NOVEMBER 30, 2016 - 1 YEAR AFTER

A SNOWSTORM RAGED outside my bedroom window, violent wind swirling the white flakes and obscuring my view. I focused on the sounds of the storm, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. Despite the chaos, I felt calm. Naomi sat next to me, my head resting on her shoulder. She reached up to wipe away her tears, and I blinked rapidly, somehow managing to keep my emotions in check.

I'd just told her everything.

It was as if talking to Will had opened the floodgates, and as soon as I saw Naomi, it all spilled out of me. But it felt good, like I was finally letting her see the real me—including the ugly parts—for the first time. And she'd accepted me with open arms, without hesitation. In the past, I'd wondered if my friends thought of me as villains for breaking Will's heart without an apparent reason. It was clear now that had never been the case.

"I'm so glad you told me," she said, her voice thick.

I lifted my head, offering her a watery, close-lipped smile. "Thank you for listening."

"Of course," she remarked emphatically, her brown eyes wide and earnest. She adjusted her position on my bed, tucking a section of her dark hair behind her ear. "I always knew there had to be a deeper reason for everything. You kind of disappeared those last couple months before you left. Like, you were there, but you weren't. I didn't know how to help you. I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend."

I shook my head, eyebrows creasing. "You don't have to apologize. I appreciated that you didn't pry."

Naomi pursed her lips, looking displeased with my answer. "I'm always going to be in your corner, babe. You know that, right? You never have to worry about how I'm going to react to something," she assured me. "I would help you cover up a murder."

A laugh bubbled out of me. "I sincerely hope it never comes to that."

"Bitch, me too," she quipped, sniffling. "But I'd still help you."

"I'd help you, too," I said warmly.

She rewarded me with a smile. "You're so strong, Viv. You're the strongest person I know."

A lump formed in my throat. I'd never felt particularly strong until recently. On the contrary, I'd felt weak, pathetic for not being able to be honest with myself, and the people around me. But I'd gone through so much the past and a half, and I'd gone through it alone. I needed to give myself more credit.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"On a lighter note, it's been ages since we've talked, and I've been wanting to bug you about this," she said, her eyes taking on a mischievous glint, though they were still rimmed with red.

"Oh no," I said, grimacing.

"I heard you kissed Ravi."

I placed my head in my hands, cheeks immediately warming. "Naomi," I moaned. "Please don't bring that up right now. That was so humiliating."

"Aw, come on," she teased, not bothering to hide the laughter in her voice as she jostled my shoulder. "It's cute."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, still refusing to show my face. "It would've saved me so much time."

"I'm sorry!" She cringed. "I thought you knew we were both gay."

"I obviously knew about you." I gave her a flat look. "But you failed to mention Ravi's sudden interest in me wasn't romantic in the slightest."

Naomi crinkled her nose, looking at me apologetically. "He just wanted to be your friend. As he should."

"I wanted to be his friend, too," I said. "And I didn't actually want to kiss him. I was just confused."

"Whatever you say, babe."

I rolled my eyes amicably. I didn't know if I'd ever stop feeling embarrassed over the whole Ravi situation, but it was nice to know it hadn't changed the friendship between the three of us. I wasn't lying, though, I hadn't truly wanted to kiss Ravi. I'd known who I wanted, and it had never been him.

"Anyway," I remarked, purposely changing the subject, "I heard you're seeing someone."

Naomi blinked, caught off guard. She looked uncharacteristically bashful. "Maybe. . ." she trailed off meaningfully.

"Tell me," I urged, intrigued. "When do I get to meet her?"

She fidgeted with her fingers, stalling for time. "Um," she started. "I've been wondering when to say something, but. . . you actually know her already."

"Oh? What's her name?"

"Sabrina." She winced.

My lips parted. We stared at each other for a few beats, and I wondered if I'd heard her right. Surely she must have been kidding. But there were no traces of humor anywhere on her pretty features. I shook my head slowly.

"As in, Sabrina Nunez?" I pressed. Maybe she knew a different Sabrina.

She nodded once. "That's the one."

I gaped at her, still in shock.

"I know," she blurted, giddy. "It just kind of happened. I wasn't, like, pining after her when she was with Will or anything. I always thought she was cute, but you know, she wasn't an option, and I didn't know her very well, anyway. Then one night I was at Culver's and she was there, too. We really hit it off, and things just progressed from there."

I felt my face melting into a smile as she spoke. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen her so excited about someone. And they both deserved to be happy.

"I really like her, Viv," she told me. "But I'm afraid to tell Will, so we've been keeping it quiet."

"I'm happy for you, Naomi. I think you guys are a good match."

Her shoulders sagged in relief. "Really?"

"Of course," I said sincerely. "I'm sure Will won't have a problem with it. He'll probably be shocked, but I'm sure he'll be happy for you both."

My voice caught a little on Will's name, and I cleared my throat. I hadn't heard from him since I found him at Moody Beach, and even though his silence after finding out the truth was killing me, I was determined to give him space, the thing I'd been trying to do all year. I'd been constantly trying to put space between us for so long, but now that he'd asked it of me, I was struggling. The only thing keeping me from truly being at peace was not knowing how Will felt about everything.

"I'll tell him soon, but until then. . ." She looked at me hopefully.

"I won't say anything," I assured her gently.

"Thanks," she said, giving my hand a squeeze.

It seemed like it had been ages since Naomi and I were able to have a conversation about anything other than my wellbeing. Ever since I'd come back to Cape Vincent, she'd been something of a rock for me, and I wanted nothing more than to be the same for her.

I felt lighter than I had in months, like all of the weight I'd been carrying around with me had finally been released that day on the beach, dissipating into the salty air and setting me free.

Hours later, my phone rang.

We were watching a movie on my laptop, laying on our stomachs on my bed. It had been decided that Naomi would spend the night. We didn't live that far from each other, but it didn't seem worth it to have Naomi make her way home in the storm, and we were both happy for an excuse to spend more time together.

I reached for my cell where it was lying on top of my duvet, looking at the caller ID and frowning.

"It's Duncan," I said, audibly confused.

Naomi paused the movie, making a face. "Why is Fitzgerald calling you?"

"No idea." I pushed myself up into a sitting position, holding the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Viv," Duncan greeted, something off about his voice. "Hey."

"What's up?"

He sighed. "Look, I don't want you to freak out, but I'm at the hospital with Will."

I went completely still, as if his statement had frozen me in place. "What?" I asked, my grip tightening on the cell phone. Naomi shot me a worried look.

"He's okay," Duncan assured me quickly. "We're both okay. But we were in a car accident. Will got the brunt of it. They're going to run some tests before they let him leave. I just thought you should know."

I found myself shaking my head, unsure of what else to do. Fear snaked through my veins and into my chest, causing my fingers to tremble. My eyes locked with Naomi's, and she sat up straighter, registering the look on my face. "What happened?" I managed, feeling like all of the warmth had been sucked out of my bedroom.

My emotions were all over the place, not knowing where to land. The thought of Will being hurt in any capacity made my stomach twist with nausea. Despite knowing that he was okay, there was also the knowledge that my conversation with him on the beach could've been the last if things had gone any differently.

"I was trying to drive him home, but it's practically impossible to see. This car came out of nowhere. Everyone is okay, though," he reiterated. The remorse in his voice was clear.

"It's not your fault, Duncan," I murmured, still feeling numb.

"Thanks, Viv," he said, sounding resigned. "I gotta get going, I just wanted to tell you. You know, Will doesn't have any family here and. . . I guess it just feels like you're the person I should call right now."

He hung up the phone shortly after, and I wasn't even sure whether or not we said goodbye. I clutched the device in my fingers, unable to tear my gaze from the storm outside my window.

"Viv?" Naomi asked, touching my shoulder gently. "What's going on?"

"They were in a car accident," I said mechanically. "Duncan and Will. They're okay, but they're not letting Will go home yet."

The walls of my bedroom felt like they were closing in around me, like I could feel the rushing of the wind outside, and the pelting of snow against my skin. I didn't feel like I could believe Will was okay until I saw it with my own eyes.

"You want to go to the hospital, don't you?" Naomi said finally, less of a question than it was a statement.

My eyes flickered to her.

"Babe," she said incredulously, "it's awful out there. You wouldn't even let me drive myself home, I can't let you drive yourself to the hospital. It's so far."

"I'm being stupid," I said, shaking my head as I began to pace. "But I just know I'm not going to be able to relax until I see him. It would be ridiculous to go to the hospital though. I mean, Duncan said he's fine. It doesn't sound like it's serious."

"It would be ridiculous."

"Right?" I nodded, unable to keep myself from word vomiting. "All it takes is one look out the window to know that it's extremely dangerous to drive anywhere right now, let alone all the way to the hospital, and risk getting myself hurt, too."

"That's true."

"My parents would probably kill me, not to mention—" I stopped short. "What are you doing?"

In the midst of my rambling, Naomi had gotten up from the bed, and was beginning to gather up her things. She raised an eyebrow as she stuck her arms through the sleeves of her coat.

"You're obviously going, so I'm going with you," she said simply. "I can't let you do it alone."

I was stunned into silence.

"Come on, we gotta go before it gets dark," she urged.

My eyes prickled with tears, an exhale of relief slipping out of me. "I love you," I said, fighting to keep my voice even.

"And you love Will," she remarked teasingly. "I can't believe you ever tried to pretend you didn't."

It really was a stupid idea.

Visibility had gone down to practically zero, and gusts of snow blasted the sides of my car as we crept down the street. The good thing about the storm was that very few people were foolish enough to be out right now, unless they'd gotten stuck somewhere on their way home, so the town felt empty. The bad thing was that no one should be out, Naomi and myself included.

My heart thundered against my ribcage, my hands gripping the steering wheel as tightly as possible, making my knuckles turn white. The road itself wasn't that bad, I just had to manage to not be blown off of it. Naomi was a bundle of anxious energy next to me. It was rare for me to see her as anything but cool, calm and collected, but clearly we were beyond that point now. Her knee was bouncing, her fingers tangling themselves together.

"You're doing great, babe," she said encouragingly, though she didn't look away from the street.

"Thanks," I breathed, trying to ignore the trembling in all of my extremities.

The thought of Will at the hospital alone made my stomach twist. I knew Duncan was there, but any family he had was across the world, even the ones he hated. I wanted to be there for him. But there was a tiny voice in the back of my mind that ridiculed me, told me that he probably didn't even want me there. That he'd had time to think over everything I'd told him, and he'd decided to cut me out of his life, officially.

And I was about to show up to the hospital in the middle of a snowstorm like an idiot.

"This is reckless," I blurted, bringing the car to a stop.

"No shit. I thought we'd established that already."

I turned to look at her, sure that trepidation was written all over my face. "What if he doesn't want to see me?"

"Are you serious?" she cried, laughter in her voice. "He told you he loved you, like, three fucking days ago. Come on."

"I know, but—"

"Drive, Viv," she cut me off gently. "Go back home or go to the hospital. Either way, you've gotta drive."

I inhaled deeply, steeling myself, before resuming our journey. I was determined to show him my support, despite knowing there was a risk of him turning me away. A year ago, I'd chosen to let him go. Now, I was going to choose him, as long as he let me.

It was a treacherous ride to the hospital, but eventually, we reached the parking lot. I managed to find a space that wasn't totally snowed in, and after parking the car, we hurried toward the entrance, huddling together and trying to shield ourselves from the onslaught of snow.

Entering the hospital was disorienting. I hadn't been here in so long. Subconsciously, I felt my hand go to my stomach, as if to soothe phantom pain. I swallowed, forcing myself to stay in the present. Beside me, Naomi grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze, before tugging me in the direction of reception.

"We're looking for Will Tucker," she said, skipping the pleasantries. "He was admitted earlier today."

The receptionist looked between us dubiously.

I stepped forward. "We're his family."

She opened her mouth to speak, before we heard a familiar voice further down the hallway.

"Vivienne? Naomi?"

Duncan stood at the edge of the waiting room, looking shell-shocked, but otherwise fine, save for a few scratches on his face. We quickly approached him, leaving the receptionist behind, and he enveloped us in a tight hug. "What the hell are you doing here? Have you both lost your minds?"

"Maybe a little," I said, breathlessly.

"Viv," he chastised. "I didn't tell you about it so you would drive all the way out here. That was so dangerous. I just—"

"Hey, we made it here in one piece," Naomi interrupted. "And I felt totally safe the whole time."

Our eyes met.

"Most of the time," she corrected quickly. "Anyway, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he assured us. "Come on, Will is this way."

After checking that it was okay with the receptionist, Duncan led us down the hallway, our footsteps echoing off the linoleum. I felt like my heart was in my throat, both from the anticipation of seeing Will, and wondering whether or not he was truly okay. Somehow, my hand found Naomi's again without even really processing what I was doing, but it felt like she was my anchor, keeping me from spiraling out of control.

Finally, we stopped outside of a room with the door ajar. "He's in here," Duncan said. "He really is okay. I'm sorry if I made you panic, Viv."

"It's alright," I said. "I just wanted to see him for myself."

He nodded, making to walk into the room before Naomi grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Ow! What the hell?" he protested. She gave him a pointed look, jutting her chin in my direction. His dark eyes flickered to me, realization dawning on his face. "Oh."

Naomi let go of my hand in order to embrace me tightly. "Come find us when you're ready," she whispered. She planted a kiss on my cheek, before releasing me and guiding Duncan down the hall.

I lingered outside of the door, until their footsteps faded away, fidgeting with my fingers and feeling light-headed. After closing my eyes and hauling in a deep breath, I gave the door a timid knock, before pushing it open slowly.

Will was sitting upright on an examination bed, his lips parting in shock at the sight of me. For a moment we just stared at each other, as if neither of us could believe the other was real. His usual artful tousle was naturally mussed, a large bandage on his forehead, almost touching his eyebrow. There was a cut across his nose, and a bruise on his cheekbone. But he was okay.

I sighed in relief, a lump forming in my throat.

"Vivienne," he breathed into the silence.

"Hi," I said, stepping further into the room.

He shook his head, blinking. "Am I hallucinating? What are you doing here?"

"Duncan called and told me what happened," I explained, my voice hushed. The room was so quiet. I had a flickering sense of deja vu to a day many moons ago, when I'd patched up his wounds in the science lab at St. Mary's, and he'd kissed me for the first time. "I wanted to see you and make sure you were okay. Are you?"

"Just a little bump on the head," he teased sheepishly, pointing to his bandage. "But I'll be fine." He paused, brow furrowing. "Coming here was incredibly dangerous, Viv."

"I know."

He held my stare for another few beats, and it felt like so much was floating between us, unsaid, as if our entire conversation on the beach was replaying through both of our minds. He was wearing the unreadable mask I'd grown used to over the last few months, and I was scared to move any closer, scared he might send me away. I swallowed nervously.

Then his expression melted into relief, his eyes welling and his eyebrows tipping upward. "You're the only person I wanted to walk through that door," he admitted, his voice thick.