《The Ballet Shoes》Perhaps Forever?

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"Looks like your all healed Mr. Styles." The doctor said taking off the cast.

"That's great." Harry said.

It had already been a few months since the incident and it was hard to believe. Harry hadn't visited Liam's grave at all since the funeral. In fact the day he ran out was the last time he did see Liam's casket. He found out that he was buried in Wolverhampton, his hometown. That was a couple of hours away from London. On days Harry would catch himself in a daydream of him with Liam being absolute kids. He realized he still did miss Liam. After all he was his best friend.

William was 3 months and Harry still wouldn't let Jay see him. He had met Jay the other week leaving Will with Niall. She was sweet and took to Harry after some usual questions you get from a parent. Harry closed his eyes going back to the day.

"Why did you suddenly want to see me mum?" Louis asked sounding some what irritated.

Harry glared at him, Louis being Louis however shrugged him off and looked at his mum sternly.

"Cause L," Jay started.

"Don't call me L you called me that when you and Dad would fight and you needed me, so unless I know this isn't some bull shit then you can call me that!" Louis stated.

"Okay Louis I wanted to see you because I-" Jay paused nervously.

"Cause you what?!" Louis pushed.

Harry placed a hand on his thigh telling him to take it easy but Louis being an ass moved his hand and continued. Jay was crying.

"I'm," Jay took a deep breath "I thought you would like to know that," she paused trying to get courage, "that I forgive you for what you did to your sister and I miss my boy."

Louis sat back, his arms crossed over his chest. Harry gave Louis a look telling him to chill out.

"Something tells me that's not true." Louis huffed.

"Believe what you want Louis but I do. I got help lots of counseling just to say that to you L, I prayed every night to find forgiveness for you in my heart." Jay was crying now and Harry reached over caressing her hand.

"This is bullshit fucking shit!" Louis hissed getting angrily making the chair he was sitting in at the table flip backwards.

Everyone in the place stared and Harry could see how absolutely humiliated and gutted Jay was. Louis stormed out the restaurant and left them there.

"Jay I'm so sorry he promised he wasn't going to be like this." Harry said lowly.

He noticed all the eyes that was staring them down and Jay was hiding her face from everyone. Her elbows were on the table and her face was hidden by her hands.

"What about a little bit of respect yeah?" Harry said to the people looking.

They all went back to what they were doing. Harry picked up the flipped chair and apologized to the workers for the disturbance. Harry payed the bill and saw Jay off giving her a tight hug.

"Don't worry Johannah you will get your boy back." he whispered in her ear as they hugged.

"Thank you." Jay said softly as she kissed his cheek.

He pulled back opening the car door for her he could see a quite pissed Louis in beside their car. He watched as Jay pulled away out of the car park before disappearing down the road. He walked cautiously towards Louis.

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"I don't know if I should yell at you or not." Louis said with a angry tone.

"Oh for god sakes!" Harry said throwing up his hands.

"Don't god sakes me there is no sale here!" Louis said.

"I was just being-" Harry began but was cut off.

"Yeah you were just being too fucking nice to people who don't deserve it! Your too fucking friendly Harry! She didn't mean what she said!" Louis yelled.

"Yes she did Louis." Harry said calmly.

"What do you know?!" Louis said rounding the car to Harry standing in front of him.

"She meant what she said Louis a woman doesn't cry for nothing. You just walked all over her she was really trying Louis." Harry said still neutral.

"Fucking shit that is! You walked all over me when you comforted her! Acting all nice and caring for someone who shut me out and just decided to take me back! That's bullshit!" Louis pointed a finger at Harry.

"At least I care Louis! I care about how people feel and how they ought to be treated! She's your mother Louis!" Harry finally snapped.

"Fuck you and your antics get in the car I'm done talking about this!" Louis spit.

"Your a coward Louis." Harry started walking off.

Louis chased after him grabbing his wrist.

"Where are you going?" Louis said.

"Away from you until you calm down maybe I'll just catch a bus." Harry said.

"Fine then go you won't be the first to leave me alone!" Louis cried.

"Why do you think so many people have left you alone?" Harry said sternly.

Louis remained silent.

"It's because you like to push the ones who truly love you away and if you keep doing that you'll wind up alone." Harry said.

Louis sat down on the curb bringing his knees to his chest. Harry sat next to him. Louis put his head on Harrys shoulder. Harry rested his head on Louis'.

"I love my mum." Louis said lowly.

"She loves you Louis just like my mum does me. Even though I haven't talked to her totally shut her out and she's been horrible to me I will always love her." Harry said softly.

Louis nodded.

"Forgive her Louis maybe not now but forgive her that's what she needs." Harry said.

~

"Harry?" Louis said snapping Harry out of his daze.

Harry shook his head turning his attention to the boy.

"Yes?"

"You okay there?" Louis asked.

"Yeah good just was daydreaming." Harry admitted.

"About what?"

"You."

"What about me?" Louis smirked.

"Not about what your thinking, I just got to thinking about the day I met your mum and everything." Harry said picking up William.

"And?"

"And nothing, really it's just you haven't talked to her since then."

"Come on Haz don't make me do it," Louis said looking down then back up "I promise I'll do it when I'm ready."

He leaned over pecking Harry's lips.

"I promise."

Louis did miss his mum. Forgiving her was a task. Louis needed to hear something from her something that would grant her forgiveness.

"What's this your cooking?" Louis looked at the green food with disgust.

"Something you'll never eat." Harry said with a giggle giving William to Louis.

"You got that right." Louis said quickly smacking Harry's bum before running into the living room with a cheesy grin.

"Not in front of William." Harry said pointing the spatula at him.

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"Watch where you point that thing." Louis said with raised brow.

"You hungry?" Harry questioned with a happy smile as he shoveled his food onto a plate.

"Yes very." Louis said rocking the baby to sleep.

Harry saw the cuteness that was in front of him and snapped a quick picture.

He posted it to Instagram saying little man fast asleep on daddy ❤️

Harry smiled at the gorgeous baby in Louis' arms.

"He has your chin Lou." Harry leaned over smiling.

"He does indeed I've not noticed until now." Louis smiled at the baby with adoration.

Harry pecked Louis' lips.

"What do you want to eat?" he asked.

"You." Louis said with a cheeky smile.

Harry swatted at him.

"Food Louis food quit being naughty." Harry said.

Louis laughed quietly careful not to wake William.

"What do we have that is Louis good?" Louis said with a grin.

Harry went to the kitchen searching.

"Pizza, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, chicken, potatoes." Harry said turning to face him again.

"Uh I'll have chicken and mac &cheese."

"Baked or fried?" Harry said.

"Baked." Louis said.

Harry has missed Ballet he hadn't danced since he really hurt his foot. He missed the rest of that semester and hadn't really talked to Mrs. Bramble. He wasn't sure if he would get accepted back if Mrs. Bramble learned that her top student dropped out cause he got pregnant with some frat boy.

Louis isn't just some college frat boy to me. I just have to explain a lot has happened that's all.

"Lou?" Harry said pouring the noodles into the pot.

"Yes?" Louis said laying William in his pack and play covering him with a blanket.

"So I haven't danced since I really hurt my foot and I really miss it and was thinking about calling Ms. Bramble or meeting with her about joining back." Harry said nervously.

"Don't you want to stay here and take care of Will I mean I work and everything." Louis said with a shrug.

"Louis you know just as much as myself that that's my passion. Don't rob that from me." Harry said with a shake of his head.

Louis watched him stir the noodles.

"I don't think I mean what about William? A babysitter will cost a good bit if you get a good one that's trusty and all." Louis said.

"I can take him with me on some days, you see it's not just dance, I want to get back into it's my classes too." Harry explained.

"Where are you spitting the money up for that? Your parents aren't paying for it like they did your first semester." Louis questioned.

"Well I hope that I have enough saved up for just one semester." Harry said taking the chicken out the oven.

Louis grabbed the right strainer for Harry and handed it to him.

"It's hard enough paying for this." he motioned to the apartment.

"I'm not asking for your money Louis that's for you and William and that's it." Harry shrugged mixing the mac and cheese together.

Louis stayed silent. If Harry could pay for it himself along with a babysitter when needed then so be it. Harry fixed his plate and handed it to him putting his dinner in a to go bowl and grabbed a fork for it.

"I'm going out do you think you could manage William for a bit?" Harry questioned.

"Where are you going?" Louis questioned spooning some mac and cheese into his mouth.

"I'll be back soon." Harry smiled pecking his lips.

"Are you getting me something?" Louis smirked.

"No visiting some where." Harry said before kissing Williams head gently and leaving.

It was bad to lie some what to Louis about going somewhere because he was going somewhere but it wouldn't take him a bit to get there. He was going to Wolverhampton but the drive from London to Wolverhampton is 2 hours and some minutes. Harry would have to stay the night and visit in the morning being the time it is now. He couldn't stand it anymore he stopped as he was pulling out the car park of the apartments and called Louis.

"Haz."

"Lou, pack your bags for a day and get William set too. I was going to go to Liams hometown but I couldn't by myself, not without you." Harry spoke.

"Okay, be down soon." Louis seemed to be smiling Harry could sense it and that was a good thing.

He pulled back around and parked by the sidewalk waiting for Louis to come. He forgot about the bowl and fork he had brought and quickly ran back up as Louis was walking down. He quickly rinsed it and got back to the car.

"When did you plan to do this?" Louis questioned calmly.

"As I was fixing your dinner." Harry replied simply.

"Oh. What made you want to?"

"I don't know honestly Lou I just keep thinking of Liam. What I never got to say to him and all before he- you know."

Louis nodded some what understanding. This was so out of the blue and it kinda didn't make sense to him.

"Don't go see his parents thinking it's going to make things better." Louis said.

"I hate how you know what I'm thinking." Harry said.

"I hate how I could live without you before and now I can't stand the thought of losing you." Louis said softly.

Harry gave him a smile and Louis grabbed his hand squeezing it gently they rested their hands on the center console. William began crying making Harry jump because of the silence a second ago and the sudden high pitched sound filling the car. He looked at the time.

"It's time to feed him." Harry said finding a car park of a shop off the highway to pull in.

He got out rounding to the side William was in and climbed in the back. He found the bottle the formula but no water. Louis must have forgot to pack it.

"Great!" Harry threw his arms up slapping them back down onto his lap.

"What?" Louis said.

"He doesn't have any water." Harry explained.

"Oh right then I can go in and get some from the shop." Louis started getting out.

"No, we are not getting him water from a bloody gas stop it's gross here." Harry said.

"Well then what?" Louis said a little annoyed.

"Then you drive and I stay back here and try to keep him from crying but that isn't going to be easy. I think there's a market down the exit a few miles up." Harry said taking his dummy out and sticking it in his mouth.

Louis sighed hard getting out and going to the drivers seat. He drove off.

"Tell me what exit." Louis said turning on the radio to The Fray one of his favorite bands.

"Turn that down some." Harry said calmly.

"It's not even that loud Harry come on." Louis said even more annoyed but turned it down for argument sake.

Louis picked up speed.

"Here this exit." Harry said suddenly.

Louis took it suddenly.

"Right then straight and it should be on your left Liam and I would stop here when we wanted some snacks cause I refused to buy something from a gas place." Harry said.

Louis stayed silent driving the way Harry told him too. How to save a life was playing quietly.

"Ah it's still here!" Harry exclaimed.

Louis pulled into the car park getting a close spot to the medium sized market.

"You stay with William I'll go get it." Harry said and got out.

He stopped remembering he needed money for it but he didn't have enough on him for it so he needed some from Louis. He walked back to the car quickly.

"I need some money Lou I don't have enough for it." Harry showed him how much he had.

"Here then." Louis said shoving a 20 in his hand.

"Ease up geez." Harry huffed walking back to the market.

He found the water but for good measure he got a gallon since Louis gave him too much.

"Got it." he said climbing back into the car beside William who was still fussing for his bottle.

"Got any change for me?" Louis asked before starting the car.

"Yeah just some coins." Harry said fixing his bottle.

The ride seemed to take ages upon ages to get over with but when Louis woke up Harry saying they were here he was beyond happy. They checked into the hotel for the night.

"I'm still confused." Louis said watching Harry undress for bed.

"There's no reason to be confused." Harry stated simply.

"But there is."

"Okay please indulge me on why you're so bloody confused." Harry said crossing his arms.

"Well I would of thought after everything you felt and went through at Liams funeral you wouldn't have wanted to come all the way here to just visit his grave." Louis said.

"Everything I didn't get to say I feel I can say to him now, it's not easy waking up and wanting to text your dead best friend things you didn't get to say because he fucking shot you." Harry said feeling tears rise up.

Harry ran into the bathroom locking the door sitting on the toilet letting the tears fall. He hated that Louis had been so heavy on him lately. Earlier when he was fixing him dinner it was fine he felt no intensity in the air, just bliss. Now however that's all he felt was intensity and he didn't understand why Louis seemed to get so uptight when it came to speaking of Liam. If he didn't like the idea why the hell did he come? Harry thought.

"Harry." Louis said softly tapping on the door.

"Leave me alone Louis." he said lowly.

"I can't do that." Louis rested his head against the door.

"Why do you keep being heavy on me? Earlier we were fine and now we are right back at it again. It's driving me crazy," Harry got up opening the door looking at Louis "I thought bringing you with me would be nice but I was wrong. I just thought you might want to support me but no, I knew I should of left you at home because we just need space as it seems. You've been so annoyed with me and I've done nothing. I knew I should have just got work and moved to a separate place from you then none of this would be happening between me and you right now." Harry said tears streaming down his face.

"I-" Louis began but couldn't find words.

"Yeah Louis you're sorry just like always is that right? You say your sorry then have sex with me just like always. You remember earlier in the car you said how you could live without me before but now you can't even stand the thought of losing me? Sure as hell seems like you can now because Louis believe it or not you're losing me and it's going to kill me when I finally walk out that door." he pointed to the door of the hotel room.

Louis hung his head sadly shaking it.

"I don't know if I believe that or not anymore Louis." Harry said.

"I'd rather walk in front of a train then live without you." Louis said sadly.

"Then what the hell are you doing! You keep saying you can't live without me and your sorry and- and this and that but I can't seem to grasp that you really mean that!" Harry said with a slight raise in his voice.

Louis cried running to hug him wrapping his arms around him tightly. Louis cried hard too harder than he ever had before. Harry's arms were limp at his sides he wasn't hugging the sobbing boy clinging to his body.

"Maybe I really am just a bet to you Louis, you don't care about me or William maybe you didn't mean anything you said to me," Harry got out of his arms "maybe all of this was just a lie." the tears started again.

"No!" Louis exclaimed loudly.

"Yes!" Harry screamed back.

"NO! Damn it no! You are not just some bet to me none of this is a lie! Fucking none of it! I really can't live without you or our son, I really love you, I really meant every single thing I said to you, I meant everything I did to you good and bad. You were a goddamn bet at the start but you are a grand prize you aren't any bet," Louis screamed "I know I keep yelling at you and treating you horribly I don't know why I am. I meant everything Harry everything! Nothing is a lie it's real," he got closer to the boy who was leaning against a wall and took his hand "we're real."

Harry shook his head the tears rolled down. He wanted Louis to kiss him and let the emotions they had inside be known through the kiss, but that wasn't a good idea.

"What's wrong Louis?" Harry said softly.

"I've been keeping everything inside." Louis replied.

Harry slid down the wall and Louis sat in front of him.

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