《Pretending》Chapter Twenty Two: My Worst Nightmare
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I wake up shaking in the middle of the night after a very horrible and very vivid nightmare, no guesses what it was about. I lift myself to get up and grab an extra blanket but I'm restrained by something heavy. In my confused half-asleep state I can't figure out why I can't move; have I become paralyzed by fear?
Is that even possible?
Oh god.
I start to panic and it starts getting harder to breathe but that's only before I turn my head to the side and find Warner pressed up against my side with his arm slung over my torso.
Oh.
OH.
Now my heartbeat's skyrocketing for an entirely different reason. I guess we accidentally fell asleep in my room last night. All I remember is holding Warner and then talking for a while but I guess we just fell asleep.
I try to shift in my uncomfortable position and when that fails due to his blue whale of an arm I try to make him move but it's pointless. He's just unwilling to move even an inch so I give up and ease back into place. His face is mere centimetres away from mine and I can see every single line and contour of his face clearly. He looks so innocent, so childlike in this state that one might get baffled by how different he really is. He's gorgeous, of course, he is I won't deny that any further but he's also...
Mean.
If he was so mean why did he get you that dress? says a nagging voice in my head.
Conceited.
With a face like that who wouldn't be?
Annoying!
Maybe he just needs a friend?
I shake the thoughts out of my head before that stupid voice can defend Warner some more. It's annoying and I don't like that any part of me however small it is, is starting to accept him faults and all. I do owe him for what he has done for me lately but he owes me ten years' worth of humiliating memories.
Though that's not what I think when I shift just a little closer to him seeking his warmth. His breath fans my face and boy does he smell good. It's an addictive scent making me want to move closer and closer to him. Taking me by surprise, his arm tightens around me and pulls me closer so that I'm now pressed up against his chest.
I would question his motives and hit him but it seems like he's sleeping rather soundly and cannot be held accountable for his actions. So even though my breath hitches and my skin tingles I don't move away from him. I just feel his heart beating against my own, corny as that is and somehow it relaxes me. I stare at his face for some time trying to understand this boy with his irreparable habit of constantly shaking up my life and realize that he's changed.
He's changed; he isn't the guy from elementary school who left a stink bomb in my locker on valentines day. Something's happened which has made him change his attitude towards me.
So as I'm having my second sleepover with Warner Brooks I try to think of a reason as to why he's acting the way he is and honest to god I'm just too terrified to find out.
I close my eyes to go back to sleep but there is knocking at my door, it starts off quiet but turns into louder banging. If Warner wasn't awake before he sure was now.
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The banging gets louder and I groan untangling myself from Warner. I look at the time and suddenly the banging makes sense. It was 2 pm and the Westshore soccer team has a big game today at 3.
I rush and open the door to Adam who is already in uniform. Once he peers past me to Warner sitting on my bed his face drops. I wish I could disappear.
"Seems like Emily was right all along."
"No that's not true, nothing has happened between us. Warner was locked out of his room last night so he crashed here that's all." I am panicking, I know what it looks like and I don't want Adam to freak out.
"You told me you never kissed him. But right now it looks like you guys did a lot more than kiss. You two Liars deserve each other." He slams the door right in my face and I deserve it.
Warner has stayed silent throughout our exchange and when I turn to look at him he doesn't seem too phased by it. He also doesn't seem to be phased about being late to his team's warmup.
I sit down in my chair and groan, when he sees how upset it made me his whole demeanor changes, his eyes full of concern."He crossed a line; he shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry Jules."
Warner's kneeling down in front of me, holding my hands in his and rubbing his calloused thumbs over my knuckles. It's surprising how he can comfort me so well. I can feel myself calm down and my murderous thoughts are dwindling down to plain old anger.
He sighs and places both of my hands in both of his, interlacing our fingers.
"You need to leave, go to your game and please tell Adam that nothing went on between us." I drop his hand and I see hurt flash across his face. I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth, I know what was happening wasn't nothing. I just meant that nothing physical happened. I couldn't even explain myself because Warner was already heading towards the door.
"Good to know." He slams the door behind him and now it was my turn to put my head in my hands.
God, why was I so bad with words?
______
I basically run down to the field to make it to the game. I had missed the warm-up but still made it with five minutes to spare before the game started. Westshore was playing Western today and it wasn't until I got to the field that I remembered who went to Western University.
Sierra
She wouldn't be at the game though right? Who was I kidding, of course, she would be, she was a cheerleader just like I was. I should turn back, I didn't want to see her after the last time she saw me.
I could fake an injury, perhaps if I started limping on my way over to Amy she would see and I wouldn't have to cheer. I was about to give the acting performance of a lifetime. Taking a deep breath I start limping as soon as I am in Amy's direct sight.
When I finally make it over to the group she crosses her arms. "Don't tell me you hurt yourself last night when you left."
"Yes I'm sorry, I thought I would be fine but I'm not so I won't be able to cheer today. I think I'll just go back to my room." She looks like she believes me, even Abby gives me a sympathetic smile.
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"That's fine but you aren't leaving, you can sit and watch and support." She smiles at me and I frown. Well, half of my plan worked.
I sit down and scan the other teams' cheerleaders for Sierra, I find her almost instantly. She hasn't seen me yet and I plan to keep it that way. I look up at the crowd and sure enough, Warner's dad is there with a man from last night. Tracey is nowhere in sight. I wonder what bets they had on the game today. I really didn't want to know what they would do if Warner didn't control the score for them.
Right, when the whistle blows Adam takes the ball and dribbles through a few players. When Adam gets stuck I see Warner call for the ball but Adam completely ignores him and passes it off to someone else on the team.
Uh Oh
A few plays later Adam has the ball again and Warner is wide open in front of the net.
"Adam, Ball!" Warner yells. Adam ignores him yet again and looks around for another open player. Adam passes the ball off to a player way behind him and I see Warner clench his fists in frustration.
The whole first half goes that way, every time Warner is open Adam ignores him and I am feeling very responsible. When the halftime whistle blows we are losing 2-0. I see that Warner's dad does not look pleased with this score. I guess that means he had bet on Westshore winning today. Adam chose a bad game to sabotage his own team.
Their bench isn't too far from where I was sitting so I can listen in when they all get back to their bench.
"Man, what's wrong, why aren't you giving me the ball?" Warner asks Adam pushing him a little.
"I didn't know you were open," Adam mutters pushing Warner back.
"I'm pretty sure you could hear me," Warner says pushing Adam a little harder.
"I'm pretty sure I couldn't." Adam retorts pushing Warner back even harder.
"Adam, Warner stop this shit right now. I don't know what's going on between you two but Adam you need to start giving Brooks the ball or you are benched." The coach yells interrupting them.
People are starting to stare now, waiting for the drama to begin. I hate that I caused a fight between best friends, I know for a fact they don't hate each other. Adam is only acting like this because of this morning.
They separate and Warner walks away from the bench. I take this as an opportunity to talk to him, I know he must be stressed about the score not lining up with his dad's betting. Halfway through walking over, I forget I am meant to have a limp but luckily nobody notices.
I realize Warner's temper is hanging by a very fine thread. One more wrong word out of Adam's mouth and Warner will go for him.
"So I guess telling Adam nothing happened didn't work out?" I joke trying to lighten the mood but I don't think he is in the mood for jokes. He doesn't answer me or ask why I'm not cheering, he just takes a large gulp of his water.
"I just... I don't know what to say, Warner. You two shouldn't be fighting over me. It's not worth it."
Warner sucks in a breath and I know I've upset him. I peer at him through my lashes and his jaw is flexed, his posture stiff.
"Don't say that ever again. You're worth it, you're worth everything." He looks at me for the first time and I realize how much harder it is to talk to him when he looks at me like that. God, why did he have to say things like that?
"Well, then I must ask you to do something for me. I need you to win this game for me." I smile at him. I am sure he is used to having to win games for his dad but maybe this once he could do it for me.
The whistle blows and he gets back on the field, Adam however sits on the bench. I guess he would rather sit out the game than play with Warner.
Warner ends up having an amazing second half once Adam is off. He is everywhere at once. It was unbelievable. By the time he scores the winning goal at the end of the second half, the entire crowd is on their feet going completely nuts.
Warner has a huge grin on his face running back from the net. He looks over to the cheerleaders and when his intense green eyes locks on mine he mouths "for you".
What?
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Abby grabbed a hold of my arm and squeezed it. "Did you see that Juliet? Did you freaking see that?"
"Yes," It comes out as a whisper.
I cheer along with everyone else when the final whistle blows. I was happy for Warner and even happier that his dad wouldn't be upset with him.
The happiness leaves my system when I look to the sidelines.
My worst nightmare is happening right in front of me, Sierra and Emily are standing next to each other and Sierra is showing her something from her phone. By the look on Emily's face whatever she was shown delights her.
I feel nauseous. All I can think about is all the old school photos Sierra has of me. All the embarrassing stories and videos. I couldn't breathe, I needed to get out of here.
So that's what I do, suddenly my limp is gone and I am running out of there to the safety of my room.
I don't go to the after-party or say goodbye to anyone, I go straight to my room and to my bed. After screaming in my pillow for a good ten minutes I pace around my room thinking of ideas. What could I even do?
I could pretend she photoshopped those pictures, maybe play dumb? No, she had way too much evidence...
I spend the rest of the evening in my room paranoid, every time my phone buzzes I feel like I am going to throw up. I was so scared of what they might do to me.
I guess there really is nothing I can do, I need to take a page out of Warner's book and not let them get to me.
That was easier said than done.
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