Lucy, Eric, Donna, and Hyde were gathered outside leaning against the Cruiser.

"Hey check it out I got an F on my report card," Donna said.

"An F what'd you fail?" Eric asked concerned.

"English!" Donna nodded.

"Isn't that what we speak?" Eric asked.

"I got a B in Spanish!" Hyde said. "When did I start taking Spanish?" Hyde asked confused.

"Last semester. How have you not failed everything?" Lucy sneered.

"What'd you get?" Hyde snatched her card. "All A's? Nerd!"

"Nerd who's going to get accepted to Stanford and Yale and everywhere else, unlike you," she stuck her tongue out at him. "What's that smell?"

They all turned to see Donna with a cigarette.

"Donna! That's a cigarette!" Eric yelled.

"Even worse, it's a menthol!" Hyde said in disgust.

"Donna come on put it out, you'll get suspended," Lucy said.

"When did you start smoking?" Eric asked.

"Well you just saw me light it," Donna said.

"Okay smartass!" Lucy raised her eyebrows.

"Come on Donna you know smoking causes cancer," Eric reminded her.

"I know, but it makes me look cool, so it's an even trade," Donna shrugged.

"Well drinking makes people look cool but it's not cool when their guts are spilled over the highway," Lucy said in disbelief over Donna's new habit.

"Hold this," she asked, passing the cigarette to Eric, who held it away from himself awkwardly.

"Oh geez Forman, hold it like a man would you!" Hyde said.

"Shut up!" Eric yelled.

"Don't pressure him," Lucy yelled at Hyde.

Eric leaned against the car, holding the cigarette normally. "Wow Donna first you fail English now you're smoking? Can I ask you what you're doing?"

"Smoking. Failing," Donna quipped.

Just then, an administrator walked out, "Wow Forman, smoking on school property?"

"No that's not his, that's mine," Donna spoke up.

"No it's mine," Eric said, placing the cigarette in his mouth, "Mmm, menthol."

"Eric quit it," Donna and Lucy hissed.

"Yeah, okay let's go Forman," the administrator grabbed Eric by the arm and pulled him into the building.

Hyde bent down to pick up the cigarette, "Dios mio, no es bueno."

"Hijo de puta," Lucy hissed, snatching the cigarette from his mouth, crushing it with her boot as she stormed away.

❁

They sat around a table in The Hub, while Lucy stood behind the counter, she had gotten a job while Red was unemployed and had successfully kept it from her parents. The management sucked so they let her work whenever she wanted to.

Lucy brought around a basket of fries to the table, wearing a little name tag and a red serving apron around her waist that Frank insisted she wear.

"Forman's first suspension. I'm so proud!" Hyde exclaimed.

"Yeah you would be," Lucy raised her eyebrows.

"Man, you know, working here has made you way more annoying," Hyde snapped.

"Yeah working with idiotic customers like you is a real pain in the ass," Lucy retorted.

"Guys, can you please drop it?" Eric begged.

"No way, back up, why'd he get suspended?" Kelso asked.

"Because he's stupid," Donna said.

"They can do that?" Kelso asked nervously.

"Can I get some service over here!" A man at the counter asked.

"Yeah, one second," Lucy called.

"He told them it was his cigarette and that's stupid!" Donna said.

"Almost as stupid as you smoking in the first place!" Lucy smirked, taking a fry.

"Oh please stop, don't fall over yourself thanking me," Eric said.

"I didn't need your help," Donna sighed.

"Yeah Forman I think she wants to get in trouble. It's Donna little cry for help. Help me! Help me!" Hyde mocked Donna. "We hear you Donna! And we love you."

"Service please!" The man called again annoyed.

"I said one second!" Lucy snapped rudely. She was honestly surprised she hadn't been fired.

"Employee of the month right here," Hyde teased.

"At least I have a job!" Lucy said. "You know Eric, Dad's gonna kill you."

"Oh wow, thanks sis, I hadn't thought of that yet!" Eric said sarcastically.

Lucy rolled her eyes, pushing herself up to serve the poor customer.

Donna stormed out of The Hub and Fez and Jackie came in with a large suitcase. Lucy looked at the gang curiously and went back over as soon as the last customer left. Jackie led the moping Kelso out of The Hub.

"What's happening?" Lucy asked.

"So my host parents set me up on a blind date and she has a friend for you Hyde," Fez explained.

"Finally, somebody to love," Hyde nodded.

"And it gets better, they're not even blind!" Fez joked. "Get it? Blind," he explained when no one laughed. "Screw you that's funny."

"Who's the girl? I have to tell the poor girl to ditch the date," Lucy teased.

"At least I have a date," Hyde sneered.

"That got set up for you!" Lucy yelled.

"See this is why people think you're undesirable," Hyde said with a fake smile.

"If I'm undesirable to guys like you, then good!" Lucy smiled sarcastically, eating a French fry.

❁

"Congratulations Eric, you got suspended," Red said sarcastically at the dinner table. "Are you getting dumber?"

"Gee I don't think so. Look Dad, I don't smoke," Eric explained.

"It's true, he was just holding it-" Lucy started to defend Eric.

"Save it Lucy! Let him defend himself," Red held up his hand.

"Daddy, if Eric's a smoker and and he lies about smoking doesn't that make him a smoking liar?" Laurie smiled evilly.

"Okay you know what, that's enough! Eric have some more pot roast, here's some mashed potatoes," Kitty said scooping the food onto Eric's plate. "And here's a photo of a cancerous lung," Kitty handed to Eric.

"Mom gross!" Eric yelled. "Look, I don't smoke!"

"Okay well, either way that's what is going to happen to your lungs if you keep on smoking," Kitty said.

"Well the way he's screwing up his life, death will be a sweet release," Red said.

After a moment of stunned silence Eric said, "So I got that to look forward to."

"You got suspended pal," Red reminded him. "How do you think your college interviews are gonna go?"

Red and Kitty acted out how all his college interviews would go, Kitty coughing dramatically and Red calling him a dumbass once more.

"What a lesson I have learned! Can I go?" Eric asked.

"Sure. Right after you smoke this entire pack of cigarettes," Red pulled out a pack.

"Daddy, come on," Lucy laughed nervously. "He doesn't smoke! I mean I would know!"

"Yay Daddy! Ooh tear out the filters!" Laurie clapped.

"Dad you can't be serious," Eric said.

"Have I ever not been serious?" Red asked.

"Run," Lucy whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

"Dad I'm telling you the truth, you have to take my word for it!" Eric begged. "I don't smoke."

"Your word huh?" Red asked.

"It's all a man has," Eric explained desperately.

"Boy," Lucy corrected involuntarily.

"Well now that's nice," Kitty said.

"What a load of crap! Light up!" Red threw the pack at Eric.

"Daddy! What about second hand smoking?" Lucy asked.

"Don't stand near your idiot of a brother," Red shrugged.

❁

In the kitchen, Lucy sat at the counter, painting her nails trying to be away from her crazy family. She furrowed her eyebrows when her mom walked through the kitchen, startled when she saw Lucy.

"I'm—I'm just going to the garage," Kitty stammered.

Lucy stifled a laugh, "Okay Mom."

Kitty backed away from the glass door slowly and Lucy turned away so Kitty wouldn't feel as if she were being watched.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Eric asked with a smirk and Lucy turned around smiling slightly watching her nervous mother clutch a lit cigarette.

Lucy walked outside, "Come on Mom, lung cancer, Eric and I are still babies, we'll need you," she cooed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Kitty said defensively, "You two just do as I say, not as I do!"

Laurie came outside, "Oh hey Mom cool, give me a drag," she snatched the cigarette from Kitty and Lucy watched amused.

"Okay, see? Laurie is doing as I do, that is wrong," Kitty said.

Red stood beside them "What's going on out here?"

Lucy quickly smacked the cigarette from Laurie's hand and Eric stepped on it to put it out.

"Eric are you smoking again?" Red yelled.

Laurie smiled at their father, "I think he is Daddy."

"Now is not the time to be a bitch," Lucy muttered.

"He is not," Kitty defended Eric.

Eric yelled, "I don't smoke!"

"I think this might be fault. I think he is, he's just imitating me, so he can look cool," Kitty explained.

Donna spoke up, "Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Eric got caught holding my cigarette at school. I'm the one who was smoking."

"Oh," Kitty looked at Red.

Lucy sang under her breath, "Should've taken his word."

"Well Donna thank you for your honesty," Red said calmly.

"What?" Eric said in disbelief, "How can you believe her? I told you I don't smoke!"

"Maybe you should—" Lucy started, nodding her head towards Donna's house.

"Yeah," Donna nodded, "I'm gonna go home now." She quickly walked away to get away from the bickering family.

"Eric's not in trouble now?" Laurie asked sadly, "Fine!" she said before storming off.

"I'm feeling awkward," Lucy rocked on her feet, "So I'm gonna go now," she said before scurrying away.

"Go now honey," Kitty urged her daughter, wishing that she could avoid the awkwardness as well.

❁

Lucy sat in the basement watching a stupid show she wasn't even paying attention to when Hyde walked in.

"Oh no, you didn't score?" she asked with fake sympathy.

"Maybe I did," Hyde shrugged as he walked to his room.

Lucy got up, "You mean to tell me some good little church girl let you touch her? I don't believe it," she said with a smirk, leaning against the doorframe.

"Sweetheart, you're being a bitch," Hyde sighed annoyed.

"I'm being a bitch? Well that's rich coming from the biggest bitch on the planet," Lucy smirked.

Hyde sighed, "Still going on about Halloween? Alright, Halloween wouldn't have mattered if you didn't care what people think," Hyde challenged.

"They would've blown it out of proportion!" Lucy yelled.

Hyde smirked, "Yeah, because that's not what you did at all."

"This is why girls don't like you," Lucy rolled her eyes, starting to turn away.

"I don't know, you didn't seem to mind me, Pam Macy didn't seem to mind—"

Lucy spun around, "Do not bring up Pam Macy!" she said loudly, jabbing her finger at Hyde's chest.

Hyde smirked, satisfied with making her angry, and stepped closer, "Why do you care?"

Lucy hesitated just a moment before she scoffed, "I don't."

She hadn't even noticed that Hyde was just inches away from her, "I don't think you hate me," he whispered.

Lucy couldn't focus, he always did this to her, it always happened, she'd always end up getting frustrated with herself. And out of pure frustration, both emotional and sexual, she closed the gap and kissed him.

It took Hyde a moment before he realized it wasn't a dream and he kissed her back, his hands resting on her waist.

Hyde chuckled slightly, "See you don't hate me."

Lucy internally rolled her eyes, "Shut up," she muttered.

The kiss deepened and they were on his cot, Lucy straddling him. But she had a plan, and even though every part of her told her not to, she pulled away. Lucy got up with a smirk, leaving a dumbfounded Hyde on the cot.

"What?" he asked with a confused smile as he reached to pull her back down.

"I would, but I hate you," and then realization dawned on Hyde. "Have fun with your magazines," Lucy said with an innocent smile as she spun on her heel to go upstairs.

❁