《Pretending》Chapter Thirty-Six: You Don't Deserve Him
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I had enough champagne that I stopped worrying. I hadn't seen Kenji since the raffle incident, nor had I seen Warner since we first arrived. Adam and I stood with Amy and Sarah, sipping our drinks and watching the player's parents embarrass themselves dancing in the great hall.
I had so much champagne that I desperately needed to pee. Once I finally found an empty bathroom upstairs, I stepped out and heard Warner's voice.
His back is to me, and he has a guy held against the wall. James Stone. The last time I saw James, I insulted him about the pimple on his face. He commented on that post of me. The comment that sent me into a spiral, the one tagging Warner 'Does this count as charity work?
James is cowering from Warner, blood dripping from his nose. I thought back to Marko's face, and I step back further into the bathroom, scared to be seen. When Warner said, he would deal with everyone who commented, I did not know he meant like this. How bad had he beaten Marko to get him to apologize?
Curiosity got the best of me, and I peered back out to the hallway.
"At first didn't get it. I thought to myself, how could a man could enjoy humiliating and hurting someone?" Warner's voice was lethal. I had never heard him use this tone.
He clutched a fistful of James' hair, yanking him up to his eye level.
"But I get it now. This is fun." he smiled at James, and the smile promised violence.
I had ended things, so he didn't have to defend me all the time and here he was defending me anyway. I knew I should be scared of the display in front of me, fear the anger in Warner's eyes or the blood dripping down James's face. But I wasn't. I was embarrassed to admit it, but it made me love him more. I wanted to press him against the wall and press my lips against his. God, was this turning me on? I needed serious help.
I didn't know what to do. Do I step out and let him see me? Or do I stay here till they're done? My decision was made for me because when I stepped out of the bathroom to get another look, Warner's head snapped in my direction.
He froze, and his whole body stiffened as if he was scared of me witnessing the display of violence. He dropped James and let him fall to the floor. James made no move to get up until Warner grunted, "Go before I change my mind. Remember what I said."
All I could do was gape at him, at the blood crusting his knuckles and the matching bruises on his other hand. As if he had been beating people up all week. And after seeing Marko's face, I think he has. I cringed to myself, and Warner saw.
"What, Juliet? You told me I didn't defend you enough back in the day. In fact, you reminded me of my failure to protect you time and time again. So, I'm doing it now. Do you now have a problem with how I'm defending you?"
He was angry. He thought I cringed in disgust. But it wasn't that.
"I didn't say anything."
"Good because I may not have defended you a year ago, but I will break the face and bone of any man who tries to disrespect you or insult you again."
I swallow the lump in my throat, reaching for words and press my legs together. Warner was angry at me; why was the area between my legs heating up? Was I some kind of sadist? Why did I enjoy seeing him defend me this way?
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It must be the champagne. Warner was eyeing me up and down, the red gown I wore. The way it hugged what was left of my curves.
"Nice Dress. It's red," He says matter of factly. I think of how Maggie told me he wrote that note, and I feel a blush creeping onto my face.
"Did you wear that dress for me?" he asks, giving me another once over.
"No."
"Liar." He smiles at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Then he turns and goes back downstairs without another glance in my direction.
I knew I should go back downstairs, but the snoop in me saw the door to Warner's dad's office, and the next thing I knew, my steps were taking me towards it. We used to dare each other to go in as kids, and neither of us was brave enough to truly step inside. But with the champagne in my system and knowing his dad was busy downstairs, I opened the door.
I also wanted to do something for Warner for once. He was going around beating up every guy who wronged me, so the least I could do was help him with his dad. I didn't know what I was looking for; I just knew that I hated the man. I hated the way he treated Warner. Maybe I could find some kind of dirt on him and use it to make him leave his son alone.
I walked in and saw that there were two desks in the giant room. One was huge with a swivel chair and documents scattered everywhere. Across the room sat a smaller desk, maybe for an assistant of some sort.
I start going through the papers on the bigger desk when I hear footsteps approaching. Oh god. Oh god. The steps come right to the door. There's a second set of footsteps, so I scramble and hide under the assistant's desk. This was a horrible idea.
As soon as the door slams shut behind them, I know I am trapped. I just have to hope I don't get caught because I have no idea how to explain this. I can only blame so much on champagne. I squeeze my knees to my chest and say a silent prayer.
"Are you trying to ruin my reputation? Or do you just enjoy making me look bad?" Warner's dad's voice booms through the room, and it takes everything in me to stand still. I peek through a tiny sliver in the desk and see Warner standing across from him, looking stoic. He shrugs and says nothing, and I shrink back into the desk.
"What is your fascination with this girl?" His dad snaps.
My spine goes rigid.
"What are you talking about?" Warner's voice stays quiet.
"Look at yourself." He sneers. "I haven't even said her name and you fall apart." He shakes his head, studying Warner. "Your face is pale; your fist is clenched. You're breathing too fast, and your entire body is tense." A pause. "You have betrayed yourself; you think you are clever, but you're forgetting who taught you these tricks."
Warner says nothing.
"You can't go around beating men up because they wronged your little girlfriend. Marko Stone's dad is a very powerful man, and you have risked our business partnership because you let a girl control you. It's pathetic." He spits out the words, and Warner's fist clenches.
My skin is cold sweat; my fingers are trembling with disgust at how his dad speaks to him.
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"You have no idea what you are talking about."
"I know that my son is a spineless coward and can't even complete a simple task without whining. Are my threats not enough? Do I need to bring your little girlfriend into this? Juliet is very pretty. I wonder if any of my friends would like –"
"Don't say another fucking word about her. And don't ever fucking say her name to me again." Warner had lost his cool at the threat against me; his anger had taken over.
"There he is! He finally found his spine. Now that you have found it, you will listen to me and do as I say. You will lose the game tomorrow. I am betting on a loss as well as no goals from Westshore's star player." His dad clasped him on the shoulder, but the move was far from friendly. I knew he was holding on tighter than necessary.
"Betting against your own son and his team, real classy dad. How am I supposed to stop anyone else from scoring? They're on my own god damn team, I can't control that. And it's a charity match. It's supposed to be for fun and to raise money, not for you and your scum bag 'business partners' to rig." Warner removed his father's hand from his shoulder.
"You will do what I say. You know the consequences. Now go back to the party, and if I hear of any more of this embarrassing behaviour, I will be paying your special friend a visit."
Warner is silent for so long I am forced to look back through the slit in case they spotted me. Warner's eyes are dead of emotion, his face set to neutral. He clears his throat. "Okay."
I saw them start to move, so I curl up as much as possible into the desk. I was never going to snoop around again; it was a miracle they didn't see me. I also didn't know what to do with this information. I knew his dad was horrible, but I had no idea he was this bad. That he would threaten me. It made me wonder what the other threats were that stopped Warner from ripping the guy's head off.
I wait a full 5 minutes before I get out of my hiding spot. That scene sobered me up real quick; I creep out and go back downstairs, pretending everything is okay. I put on a face that said, ' I totally didn't just witness Warner's dad threaten him to throw the game tomorrow.'
My face wasn't working because Adam spots me, walks over, and the first thing he says is, "What's wrong? Why are you making that face?"
"What face?" I smile at him, but he just gives me a look that says he doesn't believe me. Thankfully he lets it go and brings me over to where Abby, Winston, Sarah and Abby stood.
"There you are! Kenji took you so long ago; where did you go?" Abby asks.
"Oh, you know, around." I lie, and I can feel my armpits sweating. God, I was not pulling this whole 'pretending I'm okay' off.
Thankfully Tracey enters the room and announces, "It's time to announce the raffle winners!". I was no longer thankful. Now I had to hear who won a date with Warner.
After twenty minutes of picking names for baskets, team merch and other prizes, they moved on to the players. I pitied the girl who won a date with Marko, but she looked pleased. Tracey moves over to Warner's bowl, which was overfilling to the point where it was comical.
She puts her hand in and digs around till she grabs a name. When she opens it, she gives me a sympathetic look and reads "Jaiden."
Jaiden from cheer put her name in? I clench my teeth together and clap along with everyone else as she runs over to where Warner is standing.
He gives her a curt smile, but clearly, that wasn't enough because she flings herself at him in a hug. I keep the smile on my face and maintain composure even though I could feel eyes on me. He was not my boyfriend. He can go on dates. I repeat the mantra until they get to Adam's bowl. Adam is standing next to me, and he does not look excited to have to go on a date with a stranger.
But Tracey reaches into the bowl and pulls out a name. She gives me a confused look, and I know what name she is going to say before she says it. "Juliet?".
It was more of a question than anything. She looks at Warner, and I wanted to shrivel up and die. Poor Tracey was probably wondering why Warner's girlfriend would try to win a date with his best friend.
Adam straightens beside me. I look at him and give him a sheepish smile. He looks just as confused as Tracey.
"I couldn't have you win a date with some crazy cougar. You're safer with me." I pat him on the shoulder, and he smiles and gives me a side hug.
"You have no idea how thankful I am. I think I saw Max's mom put 20 slips all into my bowl." He whispers in my ear.
I told myself I wouldn't, but my eyes find Warner, and he is not being shy with his stare. His posture is tight. His mouth is tight. His entire body is tense. I knew what he was thinking, he must think I am horrible going back to Adam.
I try to look anywhere but at him and accidentally catch the eye of Warner's dad. He is smiling at me, amusement all over his face as if he enjoyed his son's pained face. I had never wanted to punch someone more than at this moment.
Tracey announces the rest of the dates, but I can feel a new person staring my way. I look to my right, and Kenji is standing with his arms crossed, glaring at me. Looking between Adam and me with disgust. I try not to let it affect me. He is the one who gave me those stupid raffle tickets. He couldn't possibly think I did this on purpose.
Once Tracey finishes the announcements, I step toward Kenji to explain. Mostly so he will stop looking at me like I was some kind of monster.
"Kenji, please let me explain- "
"What is wrong with you? Was dumping Warner not enough? You have to humiliate him too?" Kenji's words make me take a step back. I had never seen him angry like this.
"I wasn't trying to humiliate him. You bought those tickets, so I just-"
He cut me off again. "You don't deserve him. You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that man over there." He points over to Warner, who I can't bear to look at. Especially if he was looking over at us.
Kenji's words hurt. They hurt because they were the same words, I told myself daily. I didn't deserve Warner.
"You're right. I don't deserve him, I'm sorry." I choke out.
I wanted to explain. I wanted to tell Warner I saw what happened with his dad and be there for him. But the way Kenji was looking at me made me walk away from them both.
I didn't want to be here. I don't think I was wanted here anymore anyways. I needed some air, so I stepped outside into the front garden. I sat down on a bench and put my head in my hands. I was tired.
So damn tired.
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