《Until I Really Do》Chapter Forty

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Running his trembling fingers through his hair, Matthew moved from one part of the hall to the other, his heart pounding dangerously until it threatened to leap out of his chest. The nauseating feeling of dizziness that he felt was a constant reminder of his need to let oxygen into his protesting lungs, his mind seemingly unable to bear the burden of breathing and worrying all at once.

But Matthew couldn't stop worrying, his limbs trembling with fear as his gaze remained planted on the closed door before him. Sharon was in there, wounded and most battling for her life, while he was stuck out here, unable to do anything about it.

He let out a shaky breath, unable to push the feeling of guilt aside; it was his fault Sharon was hurt. She wouldn't have fallen down that stairs if he had been there to help her —if he hadn't been so arrogantly angry that he let his stupid anger come between them. He should have protected her. For goodness sake, why didn't he protect her?!

And their baby —what was going to happen to the child now?!

Matthew didn't dare consider the possibility of Sharon losing the child. He didn't want to think of it or the guilt he would have to live with if it happened.

"Matt, you need to sit down." Cold fingers settled on his sweaty forearm, gaining his attention. He turned to Gretchen, her brown eyes willing him to stop pacing. "You have been pacing for over an hour and if you don't stop, you might need a doctor yourself." She scolded.

He scanned her weary features, suddenly remembering her need to be on her way to London in that minutes. It was bad enough that Sharon was in a critical condition because of him, he did not want Gretchen to miss out on a great opportunity because of him.

"You should get going." He managed to speak past the lump in his throat. She shook her head and he frowned. "That is not a request, Gretchen, get going immediately. I'll be fine and hopefully, Sharon will be too, soon as that doctor gets out of there!" He half growled.

She stood unmoving. “I can't leave you like this.”

For a second, he watched her, surprised by her willingness to stay behind and miss out on an opportunity like the one she was offered. It wasn't within Gretchen's character to put other people before herself, but Matthew realized then that it was exactly what she had been doing in the last few days; putting others before herself. Not only had she remained in Ferndale because he asked, she had tried to get him to reconcile with Sharon. She was changing, and he had to admit that they were good changes. The thought brought a small smile to his face.

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“Yes, you can and you will or I'll carry you out here myself.”

She sighed. Raising her hand to rest on his cheek, her gaze held his for several seconds. "You'll be fine,” she whispered softly. “And so will Sharon. Oh Matthew!" Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around him. "I guess the time to say good bye for real, has finally come." She whispered against his shoulder, and for a few seconds, he held her close before pulling away.

She sniffed and dabbed her tears with a handkerchief. "Write!" She frowned. "Write to tell me everything and how it all turns out and how you're getting yourself a lovely baby."

"I will."

Nodding, she stepped back. "Goodbye, Matt."

"Goodbye, Gretchen."

A thin smile curved her lips as she turned from him and began making her way down the stairs. He listened to her footsteps fade down the stairs, a slight feeling of loss settling over him —the part of him that was sorry they had to say goodbye and the part of him that was worried she wasn't going to be okay in London, was quickly eased by the thought that she was indeed going to be okay. She might have suffered with the loss of everything she ever owned, but he knew she'd be fine because she was though. He however didn't know what was going on with Sharon!

Groaning, he turned sharply around to face to locked bedroom door, hoping desperately that she would be just fine.

He must have been standing there for several hours before Nana Lois showed up from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. He shook his head to her offer and was surprised when she didn't push the issue. She instead stood with him, both their eyes planted on the locked door.

It was another several hours, Nana Lois had gone down the stairs to make dinner and Matthew could hardly feel his legs beneath him, before the door cracked open and the aged doctor with a balding grey hair and a suitcase, appeared.

"How's she?" He stepped forward, dreading the bad news. Several terrifying scenarios drifted through his mind as he waited impatiently for the doctor's response to his question.

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The doctor pulled out a notepad from his coat and began to read. "Your wife suffered a broken ankle, broken wrist and lacerations to her face and legs"

Matthew could feel his shoulders droop further down.

"Spent so much time in there making sure nothing else was broken. We couldn't afford a broken rib or anything." He shut the notepad and stared at Matthew. "Especially with her being pregnant,"

“Pregnant?” Matthew repeated the words, uncertain he had been hearing correctly. Did it mean the baby was fine?!

The doctor nodded, as if hearing his thoughts. "The young'un is fine. But Mama's not out of the woods yet." He was saying when Nana Lois appeared once more.

Ignoring her, Matthew focused his attention on the doctor.

"I can't administer pain relievers for the child's sake. As a result, she'll be in a lot of pains in the months leading to its birth so I'm putting her on bed rest. Try to keep her rested and away from emotional stress and we should be fine. Of course I'll have to come over tomorrow and a lot of days leading to the birth of the child... And Matthew?"

"Huh?"

“You can stop nodding your head so dangerously now and go in there and see her.”

He grinned; he hadn't even realized he was nodding.

"And you doctor, will be joining us for dinner..." Nana Lois was saying when Matthew walked past the doctor and made his way into the room.

~*~

Darkness gave way to a blinding streak of light as her eyelids flickered open.

Wincing as pain shot through her skull, Sharon tried to move but found it impossible to do so. Every part of her body hurt, the pain confining her to a spot as she fought to familiarize herself with her environment. It was a few more minutes, but she finally recognized her room, the return of her memory bringing with it the memory of the events of that day; she had fallen down the stairs. It certainly explained the pain she was experiencing.

Just then, something moved beside her, forcing her to turn her neck to the side and try to see who it was. Pain rewarded her movement, but it was quickly eased when her eyes rested on the man beside her bed.

Matthew?

She tried to speak, a low groan forming in her throat instead. But it seemed enough for he quickly rose to his feet, his handsome face leaning down over her.

"Blondie," His voice trembled as he touched her hair. “Are you okay?” A weary frown creased his face.

She tried to shake her head but stopped, pain silencing her. Tears filled her eyes.

“I'm so sorry,” Leaning down, his warm lips grazed her forehead and she closed her eyes, taking solace in his presence. It had been so long since he was this close to her; so terribly long since his gaze did not hold anger when he looked at her. He instead seemed to genuinely care about her, and not just about the bab—

Her baby!

Gasping, she touched her stomach, terrified by the thought of losing the child in the accident. She couldn't lose her child! She couldn't live with the guilt and pain that would come with the knowledge of the fact that it was her own carelessness that had caused her baby its life.

“Ba... by...” She tore her lips apart, ignoring the pain. She had to know what happened to the child.

"Fine, Blondie, the baby is just fine."

Relief flooded her weary body but the guilt remained —she should have been more careful. What was wrong with her?!

Exhausted, she closed her eyes.

"Sharon?" She felt him touch her hair.

"Uhm..." She groaned, barely able to fight the urge to sleep.

"I love you, sweetheart..."

Her brain fought tirelessly to comprehend those words, but she couldn't. She could do nothing but fall asleep.

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