"To tum nehi chal rahi? Itna bhi kya narazgi?" I said helplessly holding my bags. "She turned to the other side, "nehi mein nehi chal rahi, apke 20 din khatam ho chuke hain" now she turned towards me and joined her hands, "abh ap jaa sakte hain".

The pain was not of losing the challenge but of losing her. I had committed such a grave mistake that had broken her so badly that she was still in dilemma, whether to believe me or not.

Even after all I did, she wasn't ready to go with me. Maybe the damage I have done is beyond repair, the pain that I gave her was beyond my repentance. I chuckled with teary eyes and went closer to her, cupping her face I said, "Ye sach hain ki aj agar mein chala gaya fir tumhe lene lautke nehi ayunga par sach ye bhi hain ki tum jab tumhara dil kare tum ajaana, mein intezaar karunga". I saw her pearly tears rolling down her cheeks. I wiped them off, kissed her forehead and turned back to leave. "Socha tha ghar jakei tumhe wo kahunga jo kehena chahata tha par maine vaada kiya hain, chitthi hi sahi par aj raat mein wo keheke rahunga jo tum sunna chahati ho".

I could hear the sounds of his footsteps fading but I did not turn back instead covered my mouth to cry. When his footsteps finally faded away completely I sat on the floor and started to cry.

I want to go with him but I am scared of breaking and shattering again and again. I am scared of love and I know him being close to me will lead to my uncontrolled feelings. I don't want to cry anymore. I am a human too and I am tired of his frequent change of heart and mind and I cannot forget the fact that we got divorced and how easily he signed those papers.

He went away....

Sometimes I felt like going to him but then I asked myself to stay strong.

It was afternoon and I desperately wanted my mind to stay away from all these so I started analysing a case file when someone shouted, "Choti malkin Choti malkin".

"Kya hain" I said without looking at the man. "Malkin Chote malik ki ek gari se takkar..."

"Unhe kehe dijiye bar bar ek natak kaam nehi karega" I was still engrossed in the file.

"Malkin baat to suniye"

"Har chiz ki hadh hoti ha Ramu kaka..." I looked up and froze immediately. He was holding pati babu's attire which was filled with blood and he was holding his broken bloodstained watch. I sat on the floor with a jerk when he placed his things on my lap, "unhe haspatal mein bharti kiya hain gaon walo ne" saying he left. I remained in the same state for a while then hugged those tightly and broke down. Now blood was all over my face and Saree.

Dada was returning from Devipur but suddenly we got a phone call that he meet an accident. We reached the hospital immediately. Kaka was crying uncontrollably and After a few minutes, Bondita came running. We were already in tremendous tension for him but Bondita had to increase it. I understand she loves him but we were becoming scared for her, the way she was behaving.

"Pati babu!" She screamed in the hospital, "firse natak kar rahe hain" she smiled like a maniac, "andar jaana hain mujhe".

She was acting so crazy that Som dada and I had to hold her.

I know why she was doing like this. It was evident by her words that she was holding herself responsible for all these. Because she said no to him, this happened which is not true and Sampoorna had to add fuel to the fire. Even in such a broken condition she clutched her fist, "abh natak kar k kiya fayda Bondita? Tere zid k wajase hiya hain sab abh log to yahi kahenge na ki kha gyi tu apne pati ko, maar gye..." Before she could complete Bondita covered her ears and shouted, "nehi!"

"Bahu shant ho jao" said Kaka, "agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to hum Anirudh ko kya jawab denge?"

"Bohot burey hain wo, kya mujhe itna bhi naraz hone ka hak nehi?"

Som dada and Batuk held me when I was acting like a mad person, "pati babu k pass jaane do na mujhe!"

"Bahu shant ho jao" kaka cried.

"Arrey wo natak kar rahe hain, kal bhi kar rahe the. Mein unke samne jaungi to wo has parenge, unhone vaada kiya tha ki wo aj mujhe kuch kahenge" I tried to free myself but Som dada held me tightly.

"Pati Babu!" I cried and then suddenly everything seemed to blackout. I held my head and collapsed in Som Dada's arms.

Kaka glared at Sampoorna but Bondita was more important. We tried so many times to wake her up but she was not opening her eyes. It was all because of Sampoorna's harsh words. After sprinkling water, she slowly opened her eyes and the first name she uttered was "pati babu".

We made her sit comfortably, "sab meri waja se huya hain, agar mein unke sath chalti to aisa na hota".

"Nehi Bahu" kaka patted her head, "ausa kuch nehi hain aur dekhna jald hi thik ho jayga wo".

Doctors said that they can't say anything till he comes back to his senses. I saw her dedication towards him. She starved herself even when she herself was weak and sat near the door of the room he was in without sleeping. I saw her praying, I saw her crying, I saw the strongest woman break.

And this made me realise what love actually is, do dilo ka rishta, do man ka rishta, do aatma o ka rishta which I probably never had with her.

I remember this day so much coz I made the biggest decision of

MOVING ON!

"Anirudh Roy Chowdhury k gharwale kaun hain?" The nurse came out of the cabin. "Hum sab" said Kaka. "Abh ap log unse mil sakte hain".

Seeing Bondita's condition they felt it wiser to send Bondita to him.

Bondita slowly took steps inside and seeing him lying on the bed with bandages on hand and head made her heartache. She recalled his words, "agar mein chala gaya to fir wapas nehi aunga".

Her steps were so slow and silent that they hardly made any sound. She sat beside him and rubbed her hand gently on his forehead, "apko itna accha lagta hain mujhe rulana?" Saza mujhe apko dena chahiye par apne mujhe de diya?" She pressed her forehead with his, "agar ap ne ankh nehi khola to mein nehi aungi apke sath, katti kar lungi" she said like a 10 year old child.

She now cupped his face, "jaante hain mein gussa kyu thi, apne mujh pe jo ehsaan kiya hain wo mein kabhi chuka nehi paungi, ap samaj k virudh, sarkar k virudh jaake, har bar apni jaan daon pe laga k mujhe is kabil banaya hain aur ekdin achanak se hath chor diya apne isiliye gussa thi".

"Jaante hain har ladki apne vidai mein roti hain par mein nehi royi balki jab jab apse dur gyi tabh tabh royi mein, ha kyuki anjaan hokei bhi ap mere apne ho sabse zyada".

She leaned to him and placed her head on his chest, "bohot rulate ho ap mujhe, please aur maat rulaiye mujhe, abhi to ansu bhi sukh jayenge" she remained like that for a long time resting her head on his chest she weeped silently.

"Ma'am visiting hours khatam ho chuka hain" interrupted the nurse.

She got up, wiped off her tears, "unhe hosh kabh ayega".

"Kal se pehele to nehi" said the nurse.

Bondita looked at the large clock hanging on the wall. 11:24

Suddenly his voice echoed in her ears

"Mein jo kehena chahata hu tumse

Tum jo sunna chahati ho mujhse

Uski gavah banega kal ki raat"

After 12 it will be the next day. "Mein aj yaha ruk sakti hu, mein unhe disturb nehi karungi" I requested the nurse.

"Ok Ma'am"

Omce she left I leaned on him again and place my head on his chest, "ap apna vaada puri nehi karenge? Boliye" I was not facing him but on the other side but I could hear his slow heartbeat. My tears were wetting his shirt. "Ap vaada kaise tod sakte hain" my shivering soft voice came out in between my muffled cry.

I don't know when I fell asleep and then the clock struck 12.

In my sleep, I held a soft touch on the back of my head that made me open my eyes. When I did, I realized Pati babu's hands were responding to every stimulus. His eyes were closed but his fingers were moving.

"Doctor" I shouted excitedly and was about to go and call him but he held my hand and stopped me. I looked at him saw him slightly opening his eyes with a subtle smile on his lips. "Mein abhi Doctor babu ko bulake layi" but he stopped me again. I rubbed off my tears, "a..ap ko..." I choked, "hosh a gaya" my cries mixed with my smile.

I turned away, "mein Doctor babu ko bulake layi". He held my hand from behinde and a very fragile and weak voice he said, "mein jo kehena chahata hu tumse"

I didn't turn at him. My heart started to beat faster and in the silence I could hear the sound of the wind.

"Tum jo sunna chahati ho mujhse" his voice was low and weak which made him cough a little.

"Mein tumse..."

My body was shivering, neither was I able to stand straight nor was I able to turn back.

But before he could complete he started to feel weaker but still tried to speak, "mein..."

I turned back and covered his mouth, "apki tabiyat thik nehi hain, ap kuch maat boliye". He looked at the clock and removed my hand. He was determined to fulfil his promise today. He tugged my hair strands behind my ears,

"Ami tomake bhalobashi"

This words came to me as a soothing medicine over my injured heart.

We are so different,

You and I,

Yet together are balanced,

I couldn't believe my ears

My words pierced her soul, she looked at me with so much of love and respect in her eyes. Her eyes depicted oceans of emotions that had been caught in the tempest of love.

My heart was singing a soothing song, she was the first girl to whom I have confessed my feelings.

Unexpectedly she burst into tears and hugged me tightly forgetting the fact that I was injured. It hurt my ribs yet I kept quiet and allowed her to cry. I caressed her hair gently.

"Mein bhi...." Her voice was mixed with her loud sobbing and words were getting unclear.

I had planned for a perfect set up with lights and flowers but ended up in a hospital.

Next Morning when we went to hospital, we were flooded with good news. dada was perfectly fine. We entered his cabin where Bondita was feeding him soup.

"Anirudh" kaka exclaimed in joy. Bondita wiped off his mouth with her pallu and made him drink water, "kaisa hain beta?"

"Mein thik hu, ap sab log chinta maat kijiye"

"Haa bahu k rehete hum teri chinta kyu kare?" We all laughed.

"Ye bahu ko daant zara, ro ro kar bimar par gyi thi" kaka glared at her while she looked timidly at me which made me chuckle.

"Chalo ant bhala to ho bhala, tum laut rahi ho na Bondita?" Asked Som dada.

We smiled at eachother but suddenly baba spoke out, "par tum dono ka to talakh ho chuka hain, kaise raho ge ek sath". Everyone's smile faded away.

Silence prevailed in the room. I sat there as her guilty for playing with her life.

"Dekha apne fitoor ka natija" baba said a little rudely to me while he placed his hand on her head, "tujhe to kuch nehi hoga par iske zindagi ka kya?"

"Mein kuch karunga"

"Kya karega?" said kaka angrily, "humari bahu k zindagi ko khel bana diya tuney ek".

"Unki tabiyaat kharab hain, aplog please unse ause baat maat kijiye" she said timidly. Kaka marched out of the room angrily so did baba followed by others.

"Bondita" I cried, "maine ye kya kar diya? Abh kya karu mein?"

She held my hand, "lohe ko koi nehi tod sakta sivay uske khud k zang ki waise hi humme koi nehi tod sakta sivay hum dono k...aur hum kabhi alag nehi honge, kabhi nehi".

"Tumhe abhi bhi bharosa hain mujh pe?"

"Khud se zyada "

When he filled the sindoor, I immediately closed my eyes. Tears dropped from my eyes along with the red powder dropping on my nose.

Last time after sindoor dan when I looked at him, he was upset with a pain-filled eyes but today when I looked at him, he smiled back at me.

"Abh andar ao bahu" said I pushed the pot of rice inside and slowly stepped on the alta with my right feet while he held my hand tightly