"Love I need some help." Louis waved over a lady organizing some tutus on the rack.

"What may I help you with?"

"I need a pink body wrap, one like this." Louis showed her the one he had ripped of Harry's.

"It's quite large sir, I'm not sure we have that here." the lady said sifting through the rack.

"Well if you don't have it bloody ordered in by Friday. I'll spend my last pound on this." Louis pushed.

The lady huffed her chest jerking the wrap out of his hand.

"Excuse you." Louis said annoyed.

The lady typed away on the keyboard clicking around.

"Alright it will be here by Saturday." the lady said.

Louis rubbed his forehead frustrated.

"I said by bloody Friday. I need it for Friday!" Louis tried to contain his anger.

"Well I'm sorry but it won't come in Friday." the lady mocked.

Louis grumbled and turned on his heel pissed.

"It better be here by Saturday." he said before exiting the shop.

He was nervous and had no idea how to dress for what he planned. Liam had a sense of fashion but not nearly as well as what Harry did. He needed help. Once in his car he dialed Liam.

"Ay mate." Liam answered.

"Right, I need some help." Louis said chewing on his bottom lip.

"With?"

"Well as you know I'm getting with Harry or you should know."

"Uh huh."

"Well I need help picking what to wear tomorrow. Can you come by the frat in say 20 minutes?"

Liam hesistated looking at Harry across the room who was also looking through his drawers full of clothes. He didn't trust Louis, something told him that Louis was going to hurt him. He sighed realizing it be wrong for him to not help Louis cause he was indeed the one his best friend was falling for.

"Okay I'm leaving now." Liam got up putting on his shoes hanging up.

"Where you off to?" Harry questioned pulling a sheer see through black button up out the drawer.

"I'm going to hang out with Louis." Liam thumbed towards the door.

"Okay." Harry waved him off.

~

At the frat Liam made his way up the stairs. It was a mess and it smelled horrible. It smelled of sweat, stale cigarette, and different drugs and alcohol. Liam turned up his nose. He knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"So what do you need help with?"

"What to wear I have no idea, its been proper ages since I've-" Louis stopped before he gave too many details "uh I need help on what to wear I'm taking him to a nice dinner, then uh I think a walk some where nice, then to get some ice cream or something." Louis shrugged.

"Go casual and with a formal twist." Liam said with shrug.

"English please."

Liam shook his head.

"Oi wear your nicest pair of skinny jeans you have. Then a good graphic t-shirt and a blazer possibly with uh some nice shoes not those vans." Liam explained.

Louis nodded sifting through the drawers finding the nicest pair of jeans he had and layed them out, then he sifted through looking for a nice graphic t-shirt to his luck he found one. Eventually he layed out a whole outfit.

Liam approved and Louis was some what relieved of that part it was just everything else. He was still nervous about what was going to happen, the questions that were going to be asked. He feared he would say the wrong thing and Harry would leave.

"You hurt him Louis I swear I'm going to kill you." Liam said with his arms crossed.

"I don't intend to Liam, but I have things I regret doing, things I really need to tell him before things get serious. Things even you dont know." Louis looked down.

"You don't make sense Louis, you've known me longer then him. All a sudden you want to tell all and not me. You've known me a year Louis! One year! And you feel the need to tell Harry about yourself the bad things? What's so damned bad that you won't even tell me?" Liam yelled.

"It's none of your fucking business Liam. You always want to ruin everything don't you? Make someone feel worse don't ya? Well maybe I didn't want to tell you cause I'm afraid that you'll go to!" Louis yelled back now crying.

Liam looked at the boy, he hated the way he was fighting some battle inside him. One that he was afraid to tell even Liam.

"Louis I promise I won't leave mate." Liam sat on the bed next to him patting his back.

Louis was shaking nervously and he was still crying. He was a mess.

"I-I....." Louis cryed harder and his breathing hitched "I hurt my sister in the worst way ever."

Liam eyes started watering. He promised he wouldn't leave and he meant it.

"I hurt her Liam, I hurt her."

Liam swallowed nervously.

"How did you hurt her?" Liam said his hand still on Louis' back his eyes stinging from the tears.

"She wouldn't stop blabbering on about how I was never a good kid to mum, how they resented me and the things I do. She told me I was worthless and no one-" he cried harder "loved me. I snapped all I saw was red, I was drunk and high at the time I wasn't thinking and I- I beat her Liam I beat her so bad. I nearly killed her, if my mum hadn't of pulled me away I would of." he cryed.

"Go on...." Liam rubbed his back in gentle circles.

"She told me to go and never come back. So I did I left and I went to college not because they wanted me to that's what I wanted everyone to know. I went to make something of myself and hopefully make them proud. They still won't talk to me, I've went by the house before tried to get them to see me they ignored me and wouldn't answer the door."

Louis leaned on Liams shoulder. Liam opened his arms hugging the boy comforting him in any way he could.

"Oh Louis." Liam said feeling really sorry for Louis truly.

"I've done such bad things, my mum needed me and all I did was bad. I didn't only hurt my sister Liam, I hurt my mum I hit her when she pulled me away from my sister. I hit her so hard she-"

"It's okay you don't have to say anymore." Liam assured him.

"I'm so scared of telling Harry though. Its not fair if I told you and not him and I don't want you to tell him. So please don't. I don't know what to do." Louis got up pacing the room.

"I'm not going to tell him Louis don't worry. That's for you to figure out and I know for sure this is going to scare him, but you have to explain everything to him." Liam said softly and stood.

"This is going to sound so dramatic but for the first time in ages I've not felt this way. I didn't know I felt this way until the other night when I took him back to the dorm and watched over him and I definitely didn't know it until I left him there when I was afraid and we came close. He wanted to give himself to me and I wouldn't let him." Louis turned looking at Liam from the window which he was just looking out of.

Liam shook his head rubbing the stubble of his chin.

"Just be careful yeah?" Liam crossed patting his mate on his back.

Louis nodded.

"He's really been talking about Friday non stop you know? He-" Liam stopped "never mind."

"I'm still afraid Liam I've told you and not him. It would be really unfair to him and Liam I don't want to fuck up this."

"There's some things he's not told you either keep that in mind." With that Liam left Louis standing there alone.

~

So came Friday. Harry was nervous and excited all in one.

How am I going to tell Louis what I am? Harry thought running a bit harder then usual down the path. The path Harry ran was through the woods of the Uni. Not many ran it another man and two girls to be exact. He ran it to stay fit but that wasnt really the reason. He ran often to think about random to serious things. Which was often on Harry's mind. He often thought about his family of which he wished would talk to him. His mum and him used to be so close. Especially after the divorce.

He ran hard off the path and around the field that various sports were played on and up the long stairs and around the east building and straight down the sidewalk that led to the dorms. Until he ran smack into someone sending them to the ground.

"Oh-" Harry stopped and bent down.

"Watch it princess!" Louis snapped playfully.

"Oi I didn't know you were going to pop out of no where!" Harry swatted at the boy helping him up.

"I-" Louis noticed a slight change on Harry "wait a second you cut your hair?!"

Harry crossed his arms.

"Yes I did. I was hoping I wouldn't run into you until the date." Harry giggled.

"Well sorry, I'll pretend I never saw it yeah?"

"Right." Harry smiled.

"I'll see you at 7." Louis smiled turning on his heel walking away from the dorms from which he was walking from.

Harry walked back to his dorm the familiar butterflys fluttered in his stomach. It was 10 in the morning and Liam should be up by now especially since Louis was coming from there. Harry didn't bother to be quiet.

He walked in stripping his sweaty jogger top off.

"Good run?" Liam yawned stretching his arms out.

"Yeah, did you sleep well I heard you tossing about?" Harry said gathering his things for the shower.

"Yeah I was just thinking if I'm honest." Liam admitted.

Harry sat his stuff back down and looked at the boy.

"About what?"

"I hate being so daddy like on you but I can't help but worry about how or what's going to happen with you two tonight." Liam half laughed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Harry chuckled softly.

"Oh Li what would I ever do without you?"

Liam laughed.

"If it weren't for me if I'm not wrong you'd be well screwed and on your way to being miserable everyday because of the very guy you fancy now."

Harry threw his towel at Liam hitting him in the face.

"I'm a grown man father I can kick ass if I need to and take care of myself." Harry joked.

"Do not disrespect me son." Liam joked.

They both laughed.

"Just be careful yeah?" Liam tossed Harry back his towel.

"Yeah yeah." Harry waved him off walking out and down the hall to the showers.

~

Louis stared at himself in the mirror. He was now looking sharp and clean ready for the date. He grabbed his precious journal off the bed before exiting the room and leaving to pick up Harry.

Harry was well irritated he stayed at the ballet studio dancing about and lost track of time. Luckily though Liam rang him reminding him he had a special and important occasion in less then 30 minutes. Harry cursed under his breath. Applying an extra spray of the cologne due to his time in the studio.

"Wear the sheer black button up with the nicest jeans you have and your sparkly grey boots." Liam said seeing Harry struggling to decide on what to wear.

Harry nodded silently sifting through his closet pulling out the outfit Liam told him to. He got dressed and fixed his hair which he was getting used to. With 10 minutes to spare Harry bantered with Liam.

"Ay mate here." Liam tossed harry a wrapped condom.

Harry looked at it with disgust as it sat on his lap.

"I don't fuck..." Harry reminded Liam by pointing to a spot only Liam had saw by accident.

"Shit mate I'm sorry, I forgot." Liam snatched the condom from his lap.

A knock sounded on the door it was soft and barely even a knock. Harry jumped up it was 6:58pm he was earlyish and Harry was pleased. Not only by that but by the way he looked. He wasn't sloppy like earlier he was cleaned up. This Harry smiled at.

"Ready?" Louis clapped his hands together smiling widely at the boy.

"Yeah just let me grab my wallet." Harry said.

"No this is a date I'm paying." Louis put a hand up.

"Okay." Harry looked back at Liam and Liam gave a wink.

Louis and Harry walked awkwardly to the car. Small talk was shared. Louis opened the door for Harry. He was being a real gentlemen.

Harry bit his lip as he watched Louis drive not knowing what to do with himself. He kept moving his hand on his lap.

"You know you can hold my hand." Harry smiled at the boy.

"I know," Louis laughed "I just was waiting on you to say." Louis lied.

Truth was that was nervous and didn't want to do the wrong thing. He grabbed Harry's hand lacing their fingers together and they rested them on the center console.

"Why?" Harry broke the silence.

"Why what?" Louis answered making a turn.

"Why did you suddenly want me?"

The question stumped Louis.

"Well Harry, I suddenly wanted you cause I finally realized you make me feel like something. I was stupid for treating you the way I did," Louis looked at the boy who was listening in awe "Harry I envied you but I didn't realize that until I had to take you out of that Frat, and took you back and watched over you. I didn't want you hurt anymore I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I was just jealous of the person you were and I couldn't stand it cause I was so unlike you and everyone seemed to like you. Fucking childish I know-" Harry shut Louis up kissing him on the lips.

"I like you Louis," Harry whispered against his lips "I'm starved so lets go eat."

Louis smiled fondly at the boy.

Dinner was good Louis choked once because Harry cracked a joke and made him laugh causing both to laugh harder. Back in the car Harry didn't want it to end and Louis felt the same. Harry had things he was wanting to tell Louis bad and Louis did as well. Harry wanted to wait until the right time. Let it happen naturally so he wouldn't have to explain much but he wanted to do it now really before it disgusted Louis.

"Louis where we going now?" Harry asked.

"A walk in the park or something." Louis said.

"Well if we walk is it private?" Harry felt stupid for saying it the way he did.

"Yeah not many people walk it." Louis said and raised a brow.

"Okay."

Harry needed to show him now. He felt the scared tears rise in his eyes. He looked out the window to hide his face from Louis.

"Harry are you alright? You just got quiet suddenly."

Harry nodded.

"Louis," Harry said his voice shaken "I got to show you something at the park."

Louis grabbed his hand squeezing it gently.

"Okay." he said softly.

So he parked in the graveled car park it was empty so no one else was here, both were greatful.

Harry began unzipping his pants slowly. Louis was caught off guard causing him to let go of his hand.

"What are you-" Louis started.

Harry looked at him his eyes glistening with tears. This was it he liked him so much he was going to show him something.

Slowly he uncovered it. Louis' eyes widened but then watered.

It was a scar a big one right next to his penis.

"I was born with a uterus Louis," he cryed "they wanted to fix me but I ran away. I couldn't let them take away something like this," Louis was crying grabbing Harry's hand tightly "I can't give people kids I can have them, my family wanted to take that from me." Harry cryed harder.

Louis got out the car and vomited. How could anyone ever want to take something like that from someone? He ran around the car opening the door, pulling Harry into his arms. Holding him tightly. Louis felt horrible for him. Harry held Louis close to him and tighter than what Louis was him.

"I wanted to tell you so you wouldn't leave me." Harry cryed into Louis.

"Leave you? You stupid boy I can't ever leave you. Why would I? I think I'm in love with you." Louis looked into Harry's watery eyes and kissed him softly.

"I think I love you too." Harry whispered on his lips.

They held hands and walked. It was perfect but they weren't together yet. Which was okay with the both of them. Louis gave Harry his journal and told Harry to read it and call him after. He was afraid to say it all in front of Harry so he gave him the journal. The journal that held everything. The journal that would tell all. The journal that would say what happens next.