i long realized

that my love

is yours

but your love

is not mine

i see you everyday

bringing me chocolates

giving me a hug

telling me you

are there

for me

that i am

your friend

that's the thing

i don't know

whether to

feel happy that

you are my friend

or cry that

that is all

you will ever be

i see you everyday

with her

smiling with her

laughing with her

holding her hand

kissing her

loving her

.

some days

i feel everything at once

anger jealousy sadness pain

some days

i feel nothing at all

i don't know

what's worse

d r o w n i n g

beneath the waves

or

d y i n g

from thirst

.