chorused, leaning down to the others as well.

"Eh?" They repeated together, standing up.

"Kill me, eh?" Lucy muttered under her breath.

❁

"What are you doing in Canada?" The men questioned Lucy, as the boys sat at the other side of the room.

Lucy shrugged nervously, "Passing through? Pretty scenery...Oh and beer!"

"What's your business in Canada?" They asked.

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows since they just reworded it, "Pretty scenery and beer?"

"What's your reason for coming to Canada, eh?" the Mountie asked.

Lucy sighed, but answered once more, not wanting any trouble, "Scenery. And. Beer."

❁

"You guys are in real trouble if you did what we think you did," the Mountie bluffed.

Eric looked at Lucy confused before looking back at the Mounties, "What do you think we did?"

"What do you think we think you did?" The smaller Mountie countered.

Lucy stood up with a sigh, "Look, you can't reword a question and pretend it's a different one and you sure can't answer a question with a question."

"No, Lucy wait," Hyde said seriously, pulling her to the seat beside him, "What do you think we think you think we did?"

"Something involving a foreign kid in the back of a car. That much is for sure," the Mountie answered.

"And now we're going to get some answers," the other Mountie chimed.

"What are you gonna do? Torture us?" Hyde challenged.

Kelso nodded, "Yeah, you gonna make us listen to Anne Murray records?"

"Hey she's a wonderful performer! And you're not funny!" the man said defensively.

The second Mountie nodded, "No, no I think what we're gonna do is call...your parents."

"Ooh Red is going to kill you!" Fez said quickly, "I mean ooby, dibby, dooby."

The man reached for the phone and Kelso quickly jumped up, "No! We had to smuggle Fez. It was the only way for him to see this great country! With its spacious skies and...fruited waves of—plain. And..." he stammered before beginning to sing, "O Canada, our home and native land—"

"Nice try kid," the Mountie said skeptically.

Everyone began singing in a last ditch effort, "True patriot love in all thy sons' command—"

"It's not gonna work," the tall Mountie insisted.

"With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the true North strong as..." they trailed off, no one else remembered the rest, until Leo stood up, "From far and wide, O Canada! We stand on guard for thee! God keep our land," they all stood together now, singing with the guards, "Glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!"

With the anthem finished the Mountie looked at them, "You sure are good kids."

"Thanks, man," Leo nodded.

"You know there must be some way to put this all behind us," the tall Mountie suggested.

"Yeah," the second nodded, "But there's not."

"Beer!" Lucy yelled, struck with realization.

"We'll give you our beer!" Kelso nodded.

The Mountie gasped, "God bless you!"

Fez pulled a card out of his shoe, "My Green Card! I hid it in my right shoe for safekeeping! I even made up a rhyme so I would remember: My Green Card in my right shoe, something something right shoe."

The Mountie snatched the Green Card from Fez and Eric sighed, "So see it was just a big misunderstand!"

Hyde chuckled, "Thank God we got that cleared up, were just gonna grab our beer and head on outta here."

"Yeah, but you're not getting your beer back. Now, leave Canada please," the Mountie said, opening the door.

"Really Fez, you couldn't find your card five seconds earlier?" Lucy hissed as they all walked out.

❁