Dear journal,

Yesterday I almost ended it nothing has gotten better and nothing ever will. I'm not home anymore...I beat my sister nearly to death-

Harry could feel the vomit rising in his throat. He knew however there must be a reason why. There had to be but Harry wanted to hear it from Louis. As bad as it sounded he did but he still felt he should read every page like he promised Louis. Since he was alone yet again bed ridden cause his foot. He swallowed hard and began again.

I just got so fed up with always being nagged and yelled at for nothing. I - I just snapped. She kept telling me how I was never a good kid to mum, how they hated me and the things I do. I was drunk and high. Mum pulled me away from her and told me to get out. I haven't been back since. I'm sorry god I'm so sorry.

23 July 2008

The word sorry was smeared by a tear stain put their by Louis. Harry's heart broke into pieces. He never felt so sorry for anyone in his life. His chest had a dull ache.

Dear Journal

I love him, I need him, I want him more than I had ever known before. I was a damned fool for going about the way I have. I was wrong for treating him the way I have. It's time to change....

August 12th, 2015

Harry noticed that on this page there was no stains of any sort. He held the pen to the journal he was to give Louis this last entry was the most important. He started writing even though Liam was across the room on his bed. He liked to be alone while writing to Louis but as he felt the tears fall he wanted him here for the fact he was scared.

"Li?" Harry said stopping after writing Dear Louis.

Liam looked up from his laptop screen and his smile faded seeing Harry was crying. Liam crossed the room sitting next to him.

"Okay what's wrong?" Liam questioned eyeing the journal in his hands.

"I can't tell him right now not like this and I said I would, but well he doesn't know that yet cause I wrote it. But I feel like it's too soon, it's all too soon. I feel like I don't know-" Harry rambled throwing his hands up.

Liam pulled him into a side hug.

"Hey Harold now calm down. He's gone to above and beyond what he would normally do. He wouldn't of ever gave that," he pointed to Louis' journal "to just anyone. He some how fell in love with you Harry and the way I see it he bullied you so he wouldn't allow himself to like or love you-" he paused eyeing Harry "but obviously his 'plan' didn't work too well."

"Plan?" Harry scrunched his brows looking at Liam with his glossy eyes.

"He didn't plan any of this he didn't expect to fall for you so suddenly." Liam explained shortly.

"Li can you take me to him? If not I'll find another way." Harry questioned clutching the journals to his chest tightly.

"Harold you don't want to say the wrong things so soon why not think on it another day then go?" Liam suggested.

"Liam I'm sure how I feel, please take me." Harry said drying the tears from his face.

He handed Liam the keys to his car and they left. The ride was quiet and Harry's nerves were ticking. He stared out the window holding the journals like they were precious jewels that needed all the protection in the world.

They pulled off to the side in front of the frat house. Louis' car was out front so he was here hopefully. Something caught Harry's eyes in one of the windows upstairs. He looked up there he was. Louis was in the window looking at the car. Harry opened the door slowly getting out.

"You can go Li, don't wait for me. I'm sure he'll give me a ride back." Harry said shutting the door.

When he reached the door it came open and he was met with Louis.

"Hello." Louis said unsure what else to say.

He moved aside so Harry could come in.

"Can we go to your room? Where it's more private?" Harry questioned seeing a few boys scattered about sleeping around.

"We can go some where nice and quiet." Louis offered.

Harry nodded quietly. Louis ran upstairs leaving Harry alone. Appearing moments later changed into some skinny jeans.

"Okay." Louis led Harry to his car.

They drove to an old building away from everything. It wasn't exactly nice but it was. It reminded Harry of one of those lofts you see in the city some where. Neither of them spoke a word on the way there or inside.

"I read the journal Louis." Harry said looking out the window.

"I suppose you came here to tell me about it then?"

Harry swallowed.

"Yeah partly. I wrote responses down in my own little journal so you could read them-"

"I don't want to read words from you," Louis interrupted "I want to hear them."

"I wanted to hear many of the things you wrote in here, but I kept myself to my word. I read every page even though most of them killed me." Harry's voice shook.

He turned looking at Louis.

"All of them made me realize one thing."

"What?"

"I love you too." Harry cryed, Louis practically leaped into his arms.

They held each other tightly in the hug for what seemed like hours.

"I have this strong urge to kiss you." Louis giggled like a schoolgirl.

"I want you to." Harry pulled him into his lips.

Each of them melted into the kiss. As it got more deep they fisted one anothers hair. They broke the kiss gasping for air resting their foreheads against each other.

"You don't know how long I've been itching to kiss you like that princess." Louis smiled.

"That was our first real kiss you know? Not just one of those that say I like you." Harry said.

Louis nodded.

"Here." Harry handed him the journals.

"One of those won't make sense being I already told you I love you in person." Harry said with a giggle.

"Okay." he laughed.

"You know I don't think I need to read your responses," Louis said looking at the journal "all I needed was to know you'd love me even after reading this. I don't need any reason other than the fact you love me simply."

Harry gave him a smile. He looked at the place Louis had brought him to. There was a nice cot over in the corner.

"Is that yours?" Harry pointed to the cot in the corner.

"Yeah I come here a lot when I get fed up with the frat." Louis said getting closer to Harry again.

"Why did you even become a part of that frat its horrible?" Harry questioned.

"At the time I wasn't in my right mind and made bad choices."

Harry shook his head biting his lip.

"You ready to go?" Louis questioned.

"No." Harry said softly.

They both stood there awkwardly. Harry's foot was killing him from standing on it so long. What he really wanted was for Louis to come over and push him against the wall and make love to him like in the movies. He really wanted that more than ever. In fact they both did. Louis bit his lip as Harry stared at him with a look in his eyes. Louis crossed the small space between them his lips crashed into Harry's yet again. Louis broke from his lips and trailed down his neck.

"Louis.." Harry breathed.

Louis slowly unbuttoned Harry's shirt, letting it fall off his shoulders. Harry had been waiting for this for a long time. Louis was his first and he didn't feel wrong for letting him have it either. They landed on the cot which surprisingly didn't stink like anything. Both of them were now naked and Louis was being gentle because of Harrys foot. Louis admired Harry's body. The way the moon seemed to shine perfectly off his inked skin. He was beautiful.

"Are you sure?" Louis asked.

Harry nodded. The feeling was foreign and hurt like hell as Louis slid into him. He looked at Harry for approval so he could move and Harry again nodded. Both of them were caught up in each other, saying I love you so much back and forth. Louis and Harry both tensed and Louis comed and not long after Harry did too. Harry layed there in heaven sure this was his first time but it wasn't for Louis. Who was already sliding back on his boxers.

"You'll be sore for like a day or two. You won't be able to move for a little bit so let's get your boxers and brace back on." Louis said grabbing both.

He helped Harry get both back on and they settled under the thin covers. It was a little chilly in the old building and Harry wasn't too fond about it.

"Louis?" Harry said against his bare chest.

"Yeah?"

"Promise you won't take this for granted? That you won't-"

Louis shushed him by putting his finger over his lips.

"Harry, you're just anyone to me. If you were I'd of left you there. I've been battling my demons for you lately. I've realized you're an angel in my hell." he kissed the top of the boys head and held it there a minute before breaking it.

Harry knew Louis meant what he said. The boy who used to bully him cause he was jealous wasn't there anymore this was someone new. Harry loved that Louis was fighting the demons inside him.

"Thank you." Harry said.

"For what?"

"Changing, getting better for me. That seems selfish but I'm grateful for that Louis. You changed even from your horrible past. It takes a lot of strength to do that." Harry looked up at him.

Louis had glossy eyes and was staring at the boy with a beautiful smile.

"You've become my everything in a matter of minutes." Louis said softly.

Harry hugged him tighter. He flashed back to the time in the car when he broke down so afraid Louis was going to look at him as Frankenstein and tell him to get out after he showed him the scar. In that moment was when Louis became Harry's world. The wall that he thought no one could penetrate not even a atomic bomb could falter, came crashing down.

Louis checked the time on his phone. It read 11:58pm. Shit.

"We should get going. Can you move?" Louis asked.

It had been at least two hours since. So it should be okay.

"Yeah I think I'm good." Harry said.

He stood slowly with the help of Louis he got on his pants and brace again. It was now 12:10am. Louis took Harry's hand as they walked out to his car.

"Did you think this was going to happen?" Louis asked once they got on the main road.

"If I'm honest no, but I wouldn't have changed it for anything." Harry said smiling at Liam.

"I didn't either I really thought you were going to leave me. As soon as you got to the last few." Louis admitted.

"How could I leave you if I was never with you?" Harry said truthfully.

Louis shrugged.

"We aren't together now but look at us." Louis pointed out.

Harry gave him a half smile. If Louis wanted them together as boyfriends he'd have to be the one to ask.

The rest of the ride consisted of banter back and forth. One joking about the others hair or clothes or something else stupid.

"One more thing though," Louis said as he pulled into the park of the dorms at the uni "how did you hurt your hurt? Something must of had you distracted you are an excellent dancer so."

"You." Harry said simply.

"Me?"

"Yes, you were on my mind and I was thinking how horrible it must have been for you and bam I landed wrong on my foot." Harry answered honestly.

"Oh," Louis looked down "I'm sorry, you should get going."

Harry leaned over and kissed the boys cheek.

"Don't go doing that now, it was my fault that I thought about you so deeply." Harry said still leaned over.

"I love you." Louis said before kissing his lips.

"I love you." Harry smiled before getting out.

He wobbled to his dorm room and he walked in. He went to sleep in his clothes. Liam was awake but he wasn't going to bother with the questions. They were going to wait until in the morning.

Louis went to bed and for the first time he was able to go right to sleep without any trouble.