"Fir?" I asked my fellow attorney as we walked towards the car. He was narrating to me an incident that took place a few days ago. Our senior Barrister Mr Ray died due to some unknown disease. "Aur kya?" He said casually, "property unke naam ki thi to unke marne k baad hi angrez sarkar ne sieze kar liya ghar bar, unke patni ko unka pension to milta hain government se par utne mein kya? Abh bechari apne maike walo k daya pe reh rahi hain apne baccho ko lekar".

"Par wo to parhi likhi thi, naukri bhi karti thi" I questioned him. "Kya fayda jab rehne k liye saar pe chat na ho aur ye baat to mano ge Anirudh ki aurat ko jaydad nehi milta isiliye aisa hota hain, abh Mr Ray jab tak zinda the apni patni ko kitne pyar se, rakhsha karke rakhte the. Par jaise hi wo chale gye, ghar sukh sab chala gaya, sabne muh fer liya. Bechari dar badar bhatak te huya abh apne maike gyi hain upar se wo galat vridhwa reet."

"Par wo log to kaafi progressive the, vridhwa reet mante hain?" I asked out of curiosity. "Progressive to Mr Ray aur unke patni. Abh jab Mr Ray hi nehi rahe to kya karegi bechari. Upar se jinke sahare reh rahi hain wo ussey ye sab karwa rahi hain. Ladkiya chahe kitna bhi par likh le, ye samaj unhe agey barne nehi denge. Aur ye to ekdin hona hi tha. Mr Ray unse umar mein baare jo tehere"

This thing left me disturbed. I sat in my car and looked out of the window. My mind was still stuck with the situation.

He came home and to me, he seemed disturbed. I made him open his coat and asked him the reason but he denied the fact.

I could clearly make it out from his face, he was lost in some kind of thought. "Sar dard kar raha hain kya?" I asked him, "sar daba du". He nodded in no and opened a novel.

He was reading the novel while I was making the bed. Suddenly I saw him looking outside the window instead of reading. I secretly took the book from his hand in order to tease him but to my surprise, he was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that he was not holding the book anymore. I place my hand on his shoulder, "sab thik to hain".

He looked up, at me and I saw creases of worry on his forehead but he still couldn't reveal his thoughts to me.

Nobody knows what was going on in his mind.

I opened the diary and flipped through the old pages. Tears dripped on the page making the alphabets erase. I have started to distance myself from her. She still thinks that was just acting but only I and Dada know the truth. Dada even asked me whether I was okay with all these and I assured her that she was just my childhood infatuation just like Saudamini didi was to him.

I lied!.

My heart was wounded now and I don't know who will put the ointment on this wound this time because Bondita can't and shouldn't. I think I should call her Bondita Boudi. This will help me to stay away from her, from Bondita Anirudh Roy Chowdhury.

"Kal Maa Kaali ki maha puja hogi yaha mein chahata hu ghar ki dono bahu apni zimmedari sahi se nibhay"

"Par pishi maa" Bondita interrupted, "kal pati babu k case ki faisle ka din hai , agar mein nehi pohochi to wo haar jayenge" she said.

"Ladki ka dharm ghar sambhalna aur mard ka bahar sambhale" she said Sternly. "Bahu" added kaka, "ek din Anirudh ko samjha lena tum".

Bondita knew very well that Anirudh won't listen to these excuses instead worst might happen. He might start shouting because that is what he is good at which may offend pishi and she might leave. So without saying much, Bondita agreed with pishi but in mind, she decided that she will work really fast and will go to court after completion of her work. She is a Barrister as well as bahu of this house so she is responsible for both the platforms and so she decided to fulfil both her responsibilities properly.

I lied to everyone that I am going to work but actually I went to Devipur. I knocked at the door and Maa opened it. She was so elated to see me. "Arrey jamai babu, aiye aiye" she looked behind me for Bondita. "Maa" I touched her feet, "mein aj akele aya hu, mujhe apse bohot zaroori baat karna hain".

Maa gave me a glass of water to drink, "boliye jamai babu". "Wo maa ap ye maat samjhiye ki kisi lalach k waja se puch raha hu par mujhe Bondita k baba k jaydad k baare mein puch na tha".

"Chi chi" maa said immediately, "mein aisa kaise sochungi, ap mere bacchi k liye bhagwan hain, apke baare mein aisa sochna yani bhagwan k baare mein aisa sochna, puchiye kya puchna hain".

"Maa" I looked at her, "Bondita k baba k maut k baad unke sampatti ka kya huya kyuki Bondita k asli ghar to bohot ameer hain".

It seemed like Maa recalled some old memories which made her emotional, "Bondita k baba k ghar se humme chale ana para kyuki sasural pati ka ghar hota hain, pati k pehechan se ek aurat waha rehti hain, pati hi nehi to ghar kaisa? Waise bhi pati hota bhi hain to jabtak pati chahe tabhtak hum reh sakte hain waha"

Her words made me emotional too. I recalled Bondita saying a lot of times, "mein apna ghar chorke apke ghar rehne ayi thi".....APKE GHAR, I recalled kaka saying to her many a times that ye tumhara maike nehi sasural hain. I recalled the moment when Bondita was young and I threw her out of MY HOUSE and made her chori hui aurat. Maa is right..agar wo uska ghar hota to mein kya Bondita ko nikal pata? My eyes turned teary as guilt of ages ago caught me

Maa continued, "zameen saare sarkar k ho gaye aur kuch paise the mere pas. Jab tak paise the sab thik tha, paisa khatam, dada aur boudi ka pyar bhi khatam".

"Bondita k baba ne apke naam pe kyu nehi kiya sara sampatti, aisa hota to apko itna dard sehna nehi parta, ya fir Bondita k naam pe bhi to kar sakte the"

Hearing this maa gave me such a questioning look as if I have used some alien words which she had never heard off.

"Ap ye kya keh rahe hain" she chuckled, "jamai babu apko nehi pata ki ek aurat sampatti k bhagidar nehi ban sakti, ye samajh ki reet hain".

I was shocked again, samajh ki reet? Why can't a woman get what she deserves? Why does only the son get his Father's property, not his daughter?

I was called to my college for a special function. British official Lord Luther and his wife Madame Katherine was coming so all the students as well as we the ex students had to welcome him.

As they entered all the parade was started by the students. The British flag was hoisted and everyone sang,

"God save our gracious Queen,

Long live our noble Queen,

God save the Queen:

Send her victorious,

Happy and glorious,

Long to reign over us:

God save the Queen."

My shoelace was opened and if the professor see this he will be angry so I quietly walked out of the parade, towards the corridor. A girl, a British girl was running down the corridor when she bumped into me and all my things fell on the ground, out of my bag so did we. I stood up and forwarded my hand to help her and that is when I realized she was an Indian dressed as British. She was wearing a white gown, white gloves and a hat. "I don't take help" saying this she picked up her books and left.

I entered the house that evening when all were present in the hall. Bondita smiled at me and was about to say something but I said, "Baba, Kaka mujhe ap dono se baat karna hain, study mein" and marched towards study.

Sorry Bondita for ignoring you. I know she must be feeling bad but right now I have much important thing to discuss. Baba and kaka Walked in, "kya baat karna hain tujhe?" Asked Kaka.

"Ap dono baithiye" I said on a serious note. They looked at each other and sat on the crouch. "Wo kaka apne jo hum teen bhaiyo mein batawara kiya tha na..." There was a long pause, "ha, tujhe koi dikkat hain ussey?" He said out of concern.

"Nehi wo..." I looked at them, "mere hisse mein jitna tha"

"Agey bhi bolo" Baba became irritated.

"Maine wo Bondita k naam kar diya hain"

"Kya!" They shouted together and stood up, "ek bar firse bol na kya kiya tumne?" Baba said in anger.

"Baba mere hissey ki sabkuch maine Bondita k naam kar diya hain, apke factory k shares, zameen aur jo kuch bhi tha".

"Kissey puch k kiya?" Baba said with rage. "Baba maine apse pehele bhi kaha tha ki mujhe aplogo se kuch nehi chahiye fir bhi aplogo ne mujhe ye sab diya tha, jo mera hain wo maine Bondita k naam jar diya".

"Pagal ho gaya hain tu" kaka shouted at me, banging his stick to the floor, "wo ladki hain, aj se pehele kabhi suna hain ki ladki sampatti k hissa bante huye". "Aj se pehle apne kabhi suna hain ladki ko Barrister bante huye" I questioned him back. "Kyu ek ladki ko adhikar nehi hain kaka?"

"Ye niyam hain" said kaka. "Ladkiya paraya dhan hoti hain, pehele pita ka fir pati ka aur zaydad apno ko diya jaata hain paraya ko nehi".

"Kya Bondita paraya hain?"

I asked a simple question and both of them went quiet.

I knew I had to deal with the situation calmly so instead of shouting and held kaka's shoulder and made him sit on the crouch. I sat near his feet and held his hand, "kaka bohot soch samajh k kiya hain. Mein humesha to uske sath nehi reh sakta, zindagi mein kabhi to uska hath mujhe chorna parega, agar mujhe kuch ho gaya..."

"Kya ashubh baatein kar raha hain" kaka inturrupted me. "Man lijiye, agar mujhe kuch ho gaya, uske baad Bondita ka kya hoga? Na maine kabhi uspe koi aanch ane diya jeete jee, na marne k baad ane dunga, chaya to sirf roshni mein sath deta hain, mein to andhakar mein bhi sath dunga, maarne k baad bhi, mein to bas uska bhavishya secure karna chahata hu taki ussey thokare na khani pare, apna ghar hi, apne hissey mein bhi kuch ho, kabhi asahay ne ho".

"Par..." said Baba.

"Par kya baba? Wo barrister hain, sakhsham hain, apne paer pe khari ho jaygi, bas thori struggle, thori mehnat, mere bina bhi is baat ka vishwas hain mujhe par mere taraf se mein koshish to kar sakta hu na?."

I looked at kaka now, "ap bataiye kaka, kya ap chahenge apke bacche mehenat kare, dukh dard sehe fir jake usey wo mile jo uska adhikar hain, ap ek pita hone k naate chahenge nehi ki apke baccho ko bina koi dard sahe sari khushiya mile?"

Kaka silently nodded his head in yes.

"Thik waise hi mein bhi yahi chahata hu. Kaka Bondita sirf meri patni nehi ussey barkar hain. Bachpan se meine khud usey shikshak ban k parhaya hain, pita banke cycle chalana sikhaya, maa banke sulana, aur khilana, dost banke baate karna sab kiya hain. Mera jo ye lagav hain wo mere dil mein ek daar paida kar raha hain isiliye maine ye faisla liya,".

I looked at baba now, "mein uska future secure karna chahata hu taki jab mein na rahu to usey koi takleef na ho, afterall mein ussey umar nein bara hu".

"Bahu ko bataya?" Kaka asked me.

"Nehi"

"Batana bhi maat abhi, warna ye sab jo tuney kiya wo lene se inkar kar degi"

A smile crept on my face. Indirectly kaka told me that he agrees with me. Baba and Kaka both patted on my shoulder and left the room.

I opened my bag and saw my diary was missing. I panicked immediately, it had all my secrets. Sure that girl has taken my diary. I searched for her in the whole college and finally found her sitting gracefully with lord Luther. Isn't she Indian? Why is she acting like British? But that was not my concern.

I waited for her to get away from the Britishers. After a long time, she did. She got up and I immediately pulled her aside. "You Idiot!" She shouted at me, "how dare you touch me".

"Meri diary liya hain tumne."

"Oh please stop lying"

"Check your bag" I said sternly. She checked her bag and her eyes widened. She took out my diary, "sorry asal mein shayad galti se agaya".

"Tumne mere diary ko hath kaise lagaya?" Said an irritated Batuk. "Hello mujhe koi shok nehi hain issey par ne ka, wo to mere pas galti se agaya tha" she argued.

Batuk snatched his diary from her hand, "kabhi mujhse bina puche isey hath maat lagana samjhi".

"Mujhi koi shok bhi nehi, pagal ladka, sirf ek diary hi hain, kohinoor nehi".

They turned around and took a different path.

As usual, we were all seated for dinner except Som Dada. Bondita was serving us food suddenly she glared at kaka, "Kaka sasurji ap chupke se mithayi khane ki koshish kar rahe the?"

"N..ne..nehi bahu" kaka stammered. Sometimes she acts so motherly to all of us that even kaka gets scared of her scolding, "maine dekhi abhi" saying this she removed the sweet bowl away.

"Bahu ek se kya hoga" Kaka protested like a ten year old. "Nehi" she widened her eyes at him. Both Dada and I giggled secretly. "Apko sugar hain usiliye ye apko nehi milega aur Bhari jaka Som dada kaha hain?"

"Unhone kaha hain ki kamre mein hi kha lenge" said Bihari.

"Na!" Bondita placed her hands on her waist, "unse kahiye ki niche aake sabke sath hi khana parhega".

Soon Som Dada joined her too.

Pishi who was observing all these was impressed by her. Not only how she takes care of everyone but also how she knows everyone's choice of food and at such a young age.

Pishi recalled the last time she visited here. The boys were small and the family was more than broken. Binoy used to stay away from home for most of the time, the boys were busy in their respective world. Trilochan was facing difficulty in handling all these alone. The dinner table used to stay empty most of the time. Batuk was a baby, Som was selfish and ruthless, Anirudh used to stay away from all these. He used to remain lonely and sad all the time.

But now when she looked again, everyone was together, laughing and talking to each other. That day also pishi saw her studying in the kitchen while doing the household chorses. She felt elated that Bondita is capable enough to make every one happy. To make Pishi happy she didn't offend her husband that day.

Pishi recalled her young age when her husband died and her children were small. They were poor and she decided to take up the business. She worked on the spices along with doing all household chores.

Bondita's appearance proves how much she works hard for the family. The slightly burnt marks on her hand along with ink proves that she cooks for the family as well as studies. There is tiredness on her face hidden behind her charming smile which a man can never see but only a woman could. That is why pishi noticed ut and the men of the house never did.

Bondita served the food before they even asked what they want proving how much she knows them. Pishi smiled at her and then frowned looking at Sampoorna, "tu bhi to khana paros" she said to Sampoorna when all went quiet, "Bondita akeli karegi kya?"

"Roz Bondita hi karti hain, mein ussey audey mein bari hu na" replied Sampoorna. "Apni karwi boli bakiyo ko bolna, pishi k samne zuban mat chalana kyu ki pishi janti hain terhi dum sidha karna". Sampoorna lowered her head and murmured something in anger. For the first time, Binoy didn't take her side because taking her side will be going against pishi and dare anyone do that.

"Malik" Bihari whispered in kaka's ears, "mujhe bhi ek shayari sujha hain... Sampoorna shaytan ki nani shaytan ki khala, usko acche se pishi ne dho dala".

Since yesterday I haven't talked to her nicely, not even today. When I entered the room, she was sitting near the window in a plain pink saree that she wears at night.

When she heard me entering, she turned away and blew her cheeks. She had grown taller hence she had stopped hiding herself under the table like she used to do. "Bondita ko kisi se baat nehi karni, wo gussa hain"

I chuckled softly at her innocence and sat beside her, "par maine kabh kaha mujhe baat karna hain".

She frowned at me, "Bondita dukhi hain".

"To??" I started to tease her.

"Bondita royegi"

"Thik hain" I said casually.

"Ap kitne gande ho" she hit me on my chest, "jab mein kahi kho jaungi tabh apko pata chalega".

"Bondita!" I shouted at her loudly which made her shiver, "choti bacchi ho kya tum? Kabh kya bolna hain ye sikha nehi hain tumne?"

Bondita got scared of a sudden change in my behaviour. She looked at me timidly, "maine to bas aise hi bol diya tha".

"Maat bolo fir" I shouted at her again, "kaam baat kya karo fir". But then I realised I shouldn't have shouted at her so much. "Accha sorry, agey se nehi chillaunga".

She looked at me and made a silly laugh, "Anirudh Roy Chowdhury nehi chillayga? accha mazak kar lete ho ap"

"Mazak?"

"Ha" saying she stood up and started running in the room while I chased her. "Abhi dikhata hu tumhe"

She picked up a pillow and hit me with it, I did that too. The pillows tore apart and feathers started to fly everywhere. Bondita, not able to accept her defeat picked up some powder that she uses and threw it at me. I looked like a ghost, in white. I picked up the whole can of it and started to chase her unless I caught her and covered her with powder, making her hair untidy.

She laughed like a child and we both lied on the bed laughing hard at what we did just now. We turned aside and looked at each other, still laughing at our actions. I want my life to be like this forever. Happy, funny times with her, playful times like childhood. She rolled towards me, placed her head on my arm and hugged me tightly, snuggling to my chest. I want my Bondita to be happy, always, to be with me like this, close to me. I don't want her to cry....ever.

The phone of the study kept on ringing but nobody heard it due to the puja taking place in the haveli.

The very important call, if only dada had picked it up that day this wouldn't have happened. The phone rang and rang but no one picked it up. It was a call from where we don't know.

But I still regret not picking it up that day.