a/n at the end ~

———

Y/N laid with her head on Louis' chest, nuzzling into his side as he held her tightly in his arms, blinking hard to fight off the sleep. He wanted to spend their last hours together awake and present, but unfortunately they are human so they had to rest, even for a few hours.

It was currently 3 am, and Louis' thoughts were solely on the girl in his arms, trying to imprint this image in his mind. The way they perfectly fit together, her smell lingering around him and her messy hair layer out on the pillows.

Y/N, who was also awake, could practically hear Louis thinking, and squeezed his torso tightly, her eyes still shut. "Go to sleep, my love." She whispered, "I can hear that brain of your ticking away. I'll still be here in the morning."

Louis nodded against her head and when Y/N didn't feel him relax, she peeked her eyes open and planted a sleepy kiss to his jaw, using her hand to turn his face towards her.

Louis caught her hand and pressed his lips to her palm and then leaning against her touch, a small frown on his face.

Y/N brought her other hand up and traced his sharp jawline all the way to her hair, the black locks messed and awry, her fingers running through them gently. Her hand then moved to the nape of his neck, her thumb moving in slow circles.

"I'm not good and goodbyes." Louis mumbled quietly, looking into the E/C eyes watching him silently.

Her lips moved up in a sad smile, "It's not goodbye forever. It's only a few months. I'll be back." She assured, moving closer to him as his arms around her tightened.

"Why'd you have to be filming in LA? That's like the farthest place you could've picked." He pouted, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "And you're sure I can't come with you?"

"We've been over this, Lou. You have to stay here." Y/N said with a sigh. "And besides, thanks to modern technology we can communicate at any time of day. I don't care if it's 4 am in the morning or 10 at night, you call me, ok?" She asked, locking eyes with him.

Louis nodded quickly, pressing a kiss to her lips, finally, both too hesitant to draw away, Y/N mowing him closer using the hand on the back of his head.

When they finally pulled away, Louis rested his forehead against Y/N's, and mumbled, "I really fucking love you, and I'm going to miss you so much." He said, his voice breaking.

He hugged Y/N once more and buried his head in her neck, and Y/N teared up when she felt the teardrops hit her skin. "I really fucking love you too, Lou. And I'm gonna miss you so much more."

"Impossible."

Y/N let out a breathy laugh and squeezed him once more, wanting to stay in his embrace forever. "I'll love you for forever." Louis whispered into her ear making Y/N pull away a bit.

"Did you just reference Dear Evan Hansen?" She laugh a little, making Louis smile at the sound of her laughs.

"...Maybe."

"Oh my god, I love you." She said with a smile, giving him a quick peck on his lips and going back to their previous position with her head on his chest. "Goodnight, Lou."

"Goodnight, darling."

———

The pair woke up with a feeling of dread within them, both scared for what the day would bring.

During the car ride to the airport, Y/N and Louis were silent, her parent(s) was as well, looking sadly between the two as Y/N leaned against Louis and played with her hand absentmindedly, when he linked their fingers and kissed the back of her hand gently.

Arriving at the airport, Louis helped Y/N with her bags as they made their way through the bustling port, dodging rushing people and rowdy kids as they made their way through security and to Y/N's gate.

Louis never let go of Y/N's hand.

( Well, except to go through the security check, but that doesn't count. )

After saying goodbye to her parents and sending them away to give her and Louis some space, Y/N let out a deep breath and turned to Louis with a nervous smile as the plane announced that they would be boarding soon. "So... This is it."

Louis didn't even respond before taking her face in his hands and leaning down to meet her lips in a soft kiss, his usual discomfort with public displays of affection discarded as he just wanted to kiss her one last time.

When he pulled away he looked down at Y/N as she grabbed his jacket and muttered "One more," And going on the balls of her feet to reach him.

He smiled at her and hugged her tightly, his hand moving up and down her back in a comforting manner, her hoodie separating her from the warmth of his hands.

"Not goodbye forever." She whispered to him and Louis agreed, taking her hands and kissing her knuckles before letting them go, her section being called to board.

"I love you." He said to her and she pulled away from his embrace.

"I love you too." She said, running her hand over his cheek and kissing it one final time before going to get on the plane. "Goodbye, my london boy."

Louis smiled sadly at the nickname and waved goodbye. He watched until Y/N was out of sigh and sighed, going back to find her parent(s) watching the farewell with sad expression.

Not goodbye forever.