Today marks 30 days of being purge free. I walk back from class feeling proud of myself for the first time in a while.

I knew there would be good days and bad days during my recovery process but lately, I have been having a lot of good days. The day gets even better when I walk into the living room after class and Warner comes flying at me.

"I got the house! My real estate agent called this morning!" He spins me around in his arms before I make it a foot in the door.

Today is definitely a good day.

"Oh my gosh, that's amazing!" I cheer.

"We get the keys June 1st. Tracey can finally end her lease on that apartment, and we can all move in together for the next school year."

"Tracey really doesn't mind living with a bunch of college students?" I ask and he finally puts me down, letting my feet touch the floor but keeping a grip on my waist.

"I think that's the part she is most excited for. We keep her young." Warner grins and I nuzzle my head into his chest. It warms my heart that he bought a house and ensured there would be a room for his mom. I was so happy for them.

"Did you tell her?" Abby comes barrelling into the room and brings us into a group hug with her. I pull away from Warner to give her a proper hug and we jump up and down together.

"I can't wait! We will actually have a backyard, a huge one!" Abby squeals and I match her excited squeals.

I would stay squealing with her but I had a therapy appointment with Dr. Ivey and she had specifically asked Warner to tag along to this one. I was a bit nervous to have Warner in the room with us but my recovery was going well so I had to trust Dr. Ivey knew what she was doing.

When Warner and I walk outside I let out a groan. Over the past month, there have been news reporters outside trying to get a statement about Warner's dad but they were always escorted away by one of the police officers who have been parked out front of our building to keep watch in case Matt came back. However, there is no police car outside today.

Something is wrong

A reporter is standing outside the building and when he spots us leaving the building hand in hand his eyes light up.

"Mr. Brooks! Are you off to visit your father?"

What is he talking about?

Warner whirls around, letting go of me. He steps up to the reporter "Back the fuck off," he barks at him.

The pap holds his hands up and takes a step backward. "Just asking! I didn't say you were involved. I was just wondering if you are going to visit him." He gives a shrug.

Visit where? Why would we visit him when we have no idea where he is? Did they find him?

Warner is clearly thinking the same thing, "You're talking shit," he growls.

I slide my trembling hand into Warners and tug on it. "Let's just go, Warner. Please."

Warner's eyes come to mine. Angry and frustrated. It feels like forever before he nods his agreement, and then we're moving again. Quicker this time.

Warner's car is mere feet away.

The reporter is still following us though. I think the guy must have a death wish. "Hey, Juliet, can you confirm whether the rumours that you also used to sleep with Matt Brooks for his money are true? And then you went for his son instead when he rejected you?"

It happens so fast that I'm helpless to stop it.

Warner has the reporter by the throat. His big hand around the guy's neck, he shoves him backward, practically lifting him off his feet, hitting his back into Warner's car. His camera drops to the floor with a loud crack.

"Warner!" I shout, my hands reaching for his arms, trying to pull him off the guy, who's gasping for air, his face reddening by the second.

But Warner isn't letting go. It's like he doesn't even know I'm here right now. "Say that again, motherfucker. To my face," Warner grinds the words out through his clenched jaw.

"I-I didn't say anything," the reporter chokes out.

Warner leans his face into the reporters. "Liar. Say it."

"Warner, let him go," I plead. "It doesn't matter what he said." I tug on the arm that has the guy by the throat. "Please," I beg.

"You're choking him," I say with urgency as the guy gasps for air. "Just let him go, and we can leave together. Just me and you."

I can see the war he's having in his mind. A few seconds later, his hand comes from around the guy's throat, and he drops to the floor on his hands and knees, sucking in gulps of air.

Warner stares down at him. His voice is low and terrifying when he says, "You ever come near Jules again, even breathe in her direction, or imply some shit that you know isn't true, and I'll come after you. And there won't be a fucking soul on earth who'll be able to stop me. Do you hear me?"

Warner yanks open the passenger door. "Get in," he barks at me.

I practically jump to attention and get in the car.

Warner is in the driver's side moments later, and then we're peeling out of there.

The anger rolling off him is palpable. It's stifling in the confined space of his car. I feel like I'm the one choking now.

I know I should say something, but I don't know what to say.

He parks the car outside of my therapist's building. Turns off the engine. But makes no move to get out of the car.

He's sitting there. Hands curled around the steering wheel, eyes staring straight ahead.

I unclip my seat belt and shift in my seat to face him. "Warner," I softly say his name.

"I hate that you have to deal with shit like that because of me. You deserve better."

I climb over the console, straddling his lap, and take his face in my hands. "Bullshit. You listen to me, Warner Brooks. You are good for me. This stuff with your dad is just another bump in the road for us. We've gotten over bigger. And we'll get over this one."

His eyes, which are fixed on mine, slowly blink once. "I love you," he rasps out. "So fucking much, it hurts."

I kiss his brow, then his cheek, and finally his mouth. "It hurts to love you, too, Warner. But it also heals me. Loving you is everything."

"Fuck," he groans. His fingers plunge into my hair, and his mouth takes mine in a deep kiss. "I just wish you could see my feelings for you. See how fucking deep they run."

"So show me later," I whisper into his mouth. "But for now, we have to go see Dr. Ivey and I don't think she would appreciate us being late because we were hooking up in the parking lot."

He looks like he might want to do it anyway, but his phone vibrates and when he glances at it his whole body tenses.

"What?" I ask trying to slide off him and back into the passenger seat, but he holds me firmly in his lap.

"They got him, Juliet. The reporter wasn't talking shit. Holy shit they arrested my dad." He lets out a breath and presses his forehead to mine.

Oh my god. They found him.

"Holy shit." I let out a breath as well. No more police parked outside our dorm. No more being scared to go outside alone. No more looking over my shoulder for Matt.

"The detective just emailed. He says that they will be bringing formal charges against Matt—not just for fixing fights and illegal betting, but money laundering as well."

"Oh my god," I breathe, out of words to say. This is what we had been waiting for and it was really happening.

"Yep. And, if he gets found guilty, he could be looking at anything up to twenty years in the state's finest." Warner laughs before hooking his fingers into my belt loops and pulling me closer.

Then, his expression turns serious. "You never have to worry about him hurting you again, Jules. We are free. I'm—" he releases another shaky breath, "I'm free."

"That's amazing! Oh my god Warner I am so happy for you and Tracey." I snuggle into him and nuzzle my face into his neck.

"They want me to go up to Thunderbay tomorrow to work with the police there. That's where they are holding him. I'll have to go up for the week, possibly longer but I would love to have you come with me."

"Of course I will come!"

I want to skip therapy and celebrate this with him but I know neither he nor Dr. Ivey would let us do that. After grinning at each other like idiots, still cuddled into his lap, we finally untangle and head into the building.

___

When we step into the office, I can't stop my leg from bouncing. I've spent so many sessions spilling my guts to Dr. Ivey, and I was worried she would tell Warner all the dark things I have said.

He notices my nerves and takes my hand, intertwining my fingers with his. My shoulders loosen and I release a giant breath at the same time he does. I can't help but smile. He's cute, even when he doesn't mean to be.

The office door swings open, and Dr. Ivey motions us inside. We choose to sit together on the couch instead of separately and Dr. Ivey writes something down.

Was that bad?

As she takes a seat with a little notebook in hand, she extends her hand to Warner, "You must be Warner. I've heard so much about you."

He shakes her hand and then settles beside me, his arm curving around my waist. I watch Dr. Ivey's gaze to see if she writes this down too but she does nothing, her eyes do catch our embrace though.

"Nice to meet you, I'm happy Juliet found a therapist she gets along well with." Warner smiles and I notice he is the one whose leg is bouncing now.

"I'm sure you are wondering why I asked you to join today."

Warner nods.

"Juliet and I have made a lot of progress in our time together, but I worry she is a little too dependent." Dr. Ivey glances between us and my heart begins to race.

"On what?" Warner asks but the way his body tenses tells me he already knows what she is implying.

"On you. On your relationship. Although I think it is important that partners are involved in the recovery process, I have concerns that you two might be a bit too dependent on one another. I worry about what would happen if this didn't last." Dr. Ivey smiles good-naturedly but Warner is frowning.

She has mentioned this before to me, but I didn't think she would say this to Warner. I thought she just wanted to meet him! This is my fault for talking so much about him. I can't help it though; he has been a huge part of my recovery. It's a valid concern that I might fall apart without him, but I didn't want her to tell him that!

"I can assure you that this is going to last. But I appreciate your concern." Warner grits out the words like it pains him. I know he wants to say more but he won't jeopardize anything for me. "Is that the only reason you brought me in? To question our relationship?"

I elbow him in the side but Dr. Ivey stays unblinking, a master of the cool exterior.

"I just wanted to give Juliet a task but I knew I couldn't give it to her without asking you as well."

A task?

"What's the task?" I ask, eager to pass it.

"I want you to be less dependent on Warner. You have told me how he cooks for you a lot, how he is who you go to when you are feeling panicked or when you need to be comforted. I want you to start to do some of these things on your own, it's unhealthy to depend on Warner too much. I know you don't want to hear this but if you did somehow break up, I worry you would regress and lose all your progress."Dr. Ivey tells us and her eyes flicker between us with rapt attention now. She's definitely picking apart every single movement we make.

"I will do it if it helps Juliet and only if she is on board." Warner reaches out for my hand and squeezes it.

He looks pissed but I know he will agree if it is what is best for me. But is it? I didn't think we were unhealthily attached. I know I depend on him but I thought that was what relationships were for. But would I really be doing so well in recovery if I didn't have him?

"I can try." I nod.

"Do you have any other worries?" Warner asks.

"I worry that sometimes Juliet puts people before herself. She told me about your dad, nothing too personal but about how she has been helping with it. I would just like for you to ensure she is focusing on herself and not trying to help you more than herself."

I can tell this resonates with Warner. Great now he was going to blame herself. He lets out a big sigh and puts his head in his hands for a moment.

"Can I ask you a question then?" He asks Dr. Ivey after lifting his head back up.

"Of course."

"They recently found my dad and the police have asked me to head up to Thunderbay tomorrow for up to a week to work with them. I was going to bring Juliet for support but do you think—" he pauses and grips the seat, "that I should go alone?"

Dr.Ivey writes something down in her book before answering, "I think it would be a good thing for you to go alone, it would help with the dependence issue. I also believe distance would be good so that Juliet can practice healing alone, or with someone other than you."

I swear Warner grips the chair so hard it almost cracks but Dr. Ivey realizes what she implied and recovers, "As in a friend."

He relaxes at that but I am not done here. I want to go! I want to be there for him and the thought of being apart for a week at a time when he needs me frustrates me.

"But I want to be there for him! That's what girlfriends do!" I protest and Dr. Ivey writes something else down.

"Stop writing stuff down!" I groan.

"Jules. Do you mind if I have a minute or two alone with Dr. Ivey ?" Warner raises my hand to his mouth and kisses it with a pleading look in his eye.

"What no! Anything you say to her you can say to me!" I protest but he gives me another pleading look and I sigh.

"It's okay Juliet. If it's anything bad, I'll tell you."Dr. Ivey attempts a joke and I leave the room wondering what the hell he had to ask her that I couldn't be there for.

_____

We are celebrating both Warner getting the house and his dad being arrested but I feel awkward after our meeting with my therapist. Warner didn't tell me what they talked about when I left and he has been acting awkward.

So have I.

Only because I don't know how to act. My new task is to be less dependent but what does that mean? Does that mean giving each other space? Or does that just mean cooking my own meals? Both?

We are all about to sit in the living room to start a spiderman movie night so Winston can show us (mostly me) that Tom Holland is not the best spiderman. I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't actually have a favourite and I just like to annoy him.

I ache to spring into Warner's arms, for a little bit of his warmth. When we reach the couch, I pause for a moment, watching Warner take a seat on the oversized plush chair. I picture myself sitting on his lap, arms around his neck while he rubs comforting circles on my back.

But I can't lounge on top of him. Not after we just agreed to be less attached. I force myself to sit next to Adam on the couch. Adam uses the remote to scroll through movies on the tv, silence thickening.

Warner is stiff, his eyes flickering to me every so often.

Everyone, not just us, assesses the weirdness. Aware of how strange it is for Warner to be over there. While I'm right here. A large chunk of space between us when normally we are joined at the hip.

It would be fine, but it feels like everyone knows why I'm separating from him. I can feel their judgmental thoughts in my own head. She can't function on her own.

My eyes flit to Warner during the movie, and I realize that he is watching me. I want to touch him. Just to let him comfort me.

He slowly pulls his gaze away and forces his eyes to the TV screen. I follow his move and redirect my attention to the movie. But I find myself trying to watch him through my peripheral vision. How rigid he sits without me. How he keeps his hand on his mouth, resting it there and hiding the definition in his jaw. I notice the way he glances at me every few seconds.

___

I shift in my bed trying to get comfortable but can't. All I can think about is how Warner is leaving in a few hours and I'm not going with him. I know I agreed to let him go to Thunderbay without me but I am regretting this decision already. Tonight was our last night together and we spent it across the room not talking.

I'm about to say fuck it and go to his room when there is a soft knock at mine instead. I almost sprint to the door and when I open it Warner is standing there already dressed for the long drive ahead of him.

"Hi," I say lamely.

"Hi," he repeats and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug like he missed me as much as I missed him.

A few minutes later we are facing each other on my bed, my leg slotted between his and my head tucked under his chin. He strokes my back, my hair, and my shoulders. He can't seem to stop touching me, and it just feels good to be touched this way—with passion and care.

He smells like Dior body wash and I can't help but lean into it.

"I don't want things to be weird between us." He whispers.

"Me neither."

"I love you and I just want what is best for you. Dr.Ivey just wants you to be strong on your own and I respect that, I don't want to interfere with your recovery."

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "You aren't interfering." My voice softens to a whisper.

He cups my cheek, enough to draw my attention off the bed and onto him. "I don't want you to suffer because you're too busy worrying about me– because you're putting my problems above yours. That's not how this fucking works. You matter."

I'm about to throw out a light-hearted joke, but the words catch in my throat and my eyes glass again. I nod repeatedly.

"Come here." He pulls me back onto his lap, his arms tightening around my frame.

Time goes by far too quickly and his alarm goes off signalling that it is time for him to leave. This is the longest we will be apart since our break up and I'm not ready. Screw Dr. Ivey, I don't want him to leave without me.

Sadness stabs through me. "I changed my mind; I don't want you to go."

The corners of his lips curl up and he combs his fingers through my hair. "Juliet."

"Fine how about you take me with you?"

Immediately, he shakes his head and pulls back to hold my face in his hands. "No. I'll give you anything else."

Pain tears at my chest and tears well in my eyes. He holds me and keeps me from pulling away. "Don't cry." He wipes my tears.

I try to hide my tears with a smile, but I can't. "Please. Just one last kiss then?"

He sighs and stares down at me. He caresses my cheek and slides a hand behind my neck. "That I can do."

He lowers his lips to mine, lightly at first and I close my eyes as an explosion of tingles spread across my lips. It is sweet. He holds me close, one hand on the back of my neck while his other hand finds its place on the small of my back but I need more.

I slide my hands up and grip his strong shoulders in fear that he will end our kiss too soon. I then take a bold leap and lick his lips.

He hesitates but tilts my head back and pushes my mouth open with his. He meets my tongue with his, quickly leading me in an incredible kiss,

I sigh and wrap my hands around his neck, lightly caressing his hair. All that matters now is him.