Everyone was crammed in the Cruiser as they aimlessly roamed across town, a waste of gas if you were to ask Lucy but she wasn't the one paying for it.

"Guys can we do something besides cruise? It's the third time tonight we've driven by that house," Hyde complained.

"You know what we could do? We could go skinny dipping!" Kelso suggested. "Naked! That's the way God intended it!"

"No way!" Jackie and Lucy laughed.

"Why not? It'd be fun!" Kelso insisted.

"Well sure, it's fun for you guys! Cause you get to look at us and that's a treat," Donna smirked. "But we just get to look at you and that's nasty."

"But no seriously, I cannot see that part of Eric, I refuse," Lucy shuddered.

"So you guys don't want to do it?" Eric asked.

"Well—I don't care, I'll do it," Donna laughed.

"Okay, I'm in!" Eric said, quickly steering the car.

"Okay! Ground rules! If I see anything below waist of Eric I'm passing out from shock and only one of the girls may catch me. If I feel a snake on me, I will castrate whomever, or everyone—I don't care," Lucy ticked off her fingers and looked up making sure she didn't forget anything, "And!—No that's it," she shrugged.

❁

Next thing they knew, everyone was in the car, naked and annoyed.

Jackie was wringing her hair out, Donna had her arms crossed over her chest and Lucy pulling her hair in front in hopes of covering herself.

The four boys were all pushed in the back. Lucy and Eric had a long argument about who would drive and Lucy won out after threatening to tell Red.

"This is such a great idea Michael! This is so much fun!" Jackie said sarcastically. "Oh wait! Except for the part where our clothes got stolen you idiot!"

"By the way Fez, nice tattoo man!" Hyde complimented.

"Thank you! Do you want to see her dance?"

"No!" everyone yelled.

"Steven Hyde! Michael Kelso! Sit in your seats and stop looking up here!" Lucy yelled slapping the boys away. "We need a plan! I do not want poor Eric to get murdered for driving to the house with a car full of naked people."

"Yeah, we need to get you guys dressed," Eric nodded frantically.

"We can go to my house," Hyde offered.

"Yeah, your mom is used to having naked guys around," Kelso laughed.

"She's not even home you moron!" Hyde yelled as he punched Kelso.

❁

The boys sat in Hyde's living room as the girls were in Edna's room changing.

They were combing through her clothes, Jackie and Lucy unable to find anything because Edna was a bustier woman, with revealing clothing. Donna was able to find something to wear easily.

The three walked out of Edna's room, Jackie and Lucy clutching their towels.

"Lucy, Jackie you couldn't find anything?" Hyde asked.

"Ok, no offense Hyde, but all your mother's clothes are whorey," Jackie explained.

"What?" Donna asked.

"Oh but they look great on you Donna!" Jackie reassured her.

"What she means to say is that Jackie and I are smaller than your mother," Lucy jabbed Jackie in the ribs. "Steven, I'm stealing a shirt."

"Alright," Hyde shrugged.

Lucy walked back out in one of Hyde's band shirts that came down to her knees, snatching the beer from Hyde's hand and being pulled into his lap as she chuckled.

"I think I caught something at the reservoir," Jackie explained.

"Like an eel?" Kelso laughed.

"Not that you idiot! I think I'm sick!"

"Oh I caught an eel!" Fez said.

"Fezzie, no, no," Lucy shook her head. Jackie and Kelso left and took Fez.

"Steven, how long has Edna been gone?" Lucy asked concerned.

"I don't know, a couple weeks?" Hyde shrugged. "But it's great, color tv, beer, no yelling Edna, no adults," Hyde whispered suggestively.

Lucy laughed, "In your dreams!"

Hyde nodded, "I can live with that."

Lucy rolled her eyes and shoved him as they watched a show.

❁

Eric and Lucy sat in the Vista Cruiser.

"You know, we really shouldn't bother him," Eric said, tapping the wheel incessantly.

"It's fine, just don't say anything stupid," Lucy said, opening the door.

The twins stood outside the screen door and watched as Hyde angrily hung up the phone and threw it across the room.

"Hi Forman, LSD," Hyde nodded.

"Hey," the two said unsurely.

"Come on in, make yourself at home. I'm out of beer but if you want you can break something."

The twins pushed open the frail screen door. "Actually, I had my eye on the phone," Eric said awkwardly.

"Steven, what's that?" Lucy asked, looking at a plate.

"It's crackers with ketchup on top for zest," Hyde said casually.

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna guess that Edna's not coming back," Eric said hesitantly.

"No man, she's just been delayed a little bit," Hyde said falling down on the couch.

Eric sat down on the chair, "Oh okay, didn't there used to be a tv there?"

"Yeah I pawned it," Hyde answered, wrapping his arm around Lucy as she curled into his side, trying to comfort him.

"You pawned your mom's tv? Hyde she's not coming back," Eric said.

"Okay, she's not coming back all right?" Hyde admitted.

Lucy sat up, Hyde's arm still around her as she played with his curls. "What now?" she asked softly.

"Sell the house," Hyde shrugged.

"You rent," Eric pointed out.

"Guess I'm in more trouble than I thought," Hyde joked, standing up and pushing Lucy away.

"Hyde I'm serious here!" Eric yelled.

"Steven we want to help," Lucy said.

"I'll be fine, you're the ones that need help!"

"Fine, we brought you this sandwich," Eric said handing him the bag.

"Fine I'll take your sandwich," Hyde caved. "After this no more help."

Lucy and Eric sighed and looked at eachother, not sure how they could help Hyde.

❁

"Eric, Lucy, I'm sure she's not abandoning Steven," Kitty reassured the twins. "She's his mother."

"Mom, her exact words were I know I'm your mother but I'm abandoning you Steven," Eric explained.

"This is the woman that blames him for ruining her career of dancing with dolphins or some crap because she got pregnant!" Lucy added.

"Well that doesn't sound very good. No sirree Red!" Kitty redirected the topic.

"Look kids, you know I'd like to help Steven. I'm a giver. But you can't squeeze blood from a stone."

"Well we could pop over there just to check up on him," Kitty mentioned.

"No I'm not going over there that's final! I am not Santa Claus!" Red yelled.

"Well thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You'd scare the hell out of children!" Kitty retorted.

❁

Red and Kitty did actually end up going to check on Hyde, after Lucy's unending pleading. And they actually came home with him.

"Red really yelled at me!" Hyde paced the basement.

"Yeah, get used to that," Eric smirked on the couch.

Lucy bit her thumb to keep from laughing, she was just relieved that everything turned out ok.

"This blows man. When I was living at home I didn't have to answer to anybody, I made my own rules! You screwed me Forman! I told you this was none of your business!" Hyde complained.

"Don't look at me, it was Lucy who sighed and said nothing was the matter for an hour straight and then wouldn't stop asking my parents if they knew how you were doing," Eric shrugged.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "I didn't want to get a newsflash saying Local Boy Found Dead from Ketchup Food Poisoning."

"Steven, Lucy, Eric!" Kitty called as she came down the stairs. "Here's your cocoa!"

"Thanks Mrs. Forman!" Hyde said cheerily as she went around kissing the three's heads.

"You're lucky I don't kick your ass!" Hyde said.

"Yeah I'm sure," Lucy laughed.

"You gonna eat your cookies?" Hyde asked, Eric laughed as he dumped his plate of cookies onto Hyde's plate.

❁

The Formans sat in the kitchen for breakfast with the new addition of Hyde. Kitty danced around the kitchen to the radio as she served the table.

She set down a plate of piping hot waffles in the center of the table. "Wow thanks, Mrs. Forman. You know we never had waffles at my house. My mom always said a waffle iron was a luxury, like pillow cases or not getting hit. Man this is so cool!" Hyde exclaimed happily.

The Forman family all exchanged worried glances. "Well you are welcome Steven. See, Eric, I told you I was cool!" Kitty said.

"Eric, did you tell your mother that she's not cool?" Red asked.

"Well, I—" Eric stuttered.

"Well stop telling your mother that she's not cool!" Red yelled.

"Fine. Mom, you're super fly," Eric said sarcastically. Lucy snickered beside her twin.

"Thanks honey. Steven, would you like maple syrup or blueberry syrup?" Kitty leaned down.

"You have syrup?" Hyde asked bewildered. "Man, I love it here."

"And we love having you here man. You're like the brother I never had!" Eric said. "I mean I have my sisters but ehh, so this is great!"

Lucy punched Eric in the shoulder, who massaged it on instinct "I'm not eh, you're lucky to have me!"

"Eric, be nice to your sister! After breakfast I want you to rake the yard!" Red instructed.

"Be nice? She punched m—Nevermind. But rake? I was gonna—" Eric started.

"I'll do it," Hyde offered, taking a bite of bacon.

"Okay Steven!" Red said impressed.

"Oh my God, I love my new brother!" Eric exclaimed, reaching across Lucy to hug him as Hyde pushed him away.

❁

Lucy sat on the stool in the kitchen, reading a book as Kitty was flipping through the school papers from the kids.

"Steven!" Kitty called through the kitchen door.

"What's up?" Hyde asked walking into the kitchen.

"You failed a test?" Kitty asked, holding up the paper with a red F circled on it.

"Um yeah?" Hyde said hesitantly.

Lucy smiled giddily as if she were watching a show.

"Well I'm very disappointed Steven, you have so much more potential!" Kitty said.

"I'm sorry, I'll try harder," Hyde promised, cringing at his own words.

"Lucy dear, help Steven. Make sure he doesn't fail another test," Kitty instructed, turning to her daughter.

"Mom, I'm busy with my own homework," Lucy insisted.

"Perfect, help him with his homework," Kitty nodded.

Lucy gave Hyde a death glare for him causing her to do homework when she could be doing anything else.

"Come on," she mumbled, slinging her bag off the stool beside her.

The two walked down to the basement and saw Donna and Eric making out on the couch.

"Take it outside. I've got to do my homework here Frenchie," Hyde said, coming down the stairs.

Lucy shielded her eyes from the couple with her books, not wanting to see her brother make out with her best friend.

Eric laughed sarcastically, "Good one, now get out."

"No, sadly, he's serious. Mom found out he failed a test," Lucy slammed her books on the table.

"Did she yell at you?" Donna asked Hyde.

"No. But she said she was really disappointed. And then, before I knew what I was doing, I told her I'd try harder," Hyde sighed.

"It's true, his face was hilarious. But I made the mistake of staying in the room and now mom is convinced I can make him reach his potential," Lucy sighed, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"No!" Donna said in disbelief.

"Yeah," Hyde and Lucy said sadly, cracking open their books.

❁

Lucy sat on her bed, doing homework when Kitty called them down for dinner.

The four of them came down the stairs and went to the dining room. "Okay here we all are!" Kitty said happily. Eric and Hyde sat together and Lucy and Laurie sat across from them.

"So honey, how'd you do on your history paper?" Kitty asked.

"Well history, not being—" Eric started.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was talking to Steven," Kitty interrupted.

"Well I must say the studying paid off," Hyde said.

"Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?" Laurie teased.

"No! He got a C minus!" Lucy corrected.

Kitty cheered and Red pat Hyde on the shoulder. "You're welcome!" Lucy mouthed across the table.

"Thank you," Hyde replied silently.

"I got a B!" Eric chimed.

"You couldn't get an A?" Red said disappointed.

"I did," Lucy mumbled, Red heard and looked at her proudly.

"Oh honey, don't listen to your father. You did super. And Steven you did super duper!" Kitty said.

"Why does he get a duper?" Eric asked confused.

"Because we expect more from you!" Red said.

"Give me a break Forman, I don't have a mommy," Hyde said.

"Don't sweat it Eric you can only be as smart as God made you—or didn't!" Laurie taunted.

"All right, Laurie didn't you just flunk out of college?" Eric yelled.

Lucy winced. And the fighting begins.

"Hey get bent twerp!" Laurie sneered.

"Wear a bra!" Eric yelled.

"Calm down!" Lucy hissed.

"Can we please not fight?" Hyde asked.

Eric and Laurie looked at him shocked, "Can we please not fight?" Laurie mocked.

"Can you please not suck?" Eric asked.

"Good one Eric," Laurie chuckled.

"Thank you!"

"Oh my god, can you all shut up!" Lucy yelled, mocking her siblings.

"Now, we're gonna have a nice dinner. And Eric, you try to be more like Steven," Red advised.

Hyde looked around with a cheeky grin. And Eric looked as if his reality had been shattered.

❁

Hyde and Lucy stood at the sink, washing and drying dishes.

"You almost done there Hazel? And...Mrs. Hazel?" Eric insulted stupidly.

Kelso laughed loudly, "See that's funny because Hazel is a maid and Mrs. means you're married!"

Hyde and Lucy looked at Kelso and Fez with fake shock.

"Or you could've called him Alice too," Fez offered.

"Shut up Fez," Hyde threatened, shoving the sponge in his face.

"So pretty tough with that scrubber in your hand huh?" Fez teased.

"Guys, Red and Kitty aren't even here. I mean you're kissing phantom butt!" Eric laughed.

"Okay but the butt I'll be kicking isn't phantom," Lucy spun around. "And you wonder why I'm the favorite."

"You weren't supposed to mention that!" Eric yelled insulted.

"You know what Forman, I used to think Red was a real hardass, but, after doing your chores for the last five days I've come to the conclusion that you're just a lazy spoiled brat," Hyde said calmly.

Fez and Kelso were audibly shocked. "Hazel never talked like that," Fez joked. The four of them snickered.

"Hey! That's not fair! You've been doing them for five days try sixteen years!" Eric pointed out.

"Oh please, I've been doing it for sixteen years and it's not that bad," Lucy said.

"Yeah! Well you get girl chores!"

"Yes, because dusting the entire house is not at all mind-numbing and exhausting to reach the bookshelves," Lucy rolled her eyes.

"I guess I'm just grateful," Hyde said.

"Well stop it! Both of you!" Eric yelled. "You're making me look bad."

"You always looked bad," Lucy retorted.

"Plus you've become like a total drag to hang out with," Kelso added.

"Hey, whatever happened to the psychotic troublemaker that we all know and love? Look, put down the dishes and start doing something stupid and senseless right now!" Eric demanded.

"Forman, I'm a guest here," Hyde reminded him.

"Then fine! I guess I will have to do something stupid," Eric said flabbergasted.

"You always do something stupid," Lucy teased.

"I know something stupid we can do!" Kelso jumped from his seat.

"Kelso, I swear to God if you say to do you again—" Lucy started.

"No, no," Kelso said quickly, "But the offer stands," he said suavely. "Do you have a bowling ball?"

"What?" Eric asked confused.

The five filed into the living room, Eric got their dad's bowling ball and Lucy watched the stupidity unfold in horror.

"Hold it by the thumbhole!" Fez instructed.

"Guys this is a bad idea!" Lucy said, stepping forward.

"How could this possibly go wrong?" Kelso asked, swinging the bowling ball around and almost hitting Lucy. Hyde pushed her behind him just in time.

"Guys come on, cut it out," Hyde said.

"Don't be such a baby, we just want to see how high it'll bounce! Nothing bad can happen!" Kelso defended as he passed the ball to Eric who was standing on the wall behind the couch.

Jackie and Donna came up and watched from the kitchen door, Lucy shot them a look and shook her head, explaining that it wasn't her idea.

"Okay. Forman, man, think. You are listening to Kelso. Don't do it!" Hyde advised.

"Wait, wait, wait. Now you're telling me what to do?" Eric asked.

"Enough talk do it!" Fez clapped.

Lucy stayed behind Hyde, too afraid to watch and repeating over and over, "My twin is an idiot, please God don't let his stupidness rub off on me."

Eric bounced the ball on the couch and instead of bouncing up it bounced out and hit the tv. Everyone looked at it in silence.

"See, I never even thought of that," Kelso winced. "Later," he darted for the door.

Everyone made a mad rush to get out of the Forman household. Leaving Eric standing stupidly above the couch. Hyde looking disappointed and Lucy standing mouth agape and wrapped around Hyde's arm still.

"Eh, maybe they won't notice," Hyde said.

"They'll be too blinded by your stupidity," Lucy nodded.

The two walked upstairs, leaving Eric alone to stress over the mess he made.

❁

Once Red and Kitty got home from their party, everyone was called to stand around what was left of their tv.

"Well it took a really weird hop," Eric explained.

"Why would you drop a bowling ball on the couch?" Red asked.

"Ok, well hindsight being—" Eric started.

"Eric! I don't want to hear anymore of your dumbass excuses! This is the most irresponsible, idiotic thing you have ever done!" Red scolded.

"Actually Red I did it," Hyde spoke up.

"Steven stop!" Lucy hissed.

"You!" Red turned around.

"No, no, no. Dad, Hyde's just covering for me! I did it!" Eric yelled.

"Forman, stop. Red it was me!" Hyde said.

"No it was me!" Eric insisted.

Lucy looked between the two nervously, "It was me!" she yelled.

"What?" Everyone turned to look at her.

"Yeah, I mean, Eric was just covering for me, Twin Code. And do you really think Steven would cover for Eric? He just didn't want either us to get in trouble," she lied.

"Luce, knock it off," Eric whispered.

"What are you doing?" Hyde whispered.