I woke up hearing the most beautiful and melodious voice ever. The song was different from every day's arti because it was not Durga vandana instead a song dedicated to Krishna.

On the day of holi i.e Dol in bengali we worship lord Krishna.

I walked down the stair, following the sweet voice.

I stood at the threshold and saw everyone dressed in the most gorgeous white attire except me. Bondita was praying with all her attention dedicated to her god. Her voice sounded like as if she has given her soul to the idol. For me, it's an idol but it would be wrong if I say for Bondita also it is an idol. She believes in God more than anyone else.

She stopped singing and turned back to give the Prashad but before that, she took everyone's blessings by touching their feet even Bihari and Koyli which impressed me the most. She couldn't touch me since I have not taken a bath yet.

"Dekho a hi gaya, abh jaa jake taiyar bhi ho ja, jashn ka din hain" kaka ordered me.

"Suniye pati babu aj shirt pehenna maat, maine naya kurta rakha hain apke liye wo pehen na" Said Bondita.

I went to my room and took a bath. After coming out I saw a white kurta kept on the bed.

After wearing it, I noticed a button missing. "Ye Bondita bhi na, dukan mein jo milta hain utha k le ati hain".

Of course I cannot wear the kurta with a missing button so I decided to take a shirt out of my cupboard suddenly Bondita rushed inside saying, "arrey arrey ye kyu? Kurta peheniye na aj k din".

"Pehen to leta par button nehi hain iska" I said pointing towards the missing button.

She smacked her head, "ofho Bondita tuney dekha nehi, rukiye mein sil deti hu issey".

"Choro na, pehen leta hu na jo roz pehenta hu" I insisted.

"Nehi rukiye na do minute" saying this she took out a sewing kit from the drawer, "thori der ruk jaiye abhi thik kar deti hu".

She closed one eye in order to focus on the needle hole. "Jaldi karo na" I said impatiently while she tried to put the thread inside the needle. "Ek minute...ye ho gaya".

"Hath hataiye" she said pointing towards my hands holding the kurta. She walked close to me, closer and more closer and started to sew the button.

She was so close to me that I could actually smell a flowery smell from her as if she was in a garden full of flowers. Her eyes engrossed in the button and mine engrossed at her.

"Aaah!" She groaned and moved her hand away.

"Kya huya?"

"Kuch nehi baas sui chubh gaya" she said shaking her hand in the air. "Dikhao mujhe" I insisted but she moved her hand away, "chota sa hi to chot hain". I held her hand forcefully and looked at her finger. When I pressed her finger it started to bleed more, "aaa kya kar rahe gain ap choriye, kuch nehi hain" she cried. I immediately put her finger in my mouth in order to stop the bleeding, "zidd maat karo" I scolded her. She moved her hand away, "ye to mamuli si chot hain jo dikhta hain" she tore the thread with her teeth, "maine issey bhi bare bare chotey khaye hain jo nehi dikhte" she continued, "button sil chuka hain, neeche a jaiye".

"Bondita" Som Dada came running towards me, "aj tumhe rang lagakar rahunga".

"Nehi Dada please" I started to run while he chased me.

I want ki pehela rang mujhe mere pati babu hi lagay. So I hid behind Kaka sasurji jiske agey kisiki nehi chalti.

"Kya hain Som?" Kaka glared at him, safeguarding me. "Boudi ko chupa kyu rahe ho, rang lagane do mujhe, subha se kisipe rang nehi lagaya".

"Agle saal tak apne liye patni dhund lena fir lagana rang, chahe to apne Dada se ya fir baap se sikh lena kaise karte hain vivah, tajoorba hain dono ko, abh jaa"said Kaka sasurji which made me giggle.

I came out, "shukriya kaka sasur ji".

He placed his hand on my head, "hum apne bahu k liye apne bete k khilaf kabhi bhi jaa sakte hain".

I saw pati babu and ran towards him, "Pa-ti-Ba-Bu" I said singing. "Abh itne pyar se keh rahi ho pati babu to bata bhi do kya chahiye".

I frowned at him, "rang lagane doge?"

He nodded his head in no.

"Kyu?"

"Kyuki..." Saying this he emptied a full plate of colour on me.

"Ye apne kya kiya?' I shouted and ran behind him with the colours, "mein chorungi nehi apko".

Thori cheating to kar sakti hu na mein? So while running I pretended to get hurt. Pati babu came running to me, "Bondita tum thik to ho? Gir kaise gyi".

I immediately put colour on his face and started laughing.

We were all having fun when my eyes stopped at those delicious laddoos kept on the table. I picked one with kaju but koyli didi stopped me, "ye bhang k laddoo hain ap pista wala khaiye" and I obeyed her.

After few minutes I started to feel dizzy, the ground decoiled below.

Kaka saw Bondita and Anirudh putting colours on each other and with a smile he admired the couple, "mere Ram Sita ko kisiki nazar na lagey, aise hi dono sada khush rahe, sath rahe. Unka rishta anokha hain aur usey aise hi atoot rakhna".

Lohe ko koi nehi tod sakta sivay Lohe ki apni zang. Hum kehete to hain ki kisi aur ne rishta tora hain par sach to ye hain ek rishte ko khudke alawa koi nehi tod sakta. Hum tisre ko ane ka mauka dete hain isiliye wo aate hain. Hum khud hi apne haato se tod te hain apne rishte ko aur jab hum aisa karte hain to bhagwan bhi kuch nehi kar sakte.

"Mein ur chali!" Bondita suddenly spreaded her arms and started sinning with her eyes half closed.

"Bondita ne bhang pi li hain kya?" Batuk whispered to Som.

She started to laugh like a kid.

"Bihari!" Kaka shouted, "tujhe kaaha tha na ki laddoo o ko thik se rakhne ko".

"Ji malik maine wahi kiya, sade mein kaju aur bhang mein pista..."

"Bhudbak!" Kaja shouted at him, "hey shiv ji utha lijiye mujhe in gadho k sath rehne se accha hain.

"Anirudh Bondita ko kamre mein le jao, sab dekh rahe hain" baba whispered to me. I held her immediately, "Bondita kamre mein chalo. She smirked, "mein aur ap ek kamre mein?"

I felt embarrassed, Kaka and Baba looked away pretending not to hear and Som and Batuk looked at each other. I was feeling so ashamed.

"Chalo Bondita" saying this, with support I took her to the room. "Tumne bhang k laddoo kyu khaye?"

She punched me with her small fist and started to get disbalanced, "to kya pyar ka ladoo khau?" Bondita moved her finger, "na na na wo mere bhagya mein kaha."

She was about to fall but I held her, "ap aise hi mujhe pakar k rehna, accha lagta hain"

I removed my hand immediately.

"Ek baat kahu aj tak kisi se nehi kahi" she said while playing with flowers, "apko dekhti hu to dil zor se dhadak ta hain" she pinned the flower to her hair, behind her hair.

"Ek baat puchu?" She made a cute puppy face which made me chuckle. She stood on my feet and wrapped her hands around my neck. I tried to move her away because this was making me uncomfortable. She was not in her senses and I don't know what she was trying to do.

"Mein kya kam sundar hu?'

Why is she asking ne this type of questions?

"Mujhme aisi kya kami hain ki ap mujhse pyar nehi kar sakte?" This question angered me, "Saudamini didi, Manorama ji unme aisa kya tha jo mujh mein nehi?"

This angered me so much that I shouted at her, "Bondita!" And pushed her away.

Bondita fell down with the table, breaking all things and then started laughing like a kid, "apko kya laga mujhe dur bhej denge to mein apko bhul jayungi". She stood up with support and jumped on the bed, standing on it she said loudly, "heera Ranjha ko bhul sakti hain, laila Majnu ko bhul sakti hain par Bondita Anirudh ko, na na na, kabhi nehi bhul sakti".

"Bondita sambhalo apne apko".

She jumped down, wrapped her hands around my neck and pressed her nose with mine, "ap kyu nehi dete mujhe".

"K..kya?" I asked hesitantly.

"Patni ka hak"

I know she was not in her senses but still I couldn't control my anger when I heard this from her. I pushed her away and she fell on the bed, "kya laga rakha hain pati patni, ghin ata hain mujhe ye sunke" saying this I left the room, banging the door behind.

She continued to laugh with teary eyes

I stormed into the study and banged the table, anger ran down my spine remembering her words.

"Patni ka hak" I murmured and threw the hour glass.

I have never seen her in that way and I cannot give her what she wants. She is wasting her time with me. She needs to get out of this, away from me because one cannot live with hopes of getting love because she will never get my love.

"Patni nehi hain wo meri" I murmured, "bohot ho gaya abh mujhe kuch karna parega, Bondita k bhalai k liye ye kadam uthana parega. Socha nehi tha itni jaldi wo din ayega".

It was evident that she was speaking her heart out in drunken state and the fact that she thinks like this angered me. I cannot accept her as my wife, never! How many times do I need to tell her.

Enough now! For her sake I will take the step.

"Batuk!" I called him.

I woke up the next day with heavy head and when I recalled everthing I felt so embarrased and scared at the same time. I don't know what I said but must have done something wrong.

I ran towards study in search of Pati babu. He was writing something on a paper.

I walked in, gazing at the floor, "pati babu" I said softly, "kal jo bhi huya" I held my ears, "wo galti se".

"Bondita issey pehele ki tum kuch kaho mujhe tumse kuch mangna hain" he said with a plesant smile seemed like he is not at all angry at me.

"Ap naraz ho?"

"Nehi to" he smile again so I sighed a relief.

"Kya mangna hain?" I asked him.

"Gurudakhshina"

I was so happy. I always wanted to pay him his gurudakhshina, always afterall he has done so much for me.

"Ap jo mango ge wahi dungi" I said merrily.

"Shotti!"

"Ha shotti" I pinched my throat.

He forwarded the paper on which he was writng when I entered. "Ek sign chahiye ispe."

I took it from him excitedly, "bass itni si baat" saying I took the paper and looked at it.

The paper fell from her hand and she was about to fall herself. She held the table for support and looked at him with shock and horror, her large round eyes filled with tears.

"Kya huya? Doge nehi mujhe mera Gurudakshina" he said casually.

She looked blankly at him without any expression. Her pallu fell of from her head.

He forwarded her a parchment, "chinta maat karo sari taiyariya kar liya hain maine, sign kar diya hain maine, tum Roy Chowdhury hi rahogi, Batuk tumse bohot pyar karta hain, meri tarha nehi hain wo, jo mein nehi de saka wo Batuk dega aur wo hain pyar. Tumhe abh aur dard sehene ki zaroorat nehi hain, Batuk itna khyal rakhega ki tum bhul jaogi ki dard kya hota hain".

She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She held the table more tightly and tried to support herself. She gasped in an invisible pain. Clear drops of pearly tears fell on the ground.

Anirudh removed her hand from the table. Her hands had turned cold and stiff. He tried to place the pen in her hand but her hand was closed. He opened her fist and placed the pen. She continued to look blankly at him.

"Mein tumhe kuch bhi karne k liye zabardasti nehi karunga. Maine bass tumse apna gurudakhshina manga hain tum dena chahati ho to do warna maat do wo tumpar hain" he said.

Anirudh was crying from inside too but was pretending to be normal and heartless in front if her trying to make her realize that he has no feelings for her. His ignorance was above every thing so he was unable to see Bondita's dying condition.

Closing his eyes and mustering up courage, he pushed her away with a force leaving her in a state of shock, "mere paas maat ao, na tum meri mohabbat ho nahi patni".

She held the table for support when her feet trembled hearing this and she was about to fall.

"Maine bass tumse ek choti si chiz manga hain, ek dastakhat, ye hain mera Gurudakhshina" he said sternly, rather heartlessly.

Even after seeing the person in front of him was broken, shattered, and ground into the earth. It is so easy to break a person, it takes so very long to repair.