"Bondita" Batuk sighed and looked at the diary, my best friend, dada's wife someone whom I always loved was an angel of our family. She was the boon in form of a 10-year-old when she first stepped in our house calling Dada a dumb show. Kyuki wo gunge hain" Batuk laughed recalling the incident. "Her presence used to irritate all of us but who knew one day she will rule our hearts. Bondita is different, she is special and the place that she had made in our house, nobody could replace her".

She slightly smiled at Batuk, "I want to meet her. She seemed so sweet. Will she love me too?"

"Why not" Smiled Batuk.

"Can I ask you something, was she just like Bondita? By she, you know whom I am talking about"

"Shhh" Batuk placed his fingers on his lips, "Do not call Bondita by her name".

"Sorry, actually I sometimes get so carried away by your stories that I tend to forget this" she now looked outside the snow-filled streets, "see" she pointed outside, "this is the place which was once full of dead bodies and nazi flags and now there is snow. I read something like this you know, by William Wordsworth that after every gloominess there is a glimmer of happiness, your birthplace must be very beautiful and peaceful..."

"Yeah it is"

Those eyes wanted to see peace after what she saw all her life, "they were burning a pile of books saying liberated mind leads to communism, what a folly!"

"You are just like her, who loved to read books too," he said with a smile. (Here she is not Bondita)

"The car is waiting downstairs" an old lady came and informed them. Holding the diary tightly, she went downstairs and sat inside the car opposite Batuk.

Batuk looked at her face which was shining brightly. "Let's read further" he changed the page.

......................................

My eyes were fixed on the clock. I had to go to court but here I was, making garlands. I don't want to offend pishi after all she will leave today. "Pishi mujhe 2 baje nikal na hain court k liye" I said while making alpona. "Ha to? Kaam khatam ho jay to ja sakti hain" she replied sternly. But she started to load me with more work for the puja as if she was not willing to let me go but I was determined because I know my pati babu waiting for me there, will shout at me and then at the family members for no reason. Sampoorna didi didn't even help me once instead was ordering everyone. This puja means a lot to Kaka and there shouldn't be any mistake. I completed all the work before time and when pandit ji came and everyone got involved in Arti I sneaked out silently.

I had no time change hence I went to court in the attire of zamindar ghar ki bahu only.

Pishi was checking all the things needed for puja keenly. "Kya dundh rahe ho didi?" Asked kaka.

"Galti"

"Mila?" He questioned her.

"Nehi" she now stood up and went to him, "maine socha tha ki koi na koi galti dhundkar ussey rok lungi par nehi rok payi...itni choti umar mein itni nipun".

"Humne kaha tha na apse" kaka said proudly, "humari bahu sakhshat devi Lakhshmi hain..pehele to hummey bhi ladkiyo ka ye bahar jana pasand nehi tha par jis tarha hain wo ghar bahar dono sambhalti hain hum kaise rokte ussey?"

"Sahi kaha Lochan" she sighed, "maine aane k badse jaan bujhke koshish ki ussey rokhne ki, bandhne ki par naam sahi hain, kabhi na bandhne wali Bondita. Mere aane ja maksaad hi tha uska ek parikhsha lena ki ek zimmedari ko nibhate nibhate kahi dusre ko na nibha paye par usne mujhe galat sabit kar diya".

When I and Pati babu came back home, pishi was ready to leave but before that, she called me to her room. I was scared, maybe I made a mistake and that is why she wants to punish me. I pulled down my veil and took slow steps to her room.

She was standing near the cupboard, "andar a bahu" she said without even looking at me. I was so scared that I almost choked when while talking.

"Hath agey kar!" She said in a ice-cold voice as if in despair. I didn't even give her a chance to repeat her statement hence forwarded my hand. She is going to hit me? I closed my eyes but felt nothing. She removed my veil and snacked my head with a sweet smile, "pagal ladki".

"Pishi ap itni jaldi kyu jaa rahe ho" I frowned. "Mera bhi to ghar hain" she said while taking out something from the cupboard, "aur jis karan se yaha ayi thi wo puri ho chuki hain".

"Konsi karan?"

She took out to golden bangles and made me wear them, "Shubhra ko dhundne".

"Maa ko?"

"Ye tere saas yani Shubhra k kangan hain" she pointed to my hands, "Ye Roy Chowdhury haveli ko salo se mardo ka samrajya kehte hain par Shubhra thi jisne issey jor k rakha tha. Marne se pehele usne mujhe kaha tha ki is ghar ki bari bahu ko mein ye de du par maine than liya that ki mein ussey dungi jo kabil ho". She looked at my eyes, "ussey jo Shubhra ki jagah le paye. Mujhe galat faymi thi ki Shubhra ki jagha koi nehi le sakta par tuney wo gakat faymi dur kar diya".

My jaws dropped on hearing this, "nehi nehi, maa ki jagah mein kaise..."

She held my chin, "tuney le liya hain wo jagha. Shubhra ne saare moti o ko ek dhage mein piroya tha par sab bikhar gaya tha. Sallon baad firse kisi aurat ne un moti yo ko dhage mein piroya hain".

She kissed my forehead like a mother, "is ghar k sabhi, tere dono sasur, devar,pati sabko tujhse bohot lagav hain".

"Pishi sach kahu to mujhe apse daar lagta tha par ap bohot acchi ho, ap ruk jaiye na kuch din. Meri janam din hain kuch din baad, fir mein 20 ki ho jaungi, ap ruk jao tabh tak" I insisted.

"Lehere, samay aur teri ye pishi kabhi nehi rukti kyuki hum aurat agar rukey to ghar k mard ra henge bhukhey".

Pishi left that evening. I was really missing her. Yes, she was strict but she was a nice person just like my Kaka Sasurji. Now I know even if she has orthodox thinking why does pati babu never confront her because she is not what she shows. Before leaving she has taught me si many things ki problems sabke zindagi mein hotey hain aur humney uska dat k mukabla karna chahiye like she did.

...................

"Wait!" She stopped, "my urge to meet her is increasing. She won your pishi's heart, she fulfilled her all responsibilities without letting anyone a chance to complain, I want to be like her, perfect. I can't wait to meet them all".

"We will soon"

.......................

The girl's school which I wanted to establish in Tulsipur, the request was Granted by Sir Francis

......................

"Sir Francis....I know...." She said excitedly.

"Shhh" glated Batuk, "I know that you know him but do not spoil the story.

........................

I had to meet Sir Francis for the signatures but he was in Gangtok. I had to leave for Gangtok by tomorrow. While I was packing my bag, Bondita entered. She looked around the room which was a complete mess. "Ye sab kya hain!" She was infuriated, "apne kamra itna ganda...." Her eyes stopped at my bag and her face turned paler, "ap kahi jaa rahe ho?"

"Ha mein batana bhul gaya kisi kaam se mujhe Gangtok jana patega".

She looked sad, "apne itni bari baat batana bhul gye? Sach kahiye pati bau, kaam hain ya waha apka koi parivaar hain".

Again Bondita and her weird imaginations. The award of overthinking goes to her. I thought of having some fun, "ha hain na, bhara parivaar hain".

He placed her hand on her waist and looked at me with anger.

"Do lalla aur ek lalli"

"Ap bhi na" she fussed and looked away.

He forgot my birthday! How come he forget.

My 20th Birthday and I don't want to celebrate it without him. I want him by my side on that day. "Zaroori kaam hain?"

"Haa"

"Kal jayenge ap?"

"Haa"

"Mein chalu?"

"Nehi" he turned towards me, "tumhe kya laga ye wakil o wali tarkib laga k mujhse haa bulwaogi, bhulo maat mein tumse umar mein bhi bara hu aur tajoorbe mein bhi".

I shook his hand, making a cute puppy face, "le chaliye na please".

"Mein ghumne nehu ja raha hu" he scolded me. "Please" I again forced him but he was stubborn.

Now my last weapon was left, divyastra..."agar ap chale gaye aur yaha mujhe kuch ho gaya to rakhshak babu kaise ayenge?"

Pati babu thought for a while and left the room. This angered me so much. "Bara aya". Suddenly something came to my mind to release my anger. I wore his shirt, coat and his hat. Those were oversized but I managed to do so. "Mein Anirudh Roy Chowdhury," I said in a heavy manly voice, mimicking the way he talk, "mein tumhe nehi le jaunga Bondita" I mimicked his way of talking, "Bondita tum bacchi ho, laparwa ho". This is what he says all the time. I looked at myself in the mirror, "mujhe to bass chillana ata hain sab pe" I said and giggled recalling the way he shouts at every one, "lurakta huya lota".

I, with my makeup stuff wrote on the mirror, "Rakhshas Babu" And rolled my tongue out at it in a teasing way.

I went to Kaka's room to seek permission. Her birthday is on way, so I decided why not take her too. She will have a break for some days. When I came back to our room from what I saw blew up my mind.

In childhood have you ever dressed your tiny dolls in large oversized clothes? Bondita had a little doll with which she used to play during childhood. She used to wrap her dolls in large handkerchiefs. She was looking exactly like that

Bondita was wearing my white shirt which was drooling from her body. My pants were so big that Her both feet could fit into one. The suspenders were hanging on either side as those were too big. On top of that she was wearing my winter coat whose sleeves covered both her arms fully. She was wearing my hat which covered her full head and eyes. The shadow of the hat was up to her nose.

She was acting like me, mimicking the way I walk, I talk. Then she wrote "Rakhshas Babu" on the mirror and started laughing. I leaned at the door and silently enjoyed her tantrums.

While laughing she looked at me and her laughter vanished. Her face spoke her fear. She looked down and took one step back. I folded my arms and looked at her with rage, faking my anger. "Wo...." She stammered and I noticed a drop of tear escaping her eyes. I opened the hat and threw it aside. "Mein..s..so..sorry"

I took a step towards her and she took a step back. She still looked scared and I still held the serious face.

"Mein Rakhshas?"

"N..nehi" she said softly.

"Mein chilla ta hu?"

She nodded her head in no, "N..nehi"

Her feet hit the bed and she was about to fall but I held her by her waist and pulled her towards me. "Agey se aisa nehi karungi, Shotti" she made an innocent face.

I couldn't control this anymore and started to laugh. She rubbed off her tears and pushed aside, "apne mujhe dara diya, ap gande ho".

"Accha? Thik hain fir jo tumhe Gangtok le jane k baare mein soch raga tha wo nehi karte".

There was a wide smile on her face. She almost jumped on me and hugged me. "Maine socha ki Bondita k bina mein kaise Rahunga".

She wrapped her hands around my neck, "itna pyar karte hain ap mujhse?" She said drooling over her words as she stepped on his feet, moving more closer to him. He placed his hands around her waist and looked at her with love as he gently nodded his head.

She gave him a slow push but instead of going back he held her waist more tightly, "Apko meri parwa hi kaha hain?"

"Tum to jeene ki wajah ho meri" he replied while rubbing his nose with hers

"To agar apne mujhe kho diya to?" She blurted out innocently without thinking much about what she is saying but this made him angry and he removed his hand from her waist and covered her mouth in no time. Silence prevailed in the room and only the sound of a soft breeze hitting the window could be heard.

They were so lost in each other that they could hardly hear the constant ringing of the phone.

............................

"The phone of the study kept on ringing but nobody heard it due to the puja taking place in the haveli.

The very important call, if only dada had picked it up that day this wouldn't have happened. The phone rang and rang but no one picked it up. It was a call from where we don't know.

But I still regret not picking it up that day."

"Kiska phone tha" she asked.

"Jail tod k krantikari nikal gye the par unke sath sath nikle the kuch mujrim bhi. Barrister hain wo log, dushman to kam nehi...."

"Krantikari?? U must have seen many such fights?" She asked curiously.

"Yes I did, many fights, many death".

"Mujhse kam" she laughed, "I have seen thousands of death".

Batuk's face went paler. The joke she was laughing at wasn't funny but dark. Suddenly the car took a left turn and she fell to her right. She held the diary tightly, "David drive properly!"

She dusted the diary, "abhi gir jata" and smelled that diary, "wah! lavender and chrysanthemums".

................................

After returning from college I opened my diary to write down my feelings but when I opened the diary, a sweet smell reached my nostril. I smelled the pages, most probably Lavender and Chrysanthemum. But how is it smelling like this?

Suddenly I remembered that girl who mistook my diary for hers. I again smelled the book...that girl dressed in Bristish attire, I recalled her face.

"Hindi to acche se bol rahi this, par kapde aur Luther k sath baithna, hain kaun ye ladki?"

"Tumhe kya bas koyli ko phone do" I shouted at Bihari. "Ji chote Malik" said Koyli from another side".

"Cake kaise banate hain mujhe please batao" I almost requested.

"Ap bahurani ji se puch lijiye na"

"Nehi puch sakta, tum batao mujhe mein likh raha hu".