Books were piled up in front of me and I flipped through the old pages vigorously. I was facing a severe headache because since this morning I haven't moved my eyes from the pages.

The situation here is not good, Bondita is totally broken, no one is talking to each other properly. I have never seen my house turn into a gloomy atmosphere. These are all psychology book that I am going through.

Bondita is totally broken and has locked herself in the room, she is acting as if the world has come to an end but no it's not. She will have to move on, she needs to understand something that is gone is gone now we should welcome the new phase of our life. Even I feel like crying sometimes but if I cry who will look after my Bondita. I cannot fall weak.

I could see a distance growing between us with time. We vent out anger on each other, shout at each other, we use words like, "hate" for each other and the reason was the stress and the situation we both were going through. Her pain, her cries were visible but my cries remained unheard. How many times I had to hear the accused of killing my own child, I am the reason for her misery.

I am broken and shattered but I don't want others to see this or else who will give her support but everybody says that, "tujhe kya hain, tu to baap hain".

But for me, Bondita is my utmost priority. Bringing her back to normalcy is my aim. I washed my face to erase the marks of my bane and went to my room with a fake smile.

My tark karne wali, laraku, chulbuli Bondita is now an expressionless robot and I will bring her back by hook or by crook.

An idle mind is a devil's workshop. I decided to engage her in work, to send her to court. She should start her barristry once again because only work can keep her mind diverted from all these.

"Bondita" I cleared my throat, "ek naya case hain".

Bondita was sitting on the bed with her eyes fixed outside the window. She didn't reply back. "Aur is case mein , mein chahata hu ki sabse best Barrister mujhe assist kare aur tumse accha Barrister Babu koi hain kya bhala?"

My words had no impact on her but I still tried my best, "aur haa court se ghar aatein wakt hum kulfi bhi khayenge".

Usually whenever she hears kulfi, she starts to smack her lips but this time she didn't, instead she stood up and tried to leave the room. I stopped her by her wrist, "kya huya hain Bondita? Kyu kar rahi ho aisa?"

"Apke liye to sab kuch bohot asan hain na?" She let out a painful chuckle, "apko kya hain? Apne thori na usey apne mein pala tha, wo to mein thi. Aur apne to khud hi maar..."

"BONDITA!"

"Ap please jaiye yaha se, mujhe akele rehene dijiye" she joined her hands and broke down in front of me.

I shouldn't have shouted at her. I should understand that she is not in the right state that is why she is speaking all these. I pulled her and she clenched my shirt. Her tears made my shirt wet and she was shivering. I patted her back and caressed her hair but I no that was not helping at all.

"Bondita" his voice came out through his muffled cries, "please mere liye sab kuch bhul jao, bas ye ek chiz mein tumse mang raha hu".

She looked up at him when he rubbed her tears off, "mein koshish karungi, apke liye mein kuch bhi kar sakti hu".

That day the villagers arrived RC haveli to carry out some pre marriage rituals for Batuk.

Bondita decided to listen to her pati babu and move on. She tried hard to smile and forget everything. She engaged herself in the work of Batuk's aiburo bhat. (The last bachelor's meal. The relatives of bride n groom arrage a feast for them as the last meal as a bachelor).

Bondita had cooked everything on her own for her friend. Kaka looked at her and smiled. He was happy that his bahu was getting away from the pain and misery and finally trying to lead a normal life.

But will this evil society let that happen?

One woman whispered to the other, "dekho to Choti Malkin ko. Koi kehega unhe dekh kar inka baccha maar chuka hain. Itna khush koi maa apne bacche k maarne par kaise khush ho sakti hain".

"Aur dekho" interrupted the third woman, "banjh hokar bhi in shubh karya mein dakhal de rahi hain, unka bura saya is vivah mein parega".

Batuk sat on the floor while the cuisine was served in front of him and Bondita sat beside him to fan him "Tumne hi banaya hain na Bondita? Tumhare hath ki hi khani hain mujhe varna nehi".

Batuk and Bondita both chuckled together.

"Chote Zamindar vivah k baad bhi agar mere hath ki hi khane ki zid karoge to patni gussa nehi karegi?"

"Us chorni ko khana bana na ata bhi hain?" She whispered in her ear and both started to laugh when all of a sudden a woman shouted, "Hey Dugga maa! Zamindar sahb apne ek banjh k haton ka khana apne bete ko khila rahe hain".

The word "banjh" made all the Roy Chowdhury's smiles fade away.

The woman pulled Bondita up by her elbow, "ek banjh ko shubh karya mein nehi rehna chahiye".

Although kaka loves his bahu, he is an orthodox hindu and he also believes in all these yet he didn't say anything to Bondita to see her happy but on contrary when the woman pulled her, he remained quiet.

"Ye kya faltu baatein hain" Batuk protested, "mein yahi khana kahunga warna aj mera aiburo bhat nehi hoga".

Tears rolled down her pretty eyes and she silently picked up the plate of food, nehi Batuk sab sahi keh rahe hain mujhe ye sochna chahiye tha".

"Bondita tum ye..." Som tried to explain to her but she, in front of everyone disposed of the food in the trash bin that she had cooked with utmost love and dedication. Bondita remained awake still late at night and did all preparation for the feast. She listed down Batuk's favourite dishes, ordered Bihari to bring the best and most costly fish available in the market. (Fish is considered as very auspicious in Bengal). She had cooked everything without any help and took care of his likes and dislikes. It was heartbreaking to watch the food getting disposed of just because she cooked them. Batuk was about to say something but before he could, Bondita covered her mouth with her saree and ran upstairs. In the corridor, she bumped into Anirudh while running aimlessly.

"Bondita daur kyu rahi ho" he held her hand and tried to stop her that is when she noticed tears in her eyes but she pushed him away with all her might and locked herself in the room.

Anirudh heard Batuk Shout from downstairs. As much as he knows, Batuk is not like him, he is much calm and composed and this made him panic-stricken. He went downstairs hastily

as he didn't get a good feeling from all these.

"Ho kya raha hain yaha?"

"Dada dekhiye ye log kya bol rahe hain" saying this Batuk narrated everything to him and the first thing he said after hearing all these, "kaka ap chup the?"

"To chup kyu nehi honge," one man saud among the crowd, "abh koi banjh agar..." Before he could complete, Anirudh's rage reached its peak.

Anirudh held the man by his throat and pinned him to the wall with a great force. His eyes showered anger and rage more than pain

"Bondita naam hain uska...Bondita, agli baar uska naam tameez se lena".

People were horrified by his violent action. They have never seen their chote malik so wild and violent.

"Abh banjh ko banjh na bulaye kya?" A lady spoke out among the mob.

"Aur nehi to kya" another one added, "kya fayda itna par likh k, pati ko pita hone ka sukh nehi de sakti jo ladki wo banjh hi kehlayi gi".

"Mujhe nehi Chahiye koi pita ka sukh!" He shouted back. Although he was saying all these Kaka very well knew his son was lying. Kaka who raised him knows very well when he lies and when he does not. Anirudh's was saying that he doesn't care but his face was saying how badly he wanted to become a father. No matter how much he shouts and announces that he is happy with his wife, he is happy that she is fine, deep down he wanted the child too and it was unbearable for kaka to watch his son in so much pain.

"Batuk ke alawa yaha kisike pass zaban nehi hain kya?"

"Sach karwa hi hota hain Chote Malik" taunting this people left haveli.

No mattee how much Bondita tries to be happy, this society will never let her live peacefully just because she is cannot bear a child.

"Jab tak sab sahi nehi ho jata koi shadi wadi nehi hoga is ghar mein" Batuk declared it.

Som who was standing just beside Sampoorna all of a sudden noticed the chabi ka guccha hanging from her pallu and there was a small rusted key in along with other keys in the bunch.

Anirudh entered in almost devastated condition. His hair was shabby, eyes were red and swollen and tears left their marks on his cheeks. He walked slowly into his room like a puppet. He was tired of fighting the world for his wife and safeguarding her from the evil clutches of society. At a point he felt like giving up but this is nothing but another phase and for the first time he was fighting all alone, without her.

Bondita was swinging the cradle and singing a lullaby with a charming smile on her trying to sing her baby to sleep which is absolutely normal but the thing that was not normal was that there was no baby in the cradle only a small doll.

"Pati babu" she looked at him with a sweet smile, "dekho humara baccha sotey huye kitna pyara lagta hain"

"Bondita yaha koi nehi hain" he said bluntly which made her chuckle, "ap andhe ho gye ho kya, wo so raha hain" she said and pointed towards the empty cradle. "WAHA KOI NEHI HAIN BONDITA" he held her by her Shoulder and shouted at her which made her eyes moist, "ap jhoot bol rahe ho" he gave a slight push to him, "ap mere bacche se pyar nehi karte kya?"

He held her firmly and shook her, "koi nehi hain waha". "Ap jhoot bol rahe ho" she cried. Bondita moved her head vigorously in denial. It was becoming difficult for Anirudh to control her.

"ap burey pita aur burey pati ho!"

"BONDITA!!"

And then....

Bondita fell to the ground. She held her face and looked at him in horror, unable to believe what her pati babu did to her just now. He broke his promise.

He was unable to take all this stress and he did something that he never dreamt of doing.

He slapped her.

Anirudh slapped his Bondita, the girl who was already broken and shattered.

One thing was evident by this incident, this society's cheap thinking all these crises was allowing toxicity in their pure relationship.

Bondita was still on the floor, near the edge of the bed, holding her face. Anirudh stormed out of the room, leaving her in the room, alone and horrified.

Trilochan was tensed with whatever was happening in his house. He was there along with a few other Zammindar friends of his. They were talking among themselves but he was lost in his own thoughts regarding the incident that took place today.

"Kis soch mein dube ho Trilochan" Ganguly Babu said, placing his hand on his shoulder, "apne Bahu bete k baare mein soch rahe ho kya?"

"Kuch sahi nehi jaa raha, humari bahu dukhi hain, beta bhi dukhi hain aur wo chota beta abh us maharaj ko vivah hi nehi karna".

"Hum tumhe ek salha de, ek upay hain".

"Kya?"

"Apne bare bete ka firse vivah karwado".

"Kabhi nehi!" Kaka shouted and stood up, "hum apni Bondita bahu ki jagah kisiko nehi denge, wo beti hain humari".

"Trilochan abh faisla dil se nehi dimag se lo" said Ganguly Babu, "mana tum apne bete se pyar karte ho par apna beta apna Khoon hota hain, bhavnayo mein behekar bete ki zindagi barbad maat hone do".

"Sahi keh raha hain" said Ghosh babu, "mere khudke 4 patniya hain aur mein bohot khush hai, ghar pe 5 bete hain, chirag hain ghar k mere bete".Agar dusri patni se santan labh ho sakta hain to usme galat hi kya hain, soch k hummey batana"

This left Kaka in great dilemma.

Dad called me to his room and he seemed really tense.

"Dear" he started and his tone suggested that he is worried about something, "I will be sent to Germany to serve my nation".

"When dad?"

"I don't know but the thing is I want you to talk to Batuk"

"But why Batuk?" I questioned him.

"See I can't leave you here alone so U want you to get settled before I leave. This marriage has to take place before I leave or else..."

"Or else?'

"I fear You will have to accompany me and the time is uncertain. Talk to Batuk and tell him everything and also tell him that you want to marry him as soon as possible".

I went to meet him and talk about this matter. When I reached RC mansion, he was not in his room. Bihari kaka told me that he might be on the terrace.

It was dark and the stars were shinning along the bay but the terrace was empty. I looked here and there but saw no one except the sobs of someone.

I was shocked to see him sitting in a corner and sobbing.

"Batuk tum thik ho?" I went to him and as soon as I placed my hand on his shoulder, he wrapped his hand around my torso and started weeping.

"Kya huya hain? Tum ro kyu rahe ho" I panicked and patted his head to calm him down.

"Kuch sahi nehi ho raha" he said in broken voice and narrated to me the incident that happened today.

"Batuk yehi to life hain, ups and downs to ayenge hi"

"Maine ek faisla liya hain" he said all of a sudden, "par mujhe lagta hain ki shayad is faisle to lene ka hak tumhe utna hain jitna mujhe".

"Kaisa faisla?"

"Hum ye shadi baad mein karenge, jab sab thik ho jayega"

When he said that I started recalling everything that dad had said to me. I was on the edge of a knife and didn't know what to do. If not now then never is what dad said. I wanted to tell him that I don't agree and I want to marry as soon as possible but what came out of my mouth was, "mein har faisle mein tumhare sath hu"

"Thank you" he hugged me once again and started to cry. I patted his head and tried to console him.

"Tum kuch kehene ayi thi?"

"Nehi" I said and looked at the sky, if my decision makes him happy then this is it.

I was walking down the lane near the temple, lost in my own thoughts. I was fuming in anger and decided to never return back to Bondita. She is getting on my nerves and I give up, I can't deal with it anymore. No matter how hard I try, she will never get back to normalcy.

someone inturrupted my thought, "beta paani milega kya?"

An old man with his stick was asking me for water, "koi paani nehi de raha"

I looked here and there and fetched a pot of water from a nearby shop, "ye lijiye dadu".

"Bhagwan bhala kare" he blessed and instead of drinking water, he went away with the pot. I followed that man and what I saw melted my heart. He, who was thirsty himself was feeding the water to his old and blind wife.

"Arrey beta tum yaha" the man said when he spotted me gazing at them. "Sumitra," he looked at his wife, "ye wahi ladka hain jisne pani diya".

"Idhar ao beta" he called me and asked me to sit beside them. They patted my head with affection as if I was their son, "tum bohot acche ho bilkul mere bete jaise kyuki hum dono ka koi nehi hain na".

"Apke bacche nehi hain?" I questioned them.

"Hain to! Do bete hain, bahu hain pota poti hain" the old man said merrily.

"Kaha hain wo log?"

"Bacche bare ho jatey hain to burhe maa baap ko bhul jaate hain" the old man sighed, "bacche,pota poti sab ek na ek din sath chor dete hain par saccha jeevan sangini kabhi sath nehi chorti isiliye to unhe Ardhangini kehete hain".

"Shotti?" I asked softly

He recalled the incident and realized what he has done. After a long time he finally came to his senses. He looked at his hand that was shivering and held it with another hand, "Bondita"

"Apne bulaya kaka sasurji?" she stood near the threshold.

"Andar ao bahu"

Bondita sat near his feet, "kuch kehena hain kya apko?"

"Anirudh ne tumhare liye itna kiya hain apni puri zindagi, tum uske khushi k liye kya kar sakti ho?"

"Sab kuch kar sakti hu" she amswered in no time.

"Anirudh k khushi k liye usey kisi aur se bat paogi?"

As soon as he said the Bondita's worst memory flashed in her head, her worst nightmare.

"Bahu tum samajh rahi ho na hum kyu puch rahe hain tumse? Tumhare ijazat k bina kuch nehi karenge hum"

She remained quiet.

"Tum bolo bahu Anirudh ko to khush rehene ka hak hain na?"

She gave a thought and realized that she has no right to snatch away her pati babu's happiness. Her pati babu has destroyed his own life, struggled for her better future and how worthless she is that she in return she snatched away his happiness and all of a sudden she spoke out, "Ha mein bat paungi."

It was late night, Anirudh entered the study with a handi of rosogolla in his hand. He was guilty of what he did today.

He sat beside her who was sitting under the table and pressed her hands firmly, "Bondita itne saal huye hum ek sath hain, ajtak hummey apne khushi k liye kisi ki sahara nehi lena para".

She still remained quiet and stared at the was like a life less dummy.

"Hum dono aise hi ek dusre ko puri zindagi dher sara pyar denge, ek sath rahenge burhape mein bhi" he chuckled with moist eyes, "tum aur mein ek sath rahenge, koi tisra nehi sirf Anirudh ki Bondita aur Bondita ki Anirudh sath sath rahenge, khushi khushi. Itna pyar karenge ekdusre se ki bacche na hone ki akela pan kabhi mehesoos hi nehi karenge hum" he said and his voice came out through her muffled cries.

His voice broke this time, "kuch bolo na Bondita". He held her face and gently moved his hand over her cheeks where he had hit her and made her head place on his shoulder.

They remained silent for a long time unless she broke the silence

"Agar apki patni koi aur hoti to apko ye din nehi dekhna parta, meri wajase ap kabhi...."

She still stared at the wall and didn't notice his face. He was shocked hearing this statement and looked at her with shock.

"Ap pe koi rom nehi hain, ap kisi aur k pati bhi ho sakte hain".

Anirudh's hold on her loosened and he moved away an inch. His face depicted horror and shock by such a statement made by her.

"B..Bon...dita" he murmured softly.

The priest handed him the photograph of the girl of age 24-25 in a beautiful saree, dark round eyes, an epitome of beauty, "sulakhshana, sushil hain ye" added the priest, "aur nakhshatra ka aisa yog hain ki vivah k ek varsh purv his putra santan ka janm degi".

"Humari beti wo har chiz degi apne pati ko jo unhe unki peheli patni na de pyi aur mard to hotehi aise hain, jo aurat khushi degi, pati usika hoga".