The next morning Harry woke up his head was killing him. He raised up searching the room his eyes went wide when he saw Louis' figure in Liams bed still sleeping soundly. He then checked himself he was still clothed in all but a shirt and shoes. Why is Louis here? He thought. He layed back down he was going to wait until Louis woke up to load the questions.

30 minutes later with an even worse headache Louis finally woke up and Harry was grateful. Louis sat up stretching and yawning. He hung his head down.

"We didn't do anything last night don't worry I only took you back and I stayed to make sure you would be okay." Louis said.

"That's the first two questions answered then." Harry said squinting his eyes shut from the pain.

Louis got up in only his boxers sifting through Liams night table drawer for some pain killers. Popping the top he put two in his hand giving them to Harry.

"Take those it will help with the head at least, sleep will help with the rest." Louis said sliding his pants on.

"I heard you tell me something before I drifted off to sleep." Harry said swallowing the pills with a bottle of water.

"Oh yeah, and what was that?" Louis said incredulously.

"You told- you told me you uh loved me and then you kissed my head." Harry stammered with his words.

Louis laughed like he didn't say that. Inside he was glad he said it but outside he felt like a damned idiot for throwing it out there in a drunken moment for Harry that is.

"No I uh think you were hearing things love, uh drink does that to you. You keep on you'll learn." Louis said with his pointer finger in the air.

"Would you stop being a total dick? Louis I was drunk well off my ass but I do know you said you love me and don't try and convince me you didn't. Don't you dare blame it on the drinks either." Harry said aggravated.

Harry was well over with the headache, he was sure he was about to vomit from the stress and headache, he was sure done playing this stupid little game Louis was playing. Harry layed his arms over his eyes laying down once again.

"On second thought Louis just come back when you have some balls to tell me how you really feel, yeah? I got a killer hangover and your pisstake isn't helping much so if you have nothing more to say kindly get out." Harry waved his hand towards the door.

He wasn't surprised when he heard feet go towards his bed then a slight grunt noise from Louis before the feet walked out the door with a slam.

Louis put his hood up the sun was out it was a perfectly nice day but he couldn't be seen crying. His hand were stuffed in his pockets. He once again ran from what scared him the most since he never really felt or knew the real thing.

He caught the bus back to the frat house, he locked himself in his room. Scribbling more into his journal. Everyone time after time got hold to his journal on occasion, each time however Louis threatened them and got his journal back. It held the most important, secretive, deep things Louis has ever done, felt, thought. You could say that journal was Louis' person he never had to talk to. He had approximately only two people he could talk to. That was Niall and Liam but he couldn't tell them what was in the journal. His journal was his most prized possession.

That was mainly because of what the journal held. Pages upon pages of Louis' deepest maybe considerably dark horrid emotions and thoughts. He thought about suicide time and time again, when he was younger about 15 to be exact..... people he thought would laugh at his reasons behind the journal, think it's absolutely ridiculous even.

Tear stains, blood stains, all evident on some of the pages. Indicating what Louis felt and even still feels. A light knock on his door interrupted the tears and scribbling of emotions in his journal. He didn't bother opening the door or even going to it for that matter.

"Go away." Louis huffed.

The knock sounded again only harder.

"Damn it! I said go away." Louis swung open his door, tears still falling only to be met with a familiar pair of emerald green eyes staring at him.

Harry pushed Louis in his room, slamming his lips into Louis' shaking ones. Shutting and locking the door. He kept contact with his lips as he continued pushing Louis towards the bed until the back of Louis' legs hit the bed sending him onto the bed. His knees were bent over the bed. His mind was vaguely aware of his open journal beside his head but more focused on Harry's lips once again crashing into his. The kiss was sloppy, and rushed. Harry fisted Louis' hair as he deepened the kiss climbing on Louis' lap straddling him. As much as Louis wanted this to happen he couldn't let Harry give himself to him like this, not here. Not for the reason he came.

Louis put a hand over his mouth stopping Harry's enticing assault.

"Not now Harry." Louis whispered breathless his head turned away from Harry.

Harry climbed off his lap, his eyes filled with tears and sat on the edge of the bed. Louis sat up staying behind him.

"I can't let you give yourself to me like that, not for that reason Harry." Louis said softly.

"But I wanted to Louis." Harry cried hanging his head.

"Not like this, I don't deserve you the way you are willingly giving yourself to me is not fair....." Louis trailed off nervously.

"IT IS FAIR LOUIS! CANT YOU SEE IM SCREAMING AT YOU NEEDING YOU I WANT YOU- YOU-" Harry yelled his vains popping up in his neck but was cut off.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM HARRY! NO IDEA, IF YOU KNEW HALF OF ME YOU WOULD GO RUNNING." Louis yelled over him.

Harry runs his hand through his hair frustrated. Louis stared hard and long at his journal. What if I let him read it? Everything I've been running from is written in it. He thought.

"You are right I don't know you Louis but we all have our own stories and how am I ever going to know yours if you won't let me in?" Harry stood to his feet.

Both of them were lost in their emotions. Harry was tired, confused, and heartbroken. Heartbroken not cause of Louis but because of the recent happenings with his family. Louis was just what he needed.

Louis stayed silent still staring at his journal.

"Harry wait," Louis stumbled off his bed "let me take you out yeah? If we want something from what ever the hell this is let's do it right yeah?"

Harry's eyes was still brimmed with tears but he wasn't crying. Though that's what he wanted to do.

"Okay Louis," he nodded "I want to get to know you. I hope you can at least let me do that yeah?"

"I will," Louis smiled softly at the boy "I'll pick you up Friday at your dorm at 7?"

Harry nodded. Louis stood on his toes a little kissing him on the cheek. Harry was anxious as he walked back downstairs and out of the house. It was only Wednesday this was going to be a wait of which seemed like ages.

Louis was nervous. He promised Harry he'd tell him about him, but he wasn't going to tell all. Not yet at least. What was he going to tell him? He was going to answer what he could truthfully. He wanted Harry, Harry wanted him. He was going to have to work on this wall he has built up around himself. The wall of which he thought was impenetrable. That was until Harry. It wasn't coming crashing down, why it was slowly being taken down stone by stone.

Dear Journal,

I love him, I need him, I want him more than I had ever known before. I was a damned fool for going about the way I have. I was wrong for treating him the way I have. It's time to change.....