I had no reaction, at first. I was in too much of a shock to even move. I just stood there for what felt like hours, though it was probably only four seconds.

The next thing I did was scream. I screamed so loud and for so long that my throat nearly went numb. I honestly didn't even know how long I screamed for, but I guess that wasn't what was important.

The third thing I did was fall to my knees and crawl toward the bathtub. The shower was on, but there was no one in it. That wasn't what I was looking at right then. What I was looking at was what was on the floor.

I was crying; I was practically sobbing. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. This didn't seem real. How could there be a body on the floor in front of me?

Mona wasn't moving. She didn't even look like she was breathing. Blood ran from her temple and onto her face. Next to her, there was an empty bottle of prescription sleeping pills. And when I looked over at the tub, I could see where she had hit her head on the brim.

I couldn't think straight. I turned off the shower, hoping that that would somehow help, but it didn't. It made everything worse, because now I was in complete and utter silence, on a tiled bathroom floor next to an unconscious girl.

I checked her pulse, but felt nothing. There wasn't anything else I could have done, so I knew that I had to call the police. She needed medical attention immediately.

I shakily pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed nine-one-one. It was the first time I had ever called it in my entire life, and I had always hoped that I'd never have to. But now, that hope was shattered.

"911, what is your emergency?" the dispatcher asked as she answered, and for a second, I lost the ability to speak. I just let out a squeak and the dispatcher didn't even hear me. "Hello?"

"Please, help," I finally begged, unable to look at Mona as I curled up into a ball beside her. "My friend... she's unconscious on the floor in her bathroom. Please, she needs help!"

I knew Mona and I weren't exactly friends, but at that moment, it wasn't important. The important thing was getting her help before it was too late. I just hoped it wasn't too late...

The dispatcher then asked for the address of the house, and I pulled the phone away from my ear so I could check the text message with her address on it. After finding it, I relayed it to the dispatcher and she told me that help was on the way.

I hadn't locked the door when I came inside, so I wouldn't have to let any officers in. That was good, because I didn't want to leave Mona's side.

"It's going to be okay, alright?" I cried, clutching onto her hand tightly. "They're going to be here any second and then they're going to help you. You're going to be okay, Mona, alright? You're going to be okay."

The last time I had spoken to her, we had had a fight. I purposely angered her because I thought it was fun. I now immediately regretted ever doing that.

How could this even be happening? How could she be here, but then not? I used to think that I wouldn't have even cared if she just disappeared, but being here with her when she could have really disappeared at any moment, I couldn't believe I had ever thought that way.

I was suddenly pulled away by a cop, but I was too stunned to really stop him from pulling me out of the bathroom and into the hallway. But I could still see through the open door as the paramedics worked on the still, unconscious Mona.

I couldn't stop staring at the dried blood on her forehead. Not only did she have to overdose, but she had to hit her head on the bathtub as well. This whole thing was horrible; there was no way this could have gotten any worse.

"I'm sorry," one of the paramedics said, sighing as he lightly pushed away from Mona. "There's nothing we can do. It's too late. She's gone."

And that was when it got worse.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Mona couldn't actually be dead, could she? That wasn't possible. She had been around since the beginning of the school year; she had been a huge part of my life, even if it hadn't all been positive. And now she was just... gone? This couldn't be happening!

She was gone. Pronounced dead at the scene. Dead.

I started screaming and sobbing again, collapsing back onto the ground in a shaking mess. With my hands covering my face, I couldn't see who was helping me up off the floor, though I was sure it was a cop.

I felt myself be guided down the stairs, but I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to leave Mona. She couldn't really be gone.

I didn't believe it. It couldn't have been true. It had all happened so quickly, and I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. But I wasn't about to let myself throw up in Mona's house.

I was placed on the couch in the living room downstairs, and I didn't try to go back upstairs. As much as I wanted to be with Mona, I didn't think I'd be able to handle being so close to her lifeless body once again.

Why had I been the one she had called for? Why had I been the one that had to find her? Was this some kind of punishment she was giving me from beyond the grave? Because I now felt horrible and guilty for everything I had ever done or said to her. Was that what she wanted? Because if it was, it worked.

When a paramedic made his way down the stairs, I expected him to go get a gurney. Instead, he turned away from the front door and toward me. "Are you Leah?" the paramedic asked me, and I only nodded. He glanced down at his hand. "She left this for you."

I looked down to see that he was holding a note out for me, my name printed in pretty letters on the front. I didn't want to touch it. I didn't even want to look at it. But I knew I had to, so I took it anyway.

The paramedic left me and made his way back upstairs and into the bathroom, and I just sat there, staring down at the note. This was the last thing Mona had written before she died. And it was written to me.

I unfolded it carefully, letting out a breath as I began to read the last thing Mona would ever write to anyone.

Dear Leah,

I wanted you to be the one to find me. I know that's probably selfish and disgusting, but I wanted the last person I spoke with to be you. Even though I'm not actually speaking. We just had a lot of unfinished business that I guess won't ever really be finished. I also didn't want Blake to see me like this, and there was no one else for me to call for.

I love Blake more than anything. I always have. I thought I got over him after he left our old school, but after I saw him again, I knew that I'd always love him. And seeing him with you drove me absolutely insane. Knowing that he was in love with someone else, especially someone as beautiful and as talented as you, crushed me. I was jealous of you. I was so jealous of you that it was unhealthy. I even hit you with a car. I didn't mean to—honestly, I didn't—it just happened. I got behind the wheel, blacked out, and the next thing I knew, I was at home. I didn't know anything was wrong until I heard from the kids at school that you had gotten hit. But I knew that I had been the one that almost killed you. And I'm so, so sorry for that. For everything. I really am. But I don't expect you to forgive me. You really don't have to.

You're beautiful, Leah. I almost find it funny that you actually thought I was competition for Blake. I was nowhere near competition. I tried to think that I was; but I've realized that I'm nothing compared to you. He loved you so much; he talked about you all the time. I knew he would never feel, and he had never felt, that way about me. He was always just being nice to me. He'll only ever have eyes for you.

I just want you to know that I'm not killing myself just because Blake chose you over me. That would be really pathetic. Of course that's part of it, but there are other reasons as well. I don't get along with my family is one reason. My step-mother hates me, and my dad always takes her side. My sister Fiona is never home because she's in a band that's really popular and she travels all around the country. Another reason is because I don't have any other friends. That was why I'd always go to Blake. He was the only friend I truly ever had. And after he chose you, I knew I had lost him forever. Even as my friend.

So I'm sorry. I can never say sorry enough. So I'll leave you with this. Thank you for treating me like a friend before you found out Blake and I knew each other. That really meant a lot to me. Back then, I thought we could have been really good friends. Unfortunately, I guess I was wrong.

Take care of Blake, okay? And yourself. I want you both to live long and happy lives. Together.

Sincerely, Ramona Ophelia Barnes

P.S. If you're crying, please don't. It's not worth it. If you're not crying, then I don't blame you.

I was crying. I didn't think I'd ever be able to stop.

I had said many times that I had hated this girl, because I honestly thought that I did. I thought that she was trying to take my boyfriend away from me, and even though she was, she hadn't ever been a real threat. Because I knew Blake loved me.

I had been overreacting over absolutely nothing. I was the reason why Blake cut Mona out of his life, so I was also the reason why she killed herself. I knew that I'd never be able to forgive myself for this. I was the cause of someone's death.

I had almost been the cause of someone's death only once before this, but he survived. Why was Blake so lucky, while Mona wasn't? We might have not gotten along, but that didn't mean I wanted her to die.

I didn't even care that Mona had been the one to hit me with a car. I was actually glad that it had been her, because now I didn't have to worry about someone coming after me again. And it was a way for her to get some of her anger out at me, even if she didn't realize she was doing it.

"Let me take you home." The officer helped me up off the couch and in the direction of the front door. "Did you drive here yourself?"

I had, but I knew that there was no way I'd be able to drive back to my house. I was shaking too much and my eyesight was too blurry from my tears. I was going to have to get someone to go pick up my car later, since there was no way I'd ever be able to come back.

I sat in the front seat of the cop car, which was strange. It wasn't like I had ever been in the back before, but that was what I always saw on TV or in movies. But this was real life, and I hadn't committed a crime. So I got to sit in the front.

I didn't give the cop directions to my house. I told him to go to Blake's. I didn't tell him that this was actually my boyfriend's house, because he didn't need to know that. I highly doubted he would have taken me there if he knew, anyway.

The cop wanted to walk me up to the door when we got there, but I refused. I could manage to get up the stairs and to Blake's apartment by myself. I could stop crying long enough to function enough to do that.

It took me a second to knock on Blake's door. I didn't even know if he was home. He hadn't answered any of my calls or texts, and I still had no idea where he was. Mona hadn't given me the answer I was expecting.

It took me a minute or two, but I finally knocked on Blake's door. There was no answer, so I knocked even louder. But I guess he just wasn't home.

I turned to leave—I'd find a way home somehow—but then the door opened to reveal my boyfriend, who I had been so worried about all day.

Blake's eyes went wide when he saw me. "Leah, are you okay?"

I didn't know the answer to that question. I was standing there, shaking, my eyes swollen and red. Maybe I was a lot less okay than I thought I was.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" I demanded, hitting him in the shoulder as hard as I could. He took a step back, shocked. "I've been calling and texting you all day!"

He seemed surprised that I was acting this way. He thought I was crying and shaking because I was worried about him. If he had continued to not answer me, I probably would have been reacting like this. But right then, I was acting like this for a completely different reason.

"I was at the hospital all day," he informed me, taking another step back in case I was going to hit him again. "Dr. Carlisle wanted to see me and I forgot my phone here. I just got back a few minutes ago."

I let out a sigh of relief. I had been at the hospital only an hour beforehand, but Dr. Carlisle's office was on the other side of the hospital from where I had been with Sean. We were in the same place, just opposite sides of it.

Finally, I broke down once again. I fell into Blake's arms and just started sobbing. This felt right, but then so wrong. Because this was the boy Mona loved so much, the boy she had wanted to hold her. But he was holding me instead while I cried over her death.

"Leah," he whispered, his grip on me tightening. "What happened?"

I didn't know how I was supposed to break it to him. Even though he had cut off all contact with her, she had still been his friend. She had even been his ex-girlfriend. So once upon a time, he did have some kind of feelings for her.

Finally, I decided to tell him everything that had happened, leaving out what Mona had said in the note. She never told me that she didn't want Blake to see it, but I was going to protect her privacy with my life. I wasn't ever going to let anyone see this note.

When Blake bashed his fist against his table, I jumped. I expected him to get angry, but it almost scared me how angry he was. I didn't blame him for feeling this way though, because I honestly felt a little angry myself.

"Blake," I whimpered, placing my hand on his back and rubbing up and down. "Please, don't be angry."

"I have every right to be angry," he snapped, though he didn't snap at me. He shook his head. "I'm angry that she did it, but I'm also angry that she asked you to come over so you could find her. That's absolutely disgusting. You didn't deserve that."

I remembered all the things I had said about her in the past. Maybe I did deserve it.

Blake covered his face in his hands and sat down on the couch. He was still trying to process the information that I had just given him. I didn't blame him, since I was still trying to process it as well.

"How could this happen?" he groaned, his head still in his hands as I sat next to him. "How is she gone?"

I was asking myself those same questions, but I knew neither of us would ever get an answer. It just seemed so unreal.

"I've always been so afraid that she would do something to hurt herself," Blake now said, finally pulling his head from his hands as he looked up at me "But I never thought she'd actually go through with anything like this."

I bit the inside of my lip. "Neither did I."

"Mona was diagnosed with depression when we were thirteen," Blake informed me, staring down at the ground. "Ever since then, I was always afraid that she'd do something to herself. She was also bipolar."

I just sat there, taking this new information in. The fact that Mona had been depressed didn't surprise me very much, but the fact that she was bipolar was. I never would have thought that she was bipolar, so I assumed she took medication for it.

I placed my hand on Blake's back, rubbing it to try and comfort him. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek before placing my head on his shoulder. It took him a second to reach and wrap his arm around me, pulling me closer.

We both just sat there for a while, both in shock. There wasn't anything we could have said to each other to change the situation, so we said nothing. We only sat there, holding each other, and I would have been perfectly fine with staying like this forever.

When my phone vibrated, I jumped. I then pulled it out to see that it was only a text from Sean.

Jaz is now in stable condition, the text said, and I wanted to feel happy, but at that moment, I just couldn't. She's expected to make it.

I just stared down at my phone for a moment. Jaz was okay. She was hurt, but she was going to survive. Mona, however, was dead. And she was never going to have the chance to come back for a second try.

All I could send Sean back was, Great!

I added a smiley face, though I was not smiling. But Sean was already going through so much that I didn't want to inform him of Mona's death. I wanted him to focus solely on Jaz, so I was not going to bother him.

One friend was saved, while another was lost. The world was such a cruel place to be in. It was unfair. So unfair. I thought I had gotten over my strong belief that life should be fair, but I guess I hadn't.

It had been unfair that Blake got to listen to music while no one else could, though he had a good reason to do so. It had been unfair that I got special treatment just because I was popular. It was unfair that Blake and I had to be separated. It was unfair that Mona had lost her life.

Even if she had taken it herself. If she had felt so lonely, so depressed, that she thought the only way out was by death, then it wasn't her fault. It was mine, and whoever else had isolated her for whatever reason.

I wished that I had known that she felt this way. If I knew that it would have came to this, I never would have treated her like I had. But I guess everyone says that, right? You never think until it's too late.

I snuggled into Blake even more a he leaned back into the couch, and we both still said nothing. I was sure we'd talk about this later, we had to, but right then, we just had to get through the initial shock. I didn't know how long that was going to take, but at least being together would heal the pain a little quicker.

I hugged Blake tighter than I ever had before, even when he had woken up in the hospital all those months before. I never realized how easily you could lose a person. I had almost lost him, I had almost lost Jaz, and now we had lost Mona. I had to appreciate everyone around me before it was too late.

Blake kissed the top of my head and kept his lips in my hair, knowing that this always made me feel better. And all I could do while we sat there was apologize to Mona. Apologize for all the horrible things I had ever done or said to her, apologize for taking Blake, and apologize for not getting there in time.

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That was really depressing to write. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be... I mean, it's been planned out for so long, but actually having to write it was actually really difficult. :(

Only one chapter left! That really breaks my heart...

Please COMMENT, VOTE, AND FAN!