After 5 years...

She pedalled the bicycle as fast as she could. "Ruk! Dheere chala Bondita" her friend yelled.

"Late ho gaya hain! Ma'am ko farewell dena hain" she yelled while riding at a full speed.

She rang the bell, "samne se hato!" and continued to pedal at full speed.

The girl wore a woollen cap and a coat over her shirt and skirt. The long straight hair curled at the ends.

"Hato hato!" She yelled as the cycle ran down the bridge at full speed. People started running aside.

She stopped at a flowers shop where a woman was waiting with a bouquet. She took it from her in a hurry, "Thanks Mrs. D'cousta " she said and rode her cycle away again at a full speed, placing the bouquet in the basket.

Her cycle stopped at the college premises. She almost threw it away instead of parking and ran inside in hurry. "Ma'am!"

An old lady, her English professor was retiring. She came breathlessly to her and handed her the bouquet, "I am sorry ma'am" and she hugged her.

"My child, Bon-dee-tta don't say sorry" the old lady patted her head. "We will miss you," she said with a puppy face.

"I will miss all of you too".

Then she went away, a British boy and his gang called out, "Indians are always late". He was Robert of a rival gang who passes racist comments and always fights with her. When she was new here, he used to bully others, ragging type. She fought bravely against it and from that day the institution was divided into two different groups. One Bondita's and other Robert's group, the rivals.

Putting on a wide smile she went to him" o gaddhe".

"What did she just say?" asked Robert to other students as he didn't know Hindi neither did his friends.

"She called you friend," said Ishita.

"You dark-skinned people, I don't wanna be your friend," he said rudely.

"Tuney shakkal dekha hain, humare waha 7 din pehele maara huya murda barf mein aisa dikhta hain, Sweet generous Robert" she said with a smile again.

This time Robert thought she was praising her, "I am leaving" he said.

"Bye bye, narak k aag mein jal ke maare tu, bye handsome" she pretended to praise him.

Her friends started laughing. "Has maat Ishu, kal pati babu ayenge aur mein chahata hu ki unhe lagey mein shant, namr, pyari si ladki hu naki laraku, mera impression best hona chahiye" she said while they walked towards their hostel.

I looked at myself once again. Mein acchi to dikh rahi hu na?

No matter how much I tried to forget him but I was unable to. I love him, still do and after living away from him, I love him more now.

Everybody sees this fiesty, cheerful Bondita but nobody but me knows the pain hidden behind the happy mast. The heart that was once broken, is taped together now and may break any second.

Love has given me pain, only bane and nothing else. Love made me an insomniac. (Inability to sleep at night).

I loved him and love landed me in a dreadful situation with a psyco and that incident still haunts me at night.

I loved him and that is why he married Manorama ji, hurt me every minute, insulted me and broke me.

I loved him and that is why I am here.

I hate the word love but I just pretend

Actually I still love him, just show others that I don't believe in love.

Suddenly Ishita shouted, "tu ro rahi hain !"

I rubbed off my tears, "unhe mein acchi to lagungi na?" I made a puppy face.

"Ha bohot acchi lagegi par ha, unke samne thora kam baatein krna, thora thora sharmana, palke jhukana, hasna, thora latakna, thora matakna...ladko ko aisi ladki pasand hain, teri jaisi gundi nehi" she chuckled.

"Waise pyar karti hain na bohot?" Teased my friends n I nodded my head timidly.

"Janti hain unhe jab dekhta hu alag ehsaas hain wo" I said lost in my own thoughts.

"Kaisa?" Asked my friends.

" beheki beheki baaton mein unki, chadni bhi has ne lage, taare jagmagane lage, hawa gunguna ne laga aisa hain mera piya. Hasi unki mera ye dil sahe, ankho mein pyar jagmagay, aisa hota hain pyar.

Aur peheli ahsaas to alag hi hain. Dhadkane tham jati hain, saanse ruk jaati hain jab wo pass aate hain. Unki zulfe jab wo chalte hain par...."

She bit her tongue.

"Jwalamukhi, kabhi bhi faat sakte hain aur aspas k sabko rakh kr dete hain par fir shant bhi ho jatey hain.

Bonditaaaaa- aise bulate hain mujhe"

She started rotating now and picked up her Krishna that Kaka gifted her.

"Bondita parne baitho, Bondita badmashi nehi" she mimicked him, "Bohot acche hain wo, mein khush naseeb hu ki maine unse pyar kiya hain.

Aise bohot log hain upkaar krte hain, logo ko roshni dikhate hain par phir bhi mere pati babu khas hain, kyuki upkaar mein farak hota hain, roshni to electric bulb bhi dete hain par mere pati babu diya hain, khud jaal k rakh hokey mujhe roshni dete hain".

They went inside and she prayed to the idol and applied sindoor while Ishita watched her. "Tu bohot pyar karti hain na unse."

Her smile faded away but then she again faked a smile, "pyar vyar kuch nehi hota meri jaan" saying she took out a saree, "kal yahi pehenungi farewell mein fir pati babu k samne jaungi aise".

"Kal Robert agar tere pati babu k samne agaya to?" Asked Ishita, "gusse pe kabu rakhna samjhi".

The next day

"Churiya kaha hain" she yelled, "accha chor mil gaya" she said putting on her bangles. "Vaishali, saree plate thik kar de na" she cried.

All the girls were getting ready for farewell but Bondita was 100X more excited. She is going to meet her pati babu. She looked at herself in the mirror. After ages, she was looking like Roy Chowdhury Bahu".

In ship

I was eager to meet her. I am on this ship for a month and finally a few hours to wait. I was talking to a fellow passenger about her, predicting how she turned out to be.

"Bari ho gai hain to samjhdaar bhi ho gyi hogi, thori shant aur sushil swabhav ki hogi. Dheere se baat karne wali pyari si ek ladki. Bachpan mein bohot shararat karti thi, chulbuli si, choti si, abh to shayad bohot badal gyi hogi. Shararat to bilkul nehi karti, bari jo ho gyi hain. Gussa??? Bachpan mein gussa krti thi to muh fula leti thi". I chuckled recalling her blown-up cheeks, "bohot yaad ati hain uski". Tears brimmed my eyes as I smiled.

I recalled the moment I saved her from sati and filled her maang, the moment when she came to my study and we drew on pictures, the moment when we laughed together, the moment when we won our first chunauti, the moment when I saved her from Hira mandi, the moment when she first held her pen, wore her black robes...

But then something happened...

She grew up...

She started feeling...

Feeling love

While I couldn't...

And I never will be able to.

Ladh Liya Tere Liye Sabse Tujhe Bachaya Maine

Tujhe Paakar Kya Maine Khoye Apne Saare,

Dil Mein Thi Aag Jo, Dil Apna Hi Jalaya RE,

Toote Sapne Sajenge Kaise,

Nind Phir Udd Gayi Hain,

Jo Aaya Hathon Mein Hath Tera,

Rishta Tera Mera....x4

Uska samna kaise karunga? Dil ko sambhal nehi paya to?

Kaash jaisa mein chahata tha waisa hi ho, nafrat kare mujhse. Kash gussa ho mujhpe. Itne saal ussey dur raha, abh tak to uspe se pyar ka bhoot utar gaya hoga.

Uska wo infatuation, abh tak utar gaya hoga. Nehi utra to utarwa k rahunga. Batuk to haar saal ata tha milne. Bohot gehra hogaya hoga unka rishta. Maine jo bhi kiya uske ujwal bhavishya k liye kiya aur uske liye liya huya mera haar ek faisla sahi hain.

While I was thinking all this the ship stopped. I looked at my watch, 4 hrs early. Should I go to her hostel first? Yes, I think I should do this.

I looked at myself once again and then opened my box pf sindoor, "ye kya! Sindoor khatam?" My eyes widened.

"Mein abhi 2 min mein leke ai dukan se" I stood up Immediately and started opening my saree as I won't be able to ride in that.

"Par late ho jayga..."

Before she could speak changed my outfit and ran outside into my regular outfit and ran outside.

There were not many shops in London that sold sindoor. There was only one Indian shop across the street from where I brought my sindoor.

I rode my bicycle as fast as I could. "Hato hato!" I rang the bell.

In front of me, a man was passing by, "oye hatiye! Excuse me!" I shouted but the man was still standing, looking at the other side.

And then..

BAM!!!!

Bondita bumped into Anirudh and fell from the cycle, on the streets so did Anirudh. The sindoor in the basket of her cycle rose in the air and was all over Anirudh.

Anirudh's face was all covered with colours and he looked unrecognisable.

That girl, that annoying girl threw all colours on my face and on top of that started shouting at me. I was already getting late, I need to meet Bondita here in London but this stubborn, ziddi girl was wasting my time.

"Dekh k nehi chal sakte ap" she yelled at me, sitting on the road with her bicycle falling aside, "saara saman gira diya, pagal!".

"Ap speed se chala rahe the aur mujhpe chilla rahe hain? Osshobbho(uncivilized)" I was infuriated by her attitude, "upar se mujhpe ye lal rang gira diya!'

"Haw? Apne mujhe oshobbho kaha, pagol bangali kahike! Ap mujhe sorry bolenge samje ap" she stood up dusting her dress and pointed her finger at me.

"Nehi bolunga kyuki galti apki hain" I argued and turned back to leave when she held my hand, "apne jo mera saara saman kharab kar diya, sorry apko bolna hi parega."

When she held my hand, my heart started to pump at a faster rate. It was such a known touch, so soothing.

Pata nehi kyu dil ko sukoon de raha tha wo sparsh.

"Ap paise nikalo, khareed k do mujhe samjhe!" That girl glared at me.

"Nehi! Kyuki galti apki hain" I argued back.

"Jab tak ap meri baat nehi manenge mein apka hath nehi chorungi samjhe" she held my hand firmly.

"Dekhiye! Hath choriye, mujhe kahi jaana hain" I tried to explain to her calmly but she was so annoying. "Mujhe bhi apne pati se milna hain, mujhe bhi late ro raha hain samjhe ap".

"Tum nehayati badttamiz ladki ho, tumhare pati pe daya a raha hain, bechara" I said.

She narrowed her eyes and made faces, "mere pati pe maat jaiye ap samjhe, mein jaisi bhi hu unhe bohot pyari hu, chaliye sorry boliye".

"Nehi bolunga samjhi" -Anirudh

"Bolenge"-Bondita

"Nehi"-Anirudh

"Ha"-Bondita

"Nehi"-Anirudh

"Nehi"-Bondita

"Ha"-Anirudh

I covered my mouth. She tricked me into it reminding me of Bondita.

She snapped her finger in front of my face, "mujhse panga parega mehenga, samjhe pagal bangali Babu".

She picked up her bicycle and rode away leaving me surprised.

While she walked away, she turned back once, flipping her long hain and winking at me leaving me speechless.

"Waise humare Bondita bohot shant" her friend said.

I never knew she is such a good actor so I thought of teasing her too.

"Ha Bondita tum kitni samajhdaar ho"

She smiled and continued to fake herself in front of me not knowing that the man whom she fought with was me. I tried hard to control my laughter.

"Hi Bon-dee-taa" a British boy walked him seeing whom her eyes widened and face went pale.