"I couldn't say no," Harry started he was going to tell him the whole truth, "I wanted to but I– when I saw how totally expectant and hopeful you were, how nervous you were I couldn't say no."

Louis swallowed the dryness in this throat and waited for the boy to continue.

"Why did you want to say no? I mean, I thought you were happy with me." Louis questioned.

Harry nods slowly and takes a deep breath.

"I am Lou, I am. I'm so happy with you but that's not why I wanted to say no." Harry began.

"Then what?" Louis pushed eager.

Harry sighed.

"I don't think we are ready for such a commitment. Marriage is huge–"Harry was cut off.

"We had William and we were only together for a few months not even close to a year." Louis said.

"Yes and that just shows how totally reckless and naive we are or were..." Harry pauses a moment, "but we've changed a bit and here it is a year later today and we're getting married. I said yes because seeing you the way you were so nervous and hopeful and seeing you start to cry. And saying I hope you say yes. I couldn't say no Lou, I couldn't." Harry said.

Louis stayed silent for a moment before talking.

"So you said yes because I wanted you to?" Louis said.

Harry shook his head.

"I told you that's not only why Louis, I love you." Harry said.

"I didn't give you that ring," Louis points to Harry's hand "just because I love you. Nope not at all I gave it to you because I want you," Louis paused "forever, and because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. To spend everyday proving how much you are to me. So our son can grow up and tell the story of how his parents were so damn naive and went overboard and had him, how months later we got engaged and his mum didn't want to–" "I want to marry you Louis Jesus Christ I want to!" Harry interrupted his eyes were glossed with tears.

"Maybe I don't want to marry you right away but I do Louis. I will wear this ring to say I'm going to be yours forever. I want our son to grow up and tell people about his parents love story too but I don't him saying I didn't want to marry you when I did." Harry said grabbing Louis' hand and squeezing it.

"So it's not a lie?" Louis asked sounding on edge.

"No baby." Harry leaned over and kissed Louis' cheek.

"I'm sorry." Louis said sounding guilty.

"No you had every right to think the way you did. I appreciate everything you did. I loved it all even if it was over the top! I love you so much." Harry cooed.

"I love you most. Now what did you mean by not getting married right away did you mean getting married after a year like normal or?" Louis questioned.

Harry sighed.

"I just want to wait I don't want rush things," Harry started, "a lot can happen in such a short amount of time."

"Nothing will happen princess," Louis said taking the exit to London, but quickly looks over at Harry seeing an expression on his face begging almost, "what?"

"I don't want to get married Lou not in one year." Harry states simply.

"Then when?" Louis questions taking another turn the streets were becoming familiar now and Harry was getting excited.

Excited to see his baby.

"I don't know. When I'm ready." Harry said after a beat.

Louis sighed.

"I'll wait as long as it takes." Louis answered honestly.

The car ride really flew by to them probably because they spent it talking about what you could say is everything. Louis did speed a little only because he was worried about drunk, upset Niall being around their five month old baby.

5 minutes later they pulled into the car park and into a space. Louis hadn't even put the car in park before Harry jumped out and ran up to the apartment. Louis smiled at the boy because he knew he really missed William. He let out a giggle before getting out the car and getting their bags from the trunk and following the boy but at a much slower pace.

Harry walked through the apartment ignoring Niall who was sat on the couch drinking water. Harry went straight to Williams room, William was sound asleep in his crib. Harry cooed at the baby who had his hand on his cheek and the other slung across his small chest.

"Mummy missed you so much sweet boy." Harry whispered.

He cursed to himself at Niall when he saw William didn't have his blanket on him and it was a little cool in his room. Groaning quietly he grabbed Williams blanket throwing it in the dryer to warm it up a bit. He gave it only two minutes cause that's all it needed.

"Here you go Will," Harry whispered putting the blanket on his son, "I love you so much, daddy will be in just a bit to see you."

Harry left the room leaving the door in a small crack before heading back to the living room to scold Niall. Who at least did have the baby monitor with him. Louis was already talking to him lowly about something. Harry sat next to him.

"I'm sorry." Niall blurts out for the hundredth time tonight.

Louis annoyingly shook his head.

"Niall we know your sorry but getting drunk and inviting someone over to our flat without our knowledge when we told you not to doesn't cut it." Louis said.

"Do you realize you could have gotten so drunk absentmindedly that you would maybe ignore our son crying down the hall?" Harry said.

"Yes I realize that! Stop talking at me like I'm a child. I'm not!" Niall said sternly.

"Oh we know your not but we trusted you Niall." Harry said.

"William is okay though isn't that enough? It's not like I had a damn party at your flat geez." Niall huffed.

"That doesn't matter Niall!" Louis snapped, "any responsible adult in their right mind wouldn't even drink when they have a baby to look after."

Niall let out an are you serious laugh.

"Speak for yourself Louis! Your the one who was stupid enough to get pregnant with someone who was originally just supposed to be a bet or so I heard." Niall scoffed.

"Excuse me!" Louis snapped.

"You heard me Louis." Niall said sternly.

Louis couldn't believe the words coming out of Niall's mouth. It angered him.

"You're pathetic." Niall said.

"Get out!" Louis yelled loudly.

Williams cry rang through the monitor.

"Damn you Niall!" Harry huffed and walked to Williams room.

Luckily William went back down without any trouble just a quick rocking did the trick, however Louis was now yelling at Niall in the living room so Harry turned the monitor in Wills room up and shut the door completely.

Going back into the living room he found Louis and Niall in a heated argument the both of them were in each other's faces.

Niall laughed.

"Were your proposal a bet too?" Niall hissed.

Louis' fists were balled at his sides so hard you could see the white of his knuckles.

"Maybe he is a bet!" Louis hissed.

"What?" Harry felt the lump in his throat grow.

Louis was boiling, fuming with anger. All he was seeing was red.

"It was all a lie!" Louis hissed and Harry felt the tears sting his eyes.

Harry started crying. Niall was calmer but he could see this needed to stop.

"You were a fucking bet, our son is nothing!" Louis' face was red.

Harry ran back to the room to their room. He wasn't staying here. He felt sick to his stomach suddenly the words made him feel sick. He ran out the room to the bathroom and threw up. He ran back to the bedroom. Packing his clothes or as much of his close that would fit and his stuff from the bathroom. He still had Williams to pack.

He rushed with his grabbing all his diapers he could, loads of clothes he didn't bother being neat about the packing. He was in a rush and wanted to leave. He finally got enough and carefully put William in his carrier he did cry but Harry knew once they got in the car he'd be fine.

He heard a loud crash of dishes come from the kitchen. He walked with all the bags and William. Louis was still throwing things and Niall was just there.

Harry was hurt and walking to his car he nearly collapsed in a ball on the ground. Everything in Harry just wanted break down. He really loved Louis and hoped like hell it was only his anger.

Harry pulled out his phone and texted Louis.

💙

I love you so much... 😭💔

He hit send and called someone. After a few rings and Harry was long gone. She answered.

"Mum?" Harry's voice was shaken.

"What?" Anne answered.

"I need some where to stay. Please. I know your not happy with anything I've done but I really need some where." Harry cried harder.

He heard Anne whimper. Was she crying?

"Please mum." Harry begged.

"Okay." Anne said she was crying Harry could tell.

"I'll be there in two hours, can you please fix my room there for me. I have my son." Harry was still crying but not as bad.

"Okay." Anne replied simply.

"Mum if you say one mean thing I'm going to leave and I mean it, and I swear you won't see me again!" Harry warned.

Anne sniffled and cleared her throat.

"Okay. I'm going to get off I need to prep your room remember or get one of our maids to." Anne said.

"Bye mum." Harry said simply before hanging up.

The next few hours of the drive consisted of Harry ignoring the calls from Louis and crying shortly afterwards. Then him turning on their song Let It Be Me by Ray Lamontagne. He had to pull over a few times to situate William and feed him once.

Harry was really hurt and he was lying to himself when he said he didn't hope for Louis to come banging on the door for him.

His mum greeted him at the door surprisingly. She hooked one arm around his neck and hugged him. She kissed his cheek gently and glanced at William in his carrier.

"Mable set your room straight." Anne says starting to lead Harry to the room.

Harry's face was puffy and his eyes were red from all the crying. He still felt like hell and he loved Louis deeply.

He settled into the room setting up Williams pack and play. He didn't waste much time on it, it was easy to set up. However, his mind was only on Louis. The unending buzzing coming from his phone made him want to give in but he couldn't not this easily.

Their son looked like Louis apart from his hair, he had Harry's curls which he loved. William was playing with his toys on the bed squealing at them. Harry cooed.

He was a mess but he was staying together for William. His heart ached and their was a dull pain in his stomach. Harry looked down at the shiny object on his finger. He pulled it off slowly the tears building up in his eyes. He brushed his finger across the cursive engraved L on the inside. He began sobbing yet again. He took the ring and put in the front pocket of his bag containing his laptop and other things.

You were a fucking bet, our son is nothing! Louis' words echoed over and over in his head.

Harry sat against the bed bringing his knees to his chest and hugging them. A light knock sounded on the door. Harry debated on ignoring it but decided to answer it.

"Who is it?" Harry said.

"It's Gemma." her voice was soft.

Harry jumped up and swung open the door swallowing his big sister in a hug.

Gemma hugged him back tightly.

"My baby brother! What happened?" Gemma said.

"Apparently we don't mean anything I was a bet and Will was nothing." Harry cried.

"Oh Harry I'm so sorry." Gemma said sitting them down on the bed, William playing happily behind them.

After a brief moment of a hard sob Harry spoke yet again.

"I love him Gemma, I need him." Harry cried.

"Hey, hey calm down. I'm going to get you a glass of water and I will take Will for tonight in my room." Gemma rubbed Harry's cheek with her thumb.

Gemma pulled the boy into her arms again and whispered softly.

"I know you love him. I'm hoping he comes rushing through that door for you any moment now," Gemma giggled, "I love you baby brother."

"I love you too Gem." Harry gave her a weak smile.

Gemma started to leave to get his water but Harry stopped her.

"Hey, how did you know I was coming?" Harry questioned.

"Mum crying? Please it couldn't of been many reasons." Gemma shrugged with a smile and left to go get the water.

Harry sighed heavily and got William ready for bed. He was thankful beyond words that Gemma was such a great sister. Even if he just started talking to her again it felt like he hadn't. He still hated his mother for the fact that she kept them apart for his love of Ballet.

Ballet he remembered he still hadn't checked his inbox for a reply from Mrs. Bramble about coming back. I'll do that tonight he made a mental note.

Gemma came back with the water just as Harry finished dressing Will. She handed him the water and picked up Will carefully.

"You're going to have so much fun with Auntie G." Gemma says with a big smile.

Harry smiles weakly sipping the water and lays back on his small bed as they leave the room. His phone buzzes again and he looks at the lit up screen with Lou 💙 on it. His finger hovers over the answer button. He hits answer before he can catch himself.

"Harry baby." Louis' voice is really hoarse and scratchy.

Harry remains silent but listens.

"Baby I'm sorry so sorry. I've fucked up really bad," he could tell Louis was crying he bit his lip to hold back a whimper, "god Harry I can't live without you I'm a stupid pathetic boy."

Harry was biting his lip hard it hurt.

"Forgive me please I need to know you love me still at least?" Louis begged.

Harry sniffled.

"I never stopped!" Harry said with a broken tone.

Louis made an unreadable noise.

"You don't know how much I hate myself right now, Niall just made me so fucking angry I didn't think. I broke every dish of ours." Louis said, "I'm sorry."

Harry took a deep breath.

"That's what you do Louis you go and break precious things," Harry paused for a moment, "including me."

"I was angry Harry and stupid." Louis pleaded.

"I-I gotta go Lou," Harry stuttered, "I-" Harry stopped himself.

"I love you Harry forever." Louis cried.

Harry hung up the phone pulling the pillow next to him to his chest and pretended it was Louis. He hugged it tight and brought his knees up.

Harry knew that no matter what happened, he would love Louis.

Louis laid down in there empty bed and grabbed Harry's pillow pulling it to his chest, inhaling Harry's scent letting it fill his nostrils. He hugged it tight and he knew too that no matter what happened between Harry and him. He would love Harry no matter what.

I honestly don't know why I keep making these things. I might stop writing these authors notes at the end or sometimes the beginning. No one really responds to them.

I have a lot of questions and stuff I'd love to hear your opinions about especially for this but never mind it.

I guess just keep reading and voting.

All the love, B. xxxx