APRIL 2, 2015 - 4 MONTHS BEFORE

"YOU'RE GOING TO be late for class."

My words were muffled, spoken against Will's mouth as he tightened his arms around me. Animal Collective floated from his Bluetooth speaker, and the window was cracked open a touch, just enough to let the cool, early spring breeze drift into the room. Goosebumps rose on my arms, and Will's fingertips skated across them as if he was trying to chase them away.

"I don't care," he replied simply, keeping our lips fused together.

I indulged him a little longer, before placing my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back gently. "I do. You already skipped this morning."

"I'd rather hang out with you. Besides, there's only a week of classes left," he persisted. "It doesn't even matter at this point."

I trailed my finger down his cheek, admiring the feel of its curve on my skin. "Exactly. In a week, we can hang out as much as we want."

"Right, until you fly across the world in August."

A pang of homesickness pressed against my chest, even though I still had months to go before I left. "Don't talk about that yet," I murmured. "Just pretend I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes darted over every inch of my face. "You know I can't do that. I want to see you as much as possible before you go."

He leaned in to kiss me again, until the door swung open abruptly, causing us both to flinch. Duncan stood in the doorway, groaning as Will sat up, backing away from me, and my cheeks grew hot. Will's dorm room wasn't the most private. It was small, and cramped, and the mattress on his twin bed was thoroughly uncomfortable. I was looking forward to next year, after I came back from Japan. His dad would finally be going back to Australia, and had agreed to Will moving back into their house while he was away.

And then there were the possibilities that came with Will graduating. We'd toyed with the idea of moving in together, but it still felt like a distant dream, a couple of years to go.

Until then. . .

"That's the second time this week," Duncan grumbled. "Get a room, Tuck. A different one, one that you don't share with me. Or put a sock on the doorknob. Come on, dude. You know better."

Will grinned sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. "Apologies, Dunco."

I adjusted the shoulder of my cardigan, willing the heat to leave my face. "Hi, Duncan."

"Lovely to see you as always, Vivienne."

"I think this is the cue for me to leave, and you to go to class, Will."

His shoulders slumped in defeat. "If you insist. Walk you to the parking lot?"

I rose to my feet, then paused to steady myself when I began to feel light-headed. Will touched my arm, mouth dipping into a frown. "You good?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, fine," I assured him. "I just stood up too fast."

He intertwined our fingers, guiding me toward the door, and clapping Duncan on the back on his way out. Duncan had already settled into his desk chair, sliding his headphones over top of his head and effectively dismissing us, clearly irritated.

"Bye, Duncan," I called over my shoulder.

"Catch you later, Viv."

A couple of Will's teammates called out greetings as we walked through Gladwell. I'd become very familiar with these hallways over the past few years. It was no surprise that Will had transitioned to university life with ease; he had always moved through the world as though he knew everything it had to offer him. Having his two best friends attend the same school definitely gave him an advantage, but even if they hadn't, I was confident he would've flourished regardless.

As we stepped out of the dorm and into the April sunshine, Will squeezed my hand a little tighter. One thing that hadn't changed during the course of our three years together was how much Will hated saying goodbye. It didn't matter if we would be apart for one day or three weeks, he always delayed it as long as possible.

"Are you going to stop by after work?" he asked as we neared the parking lot, our footsteps slowing.

"Mm," I hummed. "I might call in, actually. I'm feeling pretty tired." As if to prove my point, a yawn threatened to emerge, and I fought it off, my eyelids drooping as I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder.

Will's eyebrows furrowed. "You've been tired a lot lately. Is everything okay?"

"Maybe I'm coming down with something. Or maybe I just need more sleep."

We reached the end of the sidewalk and he stopped walking, unimpressed. He turned to face me, brushing some of my hair out of my face. "Maybe you should see a doctor."

"Will," I chastised fondly. "You're overreacting. I'm probably just low on iron."

He remained unconvinced, lips pursed in disapproval. "All the more reason to see the doctor."

I poked his shoulder gently. "Stop worrying."

At that, his mouth hitched into a half smile. "Stop giving me things to worry about, then."

Standing on my tiptoes, I pecked him on the cheek. "Goodbye," I said. "I love you. Now be good, and go to class."

He tapped my nose once. "Call me."

Giving him one last wave, I made the trek across the parking lot to my car. Will waited until I turned the key in the ignition to walk away. I sighed, lingering in the parking lot with my hands on the steering wheel. For a brief moment, I let myself daydream, imagining what it might be like if we didn't have to say goodbye, if I decided to attend CVU, and we could roam campus together every day.

But it was a useless daydream. Will was right, I would be leaving for Japan in the summer for a lengthy photography internship. I couldn't deny that I was afraid of what it might do to our relationship. Everything that made up Will and I had been built in the confines of our tiny, coastal town, and I didn't know what would happen once I left it behind. Dad always liked to joke that our fingertips were tied together; it was rare to find one of us without the other.

Clearing my throat, I straightened out, blinking back the moisture that was forming behind my eyelids and chastising myself. There were still months to go. It was too early to dwell on our inevitable goodbye.

After pulling into the driveway, I shut my car off, leaning back against the seat and closing my eyes for a brief moment. I hadn't been lying before—I truly was tired. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time exhaustion hadn't weighed heavily on my bones. Clearly I wasn't getting enough sleep. My body was telling me it needed to rest, and I decided to listen to it.

I extracted my cell phone from my pocket, firing off a text to my manager at the photo studio, explaining that I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be making it in today. There was a familiar tug of guilt in my chest, the one that always made an appearance on the rare occasions that I called in sick, and I tried to shove it away. It was okay to put myself first sometimes.

Despite the fact that my bed suddenly felt a million miles away, I used my last bit of energy to exit my car and head into the house. I was instantly greeted by Murphy's joyous barks, and warm voices drifting from the kitchen.

"Hello?" I called, kicking off my shoes and tightening my ponytail.

"In here!" Mom replied.

I followed her voice into the kitchen where she was seated at the table with Claire, who's face lit up in a bright smile as I entered the room.

"Claire," I greeted her, not bothering to hide my surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Her grin turned into a smirk. "Just trying to catch you during the brief window that you're not either spending every second with Will, or working. I haven't seen you in ages."

Warmth rushed to my face once again, and I ducked my head in embarrassment. "Am I really that bad?" Maybe we were becoming a little too codependent.

"I'm just teasing." She stood up, handing me a muffin. "I missed you, though. And I brought treats."

I accepted it with a smile, though I didn't have much of an appetite at the moment. "Thanks, Claire Bear. I missed you, too."

"What time does your shift start?"

"I'm staying home today," I explained, eyes flickering in Mom's direction for a millisecond. "I'm feeling pretty low on energy, so I thought I'd just lay down for a while."

Mom stepped closer, eyebrows furrowing in concern, pressing the back of her hand to my forehead. "No fever. Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

I brushed her hand away gently. "Because it's nothing. I'm sure I'll be back to normal after a nap."

"Should I go?" Claire asked with a frown.

Shaking my head, I reached out, my fingers encircling her wrist. "No, stay for a while. Talk to me until I fall asleep. Your voice is good for white noise."

She scoffed, feigning outrage and pulling out of my grasp. "You know, everyone thinks you're so sweet and demure, but they don't know you like I do."

I laughed, rolling my eyes and leading her into my bedroom. She flopped down on my comforter as I changed into a sweatshirt and leggings. My phone vibrated from its place next to her on the bed, and she snatched it before I could even move.

"Hey!" I scolded, reaching for it.

"Oh, a text from Will, who would've thought?" she teased, tossing it to me and ignoring my glare.

"We've been dating for three years Claire, what do you want from me?" I muttered, unlocking my phone and reading the message.

Did you get home alright? Please tell me you called in.

Smiling, I wrote back, Don't worry. I'm not going to work. I'm going to take a huge nap instead.

That's my girl. Make sure to dream about me.

I always do, I replied.

Claire made a gagging noise, causing me to look up from my phone. I reached for a pillow, tossing it at her good-naturedly and narrowing my eyes.

"You don't even know what we're saying!" I protested.

"I don't have to," she laughed, dodging it easily. "I thought you were low on energy."

With a sigh, I fell onto the bed next to her. As soon as I was lying down, the weight of my eyelids increased, and I fought to keep them open. "I am," I murmured.

She made a show of cooing, pulling the blanket over top of me as I curled up on my side. Seconds later, she deposited Murphy on top of the comforter, and he waddled closer to me, licking my face, making me crinkle my nose.

"Poor little Viv," she remarked. "Too tired to go to work, but not tired enough to stop bullying her favorite cousin."

My lips curved upward in a sleepy smile. "I'll always have energy for that."

Beneath my palm, my phone buzzed again, and I opened my eyes all the way, reading another message from Will.

Sleep well. I love you.

Warmth blossomed in my chest as Claire cuddled up next to me, reading over my shoulder. "So, when is he going to pop the question?"

Laughing gently, I set the phone on my night stand. "Not for a long, long time."

"But someday?"

My stomach fluttered. "Maybe."

Whenever I imagined my future with Will—or my future in general—it only stretched out to a few years from now. I didn't like thinking about anything beyond that. There was so much in life that was out of anyone's control, no way of predicting what might happen. I wanted to believe my future would always include him, but hope tended to breed disappointment. My extended stay in Tokyo was bound to put everything to the test. But maybe if we survived that, we'd be able to survive anything.

"I volunteer to be a bridesmaid."

"Sure, Claire." I yawned, letting my eyes fall closed.

"Hey, it might be sooner than you think," she said. "Who knows, maybe you're feeling sick because you're pregnant."

I snorted softly. "Don't even joke about that."

She laughed again, scooting away from me. "Anyway, I'll leave now and let you get some rest."

Claire squeezed my hand, vacating the room after bidding me goodbye. I missed her warmth immediately, but soon it didn't matter as the waves of exhaustion lapped against me, pulling me closer to sleep. I had nearly given in and let it swallow me whole when my eyes snapped open again.

I pushed myself into a sitting position quickly, reaching for my phone, and Murphy sniffed at me curiously. Claire's words rang in my head as I scrolled through my phone with shaking fingers, locating the app I used to track my monthly cycle. I opened it, then exhaled, stomach clenching tightly after it finished loading. Immediately, my vision swam, dread seizing my chest.

I was late.

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hello! belated happy 2022! i hope you're all having a good january so far. i would really love to finish writing this story this year, so keep your fingers crossed i can achieve that goal.

thank you so much for reading, and as always, don't forget to vote, and leave a comment if you enjoyed :-)

thank you for sticking around ミ☆