THE DOOR SWUNG open, allowing a gust of air into the room.

"Is everything okay in here?" An employee stood in the open doorway, shoulders tensed, hand still gripping the doorknob as he watched us with a pensive expression.

His eyes automatically jumped to me as Naomi and Sabrina ushered me to my feet, gripping onto my arms and pulling me upward. My chest was rising and falling with rapid breaths, made worse by my racing thoughts, desperately wondering what was going through Sabrina's mind. Her expression showed nothing but concern for my well-being, and I was awed by how she was able to focus on the task at hand, ignoring the fact that she'd just found out about her boyfriend's secret long-term relationship.

"My friend is claustrophobic," she explained. "She just needs to get out."

Will hovered behind us, his hands faltering, as though he wanted to help, but thought his actions might be misinterpreted now that the truth was out. He swallowed visibly, the crease between his eyebrows dominant.

"You guys stay," I managed raggedly, gently pulling away from the two that were holding me. "I'll wait outside."

Naomi's face contorted. "Viv, we're not going to leave you by yourself," she protested angrily.

"Someone should go with you," Will echoed quietly, though he kept his gaze riveted to the floor, hesitation throughout his posture.

I opened my mouth to insist once more that I would be fine on my own, but Sabrina spoke up, silencing me. "I'll go," she said firmly.

Before anyone could contest her words, she placed a hand on my back, guiding me toward the door, and left the others to discuss how to proceed with the game. I was silent as we walked through the hallway at a steady pace, and I felt the speed of my footsteps shakily increasing the closer we got to the exit.

My hands were outstretched to push the door open before we even reached it, the cool glass making contact with my fingers for a brief moment, and then we were outside, the freshness of the night air hitting me sharply. I hauled it into my lungs as quickly as I could, my eyes closing as I slowly sunk into a crouch, leaning against the outer wall of the building.

Sabrina wordlessly took a seat next to me on the walkway as I began to regulate my breathing. I folded my arms over my knees, resting my head on top of them, and breathed in deeply, my shoulders relaxing.

"Are you alright? Should I call someone?" she asked worriedly, after a pause.

"No, no," I replied quickly, lifting my head and opening my eyes. "I'm feeling a lot better. I really didn't think I would have such a strong reaction. I thought I could be brave. But I've proven that I'm not."

Once the novelty of having fresh oxygen began to wear off, embarrassment steadily seeped into my chest. I couldn't believe everyone had just witnessed me having a full-blown panic attack. The moment Duncan had said the words escape room, I'd known I most likely wouldn't enjoy it, but I didn't think my anxiety would spiral out of control only a few minutes in.

I peeked at Sabrina out of the corner of my eye, watching as she stared across the parking lot distantly, chewing on her bottom lip with her eyebrows furrowed. The guilty pit in my stomach returned. It was the absolute worst way for her to find out about everything.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I brought a hand up to my forehead, rubbing it absentmindedly. "I'm sorry," I murmured, breaking the weighted silence. "About Will."

"Vivienne," she began, and I opened one eye, analyzing her expression. Her eyes looked forlorn, her lips curved upward in a rueful smile. "You don't have to apologize for dating someone."

"But it wasn't fair for you to find out that way," I continued quietly.

Sabrina let out a short, gentle laugh. "Yeah," she agreed. "That wasn't great."

My feelings of guilt swelled, my arms tightening around my knees. "I'm sorry," I apologized again, "I should've said something right away."

"No," she remarked, shaking her head with a sigh as her gaze swept over the parking lot once more. "That's on Will. I just don't understand why he didn't say anything. Clearly I'm the only one who didn't know."

"The rest of us have known each other since high school," I explained softly. "Don't feel bad about that."

My words seemed to do little to ease her worries, and she fidgeted with her fingers restlessly. I didn't blame her, I would most likely be feeling the exact same way if the roles were reversed. Nausea was rolling around in my gut, and I felt a conflicting battle of emotions taking place within. There was no part of me that wanted to be the downfall of the relationship Will and Sabrina had been building, I truly wanted happiness for the both of them.

But deep inside, there was still the ugly, selfish part of me that dreamed of a future where I wouldn't have to watch them fall in love. However, in that future, the only remedy I'd come up with was me vanishing across the world once more.

"Could you. . . could you tell me more about it?" Sabrina asked timidly.

It.

The idea that everything that made Will and I could be summed up in one small word felt strange, especially when it felt so all-consuming to me. I swallowed again, as a kaleidoscope of moments came to life in my brain, twisting into different shapes and patterns until it collapsed, shattering into tiny, little pieces.

My relationship with Will had always been just that—mine. It was something I'd always held close to my chest, even while it was ongoing. Obviously, everyone had known we were together, but I wasn't quick to vocalize my feelings to most people. And when we'd come to our devastating end, I was even more closed off. It was personal, it was horrible, it had pushed me to my breaking point. It was my secret, and mine alone.

I wasn't ready to share it with anyone, much less the current object of his affection.

But I supposed she at least deserved the summarized version.

"Well," I began, with a trembling sigh, changing positions so I was cross-legged, toying with the hem of my sweater. "We started seeing each other in our senior year of high school. As Duncan so eloquently put it, we were together for roughly three years. Then. . ."

Sabrina watched with me rapt interest, her brown eyes intent on my face, as I made a snap decision on how much of the story I should reveal.

The bare minimum would be best.

"I broke up with him," I admitted, working determinedly against myself to keep any hint of emotion from my voice. The ever-familiar burn of tears pressed against my eyelids, and I bit the inside of my cheek. "It was brutal. And then I went to Japan for a photography internship, and we didn't speak for about a year. Which brings us to now."

She raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised. I could tell she wasn't satisfied, though she didn't press me for more details. "Wow, three years is no joke," she murmured. "I still don't understand why he didn't just tell me if it was so serious. It's not like I would've been mad. It's all in the past, right?"

I thought for a moment. I'd been puzzling over the same thing, wondering why he'd appeared to have taken the same route I did, keeping everything to himself, and refusing to talk about it with anyone.

"I think it might be because. . ." I started, voice wavering, "he still doesn't understand why. I kind of blindsided him."

The words caused a new onset of guilt, hunching my shoulders and pinching the space between my eyebrows. It was the most I'd said aloud about the break up in a very long time, and every sentence felt like a kick to the gut, as I relived the final moments before we catapulted to rock bottom. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Sabrina was quiet for a long time, considering everything I'd said. Then she laughed shortly without humor. "You know, it explains a lot," she confessed.

I gave her a confused look, tilting my head to the side.

She adjusted her position until she was mirroring mine, crossing her legs and folding her hands in her lap. "When I met him, he always seemed so withdrawn. I could tell he was going through something, I just didn't know what. It took a long time for him to feel comfortable around me, and even then, some of that distance is still there."

My frown deepened.

"You have the same energy," she remarked, peering at me out of the corner of her eye. "From the moment I met you, I knew something about you reminded me of him. Now I know what it is. You both wear your history on your sleeves."

I thought I'd done well to be guarded, to build up walls around me to keep everything contained. But apparently I was doing the opposite.

"I'm really sorry you had to find out this way," I reiterated, not sure what else to say. I paused, taking in her somber expression, and feeling the need to be kind, despite how much it hurt. "You guys seem really good together. I hope this doesn't change anything."

"Yeah," she said slowly, nodding. "Thanks. It's probably awkward for me to say, but I really like him. I want it to work."

I forced my lips to pull up in a tight smile. "I'm glad. He's a great guy."

"And just for the record, you're wrong," she told me. "You are brave."

"Thanks," I said half-heartedly.

Sabrina glanced at me, and the sympathy in her eyes made me look away. She placed a hand on my shoulder gently. "Are you feeling better? I'm thinking of heading home, but I won't if you're still not feeling well."

"I'm fine," I assured her sincerely. In terms of my health, it was true. But my eyes stung, and it was difficult to keep my voice steady. "Don't worry about me."

"Okay," she said, rising to her feet hesitantly, keeping an eye on me as she pulled her phone from her pocket. "I'm going to call a cab."

I stood up next to her, feeling a little stiff. "Do you want to wait for Will?" I asked, frowning and gesturing to the building behind us with my thumb.

"No," she said quickly, holding up a hand. She smiled sheepishly, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "I just. . . I need some time to process things. Alone."

"Right," I replied softly.

I was quiet as she called the taxi service, and waited with her until it showed up, both of us stewing in the silence. She climbed into the backseat after it slowed to a stop in front of us, leaving me with a smile and a wave, and for the briefest moment in time, it felt like things were normal.

But I had a strong feeling the second the door closed behind her, she broke.

The cool night air was my only comfort as I leaned against the wall, lost in my thoughts, wondering if I should've handled things differently. I'd said so little, but it felt like far too much. Sabrina's kindness in the midst of everything stunned me. I wanted her to feel angry. To despise me the way I still felt Will should've. It would make things so much cleaner.

We would've stayed out of each other's way, and I could've kept from irreversibly weaving myself into the fabric of their relationship.

The entrance to the building opened some time later, allowing the rest of my friends to exit.

Duncan and Naomi seemed to have recovered from the tense moment that caused us to head our separate ways, the two of them laughing about whatever escapades they'd gotten themselves into, but there was an air of melancholy surrounding Will as he stepped outside.

Once Naomi spotted me, she was quick to sober up, coming to stand next to me. "You poor thing," she remarked, placing a hand on my arm, her face clouding in concern. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I told her, though my eyes were on Will, as he scanned the empty parking lot, realizing his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen.

He pursed his lips together, before turning to me worriedly. "Where's Sabrina?"

I held his gaze for a moment, able to pick up on the hints of fear visible in his crystalline eyes. "She went home." I swallowed. "I'm sorry."

I watched as his shoulders fell marginally, his eyes falling to the pavement, though he was quick to nod. "That's alright," he said softly.

Duncan grimaced, before reaching out to clap a hand on his friend's back, causing him to flinch. "What do you say we get out of here?"

Will nodded again, though it seemed like he only half-heard the words, wrapped up in a daze.

As Duncan ushered him toward his car, I thought once more about what Sabrina had revealed to me about their relationship.

There was a distance between the two of them, and I understood now that I was the thing that filled it.

┅

the angst! the drama! are you feeling it now mr. krabs?

(and then it's ruined by me using a spongebob meme)

anyway! i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! i'm sure it left you with more questions than answers, and that's exactly how i like it B)

as always, tell me your thoughts! i crave validation ミ☆

p.s. updates are likely going to pause for a little bit as i'm moving houses this weekend and will need some time to settle in :-)