NOVEMBER 5, 2016 - 1 YEAR AFTER

"VIVI, RING UP that customer, would you?"

I nodded at Dad, wiping my hands on my apron and walking quickly to the counter, smiling at the woman waiting by the till. After carefully wrapping her premade bouquet of flowers and taking her cash, I sent the woman on her way, and the bell jingled overhead as she left.

Perching on the stool behind the counter, I watched Dad continue to chat with Jing Yang, the owner of the Chinese restaurant across the street. I always enjoyed listening to them talk. Dad claimed he was too old to have a best friend, but I was pretty certain Jing was his. It was rare for a day to go by without Dad retelling a joke he'd heard from Jing, or commenting on how busy the restaurant had been.

I smiled absently, tucking a curl behind my ear and basking in the rays of sunlight from the large windows. It was a beautiful autumn morning, and the flower shop was a lovely place to spend it, working on an assignment whenever we reached a lull between customers. The store had cleared out again, so I pulled my sketchbook out of the drawer and settled it on my lap, beginning to sketch out thumbnails of potential magazine covers.

Jing tutted, catching my attention. "Always working so hard," he said, strolling closer to me.

"I have to make the most of my weekends," I explained. "It's the best time to get a head start on upcoming projects."

He waved a hand dismissively. "You're young, you should go out and enjoy yourself."

"I've been telling her that her whole life," Dad chimed in, ignoring my pointed look in his direction. "It doesn't seem to stick."

Jing chuckled. "Stop by the restaurant for dinner sometime. Bring a friend with you. It's been so long."

"I will," I said, smiling again. But I didn't miss the way his voice faltered when he said a friend. He'd almost said your boyfriend.

Dad clapped a hand on my shoulder, oblivious. "On that note, you're free to leave any time you'd like, sweetheart. I can manage here on my own."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Of course not. I just want you to take Jing's advice. And I'll be closing in a couple of hours anyway, so we have enough time to drive up to Walden."

I closed my sketchbook with a sigh. I wanted to protest, to tell him I liked spending time here, in his company, that I didn't feel good at being alone anymore, but I didn't want to make him feel bad.

"If you insist," I conceded.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"I'm sure. I have a lot of work to do this weekend, and I won't get anything done if I'm there."

I definitely wasn't looking forward to staying in an empty house while the rest of my family went to visit my aunt for a few days, but even more so, I didn't want to spend a weekend pretending that everything was fine when in reality, it was far from it. I might have learned to pull myself together in the last few weeks, but that didn't mean I wasn't practically bursting at the seams. Spending several days with my family uninterrupted by school would put me under a microscope. They would figure me out in no time.

Even though we only had class together on one day, every spot on campus, every song I listened to, everything was Will, despite the fact that he didn't cast so much as a glance in my direction anymore. It felt like I had stopped existing to him. But I couldn't complain, because it was exactly what I'd asked for.

The sound of a new customer entering the shop mercifully pulled me out of my own head, and Ravi strolled through the doorway, smiling brightly.

I immediately stood from the stool, caught off guard. "Ravi," I greeted.

"Abbott," he returned, waltzing up the counter and leaning against it, eyes riveted to me beneath his baseball cap. "How goes it?"

My attention flickered to Dad and Jing, who were both watching Ravi with awed curiosity. I didn't blame them. The boy was too handsome for his own good, always perfectly put together, as if he had been styled that way by a team of professionals. My cheeks flushed, certain they would get the wrong idea.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to steal you away."

"Ravi," I hissed, giving him a look.

"What?" He blinked innocently.

"Hello there," Dad broke in, his voice cautiously excited, though he was clearly trying to downplay it. He stepped forward, extending a hand toward Ravi, who shook it with another bright smile. "I'm Vivienne's dad."

"Pleasure to meet you, sir."

"This is Ravi," I explained hurriedly, "Naomi's brother."

"Is that all?" Ravi asked. "I thought you would at least introduce me as your friend."

I gave him another pointed stare which was met with another head tilt of confusion on his part. Jing chuckled again, gaze sparkling between the two of us, and I resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands. I was sure my entire family would think I had a new boyfriend by the time I got home. If only Ravi didn't have to be so goddamned unintentionally charming.

"Anyway, are you busy right now?" he asked, moving past the awkwardness.

"Yeah, I'm—"

"I was just telling her she's done for the day," Dad finished for me, throwing an arm around my shoulders and smiling broadly. "She's all yours."

"Perfect," Ravi remarked.

Biting the inside of my lip, I reluctantly undid my apron strings, passing it off to Dad. Seeing as I had no choice in the matter, I gathered up all of my things, shoving them into my tote bag, then sliding it over my shoulder. When I rounded the counter, Ravi knocked my shoulder with his fist amicably, nudging a tiny smile out of me.

"Have fun, sweetheart," Dad called as we made our way toward the door, and I waved goodbye.

We stepped onto the sidewalk and into the sunlight. I peered up at Ravi, lifting a hand to shield my eyes from the bright light. "What now?" I asked.

He pulled his ball cap from his head, before placing it on mine, causing me to flinch. "Better?"

My cheeks immediately warmed again, and I took a glance over my shoulder to find that Dad and Jing were, indeed, still watching us. "Thanks," I mumbled. "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Embarrassed to be seen with me?" he teased, though he started down the sidewalk anyway, and I fell into step beside him.

"Not exactly," I said. "Anyway, what made you show up here out of the blue?"

He shrugged. "You said you'd be here today, and I wanted to hang out."

"Why?"

Ravi grinned. "Why are you so suspicious? I thought I'd made it clear by now that I enjoy your company, Vivienne."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Okay, fine. There's also the fact that Naomi is so preoccupied with that new girl she's seeing that I've been really fucking bored lately."

"Ah, there it is." I smiled.

"But that's a minor detail, I swear," he persisted, shoving his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, bumping my elbow with his. "You're my friend. I like to hang out with my friends."

"Whatever you say."

He laughed, low and deep, as we continued to saunter down the sidewalk with seemingly no destination in mind. I'd been seeing a lot more of him recently, since that afternoon at the lighthouse, and I wasn't entirely sure what to think. There was no doubt he was an exceedingly lovely person; he knew all of my secrets, my torrid history, but he didn't look at me any differently. Things felt easy with him. Sometimes I wondered what a relationship with him would feel like. If it would still feel like this—warm, comfortable, easy.

But he was Naomi's brother. And I had no clue if I had any romantic feelings toward him, or if had any toward me. Surely if he did, he would've acted on them by now. Then again, he knew better than anyone that I was far from getting over Will. Honestly, I didn't know if I ever would.

"What are you thinking about?" Ravi interrupted my stream of consciousness, the way he tended to do. I always appreciated it.

"How much I need to get done before Monday," I lied.

Ravi tilted his head back, groaning. "God, it's always homework and assignments with you. There's more to life than school, Viv."

"I know that," I said indignantly.

"Okay, then come to a party with me tonight."

"What?"

"You've looked miserable for weeks. I want to see you let go and have some fun," he explained, mirth glittering in his eyes.

I crossed my arms over my torso, shaking my head. "I don't think so."

"Come on, please? For me?" he begged. "I'll be with you the whole time. And if you hate it, we'll ditch. We can come up with a code word."

"Ravi," I protested.

"No, it has to be something better. How about. . ." he trailed off, looking about the street, eyes landing on Dad's flower market again, ". . .philodendron?"

A laugh bubbled up from my throat. "You're ridiculous. How would I naturally work that into a conversation?"

He raised the pitch of his voice in an attempt to impersonate me. "My favorite house plant is a philodendron, what's yours, Ravi?"

My laugh grew louder in spite of myself. "Wow, I can't believe how natural that was."

"What do you say? Are you coming with me?" He was beaming impishly, head inclined toward me. It was nearly impossible to say no.

So I said yes.

Hours later, I followed Ravi through the front door of Elliot Clark's house, despite the fact that a house party was the last place I wanted to be. I didn't know Elliot, and apparently Ravi didn't really either, but that didn't matter. Ravi was good at talking to strangers and making friends. The way he waltzed into the house looked like a homecoming, and heads turned in his direction, captivated by his effortlessly cool aura and achingly handsome face.

I trailed behind him like a shadow, unnoticed, not wanting to stray too far away. The living room was filled with people, both ones I recognized, and ones I didn't. The girl I sat next to in Photoshop class spotted me at the same time I spotted her, and we shared a brief moment of acknowledgment. I still hadn't learned her name; I was too busy counting down the seconds until I could leave the computer lab to think about much else.

"Do you want something to drink?" Ravi asked.

"Uh," I trailed off, fidgeting with my fingers. A drink would most likely help me loosen up, but I didn't drink very often. I knew Ravi wouldn't judge me either way.

Movement across the room caught my eye—Duncan, shotgunning a beer while his soccer buddies egged him on. My stomach twisted with an immediate sense of dread. If Duncan was here, that meant his best friend was undoubtedly here too.

Trepidation worked its way into my pulse as I nervously scanned the room, and sure enough, I found him instantly. He was standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, expression impassive, absentmindedly running his thumb along the rim of his red Solo cup. We locked eyes and it felt like a hand wrapped around my throat, a sickly sense of deja vu flooding my senses.

I half expected Sabrina to saunter over and kiss him, like she had back in August. It was too much. Will's eyebrows drew together, and I turned back toward Ravi, dizzy.

"Vivienne?" he said, and I realized he'd already said it once. He was watching me carefully, eyes darting all over my face. "Everything okay?"

"I do want something to drink," I blurted, heart hammering. "Something strong."

Ravi was perceptive enough to realize what had me so rattled; I could tell he spotted Will with ease. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath, before brightening. He swung an arm around my shoulder with a grin, causing me to flinch. "All right, then. To the kitchen we go."

Without waiting for my response, he tugged me along with him, and I tried not to trip over my own feet.

It didn't take long for me to feel it, I was too much of a lightweight.

I'd rarely been anything beyond tipsy, so the foggy feeling that had taken over my brain felt foreign, but I liked it. My face hurt from laughing with Ravi, though I couldn't even seem to remember what was so funny in the first place. I could tell my cheeks were flushed, and my phone kept slipping from my grasp and clattering to the floor, causing a laugh to bubble from my lips every time.

Ravi was tethered to me. Before we'd come, I was worried he might get bored and find someone more interesting to hang out with, but it was like we were glued together. If his fingers weren't intertwined with mine, then his arm was around my shoulder, or his hand was on the small of my back. I didn't know what this meant, but I was too drunk to think much more about it than realizing it made me feel nice. To be remembered. To be cared for. To feel wanted, even if it was platonically.

He clasped my hands with his, leading me back into the living room. "Dance with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I protested. "I don't really—"

"Dance?" he finished for me, raising a dubious eyebrow. "Who are you, Corbin Bleu in High School Musical 2? Get over here, Abbott."

I laughed warmly at how much he sounded like his sister. He took it as my agreement, pulling me further into the room where other people were dancing too. Ravi beamed as he spun me around, and I tried not to fall, holding onto his hands for dear life.

"See, this is what I wanted," he exclaimed over the thrum of the music. "To see you let go."

I stared at the disco ball Elliot must have strung from the ceiling, watching the way the light reflected around the room, casting little beams of light whichever way it turned. It probably would've been less mesmerizing if I was sober, but at that moment, it felt like the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I felt warm, and lighter than I had in weeks. Happy. Invincible. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt like this, and I wanted to feel it more.

And then the song finished, I saw Will again, and everything came crashing down around me.

He was watching Ravi and me, steady in a sea of moving bodies, lips pulled into a thin line, a hard edge of sadness in his sea blue eyes. Ravi noticed too, arms tugging me closer as a new song came on, and it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the living room. I clung to him helplessly, trying to keep myself upright, not knowing what else to do. Will watched the exchange, running a hand through his hair, then abruptly turning away and pushing through the crowd, disappearing.

It was the most he'd looked at me in weeks.

And he'd looked nothing short of devastated.

I exhaled, tears pricking my eyes. It wasn't fair. He had Sabrina. He wasn't supposed to care if I was with someone else, regardless of the fact that I wasn't actually even dating Ravi. And then I was mad at myself, because more than I hated the possibility of him being jealous or otherwise, I hated the thought of hurting him again at all. I'd already done it so many times. When was it going to stop? That was all I wanted—for everything to just stop.

"Viv?" Ravi asked, bringing my attention back to him. His hands were on my shoulders, trying to capture my attention.

"Philodendron," I breathed, doing my best to stop the tears from falling.

His expression changed, and he nodded somberly. "Of course. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I just want to go."

The ride home was sobering. We'd taken a cab because while Ravi held his alcohol a lot better than I did, he still wasn't fit to drive. I'd stared out the window, vision blurred, feeling like if I tried to speak, I would cry instead. So I kept silent, and Ravi did, too. The cab stopped at the Mizrahi house first, and Ravi had apologized to me again, his voice low. Nothing was his fault. But I couldn't find any words, and my throat was too thick, so instead, I'd reached across the backseat of the cab to squeeze his hand, giving him a watery smile.

Now, at home, the silence of my empty house was suffocating. I didn't want to be alone. But I felt like I needed to be.

It was half past midnight and I was making zero attempts to sleep. I sat on the couch, Murphy cuddled up in my lap, watching 10 Things I Hate About You without really paying attention. I couldn't get Will's expression out of my mind, no matter how much I wanted to.

I liked being home alone during the day, but at night, houses made noises. They creaked, and popped, and groaned, and made you feel like maybe you weren't alone after all. Reaching for the remote, I turned the volume up a little louder, both to mask the sounds, and Murphy's snoring.

Suddenly, he perked up, alert, scrambling to his feet, and my heart kicked into gear.

"What is it?" I asked.

But then I heard what he did, a noise that wasn't coming from the house.

I tensed, pausing the movie, waiting, as my pulse thudded in my ears. I heard the sound of something falling. Murphy barked once. Another sound came shortly after, a potted plant outside crashing to the ground and breaking. Murphy and I were on our feet at the same time. He was amped up, his barks coming out in quick succession.

With shaking fingers, I grabbed my cell phone, dialing nine-one-one, then hesitating. The motion light had flickered on outside, and through the sheer curtain on the window, I could make out what looked like a familiar silhouette. I set down the phone, picking up Murphy instead, and creeping toward the door.

Swallowing, I placed my hand on the cool doorknob, twisting, and tugging the door open.

Murphy fell silent.