Teen baje ajana, sharp 3 pm in my study!

That's what he said and he is very particular about his work and I am struggling here in the kitchen. Tears rolled down my eyes not because I was sad but because my hand was burning. Pishi maa wanted to see how good a homemaker I am. Whether I will be able to cater the needs of the men of this house or not so she asked Koyli Didi and Bhari kaka to enjoy a holiday because today I will do all work alone.

I am not scared of working, I am scared of my Rakhshas babu. After cleaning the whole haveli by myself, cooking for everyone, washing the clothes and dishes my hands were already numb. Hats off to Koyli didi who does all work without any complaints. I thought I was finally relieved but pishi maa gave me one last job to do and that is pasting the red chillies. I looked at the watch, only half an hour was left. I thought that I will finish within time.

Once I ended pasting half of the quantity pishi stopped me, "daane k sath masale kon kut ta hain bahu?'

I smacked my head. How could I make such a silly mistake? Actually all I was thinking of Pati babu's anger and that is why this happened. I had to restart the process of pasting again. My hands were burning due to those chillies which caused tears in my eyes. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and again started working. It was such a painful sensation that my hands slowed down.

"Hath kyu nehi chal rahe hain tere?" She questioned me. "Wo hath mein jalan ho rahi hain" saying this I was about to wipe off my sweat but she held my hands, "buddhi naam ki koi chiz hoti hain, tujhme hain ya nehi" saying this she rubbed off my sweat and tears with her pallu very gently, "sehena aurat ka gehena hain samjhi, ek mard jalane k liye aur aurat jalne k liye hi bani hain".

She never fails to amaze me. Although she was making me do all these, she also took great care that I don't get into any trouble. Although I Was saying all these, I could feel a motherly warmth from her.

and she is late once again. I was waiting for her eagerly, ready to outburst my anger when she came running, "sorry sorry" she held her ears and made a puppy face which cooled down my anger immediately. "Pata hain ap gussa ho par agey se nehi hoga, Shotti". I chuckled, "thik hain baitho, aur jo mein keh raha hu wo likho, kuch important points hain is case k".

A wide smile crept on her face as she sat on my chair and opened a notebook.

I started dictating while she wrote down the points. After 10 minutes and looking at her felt like there was no movement of her hands. Is she even writing? I snatched the copy from her and anger caught me immediately.

There was only a few alphabets written strangely. She looked at me with guilt while I banged the copy on the table and she shivered in fear. "Wo..."

"Chup!" I shouted at her on top of my voice, "tum yaha mazak kar ne aye ho Bondita?"

She nodded her head silently and started to weep. "Mere samne ye nakli ansu maat bahao, koi kaam nehi hain abh".

"Kyu kuch nehi likha tumne?" I asked her calmly but she remained quiet, lowering her head. "Maine kuch pucha!" I shouted so loudly this time that it echoed in the room. She looked at me with tear in eyes, "meri baat to suniye".

Pati babu shouted at me so badly that I shivered in fear. I tried to explain to her my problem but he kept on scolding me. My both hands were numb in pain due to the hard work pishi maa made me do today. I was unable to hold the pen so couldn't write anything but he was not ready to hear any excuse.

He yelled at me so much that I lowered my head silently and wept. My hands were burning now, they were red and had marks on them.

"Itni careless aur irresponsible tum kaise ho sakti ho?" He questioned me rudely, "it's an important case Bondita" he banged his palm on the table .

"Ap meri baat..."

"Tum ek incompetent ladki ho aur kuch nehi".

He marched out of the room in anger and banged the door behind him.

Pishi maa entered just after that, "do nao pe koi nehi sawar ho paya, tu kaise hoti? Ghar aur bahar dono kaise sambhalti tu bhala? Isiliye jo aurat ka kaam hain wo kar, ghar sambhal".

I pulled down my veil and answered, "mere pati babu kehete hain bhagwan ne kaam ka batwara nehi kita, na koi kaam mardo ka hota hain na aurat ka, mere shikshak babu hain wo".

She laughed sarcastically, "shikshak? Pati? Pati sirf swami hota hain shikshak nehi?"

"Aisi baat nehi pishi, mere pati babu to mere sakha babu bhi hain"

"Accha? To kyu nehi dikha tere sakha babu ko tera dard?"

I went quiet. Honestly, I had no answer to this. He didn't even listen to me instead used so harsh words for me.

I looked at her through the long veil that covered my face.

"Tu bohot tark karti hain na bahu to mein bhi kam nehi abhi apni baat sabit kar dungi, ye pakar" she handed me a dictionary, "tu to pari likhi hain to ye khol k zara bata pati ka arth kya likha hain, zor se parna".

I opened the dictionary and readout, "pati arthat Swami".

"Swami ka arth kya hain"

I stammered a little and read the line, "prabhu, yani kabza karne wala angrezi mein jisse kehete hain...I paused for a while, "master or owner" I answered timidly.

She smiled at me, "abh samjhi aurat ka sthan." She addressed all of us,

"ghar ki beti bojh kehlati,

bahu sukh pyasi sasural ki dasi

, pati hain gyani aur patni sirf apne pati ki naukrani".

She snatched away the book from my hand, "ye sab ek aurat ko shobha nehi deta bahu" she pulled my veil more lower, "par samne ek case hain aur maine acche se study nehi ki to pati babu gussa karenge" I argued. "Chup! jo maine abh kaha wahi teri bhi astithya hain aur baki sari ladkiyo ki, abh jaa rasoi mein, teri asli sthan wahi hain" she hissed at me.

For the first time, someone defeated me in tark, made me go quiet. I was walking out when she stopped me, "awaz chahe gale ki ho ya paer ki ahat, aurat k liye kuch bhi uchi nehi honi chahiye. Dheere chal, sirf Payel ki awaz ani chahiye, paer ki ahat nehi".

I picked up my copy and went to the kitchen. I offended him which I shouldn't have done so while cooking, I decided to work on the case, two things at once. I sat in front of the stove and started writing while the waster was boiling. It was getting difficult for me to write yet I did, slowly slowly. At times I dipped my hand in cold water and would start writing again. Again cook, write, dip the hand and this continued.

Aise hi Durgaa maa k das hath nehi hotey...aise hi unhe dashapuja nehi kehete. Mein dono sambhal sakti hu.

A time came when I got so much engrossed in writing that the milk overflowed. I tres to manage it and it fell on my hands that were already in a bad condition. I again dipped my hand in cold water. I still held the pen with my hand with was half burned, half red due to the cillies and after completing my work I secretly placed the copy on his desk to give him a surprise.

But when it became night and Pati babu was already asleep beside me, I woke up and moved towards the window. I stood there holding the bars. I don't know why but for the first time I was feeling suffocated as if I am in a cage, held by chains, chains of expectations.

Achi beti, acchi patni, acchi bahu banne k chakkar mein acche din kya hotey hain wahi bhul gyi.

Someone wants to be Barrister babu, some want me to become a mother, some wants me to become a griha lakshmi but what do I want?

Pati babu always says that there is no difference between a man and a woman but today I realized ki fark hain bohot fark hain. I pressed my head to the bars and looked at the night sky.

Even in the velvet dark, there is the light of the stars, perhaps a promise that even when we yearn for the light of the sun there will be those stars to bring the hope of the dawn. It is always the light we crave, for without it what is our world? Would be become creatures of the night forever to scuttle and hide from predators imagined or real? Either way, we seek the light, the chance to stand up and be strong, to see the beauty and be beautiful. For the ability to see others and ourselves, to see nature and her stunning variation is a great gift to each and every one.

Pishi maa's words echoed my mind, ghar ki dasi....sukh pyasi....

Pehele to unhe jhat se pata chal jata tha ki unki Bondita ko takleef hain fir aj kyu nehi? Jab wo sirf dost the mere tabh unhe parwa tha par abh nehi. Sach hain ek dost aur ek pati mein bohot fark hain.

Issey accha hota wo mujhe kabhi patni mante hi nehi. There is a spark in a friendship that is not there in this relationship. I want my friend back, pati babu and Sakha babu...there is a thin line drawn between the behaviour. Dictionary suggests friend is a companion but husband is a master.

I gazed at those bright friends of the moon and their pattern that seems so fixed and yet ever-changing, distant lights to call my heart, to inspire dreams of other worlds.

I felt like captivated, I am tired of catering needs. Suddenly something happened to me and I ran outside the house and spread my arms to take fresh air, an air of freedom. Due to the wind then the pallu slipped down from my head I felt elated, free and liberated.

Under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under stars so brilliant they drew the eyes heaven-bound, the lyrics of the starry night played softly in my arriving dreams.

But suddenly a soft sensation on my injured hand made me shiver. I looked at my hand and realised pati babu who kissed on my injuries.

When I woke up from drinking water, I realized she was not in the room. I went to my study in her search and found the copy kept on the table. For a moment I was happy by her sincerity and smile thinking of her but the very next moment my smile faded away when her handwriting concerned me. It was like a 2-year-old learning how to write. It seemed like she was having difficulty in holding the pen.

I went to the kitchen in her search but found no one instead a pen lying near the door.

I looked around the house for her when I saw the main door wide open. I walked out and what I saw just blew my mind. Bondita was enjoying the starry night. She looked like an eternal beauty under the starry sky. Even the shine of the stars seemed to get overpowered by her shine.

I looked at her hand my eyes widened. Her hand was red, swollen and had a burnt mark on the side. My heart shrunk in pain, the thought of the behaviour met out to her by me made me guilty. I walked to her. Her eyes were closed while she was enjoying the breeze, I placed a soft kiss on the burnt area. She shivered and looked at me. I held her tin, fragile hand and again place a soft kiss. She closed her eyes and started breathing heavily. My lips travelled from her palms to her elbow and finally to her neck and I whispered in her ears, "pati ban khi reh gaya dost nehi ban paya na?'

She opened her eyes and looked at me affectionately. I held her hand again and this time I cried, "mein galat tha, aurat aur mard mein bohot fark hain aur wo ye hain ki ek aurat ka janm beriyo k sath hota hain jo beriya kabhi nehi tootte".

She nodded her head in no but I know what she must be growing through. "Aisi baat nehi hain" she said softly but I pulled her close to me, making her head rest on my chest while I caressed her hair, "kaka humesha kehete hain ki ek aurat ne is ghar ko ek dhage mein piroya hain, mein chahata tha ki tum mere jaisi bano par wo kabhi sambhav nehi, ek aurat ek mard k tarha ban hi nehi sakti".

I felt my shirt getting wet due to her tears.

"Tum meri tarha kaise banogi, mein bachpan mein London chala gaya parne par tumne khel kud k umar mein ghar ki bagh dor pakar li, mere khilone the par tumhare pas ghar ki chabi. Maine apna ghar nehi chora par tumne chora hain, paraya o ko apna banaya hain, mere sapne ko sakar kiya hain aur apni zimmedari bhi nibhayi hain."

I kissed on her hairline, "mein to study mein baith k kaam karta hu tum to purey ghar mein kaam karti ho, mein sirf barristry karke desh banata hu par tum jaisi aurat, ghar aur desh dono banati ho".

She looked at me, "ap aise maat kahiye please".

"Aj thora dost banke wakt bitaya jay"

"Chalo!"

"Kaha? Wo bhi itni raat ko?" I questioned him but he held my hand and pulled me behind him. The streets were silent and all shops were closed, "saare dukan to band hai".

"Itni raat ko unhe akash vaani ayegi kya ki Chote malik ayenge raat ko" I frowned but he ignored me and pulled me again. After walking for a while at night he spotted a tea shop. "Chalo chai pitey hain".

"Ap kabh se chai piney lagey? Aur agar apko pini hi hain to mujhe kehete mein bana deti"

"Ofho muh pe rala lagao"

There were few men shit chating at the tea shop. It was already late night so Bondita felt a bit uncomfortable, "ap jaite mujhe nehi jana".

"Chalo na" he acted like a stubborn child and pulled her again, "dada do cup chai".

She sat on the bench while he remained standing beside her. His eyes again stopped at her hand and his heart filled with grief.

"Ye rahi apki chai" said the shopkeeper. Bondita almost forgot about her hands and held the hot cup. "Aaaah!" She groaned in pain which made him panic. He immediately took away the cup from her and held her hand, "itni laparwa ho tum".

She frowned at him but he held her hand and blew air on her hand. She kept on starring at her.

I kept on gazing at him when my eyes stopped at the sky as I spotted shooting stars. He was busy blowing air on my hand but I closed my eyes and prayed

"Tumhe chahana, tum he pana

Hain ye mera adhikar

Hath baralei samne tumi

R kichu chaina amar"

(Hath barhau to samne tumhe pau

Aur kuch nehi chahiye mujhe)

. "Baey hath se pakro cup ko" he said and took the first sip from his cup. Some mischief crept into my mind and I threw my cup on the floor, "meri chai" I pretended to be sad. "Arey koi bat nehi" saying he turned back at the shopkeeper but I stopped him, "firse kharid ne ki kya zaroorat? Apke pyale mein hain na abhi".

He looked at his cup, "ha hain".

'to dijiye"

Maa said that jhoota khane se pyar barta hain. My foolish pati babu couldn't understand my strategy. I took a sip from the side he did. He again took a sip we shared the tea from the same cup unless it started to rain.

Sudden rain of summer stopped us to go back to our house.

I ran under the shelf but she started to jump and clap in rain. "Bondita yaha ao, thand lag jayga" but she ignored me, spread her arms and enjoyed the cold drops on her skin.

As her sole touches the earth, Bondita's toes were bathed in the newly bequeathed rain. It gurgles, bubbling as she walked, soothing in its coolness.

Once you are so very wet, surely it's time to have a little fun. So we jumped right in with both feet, watching the newly released spheres of muddy water fly. Each of them was an airborne gift and we could hear the happiness inside one another without saying a word. Instead, we whooped and giggled at our own brilliant silliness. The rain kept on coming, the earth utterly soaked in its nutrient marinade, the trees taking a long drink now the rains have come.

I saw her getting all drenched which made me remember the day at Devipur. Her saree was sticking to her body, making her curves visible. She started to rotate now and her hair sprinkled water all over. I walked to her and held her shoulder to make her stop. There was silence except the clouds making sound periodically and droplets touching the ground. She looked at me and so did I. We wanted to say something but we didn't. I could have asked her to go back home like I always do but today I didn't stop her from enjoying it, I don't want her to feel like a prisoner. For the first time I saw liberty, how it feels to be free, she depicted it in front of my eyes. "Pati ka arth kya hota gain" I whispered, tugging her wet hair softly behinde her ears while water dripped down from my hair to her nose. "Likha hain ki...."

"Shhh" I placed my fingers on her lios, "pustak mein nehi, tumhare anubhav se".

She clenched my shirt as I pulled her closer by her waist, "pati arthat dost".

We got lost into each other. His hands roamed on my bare waist causing me to shiver. His hand moved on my waist while the other hand clenched my hair gently and then we took the next step.

The rain almost stopped, daylight crept through the dark clouds by now and our lips melted in each other. He picked me up a few inches from the ground but as we progressed to kiss more passionately, he picked me up fully and I had to lower my head.

Those drops weren't just magical, they were divine. Each one washed away an unseen pain, a doubt, an angst. For the time our lips were locked together in that rush of rain, the world itself ceased to exist, blurred and indistinct as an impressionist masterpiece.

Finally we broke the lip lock to breathe.

Her breathing became heavier and she was unable to stand properly. I again pressed my lips with hers. The kiss between us started to grow more passionate.

The street appears to have sprung into existence solely for the couple kissing so tenderly, their faces dripping with the wintry gifts of clouds. My hands, gently in her hair, hers upon my chest. Tucker smiles, and glances toward the sky that promises more rain to come, their sweet sound as a round of applause for love and romance.

They moved away now and looked at the vast sky

Colours arc into a bold sky, stretching as open hands reaching for the sun-kissed rain. I watch and allow my spirit to fly to the peak and glide down the other side toward the horizon, my feet may be right here in the puddle-adorned street, but our love needs all this room to play. Perhaps one day soon I'll see a double rainbow, twin arches depicting both of us into that silver-velvet above, I hope so, I really do.

"Tumne mare diary ko hath kaise lagaya?" Said an irritated Batuk. "Hello mujhe koi shok nehi hain issey par ne ka, wo to mere pas galti se agaya tha" she argued.

Batuk snatched his diary from her hand, "kabhi mujhse bina puche isey hath maat lagana samjhi".

"Mujhi koi shok bhi nehi, pagal ladka, sirf ek diary hi hain, kohinoor nehi".