Another storytelling session of Kaka. Bondita and I were listening to him diligently.

Dada was also passing by when kaka said, "tabh Madhav ne Panchali se pucha ki Sakhi prem kya hain janti ho?"

"Pyar dosti hain aur Dosti pyar hain," she said immediately.

I looked at her with shock, "kisne kaha tumse ye sab?"

"Kisi ne abhi tak kaha to nehi par kabhi na Kabhi to kahega" she giggled.

Dada and I looked at each other immediately with a ray of hope. That means Bondita loves me not Dada because I am her best friend.

Dada and I again looked at each other happily.

I looked at Pati babu and blushed. Pati babu always says that we are like friends. Isiliye pyar dosti hain.

Whenever I see him, I feel butterflies in my stomach. Yes, I love him. Mujhe pyar ho gaya hain.

"Bondita" he said, "mujhe tumhe kuch dena hain, sham ko terrace pe a jaana".

I rushed back to my room, took out his shirt and wore it over my saree. I danced and sang songs. Why will he call me to the terrace? Is he gonna propose to me? I sat on the swing on my balcony, hanging my head behind. My hair touched the floor. "Pati babu pyar ka izhaar karenge aj Bondita".

I choose the best Saree for myself, did the best makeover as much as I could.

She now started talking to her own reflection, " tujhe nehi pata Bondita jab ladka ladki ko sham ko akele chat pe bulay to uska kya karan hota hain?" She hid her face behind her palm. She, with her lipstick, wrote on the mirror "Anirudh sang Bondita".

"He loves me" she plucked a rose petal.

"He loves me not"

"He loves me"

" He loves me not"

Suddenly she stopped, her eyes widened and a dazzling smile crept on her face when she saw one petal left on the stem.

"He loves me" she yelled in happiness, spreading her arms around her, she rotated in the petals that filled the room.

Picking up another rose, she ran towards the terrace. She picked up her saree a bit higher and ran and ran. Her long pallu swept the floor and hair flew in the air as she ran. In the darkness of the night, ran the princess for her knight.

She came to the terrace and found her Pati babu standing, facing the back.

"Pati babu" she called softly, hiding the rose behind her.

He turned towards her and the dazzling moonlight grew upon him.

"Mujhe tumse kuch kehna hain".

"Mujhe apse kuch kehna hain"

They said together. She chuckled softly, "ap boliye pehele fir mein".

He took out a parchment from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Love letter?" She thought and with butterfly in her stomach she opened it.

Her smile faded away while she read. She pressed the rose that she was holding behind her, so hard that its thorns pierced her skin causing them to bleed.

She looked at him and faked a smile.

"Tum kuch kehne wali thi?" He asked her.

"Nehi kuch nehi, important nehi tha" saying this she turned away. The rose fell from her hand and she stepped on it mercilessly which he didn't notice.

He gazed at the moon and smiled, "tumhare ujwal bhavishy k oor ek kadam barhaya hain maine aj.

I entered my room almost lifeless and closed the door behind me.

I looked at the paper once again. He wants to send me away, to London. Agar dil todna hi hain to ekbar mein tod dete, aise tukro mein kyu?

The paper was of Hostel's form of London.

I was unable to keep my calm so I picked yo the vase and aimed at the mirror with Anirudh sang Bondita written on it.

The mirror broke into pieces, dividing the name Anirudh and Bondita.

I threw myself on the bed and cried my heart out. I could feel My little heart cracking and breaking.

The pillows were wet by now.

Heartbreak is evidence that I loved in good faith, that I made the kind of bond that hurts so very much to break. Yet in the pride that I did it right, that I was honest and loved with such integrity, is the start of my healing, for self-respect is required.

"Insaan ki sehne ki bhi ek haad hoti hain, wo haad jab toot jay to insaan bhi toot jata hain."

First heartbreak of young age. Yes, it is immensely painful. The little soul was tired of crying.

Only a lover can cause pain as deep as this. Only one all the way inside a heart can shatter it with just a few words. The worst part is - he knew that, didn't he? He loves me, he needs her, then he destroys her, ... then the music starts all over again.

The paper was her admission form. She will be sent to London in a week. He didn't even give her enough time to heal. Her wounded bleeding heart, her " kambhakt dil".

I know she is upset but this is important because it is for her ujwal bhavishya. I want her to become Barrister Babu anyhow and another reason is it will help her get over the attraction for me. I will not meet her for the next five years and will only send Batuk with Som to meet her yearly. This will strengthen their bond and she will eventually realize that Batuk is best for her than her pati babu.

I have a very soft corner for her and it will be always there but I won't let that be my weakness, never.

Kaka called me suddenly. I went downstairs and found everyone present. Bondita stood timidly, holding her pallu tightly over her head.

"Ye kya sun raha hu mein, tu bahu ko videsh bhej raha hain?" Kaka asked me furiously.

"Ha apne sahi suna, aur ye mera atal faisla hain" I said boldly.

"Ghar ki bahu bahar akele mardo k sath rahegi kya?"

"Wo is ghar mein, school mein mardo k sath nehi rehti kya? Aur mein bhi to gaya tha na kaka" I argued with him.

"Teri baat alag hain" said kaka.

"Kyu kaka? Alag kyu? Bondita jaygi bass" I said again, "Bondita k zindagi ka har faisla, sahi ya galat, lene ka adhikar sirf mera hain, sirf Anirudh Roy Chowdhury ka" I yelled on top of my voice.

"Jo marzi kar tu" saying this kaka stormed away. I saw her running upstairs.

I complained to kaka sasur ji thinking that he might help but no one has ever won in front of pati babu's zidd.

It was easy for him to say, "Bondita bag pack karlo".

Will he miss me? Perhaps not. He was not upset at all instead he was leading a normal life.

Koyli didi and Bhari kaka were helping me in packing. Suddenly Bhari kaka cried, " Bahu rani ji abh is ghar ko kaun sambhalega?"

I only smiled at him.

"Sach mein, agar ap shararat nehi karenge, to kaun karega? Apke jaane se ye ghar soona par jayga" said Koyli didi.

"Aplog ro kyu rahe ho, jake pati babu se kuch sikhiye, unhe koi farak nehi parta" I said with a lot of pain.

"Ap maat jaiye na" cried Bhari kaka.

"Bas 5 saal, zyada nehi hain, yu nikal jayenge" I said and kept my Durga maa in my bag.

"Bahu" kaka sasurji entered so I immediately pulled my pallu over my head.

"Ye lo bahu" saying he handed me a small Krishna, size of my palm, "ye Sone ki Krishna murti Shubhra behen ki thi, bohot manti thi issey". I took it and touched it to my forehead. " Aj hum issey tumhe uphar swarup dete hain jane se pehele, yaad hain humne tumse kaha tha ki Mira bai k liye bhagwan hi unke pati the".

I looked at the idol, "mere liye to mere pati hi Bhagwan hain".

"Ek number ka nalayak hain wo" kaka said angrily.

That night, the very last night I went to study to see him. After that day I didn't even talk to him.

He was sleeping on the couch. I tiptoed inside and placed one end of the coconut shell near his ears.

"Pati babu, jab ap jagey the mein ye sab keh nehi payi. Gussa nehi hain apki Bondita...nehi gussa hain par thori si. Mujhe pata hain mere pati babu mete sath kuch galat kar hi nehi sakte. Aj tak maine apko bohot takleef di hain abh aur nehi dungi, abh apke saar se bohot bari tension dur ho rahi hain. Mujhe apki bohot yaad ayegi...Apko nehi ayega?"

My eyes were moist now. I placed the Dev Das book on the table, "us din k liye maafi mangti hu, isi kitab ki ek line hain jo mein usdin keh nehi payi".

"Yu nazar ki baat ki aur dil chura gye,

Hum to samjhe the bud, ap dhadkan suna gye."

"Apne humesha sath nibhaya, zindagi k har moor pe, apke liye to ye dhanyavaad bhi kam hain".

Apki Bondita Barrister Babu banke dikhayegi, vaada raha. Bas mujhe bhul maat jaana, mujhme se kabhi kho maat jana."

Saying this I went away.

I was not sleeping, I was awake, pretending to sleep. I heard all her messages. As soon as she went away, I sat on the floor holding the coconut phone and broke into tears. Kyu na jaane aj ansu ruk hi nehi rahe....kyu itna dard ho raha hain...kyu maan mein hal chal mach rahi hain...Kyu?

Jab mein London jaa raha tha tabh apno se dur jaane par thora sa bhi dukh nehi huya tha par aj tumse dur honey par kyu toot rahi hu mein, kyu bikhar rahi hu mein.

Bondita was leaving next morning.

"Tum bohot yaad aogi" saying Batuk and Bondita hugged each other. I smiled at them. Som , baba, Sampoorna, Koyli, and Bihari all bid her goodbye. Kaka cried for her and blessed her. She slowly came to me and touched my feet, today I couldn't stop her.

She sat in the car and we headed towards the port. Never was our drive so silent. We reached Port and Mr Bajaj, one of the caretakers of our other haveli was waiting for us. He is a trusted man, he is supposed to take her to London.

The ship was about to leave. "Chale Bahu rani ji" said Mr. Bajaj. She went with him towards the ship without even talking to me and this broke my heart.

She finally went inside. The warning whistled blown. I turned away and was about to leave when I heard her voice,"pati babu".

I turned back and found her running towards me making way through the crowd. She hugged me suddenly which was such a force and I almost moved back a little. "I will miss you" she cried.

I am a human too aur yaha meri sahenshakti ka badh toot gaya. I broke into tears and creased her hair gently. We both cried unless the final whistle blowe and we moved apart. She started walking backwards as our hands started parting away slowly.

We didn't speak a single word but our eyes did. She moved back more and more unless she faded into the crowd.

The ship started moving away, much away from me, from the port.

Bondita dil se dharkan le gyi, zindagi se khushi le gyi, hooton se hasi le gyi mujhse mujhko le gyi.

Chali gyi wo.....

And I know, when she will come back, she will hate me and love Batuk. I will make sure she does that.

She will never feel for me, I will make sure. She won't.

Is it really possible to enforce emotions within a person? No it is not. Will really Anirudh ne able to make her forget him? Will she ever be able to forget him completely? It is infatuation or true love?