Pain radiated through my body and bounced throughout my soul. Ear shattering screams escaped my lips as blood leaked down my forehead, my body desperately trying to fight through the magic that was pulsating through me as it tried to heal the painful mark. Atonya's foreign, conviction filled words filled my ears, but we're almost drowned out by my screaming. I could barely feel Greyson's hand in my own.

Then I felt it.

The familiar, addictive power that was slowly seeping into my system. I craved it. I yearned for it. There was nothing more that I wanted than the animalistic bliss that Atonya was slowly giving me. All too soon, I felt the familiar shadow over my heart and taking in my energy like a black hole. "Atonya!" I screamed, warning her. I felt the darkness. It was calling me, yearning for me as I yearned for the power that was growing within me at a rapid pace. The violent, lustful power. I wanted it. I wanted him. Suddenly, my body ached for Greyson, his touch sending a wildfire of desire throughout my bones and nerves.

She chanted louder, only the whites of her eyes showing as her words became faster and more driven. No. She needed to stop.

It was becoming too strong within me.

But it felt so good.

I felt River slowly starting to change. She was getting drunk off the power too.

"Atonya," Greyson growled as he looked at me, his eyes black with want and longing swimming laps in them. He could feel the change.

Just seeing him drove me wild.

"Atonya!" He yelled, authority and urgency pulsing through his voice. And in an instant, the feeling was gone and I found myself shaking in Greyson's arms.

That was too close.

Atonya cursed.

"We were so close," she muttered before looking at me. "Could you feel it?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

"I felt it," Greyson confirmed. "It felt...amazing." He sounded as baffled as I felt. "But it was just too-"

"Dark," Atonya filled in. "They always lean too dark." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked down at the scroll that was at her feet, our last option. "I have no choice. I have to go into the ancestral realm. They have to know something or be able to do something. They have to."

I gave her a tired nod, physically and mentally tired to do anything else. We'd been at it for almost a week, constantly trying new spells to change me. I remembered the first time I felt it. I was scared and confused, but as it continued to grow stronger within me each time we tried, I found myself welcoming it. Opting it better to become a lycan than to constantly endure the torture of spells up to seven times every day. It was too much.

Today had been the closet we'd gotten.

We'd been this close. I felt it.

"Do you need us?" Greyson offered and thankfully she shook her head. "You two are too weak. Besides, the ancestors don't care much for werewolves in their sacred space. I'll be back when I find something. If you need me," she said as she took out her ritualistic knife and pressed it to Greyson's arm before muttering something under her breath as she carved a rune into his bicep, "just call." Once she was done with him, she moved to me. I tensed. "Don't worry, Avery. This one is painless. I'm not channeling you." I nodded as she repeated the same process to me, the knife barely feeling like a scratch.

"Good. Now take her. She's weak and needs as much time as she can to recover. No training until at least tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Greyson said as he picked me up bridal style. "Be careful in there."

"I will," she said. "Now go. I can't risk you two getting sucked in with me."

Greyson went without protest. As we climbed up the stairs he kissed my forehead. "You're doing good, little wolf. I'm so proud of you."

I tried to hum in response but instead, it came out as a weak whimper.

He sighed. "I know, but we're almost there, then the real work will begin and we can get back to the pack."

I nodded.

Once we entered the bathroom, Greyson set me on the toilet seat as he moved to the bath and started running it. We hadn't tried to take a shower since the first day of Atonya's tests to turn me lycan. I collapsed and nearly hit my head on the ground. The only reason Greyson wasn't so weak was because he was already a lycan, thus strong enough the be Atonya's source of power while I was what she was digging into and trying to mold into the perfect balance to Greyson, more specifically to Gavin.

Once the bath was full he approached me and carefully stripped me down until I was bare. "Can you walk on your own?"

I instantly shook my head. My body was still violently shaking.

Without another word, he picked me up bridal style and gently lowered me into the bath. The warm water cascaded over me and started relaxing my aching body. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the edge of the tub.

"There there," Greyson gently said as he began washing me, carefully and slowly. He traveled along my body, lifting my legs to wash them as well as my arms since I was too weak to do either. "Do you feel better?" he asked as he scooped me out of the bath after he'd finished bathing me.

"Yeah," I said, my voice light and weak as he sat me down once more and kneeled down so he could start drying me off. "I'm just ready for it to be over."

"Me too, little wolf," he said as he finished drying my legs and started working on my torso. "I hate seeing you in pain."

I gave him a weak smile as I ran a hand through his hair. "I'm fine, Greyson. Like Atonya said, I'm strong, it just takes a lot out of me, that's all."

Greyson hummed in response.

"Uh, Grey?" I said once he finished drying me and wrapped the towel around my body.

"Yeah?" He asked as he picked me up and moved me toward our room.

"When Atonya was doing the spell...I felt the power, the lycan power I mean. And...I felt drawn to you. Like insanely drawn to you. Is that how you normally feel?"

Greyson chuckled. "All the time."

My eyebrows furrowed as I recalled the intense feeling that had moved through me, the desire to have Greyson greater than the desire to breathe. "How do you control it?"

" I satisfy it in other ways like touching you whenever I can and intaking your scent. But mainly, I take one breath at a time and focus on making you happy in other ways."

"Is it hard?"

"Extremely," he instantly said as he sat me down on the bed and started rummaging through the drawers to find some clothes for me. "But I think the urges will subside after we've mated."

I let out a sigh. "Good, because I do not think I could handle that every waking moment of every day. I mean, it's like I was addicted in a way I've never felt before. It was kind of scary actually."

"I know, but trust me, it gets easier." He approached me with one of his t-shirts- which I already knew would be way too big for me- and a pair of my boy-short style underwear. "Is this okay?" I nodded before he helped me get into my underwear and slid my shirt over my head.

"I don't understand how you can see me naked all the time and still be in control. I mean, even River has a hard time seeing you naked and she's normal."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "You have to find something else to focus on then," he said before he went into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he started running his shower.

I laid on the bed of a while until I felt like my body had regained its strength. I slowly stood up and took calculated, shaky steps toward the bookshelf that was in the corner of our room, classics lining the shelves. I found an original copy of Moby Dick- Atonya wasn't lying when she'd said that she'd been around for a while- then settled myself into the window seat. However, I couldn't bring myself to focus on the words on the page, but rather the night sky. A full moon was coming soon and I needed the comfort that it usually offered me. However, there was a sinking feeling growing in my lower stomach that wasn't quite familiar. It was heavy and warm but it didn't make me worried. It was probably some of the remains of the spell Atonya had performed.

I opted to pay the heavy feeling no mind.

***