We stumbled out of the cab, and made our way silently through the lobby. Somehow my short and ever so comforting power nap in the car was really energizing, as suddenly my body felt like it was buzzing with nervousness and anticipation.

I was sharing a room with Rowen, and that could mean a lot of things like.. Would we sleep together? Would we like (wink wink) sleep together?

Honestly, my mind was running rampant with the possibilities. I would be lying to say I didn't want to be intimate with Rowen. I seriously craved his touch. Like. God, if I told anyone the thoughts running through my mind just imagining being alone with him I'd be labeled some not nice word. But that's bad- because we do not slut shame in this household.

Also, for me, there was something so deeply empowering about anything sexual. And I'm not sure what it is. But seeing myself in a skin tight dress or lacy underwear, or flipping through the pages of a playboy or anything, It made me feel good. Powerful even.

Ever since I was like 12 I deeply identified with hyper-feminine and self-sexualized women because I thought it was beautiful. When a woman chooses to express her sexuality, that's baller. Or if a woman chooses not to, and lets other girls do it. Not enough women support each other, misogyny is so deeply rooted, that we are sexists towards each other.

I'm not sure if you can tell, but I'm a sex positive intersectional feminist. Or at least I try to be.

What can I say? I'm a horny teenager. Also- people need to stop acting like girls don't want sex or sexual interactions. Like trust me, being horny or craving touch is not just a boys thing and we gotta stop acting like it is.

Don't get me wrong though- if a girl doesn't want sex, totally valid.

I just personally really do.

While my mind was a collage of explicit images of Rowen and I on top of feminist ideology, I noticed us get into an elevator.

As soon as the doors closed, my stomach dropped, and it wasn't from the motion of the elevator. I was keenly aware of the fact it was just me and Rowen in the room, and the butterflies intensified.

It seemed to grow warm in the elevator, almost humid.

"Nola-," Rowen's voice was tired and gruff.

I'm surprised that I didn't collapse on the floor in pure ecstasy from my name on his precious lips.

I don't even remember moving. One moment I'm standing by his side, the next I and literally on top of him.

Our lips clash together in a passionate play for dominance, the two of us trying to close any possible gap between us. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. One hand grips tightly on my thighs and the other runs up and down my body. I can't stop myself from running my hands through his hair as I kiss him deeper and deeper. The feeling is sensational and sensual, and a little fire has started between my legs, a product of the butterflies in my stomach moving lower. I press every inch of my body closer and closer to him, desperate for the feeling of skin on skin. Goddamn he is a gift from god.

Suddenly, as if in a bucket of ice, I hear the ding of the elevator, and I quickly climb down, off of Rowen, desperately trying to run my fingers through my hair.

Thankfully, there was no one standing outside the elevator (or lift as Rowen would say). I release a massive sigh of relief as we step out.

I look into his green eyes with a grin and grab his hand in mine, pulling him along playfully behind me as I pull us into our room.

As soon as I close the door behind me, I don't have a moment to look around the room or even open my mouth to speak before Rowen has me in his hands like puddy once more,

With one swift motion, he pushed me against the wall, pinning me there, with one hand on my hips and holding both my hands above my head. Gasps and grunts slip out between our lips as the whole world seems to dissolve around me in a fiery whirlwind.

His lips trail down from mine onto my neck. The feeling makes my knees buckle beneath me and a sigh escapes my lips.

"Rowen-" I mutter out, not being able to stop myself from speaking.

I had been with people before- I had never had sex but I sure as hell wasn't totally innocent. I had hooked up with tons of guys from the time I was a freshman in high school to now. It's insane to think that in one day I went from never kissing anyone to full on making out. And then after that I hooked up with a guy in a dorm room. Freshman and Sophomore Nola was wildin'.

But nothing- none of it felt like this. This was like what it was in the books and movies. Maybe better. Definitely better.

In middle School especially I read my fair share of... mature literature, so when I first started doing stuff I was seriously disappointed in the feeling. It's awkward and gross and you're super conscious the entire time, not knowing if you're "doing it right". And even after being pleased by other guys I had never... finished. And I had always worried that that was my fault.

But holy, hell, this.

Rowen's continual assault continued down my neck and landing itself on my collar bone, leaving my head reeling back. I arched my lower back towards him, asking for more.

Suddenly, he pulled back, leaving the both of us panting.

"Maybe we should move?" He offered, And I nodded and smiled. He picked me up from my place against the wall, and I barely had a moment to look around at the intense luxury present in the multi-room suit decked out in baroque decor. Not necessarily my style, but heavenly nonetheless.

In a moment, He had tossed me down against the soft mattress of the bed, and began to kiss me again. This time, with much less desperation, but the same amount of passion, He kissed me deeply and slowly, filling me with even more ecstasy.

His hand slipped between the crack of my shirt and pants, and lifted it up slowly. My desire had not dwindled, if anything it had only grown, and in an act of frustration I pulled my own shirt off and pulled back from Rowen, beginning to unbutton his.

Rowen laughed softly, "Someone's excited."

"Shhh I'm trying to concentrate," I chided, as my fingers flew down his shirt, prying each button off. As soon as it came off, he shrugged it off his shoulders and I stared with my mouth wide open at his sculpted chest. It was to die for.

His eyes grew dark and lusty, and began to attack my mouth and body with his kiss, his teeth grazing my tender skin as he did so.

I shuddered at the feeling.

Rowen pulled back with his lips came to the intersection of my chest and bra, "May I?" He asked, leaving me breathless on so many levels as I muttered a yes that was a little breathier than I would have liked to admit.

It came off in one swift movement.

To feel his hands and gaze on my body was something magical. I felt things I had never felt before as the night wore on and we explored each other.

Nothing stuck me deeper in my heart than when Rowen looked at me before him, baring it all and said, "I love you."

I knew he meant it.