"Here, drink up," Greyson gently instructed as he handed me a warm mug of tea. I slowly inhaled, but I couldn't recognize its scent. "It was a secret recipe my mother taught me to help me control...myself," he said as he read my expression. I nodded as a silent thanks before I lifted the cup up to my lips, my hands slightly shaking as I did so. As soon as the warm liquid flowed over my taste buds, I quickly pulled back and forced it down as my burning taste buds cried out in pain. "I'm sorry," Greyson instantly apologized but I shook my head signaling to him that he had nothing to be sorry for. After I cooled down, the after taste of the beverage filled my mouth and sent a relaxing feeling through my body. I let out a sigh.

"Do you like it?" Greyson curiously asked as he climbed onto his side of the bed and I nodded. I hadn't spoken much since my "episode" earlier, afraid that all I'd do was slip back into my hysteric, weak state. I hated feeling weak. "Good," he said before looking at me for a few moments as if he wanted to say something but was too afraid to.

"What?" I asked, my voice still hoarse from my screams and sobs.

"I just want you to feel safe, Avery, but it seems like you don't feel that way around me. I don't blame you though, I wouldn't trust me either. It's just..." he sighed as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. "I want you to be happy and as much as I hate it, if you'd rather I stay away or stay in the pack house then-"

"Greyson, don't do this."

"Do what?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling together in genuine confusion.

"This. Beat yourself up about what Gavin did to me. It's not that I don't trust you, it's him that I don't trust. If I didn't trust you then I would've rejected you and gone searching for another pack by now." I looked down at the mug in my hands and sighed. "Remember when I said that this was going to be hard and take some time? This is exactly what I meant. I have memories and scars and they're not just going to go away because I forgive you. They're always going to be there, we just need to push through it, that's all. So if you want to feel bad about something, feel bad about what you did, not him."

Greyson looked at me for a second before he nodded and situated himself so that his head was resting on my stomach and his arms were wrapped around my waist. He'd never done this before, but I instantly decided that I liked it. One of my hands made their way to his hair and I felt him relax under my touch as sparks moved through me. "We're going to be okay, Avery," he whispered before he placed a gentle kiss on a part of my stomach that had been exposed due to my shirt riding up a bit. I felt tingles in my toes. He held me tighter and closed his eyes, burning his face in my stomach. We stayed there for a while until I was finished with my tea, my body relaxed and my mind tranquil. I looked at Greyson to see that he'd fallen into a slow and steady breathing pattern and his lips were slightly parted causing his warm breath to move over my stomach in soft waves.

We'd both had an exhausting day but I needed to shower and didn't want to wake him, but his grip on me made it nearly impossible for me to slip by unnoticed. But I had to try.

I silently set my empty mug on the nightstand next to me before I gently started shimmying out of his grasp, using some positions I'd learned in training to try to break free without waking him. But I should've known better.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice heavy with sleep and his eyes still closed.

"I need to shower," I explained. "I wasn't able to have one after training and I feel gross." At those words, his eyes opened and he sat up.

"Do you need Natalie's help? I know you're still a bit weakened by everything that happened in the past few days. I can call her if you need."

"No, I don't need her," I said before I sheepishly looked down. "But you can come if you want to."

"Avery, I don't know if that's a good idea," Greyson tentatively said. "Seeing you bare gets me emotional and when I get emotional, you know what could happen."

"I know," I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I was just hoping this could be like a control thing, you know? Putting yourself in a situation where you have to practice restraint so that'll be one less thing we had to worry about but...I don't know, it was stupid."

Slightly embarrassed, I made a move to get up and head toward the bathroom, but Greyson grabbed my hand to stop me. I turned back to him, but I didn't meet his eyes. "Look at me, Avery," he gently said as he cupped my cheek and tilted my head up so that I was looking into his moss green eyes. "It's not stupid, I'm just scared that I'll hurt you again, and that's the last thing I was to do."

"I know," I softly said as o put my hand on top of his. "But I trust you, Greyson. I know you're strong enough to fight this, you just need to have faith in yourself. But if you don't want to, it's fine. I'm not going to force you into doing something that you don't want to do." With that, I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me before I did my usual routine of turning on the shower and brushing my teeth until the steam fogged up the mirror. I tried not to look at the bruise that was still prominent against my skin.

I popped in a Hozier CD that Natalie had given to me before I pressed play, stripped, and hopped into the warm shower. I was instantly lost in his voice as I slowly washed my body, and between the music and the sound of the water as it rained down on me, I didn't realize that Greyson had entered the bathroom until he was standing right behind me in the shower, causing me to jump a bit. "Sorry," he said with a slight chuckle as he looked down at me, his dark hair looking even darker when it was wet. "But if the offer still stands, I think I'd like to take you up on it."

I had to bite my bottom lip to prevent the smile that was forming. Not only did he trust my judgment, but he was also finally trusting himself. "I think I can manage."

He smiled. "Natalie is outside just in case though."

I nodded before I handed him my towel, placing full control and trust into him though I was a bit scared. "You can do this," I softly said. "Just keep your eyes on mine." He nodded before he moved a bit closer to me, carefully pressing his fingertips against the low of my back before gently placing his whole hand. He carefully moved the towel across my shoulders and chest breaking eye contact every now and then before returning once more. He continued his delicate balancing act of looking at my eyes, looking at my body, then returning to my eyes as he washed me. "You're doing good," I softly said as his hands started approaching my lower stomach. He hesitated. Suddenly, his forehead was on mine and his eyes were closed as he took deep breaths, though his hand hadn't moved.

"I don't think I can go any further without trying to take you, Avery," he lowly said as he looked into my eyes.

"You don't have to," I reassured as I took the towel from his hand. "You did really well, and I'm proud of you, Grey. Baby steps, alright?" He nodded his head against mine before I took a step back, finished washing before I took his towel in my hand. "May I?"

He nodded in response, his eyes locking onto mine. I brought a wet hand up to his face and cupped his cheek while I used the other to gently glide the towel over his face; first his eyebrows, then his eyes, then his cheeks. His eyes analyzed my every move as I washed him though I was studying his muscular, tattooed body. Hozier's beautiful voice was the only sound to be heard. In order to avoid teasing him, I stopped halfway down his stomach before I offered him the towel which he took before he turned so that his back was to me.

As he finished washing, I took some shampoo and gathered it in my hands before i ran it through his scalp, something I'd never done before. My hands were slightly shaking due to all the emotions that were running through me. Happiness, a bit of confusion, and a tornado of other things that seemed to mix together as they spun around in my head. I was also acutely aware that the last time Greyson and I had showered together was the night before all hell broke loose...and I met Gavin and I hadn't even known. I shook that thought out of my head and tried to calm my shaking hands as I continued running them through Greyson's hair.

When I was done with everything, Greyson turned so that we were chest and chest again. "Thank you," he softly said, his voice almost getting lost between the water and music.

"For what?"

"Putting faith in me and helping me get through this." He cupped my cheek and gently ran his thumb over my cheek. "I love you and I won't stop fighting for you, whether it's against Phoenix or Gavin, I won't stop because I really, truly love you."

My heart fluttered, but I wasn't ready to say it back. I knew I felt something strong for him, but I wasn't ready to label it, so instead of speaking I merely put my hand on top of his.

He leaned in, hesitant at first, but once he saw that I wasn't pulling away he continued leaning in until there was less than an inch between us. His breath washed over my lips and he was asking me a silent question.

In response, I gently gripped his chin and leaned in so that my lips came into gentle contact with his. The kiss was slow and tender and drowning in intimacy. But we both knew that this was more than just a kiss. It was me telling him that I trusted him with everything. That he was going to love and protect me. That I wasn't going to leave him when he needed me the most. That he was going to fight for me. That we would get through all of this together. This wasn't just a mundane kiss, it was a promise. And we both understood.

He moved his hands around my slick waist and I cupped his cheeks between my pruned fingertips. And we stayed like that for a while; a moment that felt like it was trapped in time, making promises to each other without saying a single word.

I wondered if Natalie could hear how fast my heart was beating.

***

I should've been asleep but my mind was racing.

I looked at the clock. It read 3:12 am. I sighed. Greyson has made us an amazing dinner over seven hours ago and had fallen asleep over five hours ago, yet I couldn't get a blink of sleep. I need to go on a walk to clear my head.

Greyson was in the same position he'd been in earlier: his arms around my waist and his head buried in my stomach. Luckily, his grip on my body was looser than it had been earlier, so it was easier for me to slip out and use a pillow as a replacement. I silently slid on some shoes and one of Greyson's sweatshirts before I snuck out of our room and out the front door, careful not to wake Greyson, Matthew, or Natalie, the last two staying in the room right next to Greyson and I's.

There was a nice breeze that enveloped me and I felt calm as I began walking. The pack was still, something that only happened doe at night when the Warriors and border patrols are at their posts and everyone else is asleep.

I hadn't realized where I was going until I was face to face with a familiar building: the prison. I swallowed but I willed myself to continue on, offering the guard a slight nod as I walked past. I was glad he didn't try to stop me or ask if Greyson knew I was here.

The smell of blood, vomit, and pee instantly filled my house as groans, whimpers, and sobs filled my ears. I felt my heart drop at the conditions. But if monsters like Andrew were kept here, they deserved far worse. The thought caused all sympathy that I had to disappear.

I allowed my feet to continue leading me until I was in front of the cell that belonged to the man I hated most: Andrew. I could smell his blood and hear his shallow breathing. I could see the outline of his slumped over figure in the darkness. I had to keep myself from finishing what I'd started the last time I was here.

Despite how terrible of a person he was and how badly I wanted him dead, we needed him. The very thought made me want to gag, but it was true. He was a good fighter and he's led an attack on Phoenix before, so he knows how his Warriors and patrol fights. I knew we couldn't trust him completely but maybe if we-

My thoughts were cut off by arms wrapping around me, I was about to scream when I felt familiar sparks move through me. "You shouldn't be in here," Greyson lowly chastised before he picked me up and quickly walked out the way I'd come.

"But Greyson I-"

"Not here," he said, cutting me off just as we made it out. He turned to the guard. "Never let her back in here unless I'm with her or I give you specific instructions to do so, understood?"

"Yes, Alpha. I'm sorry Alpha," the guard submitted, causing Greyson to nod before he started carrying me back home.

"I think that was uncalled for," I said as I pushed myself out of his arms so that I was standing on my own and looking at him.

"Avery, you don't know the people in there. You're too trusting. You want to see the good in people and there is nothing but darkness in there. They will take advantage of you and one wrong move..." he trailed off before shaking his head. "Never go back in there without me, got it? Why were you even there? I woke up without you and I was terrified that something had happened and-"

"I'm fine, Grey," I gently said as I cupped his cheek to calm him down. "I'm fine." He looked down at me, searching my eyes as if to make sure that I wasn't hiding anything before he slowly nodded.

"Why were you in there?" I softly asked again, almost whispering.

"Andrew," I said, causing his jaw to clench.

"I know that I should've killed him Avery, but I just wanted him to suffer before he died, and over the past few weeks he slipped my mind, but if you want him dead, I will go in there right now and rip the heart out of that pathetic son of a-"

"No," I said, cutting him off. "I mean, yes, but later. Right now we need him." Greyson's eyebrows furrowed in confusion but I continued on before he could speak. "He's attacked Phoenix and his pack before. He knows how they fight, how they think. As much as I hate to say it, he's our best bet when it comes to figuring out how to break down their strategy because the closest I'd ever gotten to Phoenix's fighters were..." I trailed, unable to complete the sentence. Greyson put his hand on top of mine that was resting in my cheek to comfort me.

"So what do we say we do?" He gently asked, trusting my judgment.

"We use him. We don't fully trust him, obviously, but we know that he won't try anything, especially if he thinks that he's getting another chance. Then after this battle...I'll decide what I want done to him."

Greyson nodded before he brushed some of my hair from my face. "Whatever you want, I'll do. I trust your judgment." I offered him a small smile before I took his hand in mine.

"Well in that case, I think I want you to take me back to bed."

A smile of his own took place on his features before he suddenly picked me up bridal style, causing me to slightly yelp. His smile grew. "Off to bed it is."